'Are you afraid of a real woman?'

Biodegradable

You know the way overweight women are beginning to say things like this these days? Am I too real for you?

Jimmy Carr had a good comeback for this one in his stand up show in Edinburgh. But I'm after forgetting what it was! Did anyone else hear it by any chance? I've always found it kind of irritating to hear someone making excuses for acting as if being fat is the norm.

Quantum Erasure

but theres no women here, right?

Odelay

A pain in the arse is what I’m afraid of.

Tell me how

Biodegradable wrote: »

Jimmy Carr had a good comeback for this one in his stand up show in Edinburgh. But I'm after forgetting what it was! Did anyone else hear it by any chance? I've always found it kind of irritating to hear someone making excuses for acting as if fat is the norm.

Is there a real woman attacking you?
Do you want a discussion on body image?
Is it troubling you that you cannot remember Jimmy's punch line?

You had 4 sentences in your post and there seems to be 3 distinct topics within it.

Advances have been made in the detection and approach to dementia. Given the rambling nature of your post, maybe you should consider that.

jam_mac_jam

As opposed to a pretend one? What is a real woman? What is reality...

i am 3 crows in a trenchcoat

noone must ever find out

jaxxx

Nah, I just canny talk to women! Get stunned like a deer in headlights.

Leg End Reject

bluewolf wrote: »

i am 3 crows in a trenchcoat

noone must ever find out

No, you're Earthhorse.

Junkyard Tom

Shut your fat mouth.

Ipso

jaxxx wrote: »

Nah, I just canny talk to women! Get stunned like a deer in headlights.

Just say to them, what smashing blouse they are wearing.

Capt'n Midnight

bluewolf wrote: »

i am 3 crows in a trenchcoat

noone must ever find out

Why must noone ever find out ?

It it because it's attempted murder ?

Plumbthedepths

Difine real woman, is that one with fake tan, fake eyelashes, foundation powder, consealer, fake boobs, enhanced lips, butt lift or...without all the aforementioned?

branie2

No

Sirsok

Wait.... what is a woman nowadays?

I'm more afraid of not knowing whats supposed to be classed as a woman

YFlyer

He did mention about paedophiles.

Wtf ?

Ipso wrote: »

Just say to them, what smashing blouse they are wearing.

It goes with your lovely ''frock'':o

banie01

bluewolf wrote: »

i am 3 crows in a trenchcoat

noone must ever find out

I knew ya were a bird...
But...
Now you're an orgy too?!?! :eek:

Wayne Jarvis

bluewolf wrote: »

i am 3 crows in a trenchcoat

No all women are actually brooms. This is established fact.

D3V!L

Is it another name for fat chicks now ?

Feisar

OP has this actually happened to you?

Also did you not think about how someone might feel this morning, worrying over what to wear, pops onto boards and your post if what they see?

Tombo2001

One of the things that intrigues me in social media is the dichotomy between who the OP thinks they are talking to; and who they are actually talking to.

An OP like this - in after hours - is the equivalent of getting up on stage in the 3 Arena and making an announcement to 5000 people.

Men and women, young and old, city and rural, all walks of life.

OP seems to think however - that he is sat in the boozer with 6 of his mates having a chat.

OP - why are you addressing this to the vast amounts of women who will read this? WTF are you thinking?

Deebles McBeebles

Biodegradable wrote: »

Are you afraid of a real woman?

Verily.

Earthhorse

I think I saw that Jimmy Carr gig alright.

His comeback was, "Oh yeah, well the jerkstore called and they're running out of you!"

Classic!

Earthhorse

Leg End Reject wrote: »

No, you're Earthhorse.

Guy Person wrote: »

No all women are actually brooms. This is established fact.

If only this gif ended a few seconds sooner.

jimgoose

Frackin' toasters...

Fart

"You're not bad for a fat buurd".

Mr. teddywinkles

A real woman does all the cooking and cleaning.
Goes down a treat

14dMoney

Biodegradable wrote: »

You know the way overweight women are beginning to say things like this these days? Am I too real for you?

Jimmy Carr had a good comeback for this one in his stand up show in Edinburgh. But I'm after forgetting what it was! Did anyone else hear it by any chance? I've always found it kind of irritating to hear someone making excuses for acting as if being fat is the norm.

Why would someone be afraid of a fat girl? In fact, everybody should try Fat-Girl Rodeo!

How to Play Fat-Girl Rodeo:
1. Your friends pick out a fat girl.
2. The player then approaches this girl and asks for a hug.
3. Once hug has been initiated, the player must then whisper in the ear of the girl "you're a big fat pig" and then hold on to the hug for as long as you can.
4. The remaining players must drink continuously whilst the fat girl attempts to shake off the hug.

Badly Drunk Boy

bluewolf wrote: »

i am 3 crows in a trenchcoat

noone must ever find out

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Why must noone ever find out ?

Is it because it's attempted murder ?

A murder of crows?

padd b1975

Earthhorse wrote: »

I think I saw that Jimmy Carr gig alright.

His comeback was, "Oh yeah, well the jerkstore called and they're running out of you!"

Classic!

3/10.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

14dMoney wrote: »

Why would someone be afraid of a fat girl? In fact, everybody should try Fat-Girl Rodeo!

How to Play Fat-Girl Rodeo:
1. Your friends pick out a fat girl.
2. The player then approaches this girl and asks for a hug.
3. Once hug has been initiated, the player must then whisper in the ear of the girl "you're a big fat pig" and then hold on to the hug for as long as you can.
4. The remaining players must drink continuously whilst the fat girl attempts to shake off the hug.

Ooh I know a shorter more efficient version of that for if you can't see a fat girl!

1. Drink if you're a massive cnut

Same end result like, just a bunch of drunk cnuts!

TuringBot47

Biodegradable wrote: »

You know the way overweight women are beginning to say things like this these days? Am I too real for you?

And they probably have a Facebook relationship status of "It's complicated", meaning different fathers for each of their kids.

14dMoney

Julian Alive Albacore wrote: »

Ooh I know a shorter more efficient version of that for if you can't see a fat girl!

1. Drink if you're a massive cnut

Same end result like, just a bunch of drunk cnuts!

And then the lads did all that training for nothing!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

14dMoney wrote: »

And then the lads did all that training for nothing!

Man. The lads been training their whole lives for "drink if you're a massive cnut", mon. Morning noon and night training hard at cnutyness. Don't do them like that

Biodegradable

Earthhorse wrote: »

I think I saw that Jimmy Carr gig alright.

His comeback was, "Oh yeah, well the jerkstore called and they're running out of you!"

Classic!

Are you sure that was it?

Bobblehats

After witnessing those skinny rakes doing the athletics at the weekend even Victoria beckham looked fat this morning. Limbs like sticks that can go on for literally miles they fall just short of only needing to step over the high jump bar

jimgoose

Bobblehats wrote: »

After witnessing those skinny rakes doing the athletics at the weekend even Victoria beckham looked fat this morning. Limbs like sticks that can go on for literally miles they fall just short of only needing to step over the high jump bar

Avast, lubber! They're magnificent creatures, especially the 100m sprinters.

Bigbagofcans

Bobblehats wrote: »

After witnessing those skinny rakes doing the athletics at the weekend even Victoria beckham looked fat this morning. Limbs like sticks that can go on for literally miles they fall just short of only needing to step over the high jump bar

Skinny-shaming is just as bad as fat-shaming.

Bobblehats

jimgoose wrote: »

Avast, lubber! They're magnificent creatures, especially the 100m sprinters.

I’m just jelly my nephew got squeezed out of representing Ireland by africans. Literally pipped to the post, how he even kept the pace is an achievement in itself

Raconteuse

padd b1975 wrote: »

3/10.

Biodegradable wrote: »

Are you sure that was it?

Whooshy McWhooshface.

KathleenGrant

Why are only overweight women "real women"? What's wrong with average/skinny/underweight women. Women are women are women, no?

Reviews and Books Galore

Julian Alive Albacore wrote: »

Ooh I know a shorter more efficient version of that for if you can't see a fat girl!

1. Drink if you're a massive cnut

Same end result like, just a bunch of drunk cnuts!

Tbh, it sounds like a way to get the crap kicked out of you :P

AulWan

Jimmy Carr is vile.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

I remember being rounded upon on an online discussion when I said if I could have the figure of one of the Mad Men women, Christina Hendricks would be way down the list. “You wouldn’t want to look like a real woman?” type thing. I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that January Jones, Peyton List and Alison Brie aren’t real women. Some of the responders seemed to be men too. I’m not saying that Hendricks is fat. There’s just an awful lot of boobage.

Mango Joe

I think it's safe to say that 99.99% of men and women who are overweight to any degree are not out to somehow craftily outwit and disadvantage people like the OP through linguistic mind games with regards to matters of their weight or degrees of reality with respect to the question of their very existence.

Raconteuse

14dMoney wrote: »

Why would someone be afraid of a fat girl? In fact, everybody should try Fat-Girl Rodeo!

How to Play Fat-Girl Rodeo:
1. Your friends pick out a fat girl.
2. The player then approaches this girl and asks for a hug.
3. Once hug has been initiated, the player must then whisper in the ear of the girl "you're a big fat pig" and then hold on to the hug for as long as you can.
4. The remaining players must drink continuously whilst the fat girl attempts to shake off the hug.

Thing that never happened, part 7 million.

KathleenGrant

Raconteuse wrote: »

Thing that never happened, part 7 million.

Agree 100%

OP, Your handle provoked be to post this YouTube vid:

Go to 9.51. - so if you explode with indignation at the progress of this thread then you can come back as a plant, that's how you can watch the ladies!

https://youtu.be/HgE7UJq_bgk

RocketRaccoon

AulWan wrote: »

Jimmy Carr is vile.

So are "real" women.

Wayne Jarvis

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I’m not saying that Christian Hendricks is fat. There’s just an awful lot of boobage.

Not enough boobage in my humble opinion.

Earthhorse

Christina Hendricks is an unreal woman IMO.