Sex as Fun (?)

fattymuatty

farmchoice wrote: »

it seems to me that the issue in question has nothing whatsoever to do with sex but to do with the english word ''FUN''.

This seems to be the problem alright. I have fun doing lots of things, sex is one of them. I've been with my husband since I was a teenager. I don't feel vulnerable having sex with him like some people have said, I've been with him for half my life at this point, I'm way too comfortable around him to feel vulnerable. As someone else said we have different types of sex, sometimes it's about the connection, other times it's just a quick shag and everything in between.

Gynoid

The ones shouting at others to ''have fun'' seem like the least fun imaginable :rolleyes:
Fcuk sake.

Anus Von Skidmark

Porklife wrote: »

Or better still, **** some hot guy with a big dick and tell me you're not having fun.

Guy with a big dick here - don't all PM at once!

Woke Hogan

Porklife wrote: »

Couldn't agree more!! If anyone needs some fun sex it's Raconteuse. Getting pedantic over the word fun. Christ on a bike. Get yourself a rampant rabbit, have a few vinos , stick on some porn and tell me you're not having a good time. Or better still, **** some hot guy with a big dick and tell me you're not having fun.
Impossible unless I'm misunderstanding the word fun. It means fun, right?

80s night.

Rezident

seenitall wrote: »

I've always heard this a lot, even used the expression myself, as interchangable with sex, but I don't think it has ever quite gelled with me. And I know it isn't just me being a woman not a man thing, at all. (But it could be a part of it?)

What is it then, why can't I get on board - or do I even want to (I don't think so)

For me, sex with another person (as opposed to with myself, heh) is a helluva intense situation. I have been with many people in my life, had ONS and other casual setups but - Fun is still the last word that comes to mind. Does that make sense to anyone else here..?

Fun is going to cinema. Traveling to a new destination. Having a natter with a friend over some good food. Laughing with my daughter about some crazy meme she has just discovered online. Fun is fantastic, but it is not something my quality of life will suffer greatly if it is not forthcoming for a while.

Sex is a need. For a physical release, and for a human connection, the likes of which it is impossible (or in any case, much more difficult) to realise with your clothes on. Intimacy like that, with another human being - so important to have that once in a while. However, I've never ever been able to get down and dirty with anyone I haven't been wildly attracted to (I don't drink, so no drink goggles thing has gone on!). Most people are different to that, as I understand? Especially men?

Sex is a way of communication, an expression of trust, a wonderful means to an intensity of oblivion.

But fun? Hm.

(No PMs please. Don't even.)

The best theory I have found so far is this one: there are five main ways of feeling love, physical touch (including but not limited to just sex) is just one of them (the others being words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts and quality time).



Everyone has one of these that they need to feel loved. The kicker is that you could be doing all the other four wonderfully well for your partner but if you are not doing the one they need, they will not feel loved. It does not matter how many meals or nice words or presents my ex-wife got me, I never felt loved by her during the long periods of no physical intimacy (and there are thousands of ways to show this aside from just sex).



Mine is physical touch and I can assure you that sex (or even just a hug) for me is tremendous fun (and then some). I'm guessing yours is not physical touch, so figure out what it is and then consider your prospective partner, do you want someone who will need a lot of physical intimacy in order for them to feel loved by you if that is not your thing most of the time?

AMKC

I would not know as I have never had sex nor do I intend too and no I am not a priest before anyone asks. I just think its yuk and the last thing I want is a child as they do not interest me. I have nieces and nephews and that's good enough for me. Also I am terrible with dates and birthdays. I think people should not have a child or get married until they know the costs and are sure they can afford it. You here all these people complaining about the costs of this and that, schooling, childcare, feeding them etc. Well then maybe they should not have had a child in the first place.

jimgoose

AMKC wrote: »

I would not know as I have never had sex nor do I intend too and no I am not a priest before anyone asks. I just think its yuk and the last thing I want is a child as they do not interest me. I have nieces and nephews and that's good enough for me. Also I am terrible with dates and birthdays. I think people should not have a child or get married until they know the costs and are sure they can afford it. You here all these people complaining about the costs of this and that, schooling, childcare, feeding them etc. Well then maybe they should not have had a child in the first place.

Wait until you're twelve or thirteen and start tugging the head diddling the bean off it.

Gynoid

jimgoose wrote: »

Wait until you're twelve or thirteen and start tugging the head off it.

Come on now Jim, look at her pretty avatar. She does not have a willy.

jimgoose

Gynoid wrote: »

Come on now Jim, look at her pretty avatar. She does not have a willy.

Sorted.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Raconteuse wrote: »

Just different contexts. Fun is a party. Some people view sex as a different type of enjoyment. It seems to upset people greatly though, this point made by the OP (not you, others) but we are the uptight ones.

Fun is many things!

Porklife wrote: »

Couldn't agree more!! If anyone needs some fun sex it's Raconteuse. Getting pedantic over the word fun. Christ on a bike. Get yourself a rampant rabbit, have a few vinos , stick on some porn and tell me you're not having a good time. Or better still, **** some hot guy with a big dick and tell me you're not having fun.
Impossible unless I'm misunderstanding the word fun. It means fun, right?

I am also confused.

AllForIt

Just have sex for f*cks sake

Widdershins

Asexuality is a thing Each to their own. I'd prefer this to a slimeball for a friend any day of the week.

Anus Von Skidmark

Widdershins wrote: »

Asexuality is a thing Each to their own. I'd prefer this to a slimeball for a friend any day of the week.

I hope my friends don't mind that I'm a slimeball...

Widdershins

Anus Von Skidmark wrote: »

I hope my friends don't mind that I'm a slimeball...

Most slimeball don't have friends.. They don't understand friendship, which is not about sex. . Either that or they tolerate you but keep their pointy car keys within easy reach when you call inm

Anus Von Skidmark

Widdershins wrote: »

Most slimeball don't have friends.. They don't understand friendship, which is not about sex. . Either that or they tolerate you but keep their pointy car keys within easy reach when you call inm

Friendship isn't about sex, for sure, but having sex with friends isn't always the worst idea... Over the years I've both had sex with old friends (and remained friends afterwards) and become friends with people where it started as a one-night stand.

nkl12xtw5goz70

For some people, jumping out of a plane or riding a motorcycle at crazy speeds is a "fun" activity, even though, for other people, they'd be terrifying experiences. So the definition of "fun" varies widely from person to person. Even parties are not "fun" for introverted or socially anxious people, who would far rather be tucked up at home with a book.

Sex can be fun if you're with the right person and in a relaxed, happy mood. But sex can also be fraught with body anxiety, performance anxiety, difficulty becoming aroused, difficulty achieving orgasm, fear of rejection, etc., to the point where I understand that some people don't see it as "fun" at all.

Daniela Acidic Clothing

Daniela Acidic Clothing wrote: »

Sex can be fun if you're with the right person and in a relaxed, happy mood.

The hidden hand of the free market is known to stoke desire.

AMKC

jimgoose wrote: »

Sorted.

You wish beside's I don't think you could handle me and I am not 12 or 13 lol but it was a good laugh.

Raconteuse

Daniela Acidic Clothing wrote: »

Sex can be fun if you're with the right person and in a relaxed, happy mood. But sex can also be fraught with body anxiety, performance anxiety, difficulty becoming aroused, difficulty achieving orgasm, fear of rejection, etc., to the point where I understand that some people don't see it as "fun" at all.

That's not what the OP or I or Bitofabind are saying though. We are saying that the word "fun" doesn't do good sex justice. That it's way more of an intense experience than that.

Woke Hogan wrote: »

passionate, exciting, intimate.

This. "Fun" just doesn't seem the right word. It's what I associate with having a laugh at an event people consider a laugh, like, for example, an 80s night (as first suggested by Porklife) or karaoke as suggested by Bitofabind. Whatever you're having.

Gynoid wrote: »

The ones shouting at others to ''have fun'' seem like the least fun imaginable :rolleyes:
Fcuk sake.

Indeed. They're even resorting to insults (some of same would be leaping at the opportunity to tell others how unpleasant they are - "do as I say, not as I do!") based on nothing. They're the ones getting wound up over the discussion of the word! And the thread wasn't even started by me. Jeez like, calm down with the lazy pot shots. I know what extremely good sex is like, and it's a lot better than "fun" imo.

Church on Tuesday

This is some serious storm in a teacup stuff folks.

Leg End Reject

What a bizarre thread.

facehugger99

Is this the correct place to humble brag about the great sex I’m having?

BorneTobyWilde

Leg End Reject wrote: »

What a bizarre thread.

Shut up and kiss me

Purple Mountain

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Shut up and kiss me

Straight in, no kissin'.

Leg End Reject

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Shut up and kiss me

We have to decide it will be fun first ...

Anus Von Skidmark

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Straight in, no kissin'.

Brace yourself, Bridie - I'm goin' in dry...

BorneTobyWilde

Leg End Reject wrote: »

We have to decide it will be fun first ...

Fun is what you make it, I declare tongue war on you .

Porklife

Raconteuse wrote: »

That's not what the OP or I or Bitofabind are saying though. We are saying that the word "fun" doesn't do good sex justice. That it's way more of an intense experience than that.

This. "Fun" just doesn't seem the right word. It's what I associate with having a laugh at an event people consider a laugh, like, for example, an 80s night (as first suggested by Porklife) or karaoke as suggested by Bitofabind. Whatever you're having.

Indeed. They're even resorting to insults (some of same would be leaping at the opportunity to tell others how unpleasant they are - "do as I say, not as I do!") based on nothing. They're the ones getting wound up over the discussion of the word! And the thread wasn't even started by me. Jeez like, calm down with the lazy pot shots. I know what extremely good sex is like, and it's a lot better than "fun" imo.

I actually do understand what you mean now. I was lost earlier. Hmmm still think I'd describe it as fun though in conjunction with passionate, intimate etc. This thread makes sex pretty unsexy though I gotta say. Never gave much thought to how I'd describe it and how accurate my description is

JupiterKid

I think this thread really shows the differences men and women have in thier approach to sex -

women take sex much more seriously than men and think describing the act as "fun" does it a great disservice, whereas men are much more likely to take a blase and casual attitute to sex. Its more of a sport/ intense recreational activity for them...

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

JupiterKid wrote: »

I think this thread really shows the differences men and women have in thier approach to sex -

women take sex much more seriously than men and think describing the act as "fun" does it a great disservice, whereas men are much more likely to take a blase and casual attitute to sex. Its more of a sport/ intense recreational activity for them...

No, I’m a woman in the ‘sex is fun’ camp.

EmmetSpiceland

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

No, I’m a woman in the ‘sex is fun’ camp.

With the caveat of “as long as it’s with the right person and there are feelings involved”?

Woke Hogan

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

With the caveat of “as long as it’s with the right person and there are feelings involved”?

You don't have to until you feel like you're ready, Emmet.

Anus Von Skidmark

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

No, I’m a woman in the ‘sex is fun’ camp.

How you doin'? ;-)

EmmetSpiceland

Woke Hogan wrote: »

You don't have to until you feel like you're ready, Emmet.

Haha, very funny, old man.

Don’t you worry about me. I, certainly, “put it about” before settling down with my partner.

And, I should add, it was, always, a lot of “fun”.

Woke Hogan

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Haha, very funny, old man.

Don’t you worry about me. I, certainly, “put it about” before settling down with my partner.

And, I should add, it was, always, a lot of “fun”.

That's "all" "it" "was" a lot of, "I presume."

Homelander

Why would we have to assign it a single word to begin with. When someone says 'sex is fun', no more than anything else being fun, they don't literally mean it's solely fun and absolutely no other emotion or sensation can be attributed to it.

Sex is fun. Sex is also more than just fun. Sometimes how you feel about sex and how it physically feels varies dependent on a load of factors, like most things in life. Both statements are right and neither are incorrect. Total non-thread. How did it get to 9 pages.

EmmetSpiceland

Woke Hogan wrote: »

That's "all" "it" "was" a lot of, "I presume."

What are you implying?

Elmer Blooker

JupiterKid wrote: »

I think this thread really shows the differences men and women have in thier approach to sex -

women take sex much more seriously than men and think describing the act as "fun" does it a great disservice, whereas men are much more likely to take a blase and casual attitute to sex. Its more of a sport/ intense recreational activity for them...

Women can have sex for a hundred and one reasons so they obviously take it very seriously!

andekwarhola

seenitall wrote: »

Sex is a way of communication, an expression of trust, a wonderful means to an intensity of oblivion.

This would be perfect as an annoying spoken bit on one of those preachy Madonna songs about sex. Like a lecture on riding from a boring hippy parent.

Moomoomacshoe

Love sex..definitely can be so much fun with the right person. As a woman it's difficult actually to find a man to just "have fun" with, believe it or not.

high_king

seenitall wrote: »

Sex is fun ? I've always heard this a lot, even used the expression myself, as interchangable with sex, but I don't think it has ever quite gelled with me ?

I find if you tickle them and make them laugh, you can get some extra inches in, and everyone likes a few extra inches.

BorneTobyWilde

Moomoomacshoe wrote: »

Love sex..definitely can be so much fun with the right person. As a woman it's difficult actually to find a man to just "have fun" with, believe it or not.

No I do not believe that. For a guy I'd believe that, not a girl.

Raconteuse

Plenty of women consider "fun" a suitable adjective. As this thread indicates, it's a matter of personal opinion.

Tammy!

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

No I do not believe that. For a guy I'd believe that, not a girl.

BS.

I'm married but before that, blokes are just as clingy as girls if not more so!

Most of those blokes who are whinging about women not wanting to have fun are whingers themselves!

Obviously people get into unrequited love scenarios but don't mistake what you hear from people and the real story. Alot of blokes I know would be harping on about some 'bunny boiler' but calling her up when it suited them.

skallywag

seenitall wrote: »

...(No PMs please. Don't even.)

As weird as this thread is, that last sentence has me thinking WTF ....

Sottol

Moomoomacshoe wrote: »

Love sex..definitely can be so much fun with the right person. As a woman it's difficult actually to find a man to just "have fun" with, believe it or not.

Totally agree with this.... I find sex fun, lots of fun, but as you say it is difficult to find a guy just to have fun with

BorneTobyWilde

Sottol wrote: »

Totally agree with this.... I find sex fun, lots of fun, but as you say it is difficult to find a guy just to have fun with

charlie14

Bigdig69 wrote: »

As a straight man who has a quite a record, some of which included VERY foolish choices, I agree 100% with the OPs sentiments.

From reading your post I imagine you were very tempted to substitute the last g for ck in your user name.

Ubbquittious

Think of all the drama that could be avoided if sex was perceived by everyone as just a bit of craic. Life would be so much simpler.

ILoveYourVibes

Men who say they are 'fun' are usually ****ing nightmares.

Just keep a few friends you know well around op.