Nerves with lessons

De Danann

Hi,

I'm having seriously bad anxiety in the morning before my lessons. I am not nervous when I drive with my accompanied driver at all so I don't know if this is just because the instructor is judging me and being more focused on my performance.

Does anyone else get this and how do you combat it? It's extremely unpleasant and several times I've had to fight the urge to cancel the lesson because I felt I was going to be sick.

I don't experience anything like this in any other aspect of my life. I do public speaking regularly and don't bat an eyelid but lessons break me completely. I end up with a headache after the lesson from clenching my jaw the whole time too out of pure anxiety.

biko

It's a psychological problem but can be helped by using beta blockers.
Ask a medical professional.

Canyon86

It will get easier with time

I was nervous too before lessons and during

You will get through this!!!

It might be an idea to change instructors.

De Danann

biko wrote: »

It's a psychological problem but can be helped by using beta blockers.
Ask a medical professional.

If it's only the lessons (once a week) and not the driving itself, I don't think I want to get into using medication for it.

De Danann

[Deleted User] wrote: »

It might be an idea to change instructors.

My instructor is actually the loveliest person. I think I'm just nervous because I want to be perfect at it and can't take criticism well.

punisher5112

Have you spoken to them about this....

If it were me I'd rather know and then do my best to help.

Would you try get 2 lessons in instead of just one.... You may get so use to it the nerves go away well not fully but it is understandable as it's something new and it is exciting too....

holy guacamole

De Danann wrote: »

I'm just nervous because I want to be perfect at it and can't take criticism well.

Sounds quite similar to my own experiences.

Do you tend to focus on the one mistake you make during your lesson rather than all the good stuff you do?

You just have to accept that you are learning a new, and quite difficult, skill, and although you might be proficient in every other aspect of your life this is something which you haven't mastered yet.

Discuss your progress at the end of each lesson, highlight your concerns, the things you're nervous about and ask for an honest assessment from your instructor.

De Danann

punisher5112 wrote: »

Have you spoken to them about this....

If it were me I'd rather know and then do my best to help.

Would you try get 2 lessons in instead of just one.... You may get so use to it the nerves go away well not fully but it is understandable as it's something new and it is exciting too....

It's a 2 hour lesson each time. I just don't understand because I drive my own car during the week with an accompanying driver and I am not nervous then. It's literally only the lessons that cause me to feel sick.

De Danann

holy guacamole wrote: »

Sounds quite similar to my own experiences.

Do you tend to focus on the one mistake you make during your lesson rather than all the good stuff you do?

You just have to accept that you are learning a new, and quite difficult, skill, and although you might be proficient in every other aspect of your life this is something which you haven't mastered yet.

Discuss your progress at the end of each lesson, highlight your concerns, the things you're nervous about and ask for an honest assessment from your instructor.

My instructor is aware of my nerves and is very good. The majority of the panic is before the lesson and then there is just a tension in me throughout it.

Again, I am comfortable driving my own car during the week with my sponsor and feel no nerves then so I assume it's because my instructor is trying to help me pass a test so is pointing out more stuff I'm doing wrong

punisher5112

De Danann wrote: »

My instructor is aware of my nerves and is very good. The majority of the panic is before the lesson and then there is just a tension in me throughout it.

Again, I am comfortable driving my own car during the week with my sponsor and feel no nerves then so I assume it's because my instructor is trying to help me pass a test so is pointing out more stuff I'm doing wrong

Would you not drive your own car for lessons?

De Danann

punisher5112 wrote: »

Would you not drive your own car for lessons?

Sorry there might have been some miscommunication. I do drive my own car for lessons. I just meant to differentiate that I have my own car which I use outside of lessons too and don't get nervous driving it when it's not a lesson.

MascotDec85

What you need to remember is that your instructor is there to help you. When they point out of explain errors you might make, it’s not a criticism, it’s to help you become a better safer driver. There isn’t a learner out there who doesn’t make mistakes, you all do. You just have to try and accept that each lesson won’t be perfect from start to finish.
Maybe try rescue remedy the night before/morning of your lesson. This might take the edge off your nerves. Beta blockers are better for one off situations like a test.

J_R

De Danann wrote: »

It's a 2 hour lesson each time. I just don't understand because I drive my own car during the week with an accompanying driver and I am not nervous then. It's literally only the lessons that cause me to feel sick.

Hi,

Why two hours ? Try a one hour.

MascotDec85

J_R wrote: »

Hi,

Why two hours ? Try a one hour.

A nervous pupil may take time to settle into the lesson. By the time they have the clock has swung round and it’s over. 2hrs can be very helpful. If it’s too long, it can be scaled back to 1.5hrs

J_R

Originally Posted by J_R View Post
Hi,

Why two hours ? Try a one hour.

MascotDec85 wrote: »

A nervous pupil may take time to settle into the lesson. By the time they have the clock has swung round and it’s over. 2hrs can be very helpful. If it’s too long, it can be scaled back to 1.5hrs

Hi,

The OP posted they had serious anxiety problem even before the lesson. Perhaps if they knew the lesson would only last the normal one hour it would lessen this dread.

If the reason they require a two hour lesson is because they must travel a long distance then my advice would be to do two normal one hour lessons with a break in between.


Personally when preparing someone for the test I found two hour lessons were too long. If time was critical gave them the two hours but with at least an hour break in between.

Hercule Poirot

Hi OP,

I'm currently learning to drive, just finished my 12th lesson actually

I was extremely nervous before each lesson, maybe not to the extent I felt sick but it was there

It seems like your instructor is sound, which is a great bonus - the only thing I can say about my own experience is that the amount of nerves have reduced over time

How far apart are your lessons? You might consider bringing them closer if possible? If there is nervousness this can increase as the anticipation rises as you get closer, reducing the gap can reduce the level it's reached before your lesson

I hope it all works out for you OP, best of luck

MascotDec85

J_R wrote: »

Hi,

The OP posted they had serious anxiety problem even before the lesson. Perhaps if they knew the lesson would only last the normal one hour it would lessen this dread.

If the reason they require a two hour lesson is because they must travel a long distance then my advice would be to do two normal one hour lessons with a break in between.


Personally when preparing someone for the test I found two hour lessons were too long. If time was critical gave them the two hours but with at least an hour break in between.

I rarely, if ever, give someone a 2hr lesson immediately prior to their test, it’s too long.

J_R

MascotDec85 wrote: »

I rarely, if ever, give someone a 2hr lesson immediately prior to their test, it’s too long.

Hi,

Ideally the lesson immediately before the test should be an hour long, nice easy calm drive around town. Preparing the test candidate to meet the really nice man/woman from the RSA who will be more than happy to pass them. All they have to do is give them a simple drive around town.

All the heavy work having been completed in the previous hour long lessons.

zepman

Does your sponsor give any feedback/critique during your practice drives?

Based on your posts, it looks like you are comfortable driving with your sponsor next to you. Having this sponsor giving you constant feedback might help you get used to the atmosphere, since it would be coming from someone you know well and are comfortable with.

Earlier this year, when I was preparing for my test, my sponsor would constantly give feedback on whatever mistake he noticed, no matter how small. He was my colleague from work, so we already had this dynamic going where we could critique each other's work without it being taken personally. He was also a good friend outside of work, so even without thinking about it, I knew that he had my best interests at heart.