Housemate driving us crazy

Blue Magic

I'm living with 3 guys (guy myself) in a nice area of Dublin with very reasonable rent, proximity to buses to work, etc. So, moving is not really a viable option.

We've got a housemate who creates communal mess like Bart Simpson, with zero awareness or manners. The lad hogs the communal area, never leaves the house (apart from work or Tesco trips) and is dog lazy. He does no cleaning whatsoever. We've gotten cleaners in, tried sitting down reasoning with him and explaining things to him, etc.

At this stage, I'm running out of ideas. What can we do to make the living situation more tolerable?

Any suggestions welcome

whatcanidonow

What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.

Mike3549

Can you kick him out?

is_that_so

Firm intervention and final warning? I'd make him pay for the cleaners!

Blue Magic

Mike3549 wrote: »

Can you kick him out?

Well, not really. He pays his rent to landlord and the bills.

I think the guy might be a bit autistic to be honest but we've been very reasonable with him and tried the arm around the shoulder, good cop bad cop approach. Everything really

Blue Magic

is_that_so wrote: »

Firm intervention and final warning? I'd make him pay for the cleaners!

Yeah. Good idea RE: paying because he's as tight as hell as well :-(

daheff

have you tried talking with the landlord?

Pineapple1

What a nightmare, I definitely think you need to have a chat with the landlord and hope that they can talk some sense into Bart. Although in my experience it's probably easier finding a cure for the common cold than having a messy housemate change their ways, sorry. Best of luck though, its horrible after coming home from a long day at work to a home thats in a state with all kinds of smells starting to gather.

Blue Magic

daheff wrote: »

have you tried talking with the landlord?

Not yet but its coming to the point where we'd consider it. He's the kind of landlord who's happy once he has his money though so he might just laugh it off tbh 😅

Blue Magic

Pineapple1 wrote: »

What a nightmare, I definitely think you need to have a chat with the landlord and hope that they can talk some sense into Bart. Although in my experience it's probably easier finding a cure for the common cold than having a messy housemate change their ways, sorry. Best of luck though, its horrible after coming home from a long day at work to a home that's in a state with all kinds of smells starting to gather.

Yeah, thanks for your good wishes.

Literally all sorts of smells. His retainer braces in a mug in the kitchen which he par-washes with cold water. Its vile!

saabsaab

Get the most expensive daily cleaning quote possible. Have a house meeting produce this 'bill' and say that the situation demands this action be taken and that all are must be in agreement to pay if they want to stay. see how he reacts if he is tight he may offer to do the work of move out?

Pineapple1

Blue Magic wrote:

Literally all sorts of smells. His retainer braces in a mug in the kitchen which he par-washes with cold water. Its vile!

Ah here, fluck that... Landlord. Immediately.

jlm29

You need to help him find a girlfriend to take him off your hands....
seriously though, it’s hard to change room mates, he’s been brought up like that- telling him you have to get a cleaner and he can cough up for his fair share is probably the best way to communicate

Blue Magic

saabsaab wrote: »

Get the most expensive daily cleaning quote possible. Have a house meeting produce this 'bill' and say that the situation demands this action be taken and that all are must be in agreement to pay if they want to stay. see how he reacts if he is tight he may offer to do the work of move out?

This is possibly the best approach. We'll try this. Thanks

Blue Magic

jlm29 wrote: »

You need to help him find a girlfriend to take him off your hands....
seriously though, it’s hard to change room mates, he’s been brought up like that- telling him you have to get a cleaner and he can cough up for his fair share is probably the best way to communicate

Oh you have it in one. Badly needs a woman to train him out of his 1950s West of Ireland upbringing... lol.

spaceHopper

Can you ask to talk to his family. Or arrange for somebody else to take his place and kick him out.

theballz

Blue Magic wrote: »

I'm living with 3 guys (guy myself) in a nice area of Dublin with very reasonable rent, proximity to buses to work, etc. So, moving is not really a viable option.

We've got a housemate who creates communal mess like Bart Simpson, with zero awareness or manners. The lad hogs the communal area, never leaves the house (apart from work or Tesco trips) and is dog lazy. He does no cleaning whatsoever. We've gotten cleaners in, tried sitting down reasoning with him and explaining things to him, etc.

At this stage, I'm running out of ideas. What can we do to make the living situation more tolerable?

Any suggestions welcome

What does he say when you try to reason with him and explain your discontent?

afkasurfjunkie

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Ah here, fluck that... Landlord. Immediately.

He could be dead in 6 months with that habit. Imagine the bacteria!

Xterminator

Hi OP

the only possible approach is to approach the landlord together and tell him either he loses one tenant or he loses 3.

landlord doesnt really care about this guys manners, habits etc. he will care about losing 3 good paying tenants. But you probably need to ready to carry out your threat to leave.

BrokenArrows

You need to confront him and say he needs to change his ways or move out. He will probably love out of embarrassment anyway.

Landlord likely won't care.

marvin80

I remember living in a house years ago and we had a similar issue with two of the lads living with us.

Very messy, wouldn't clean up after themselves - we mentioned it to them a good few times but no improvement.
So we decided to fight fire with fire - told the lads if they weren't going to tidy up either were we.
For a few days we didn't do any cleaning and actually went out of our way to make a mess. Made sure there was no clean plates, cups etc.., threw any rubbish we had on the ground, the works.

Came home one day to find the 2 lads cleaning up and never had any issues again.

Your housemate isn't learning any lessons when you clean up after him constantly.

Wanderer78

Blue Magic wrote:

I think the guy might be a bit autistic to be honest but we've been very reasonable with him and tried the arm around the shoulder, good cop bad cop approach. Everything really

If he is on the spectrum, it could be tricky, but it does sound likely he is. Have you tried a cleaning rota, us spectrum folk like lists very much?

salonfire

Wanderer78 wrote: »

If he is on the spectrum, it could be tricky, but it does sound likely he is. Have you tried a cleaning rota, us spectrum folk like lists very much?

Why is it tricky? If he is unable to clean up, then out on his ear with him.

Diemos

Wanderer78 wrote: »

If he is on the spectrum, it could be tricky, but it does sound likely he is. Have you tried a cleaning rota, us spectrum folk like lists very much?

He's a lazy sh!t by the sounds of it, that all. I don't know the guy obs, but nothing said here makes me think he was on the spectrum.

OP, have a chat with the landlord, but if it is bothering you that much then moving may be a necessity.

the_syco

marvin80 wrote: »

Your housemate isn't learning any lessons when you clean up after him constantly.

Pretty much this. Don't clean the common area for two weeks, leave it goto hell. If he has an issue with it, tell him to clean it up himself, or to leave. Currently, there's not much reason why he'd clean.

Day Lewin

Gather up his dirty dishes, glasses, ashtrays, mug of teeth, pizza boxes, wet laundry etc etc and place them all in his room, on his bed, every time. Cover the bed and let the pile block the entrance. Accidentally step on a few small items, too.
This is yours...
This is yours...
this is yours.
Oops. Sorry!

shenanagans

Sit him down. Outline how reasonable the rent is in your current place. Show him a few ads on Daft of current average rents in your area. Perhaps he doesn't realise how lucky he is.

Tell him to sort himself out or you'll have to get landlord involved.

Make a list of all the unacceptable behaviour....perhaps is unaware of his bad habits. If he doesn't acknowledge the issue then contact landlord asap.

If you straight to LL without having a serious talk with him, outlining issues then you'll piss LL off.

davo2001

Why are people saying to go to the landlord? This has literally nothing to do with him! I'm assuming that since you are all renting that you are all at least 18 yrs of age, well, in that case act like an adult and sort it out amongst yourselves!

Mrs OBumble

Day Lewin wrote: »

Gather up his dirty dishes, glasses, ashtrays, mug of teeth, pizza boxes, wet laundry etc etc and place them all in his room, on his bed, every time. Cover the bed and let the pile block the entrance. Accidentally step on a few small items, too.
This is yours...
This is yours...
this is yours.
Oops. Sorry!

This. I had success in a similar situation by moving just one discarded apple core from the kitchen table to a housemates bed.

Mango Joe

Day Lewin wrote: »

Gather up his dirty dishes, glasses, ashtrays, mug of teeth, pizza boxes, wet laundry etc etc and place them all in his room, on his bed, every time. Cover the bed and let the pile block the entrance. Accidentally step on a few small items, too.
This is yours...
This is yours...
this is yours.
Oops. Sorry!

100% pile all his **** around him until it reaches ear height....Manky prick.

Reviews and Books Galore

Blue Magic wrote: »

Not yet but its coming to the point where we'd consider it. He's the kind of landlord who's happy once he has his money though so he might just laugh it off tbh ��

I hate to do this to a fellow renter, but if you emphasise future damages cuased by his mess (mold, damages to apliances, etc), it will probably get the landlord to give him a months' notice.