Whingy Returning Emigrants

marieholmfan

Belfast is **** though.

June Cold Fighter wrote: »

I think it's more that O'Connor takes a simplistic black-and-white stance, representing everything in New York as dynamic, exciting, and wonderful, and everything in Belfast as drab, boring, and unimpressive.

For instance, she mentions meeting poets as a benefit of living in New York. But Northern Ireland has produced many impressive poets over the years, including Michael Longley, Paul Muldoon, Derek Mahon, Frank Ormsby, Tom Paulin, Ciaran Carson, Medbh McGuckian, and of course Nobel laureate Seamus Heaney. If one wants to find working poets in Northern Ireland, it's not hard.

I just don't accept that there's nothing to do in Belfast. No, it's not New York, but you'll still find numerous events in the evenings and weekends to suit almost any taste. If she were to stop crying and moping around, and take advantage of what is all around her, she might find that Northern Ireland is not such a horrible fate. Life is what you make it.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Deleted User wrote: »

I've lived 11 years in Xi'an, and I'm a University lecturer. Networking is an essential part of life here.

Schmoozing happens everywhere. I’ve known plenty of social butterflies in my life. It’s simply not possibly to know that many people as well as you claim to. Nobody has that much head space or free time. Totally unrealistic. Even a tenth of the figure you gave would be stretching believability.

PostWoke

dodderangler wrote: »

Because she’s a tool and hasn’t a clue?!!!!

As opposed to you, the hard man bullying a young teenager? :pac:

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Schmoozing happens everywhere. I’ve known plenty of social butterflies in my life. It’s simply not possibly to know that many people as well as you claim to. Nobody has that much head space or free time. Totally unrealistic. Even a tenth of the figure you gave would be stretching believability.

As well as I claim to? I said that I knew them well enough to meet for dinner or a coffee. I'm not suggesting that I'm "buddies" with all of them. Foreigners, especially those of us who live here long term, and speak reasonable Chinese, tend to be popular... and as such, knowing many people goes with the territory. Most Chinese want the chance to practice their English, chat with a foreigner or use us for business promotion. Dunno why this is so difficult for you to accept.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Deleted User wrote: »

As well as I claim to? I said that I knew them well enough to meet for dinner or a coffee. I'm not suggesting that I'm "buddies" with all of them. Foreigners, especially those of us who live here long term, and speak reasonable Chinese, tend to be popular... and as such, knowing many people goes with the territory. Most Chinese want the chance to practice their English, chat with a foreigner or use us for business promotion. Dunno why this is so difficult for you to accept.

Oh, I know you did. Getting to know somebody well enough to meet them for dinner or tea takes a decent level of effort. Total and complete rubbish that you know 3000 people that well. It’s just not possible at all. At least make some effort to cite a reasonable figure.

Oh and let me remind you that your first post said you had a “friend circle” of 3,000. I don’t think I’d count people who want to use me for business promotion as friends. Even if I did, still a ridiculous figure.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Oh, I know you did. Getting to know somebody well enough to meet them for dinner or tea takes a decent level of effort.

Okay, I tried to be nice about this but I've had enough. It's pretty obvious that you're very settled in Ireland with it's rather limited population, and blind to the aspect that your options are limited due to that culture.

First, I live in a city with twice as many people as Ireland. I'm not limited to encountering a small number of people. In terms or options to meet people, it blows Ireland out of the water. I've lived in Dublin before, and my circle of friends was tiny in comparison to now. My university alone has a faculty and student population of 23k people.

Second, I work 16 hours a week as a lecturer, and have more time than most to socialise, should I choose to do so. Plus the culture here is vastly different to Irish culture, so there is a difference in the way relationships are formed and maintained. However,you're unable to see anything except Irish/western culture as being the only possible way of living.

Third, I've said twice, to meet someone for coffee or dinner. You keep returning to the idea of my needing to know people well to do that. I don't. Once more, it's an example of the difference between Irish culture VS external cultures, but you've latched on to it to make your point. I don't need to know someone very well to meet them for coffee or dinner. Eating in China is a very social affair, with groups of people eating out being very common. Yesterday, I had hotpot with 9 people. That's not uncommon. Due to the low cost of eating at restaurants, many people eat outside daily as opposed to the more expensive lifestyle of Ireland, where people tend to reserve eating out to dates or special occasions.

Getting to know someone well does take a decent amount of time (not really effort though), but I never claimed them to be my bosom buddies.

Total and complete rubbish that you know 3000 people that well. It’s just not possible at all. At least make some effort to cite a reasonable figure.

I remember what it's like to be a westerner living in a western city. You're just another person relying on your own attributes to be popular. Here its different. Simply as a foreigner, I gain greater popularity. As a Lecturer, and former English teacher, I gain more popularity. Knowing Chinese when most foreigners don't, and most Chinese have extremely poor English, adds even more popularity. But you're incapable of understanding any of that because you've firmly got your perception fixed on your own experiences. Understandable but your attitude to others lives is flawed.

Oh and let me remind you that your first post said you had a “friend circle” of 3,000. I don’t think I’d count people who want to use me for business promotion as friends. Even if I did, still a ridiculous figure.

Are they best friends? Nope. I have three of those. Are they friends I would seek out to tell my innermost thoughts? Nope, I'd have about 7 others I'd consider for that. Are they people I would meet often during a single week? Nope, I have about 40 people in total who I meet regularly for dinners. But those on my friends circle are people I know, and can meet for a coffee or dinner.. we won't be very familiar with each other but I'll know reasonably well who they are and what they want with me.

Friends, acquaintances, colleagues, etc. The fact that you're making such a big deal of this suggests that you only know a very limited number of people, and can't fathom having an active social life in a major city.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Yeah, living in a huge city doesn’t suddenly imbue somebody with extra, unrealistic resources re: time, inclination, time. If you had said 300, even that would have been hard to believe. Let me break it to you - we all have friends, acquaintances and colleagues.

I have lived outside Ireland by the way.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Yeah, living in a huge city doesn’t suddenly imbue somebody with extra, unrealistic resources re: time, inclination, time. If you had said 300, even that would have been hard to believe. Let me break it to you - we all have friends, acquaintances and colleagues.

I have lived outside Ireland by the way.

Forget it. You're missing the point completely, and unwilling to consider anything beyond your own experience.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Deleted User wrote: »

Forget it. You're missing the point completely, and unwilling to consider anything beyond your own experience.

Nah, it’s just that obvious bullshit is obvious. It’s not possible to know that many people that well. No matter where you live. I’m not the only one who found it ridiculous either and it would be a bit silly of you to speculate on the lives of those who expressed incredulity at your claim and those who thanked the posts expressing incredulity. And there is large diverse city close to Ireland that I bet half this thread has lived in at one stage. London would have half the population of your city. Does that mean that anyone there long-term will know 1500 people well enough to dine with at a moment’s notice?

cj maxx

[Deleted User] wrote: »

If I returned home, I'd have a very hard time. That's on me. Easy go, not so easy come back. Socially I'd be lost.

I did after 9 years. Yeah it was tough. But I knew what I was coming back to. Same shyte as when I left except people thought they were financial wizards
I missed some things about NY but I got on with it.
Moaning little girl. What did she expect ?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Nah, it’s just that obvious bullshit is obvious. It’s not possible to know that many people that well. No matter where you live. I’m not the only one who found it ridiculous either and it would be a bit silly of you to speculate on the lives of those who expressed incredulity at your claim and those who thanked the posts expressing incredulity. And there is large diverse city close to Ireland that I bet half this thread has lived in at one stage. London would have half the population of your city. Does that mean that anyone there long-term will know 1500 people well enough to dine with at a moment’s notice?

A few people liked your posts, hardly an overwhelming gesture of disbelief. And you tend to twist the statements to suggest something more than what I originally said. As I said, the culture here regarding socializing is different than in the west. But enough, we're going nowhere with this.

Arghus

I read the article and I usually try to at least be fair to things and see what the author has to say, I don't like to come to snap judgments - and it really annoys me when people do it.

One look at her and I could already tell she's a pain in the hole.

The quality of the article is terrible for something published on The Irish Times site. It reads like a particularly self absorbed facebook post.

Plumbthedepths

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Nah, it’s just that obvious bullshit is obvious. It’s not possible to know that many people that well. No matter where you live. I’m not the only one who found it ridiculous either and it would be a bit silly of you to speculate on the lives of those who expressed incredulity at your claim and those who thanked the posts expressing incredulity. And there is large diverse city close to Ireland that I bet half this thread has lived in at one stage. London would have half the population of your city. Does that mean that anyone there long-term will know 1500 people well enough to dine with at a moment’s notice?

Ah shure doesn't the lad on the Nescafé ad claim we meet 80,000 people in our lives. Maybe the poster is the same lad......just sayin.

Mango Joe

Jesus, talk about an extreme case of coming out of a myopic, narcissistic, immature bubble in a very public way.

I'm really struggling to believe that these "celebrities, diplomats, poets, artists, wealthy publishers, all-round interesting human beings" weren't running from Little Miss Christmas while coming out in a scaly rash.

There should be some sort of rule against assholes like this flying back into the Country they turned their back on just to cynically abuse our State subsidised educational systems.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Ah shure doesn't the lad on the Nescafé ad claim we meet 80,000 people in our lives. Maybe the poster is the same lad......just sayin.

I’m so glad I barely watch ads anymore. :pac:

Deebles McBeebles

Not sure if its been brought up here yet but she was on Voice of Ireland apparently.

https://www.independent.ie/regionals/corkman/news/nollaig-vocal-after-voice-vote-27092636.html

BENDYBINN

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Not sure if its been brought up here yet but she was on Voice of Ireland apparently.

https://www.independent.ie/regionals/corkman/news/nollaig-vocal-after-voice-vote-27092636.html

Wow, She’s gorgeous!

Homelander

lol @ "I have 3,000 friends I'd go for coffee with now and again"

o1s1n

Deleted User wrote: »

Forget it. You're missing the point completely, and unwilling to consider anything beyond your own experience.

If you wanted to see each of those 3000 friends once a year, you'd have to meet 8.2 of them a day.

Are you going out to dinner/coffee with over 8 people a day?

Even if somehow you are, could you really consider a person you only met once a year anything more than a casual acquaintance at best?

If you dropped a zero and said 300, that means you would have to hang out with a different person almost every day. And that's a tenth of your original number.

batman_oh

o1s1n wrote: »

If you wanted to see each of those 3000 friends once a year, you'd have to meet 8.2 of them a day.

Are you going out to dinner/coffee with over 8 people a day?

Even if somehow you are, could you really consider a person you only met once a year anything more than a casual acquaintance at best?

If you dropped a zero and said 300, that means you would have to hang out with a different person almost every day. And that's a tenth of your original number.

But he's an Academic and everybody there loves him. I would assume he meets 10 people for coffee 5 times a day at least! The bars are open until the next day too so no doubt there's a lot of midweek 24 hour drinking going on.
Ireland is terrible because he'd never have 3000+ friends here

Ray Palmer

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Forget it. You're missing the point completely, and unwilling to consider anything beyond your own experience.

There is actually scientific studies on how many friends you can have. Go look up Dunbar's Number and it will explain. The general accepted maximum friends for people is about 200.

To say you have 3000 friends is completely unrealistic and so is 10% of it.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

batman_oh wrote: »

But he's an Academic and everybody there loves him. I would assume he meets 10 people for coffee 5 times a day at least! The bars are open until the next day too so no doubt there's a lot of midweek 24 hour drinking going on.
Ireland is terrible because he'd never have 3000+ friends here

The thought of having 3000 dinner buddies brings me out in a cold sweat. If I even get ten replies to a tweet, I’m stressed out having to reply to them all. Or partaking of a busy Whatsapp group.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

o1s1n wrote: »

If you wanted to see each of those 3000 friends once a year, you'd have to meet 8.2 of them a day.

Are you going out to dinner/coffee with over 8 people a day?

Even if somehow you are, could you really consider a person you only met once a year anything more than a casual acquaintance at best?

If you dropped a zero and said 300, that means you would have to hang out with a different person almost every day. And that's a tenth of your original number.

Ray Palmer wrote: »

There is actually scientific studies on how many friends you can have. Go look up Dunbar's Number and it will explain. The general accepted maximum friends for people is about 200.

To say you have 3000 friends is completely unrealistic and so is 10% of it.

Y’all both explained it much more eloquently! Though what started out as “friend circle” became much more nebulous the more he was probed. Even still, a ridiculous figure.

Deebles McBeebles

BENDYBINN wrote: »

Wow, She’s gorgeous!

Please, lets not be crass by bringing her looks into it.

BENDYBINN

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Please, lets not be crass by bringing her looks into it.

Double jealous..

nthclare

BENDYBINN wrote: »

Double jealous..

Once you've made it on boards.ie the sky's the limit

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Y’all both explained it much more eloquently! Though what started out as “friend circle” became much more nebulous the more he was probed. Even still, a ridiculous figure.

"Friends circle" is the name of the contacts list on the app most popular for communication in China, Wechat. Nothing nebulous about any of it, although you did seek to place greater emphasis on what kind of contacts they were. I simply said people I could meet for dinner or coffee. You decided to take that to mean good friends. I've tried repeatedly to clarify that they're people I know rather than the type of friendships you're indicating.

As for the rest, fine, whatever. You can believe it impossible to know so many people. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Deleted User wrote: »

"Friends circle" is the name of the contacts list on the app most popular for communication in China, Wechat. Nothing nebulous about any of it, although you did seek to place greater emphasis on what kind of contacts they were. I simply said people I could meet for dinner or coffee. You decided to take that to mean good friends. I've tried repeatedly to clarify that they're people I know rather than the type of friendships you're indicating.

As for the rest, fine, whatever. You can believe it impossible to know so many people. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

That’s actually quite a high bar. You’re saying that like it’s nothing. It’s something.

I’m harping on about this whole thing because it’s the daftest thing I’ve read in quite a while and that’s saying something.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

That’s actually quite a high bar. You’re saying that like it’s nothing. It’s something.

Yes, it's something. It's a conversation over coffee or dinner. You're assigning greater importance to dinner or coffee than I would.

bitofabind

When it comes to long-term happiness and fulfilment, it's the deeper friendships that matter anyway.

Honestly I live in a huge city and work in Sales, between work contacts, clients, acquaintances, former colleagues and then social connections, that's a pretty big network of people I could hypothetically call up for a coffee for any number of reasons.

In reality, I come back to the same handful of trusty old friends that I know well and could call on to help hide the body at a minute's notice. It's about 5 - 10 people in total. You don't need to be in any particular place to find those kinds of connections but honestly, my experience of living in some of the world's largest cities is that it can ultimately be hard to find those kind of deeper connections. You could have 3,000 "facebook friends" but ultimately feel low-key lonely most of the time.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Deleted User wrote: »

Yes, it's something. It's a conversation over coffee or dinner. You're assigning greater importance to dinner or coffee than I would.

Even if more casual, still ridiculous. I mean, completely and utterly. I’m amazed you won’t walk back from that crazy figure. It’s actually kind of fascinating me at this point.

bitofabind wrote: »

When it comes to long-term happiness and fulfilment, it's the deeper friendships that matter anyway.

Honestly I live in a huge city and work in Sales, between work contacts, clients, acquaintances, former colleagues and then social connections, that's a pretty big network of people I could hypothetically call up for a coffee for any number of reasons.

In reality, I come back to the same handful of trusty old friends that I know well and could call on to help hide the body at a minute's notice. It's about 5 - 10 people in total. You don't need to be in any particular place to find those kinds of connections but honestly, my experience of living in some of the world's largest cities is that it can ultimately be hard to find those kind of deeper connections. You could have 3,000 "facebook friends" but ultimately feel low-key lonely most of the time.

I know that London can be a crushingly lonely place.

bitofabind

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I know that London can be a crushingly lonely place.

Yup, NY too. They're huge, transitional places where the overwhelm of crowds and chaos means people can be naturally closed off to making new, real connections. You'd be hard pressed to get eye contact from a Londoner on the street most days.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

bitofabind wrote: »

Yup, NY too. They're huge, transitional places where the overwhelm of crowds and chaos means people can be naturally closed off to making new, real connections. You'd be hard pressed to get eye contact from a Londoner on the street most days.

Both a cousin and a friend of mine said they felt themselves grow ruder by the day in their first year in London. Battling the tube at rush hour will do that to a person.

Bellbottoms

I wonder has Nollaig become aware of the backlash. I would be curious to know her view on the whole thing.

She reminds me of my 15 year old cousin. Sort of literate, pretentious and with no self awareness. It is very strange to think of someone twice my cousins age acting just like that.

Its weird.

vriesmays

Is she aware that another Nollaig O'Connor who's from NI went missing for a year. People will confuse her with that woman.

dodderangler

PostWoke wrote: »

As opposed to you, the hard man bullying a young teenager? :pac:

Feck off. Even my younger kids aren’t brainwashed as she is.
And for any of you to believe her you are the fool. She’s been told what to say. She’s rehearsed her lines and when asked questions that she hasn’t studied for she blanks and mutters. So don’t fall for it.

BENDYBINN

Bellbottoms wrote: »

I wonder has Nollaig become aware of the backlash. I would be curious to know her view on the whole thing.

She reminds me of my 15 year old cousin. Sort of literate, pretentious and with no self awareness. It is very strange to think of someone twice my cousins age acting just like that.

Its weird.

Yawn

Bellbottoms

BENDYBINN wrote: »

Yawn

????

171170

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Jesus, who brought Greta Thunberg into this? At least most of the hatred toward the girl is imprisoned in CA, where it can be avoided.

You're confusing hatred with contempt. She's not worth hating.

Quantum Erasure

Deleted User wrote: »

Yes, it's something. It's a conversation over coffee or dinner. You're assigning greater importance to dinner or coffee than I would.