Adopted an Older Dog - Separation Anxiety

charlietheminxx

I have to post about this because the guilt is crushing me and I can think of little else.

I've adopted a beautiful old dog who has the sweetest nature. She is not typically a dog with separation anxiety but seems to be having a bad time of it while we are getting her settled. We've created several safe areas for her in the house, allowed her to commandeer a blanket that she decided was hers on day one and she has free run of downstairs. She loves the house, has bonded with us very quickly, happy to just potter around at our feet or lie nearby and relax, or nap on the sofa if she can still see or hear us.

She's having a hard time settling down at bedtime, she's scared to be without us. Things were a bit better last night, we set her blanket up outside the bedroom door and used a baby gate so she could see we were still there, but there were still a few whimpers/whines at times she woke up during the night. I brought her for a quick walk around the block in the early hours of this morning because she seemed particularly distressed and she settled back down well after that.

The problem is that we are both in work this morning. She is only on her own for 4 hours and has loads of things to keep her busy, but I'm so worried that she's going to be distressed the whole time. I tried rescue remedy yesterday, and I've also left her with a squeaky ball (which she loves and is a "high value" item), a frozen treat Kong, and a puzzle tray, with some of her food hidden in it.

Is there anything more we should be doing for her? She's getting lots of exercise, plenty of attention, lots of playtime and practice of new skills (she's a clever girl and we are trying to keep her mind active). We aren't making a fuss when we leave or return. Just can't stop worrying about her. Is this normal with adopting an older dog? I've only ever had younger ones which settled fairly quickly. She has had a bit of a rough go and a previous failed adoption, we just want to do everything we can to make her feel safe and happy.

sillysmiles

You don't say how long you have her.
Personally I'd let her sleep in your room for the first while until she settles and feels safe and then move her out towards the door gradually. Our fella sleeps on his bed in our room every night. Some nights he whimpers and makes noises - but he is dreaming not distressed.
Personally I wouldn't be taking her for a walk during the night.

It sounds like you have all bases covered - she'll just need time.

charlietheminxx

sillysmiles wrote: »

You don't say how long you have her.
Personally I'd let her sleep in your room for the first while until she settles and feels safe and then move her out towards the door gradually. Our fella sleeps on his bed in our room every night. Some nights he whimpers and makes noises - but he is dreaming not distressed.
Personally I wouldn't be taking her for a walk during the night.

It sounds like you have all bases covered - she'll just need time.

Thanks so much for your response.

It's only 3 days so we are very early on I know. Realistically I'm just fretting because this is the longest she's been alone, but we are hopeful over the next couple of weeks she will get into a routine and be happy out. She was allowed one night in the bedroom, I'm a really light sleeper and she snores like a chainsaw, also she seems to be a bit afraid of the dark so on the landing with the light on seemed like a good compromise. Maybe it was a bit soon to move her out of the bedroom. She was definitely distressed at about 4am, nervous grooming and whining, she was wide awake. I thought she might need the loo, so that's why I brought her out (she will not go into the back garden at night, she has old scars on her legs that make us think that at some point she was being left outside on concrete at night).

I think I'm just worried because she is loveliest dog and deserves all the happiness in the world, I just want to make sure I'm doing everything I can for her.

charlietheminxx

Update: When I came home for lunch, she was happy out. Chilling on the sofa, cuddling my skechers, not a peep out of her. She got a walk a and some playing with and some food and now I'm back to work for the afternoon, but feeling much more relaxed. She's happy, that's all that matters

sasco

Glad to hear she was fine while you were gone. 3 days is very early days and it sounds like she is settling in well already which is great. Took our girl much longer to be left but she was a young dog when we got her and had been in rescue.

tk123

My advice is to ignore anyone who tells you that not making a fuss, giving a stuffed kong and walk before you leave her will solve all your problems - as this seems to be the go-to advice when somebody hasn't ever dealt with anxiety!

You just need to build up the time that she's comfortable being alone - at her pace. But really it's only been 3 days so I'd just give her time to settle in? If you have a webcam / spare laptop / iPad etc you could FaceTime or Skype and check in on her during the day. I'd maybe leave a tshirt, hoodie etc that you've worn for her to cuddle with too.

Where are our pics

charlietheminxx

tk123 wrote: »

My advice is to ignore anyone who tells you that not making a fuss, giving a stuffed kong and walk before you leave her will solve all your problems - as this seems to be the go-to advice when somebody hasn't ever dealt with anxiety!

You just need to build up the time that she's comfortable being alone - at her pace. But really it's only been 3 days so I'd just give her time to settle in? If you have a webcam / spare laptop / iPad etc you could FaceTime or Skype and check in on her during the day. I'd maybe leave a tshirt, hoodie etc that you've worn for her to cuddle with too.

Where are our pics

Thanks for the advice, she's an absolute star so I was just feeling all uneasy this morning, worrying she'd be distressed. She has some skin problems and I was afraid she'd nervously over-groom and hurt herself. In reality, when I opened the door, she didn't make a peep! Was very happy to see the harness though so hopefully now she knows that whenever I'm gone, she'll get walkies when I'm back.

I have given her a t-shirt I've slept in but she doesn't like it as much as the very soft blanket she appropriated on day 1 We have an echo show in the kitchen that I might be able to use to say hello to her, but I wasn't sure if it would confuse her more! I'll upload some pics of her later Thanks for the advice, I feel better just for talking about it and knowing I'm not being a terrible adopter!

aonb

Hi OP, I felt so sorry for you reading your post - being a softie when it comes to your pets is the hardest thing - THRILLED for you that your new dog is hopefully settling. Really, when you think about it, if shes had a tough start, and a failed adoption already, shes BOUND to take time to settle, shes BOUND to be stressed and nervous - not knowing whats happening, if your house is her permanent home or just a temporary one... . 3 days is nothing. If shes home alone for only approx 4 hours on her own, and gets a walk when you come home, shes hopefully snooze for the time you are out. My animals seem to sleep practically ALL day, so 4 hours is a cat-nap! I always leave a radio on when I go out - on a talk channel - so that the house isnt deafeningly quiet.When I leave, I also give my stressy dog a dried/dehydrated chicken or duck strip (100% meat) which is so high value to him, he practically pushes me out the door for it!!
Wishing you and your new dog the very happiest of times ahead

Photos too please!

Stheno

I'd a very anxious lurcher years ago when I had several dogs who suffered from separation anxiety at night and during the day.

We discovered a ticking clock wrapped in a couple of sweaty shirts in her bed along with a nightlight and the radio on low worked wonders to help her sleep.

During the day I can't help with I'm afraid the other dos helped with that tbh

charlietheminxx

Thanks so much for all your lovely advice. What I thought was hilarious was when I came back in again, she had added her harness, lead and poo bags to my shoes on the sofa! I did say she was a clever girl

Here’s some photos as promised! She’s a bit of a chubby grub at the moment (was previously overfed) but her weight has been coming down slowly and surely.

First photo is at the rescue, the rest are at home with us. One is a bit blurry but I thought you’d all like to see that staffie mix smile in action she’s been full of play this evening, and is now conked our snoring on me.

Edit: most of them uploaded sideways but hopefully you get a good picture of why I’m so besotted with her!

aonb

Shes a beauty - the expression in her eyes!
Staffies are the best
So funny to think of her getting her things organised - leash, harness AND poo-bags - and putting them with your shoes - thats kind of epic intelligence

charlietheminxx

We can’t figure out what she’s mixed with but she’s definitely a clever girl so gentle as well, pure staffie manners, she’s very careful taking food from us and an absolute dream on the lead.

I think we only worry so much because we are just crazy about her, we want to give her the best home we can with whatever she needs to be happy. I feel a lot better after seeing how she did today.

sasco

She is gorgeous and obviously super clever. She's a lucky dog to have found you. To be able to leave her for 4 hours already and her not do anything destructive is great going. I second leaving a radio or tv on for her.



Our girl has skin issues. She is grain-free and we rub coconut oil on her belly which she absolutely loves. We also have to be careful about her bedding so despite her absolutely loving soft blankets we have to restrict which ones we put on the couch as she reacts to some of the softer ones. We have 100% cotton covers on her beds.

charlietheminxx

Last night went much smoother, she woke up and was whining a bit at 2am (it was a windy night and I'd say something noisy on the adjacent building site woke her, I heard a couple of rattles myself) but my partner soothed her and tucked her into her blanket and she slept right through after that.

We have newstalk on in the kitchen all day for her. She didn't seem at all as bothered to see us leaving this morning, she was back on the sofa with the squeaky ball before we were even out of the driveway.

She's on prescription food for her weight at the moment (given to us by the rehoming centre) but she isn't very keen on it unless you hand feed it to her - I know, I'm the bigger sap for doing it! I mixed in some Red Mills Slimline yesterday and she was much happier with them, ate everything in her bowl straight away. We are weighing all her food and the only extra she gets is a tiny bit of peanut butter which I use to seal some of her dry food into a kong before I freeze it. I'm going to take her to our vet this week to get some advice on food and managing her skin. I hope she isn't allergic to her beloved blanket :eek: I've just checked online and its polyester. I hadn't even thought of that.

She only has one piece of bad skin at the moment, on her back leg, and we were given Isaderm gel for that which we are applying twice a day. Once she's healed up, I may try the coconut oil as some sort of barrier, she loves belly rubs, just rubs in general really, she doesn't even flinch when we do her leg.

I realise how much of a crazy dog lady I sound on this thread Thanks for all your support and advice, this has really helped me relax about it all.

charlietheminxx

This was the sleepy girl this morning The purple threads are from a knot toy, in case anyone is wondering

We will be getting her a nice new collar and harness soon, just waiting to get her weight down a bit more as she is kind of between sizes.

sillysmiles

I love that she sleeps tucked in!

bubbles o hara

OP, I'm not here to offer advice (you don't seem to need it ), but after seeing some horrific stories online about animal abuse in recent days, reading about your new girl and the loving home she's landed in was exactly what I needed. God bless you for rescuing her, and bless your loving heart.

Thanks for the photos, she's a doll.

charlietheminxx

bubbles o hara wrote: »

OP, I'm not here to offer advice (you don't seem to need it ), but after seeing some horrific stories online about animal abuse in recent days, reading about your new girl and the loving home she's landed in was exactly what I needed. God bless you for rescuing her, and bless your loving heart.

Thanks for the photos, she's a doll.

Aww thank you so much!

I've seen a lot online the past while myself, it would break your heart. Sometimes when I'm cuddling my girl, I wonder about how she coped at the pound (before the rescue/rehoming centre took her in). I worry about all the other funny affectionate dogs in the pound that deserve a second chance too.

Vet visit went well, she was on her best behaviour and trying to befriend the vet the whole time we were there. Her skin condition may actually be a stress response apparently. We've been given antibiotics as her worst dermatitis patch was inflamed, but overall the vet seemed happy she's doing well, getting her weight down is the main focus now so she can be spayed. Still not sleeping through the night but I'm really hoping we get there soon!

aonb

With the horrible weather, hard to get long walks and exercise in OP, but worth considering bulking out her diet a bit with some vegetables maybe, or looking into other options for diet foods. When shes new and you are bonding its hard not to give treats. Maybe visit your local butcher, and get some nice raw bones - lots of entertainment in a good bone. How much weight does she need to loose??

Hope she continues to settle so well - lucky girl to find such a super new bome

frillyleaf

She’s a beautiful dog! Did you keep the same name or change it when you got her?! I’m always curious if people change or keep names!! what a lucky girl to have been adopted by such a loving family.

It would be good to start building her confidence when she is ready by getting her used to being happy on her own when you are there, ie in the next room and gradually building it up over time. Leaving a stuffed kong or puzzle toy to build positive associations even when you are home and in separate room could help her, eventually she could see you as going as a positive thing.

But it’s very early days to start that I my opinion....she’s probably just out of sorts and trying to adjust to a new environment which could be challenging for her especially if she’s been where she was originally, then to the pound, rehoming centre and now a new home.


It sounds like you are doing everything possible to help her, best of luck with her

charlietheminxx

Sorry for the late replies, I thought I had posted last week!

aonb wrote: »

With the horrible weather, hard to get long walks and exercise in OP, but worth considering bulking out her diet a bit with some vegetables maybe, or looking into other options for diet foods. When shes new and you are bonding its hard not to give treats. Maybe visit your local butcher, and get some nice raw bones - lots of entertainment in a good bone. How much weight does she need to loose??

Hope she continues to settle so well - lucky girl to find such a super new bome

We usually do lots of shorter walks with her - she gets 25 minutes in the morning, 10-15 minutes around the block at lunch, 25 minutes after work and 10-15 minutes before bed. If it's raining for the bed time one, she will dig the heels in and refuse to go She doesn't mind the rain, until she is in cosy mode.

Our vet had said to make sure we learn her tolerances, especially given her age, so we have been wary not to take her too far on walks yet (longest has been about 45 minutes) but she doesn't seem to get tired while we are out at all! She can throw a bit of a strop when we come across other dogs so we are trying to work on that with her.

We were advised that she can't have anything like bones for the moment, it's a shame because she LOVES a good chew. She was 29.9kg when she went into the pound, 26.1kg at her last rehoming centre check and 25.5kg when we weighed her at the vets. Between 22-23kg is apparently ideal for her size, but the vet said he would be happy with even 24kg at her age. We will see how we go.

frillyleaf wrote: »

She’s a beautiful dog! Did you keep the same name or change it when you got her?! I’m always curious if people change or keep names!! what a lucky girl to have been adopted by such a loving family.

It would be good to start building her confidence when she is ready by getting her used to being happy on her own when you are there, ie in the next room and gradually building it up over time. Leaving a stuffed kong or puzzle toy to build positive associations even when you are home and in separate room could help her, eventually she could see you as going as a positive thing.

But it’s very early days to start that I my opinion....she’s probably just out of sorts and trying to adjust to a new environment which could be challenging for her especially if she’s been where she was originally, then to the pound, rehoming centre and now a new home.


It sounds like you are doing everything possible to help her, best of luck with her

We kept the name, didn't feel right to change it on a lady of her age!

She is absolutely fine when we leave the house now, still not keen to see us go but settles onto the sofa when we are reversing out.

In lots of ways she has become SO much more confident. She now instigates play time with us, likes us to chase her while she runs away with her toy and she bounces all over the place. She has more energy and her fur is feeling softer. We haven't had her weighed for a couple of weeks but you can see her shaping up.

She was scared to go into the back garden but will now come out if we are there. We only go out to throw her toy around with her, so she seems to be starting to understand that the garden is a fun place and she won't be left alone out there.

She has also started to bark if one of us comes home and fiddles with the door when the blinds are down (i.e. if she can't see us coming). She visibly sags with relief when she sees it's just me and happily smothers me with love. She only started this on Saturday, so I think it was around the time she figured out that she is in her forever home and wants to protect it.

Her main issue seems to be people going behind closed doors - she panics. She doesn't always follow us room to room, but if she decides to and finds the door where we went closed, she gets very distressed. She has only had 2 accidents since we brought her home, and this was the trigger both times. We are hoping this will improve with time. She's come on leaps and bounds in 2 and a half weeks, so we just need to be patient.

charlietheminxx

I could use some food advice if anyone can help with this - the vet said she doesn't need to be on prescription obesity food now as she has less than 10% of her weight to lose. We are giving her a mix of Naturo and Red Mills Leader Slimline, but I've done some research and see that the Red Mills stuff isn't great nutritionally. Anyone any recommendations?

sillysmiles

https://www.zooplus.ie/shop/dogs/dry_dog_food/markus_muehle/naturnah/128238?gclid=CjwKCAiAws7uBRAkEiwAMlbZjruw-EqHac05Ez__i9npEZXv5_xlNVQtV9q3SX8pu_zyJlV-2FR0ihoChWsQAvD_BwE

This is what I use on our lab and he seems to be doing well, always looks shiny!

SmartinMartin

Fish oils are great for their coat and skin. Our 2 get this, improved their health instantly and nice neat poos too!

https://dogfooddirect.ie/modules/shop/products/champion-premium-grain-free-salmon-and-potato-15kg/

charlietheminxx

Thanks for the recommendations!

mymo

charlietheminxx wrote: »

I could use some food advice if anyone can help with this - the vet said she doesn't need to be on prescription obesity food now as she has less than 10% of her weight to lose. We are giving her a mix of Naturo and Red Mills Leader Slimline, but I've done some research and see that the Red Mills stuff isn't great nutritionally. Anyone any recommendations?

I was advised by vet to give mine some veggies in with their food, helps with weight loss as it bulks up food, and fibre helps with any anal gland issues or lack of fibre (soft poos). Works great, my youngest is a pig and on a diet.
I feed lukullus or markus muhle black Angus, dry and rocco wet from zooplus, all grain free, you don't need much either, so works out quite reasonable.
For kong stuffing I used left over veggies mashed or wet food, with dry mixed in, then freeze.
Have a look on zooplus, I've a boy with allergies and there's a few single meat source food which you can try, as well as grain free, to see what suits best.
Just check ingredients, with my boy i found it was chicken, and poultry fat is often added as oils on lable to increase protein. Took a bit of messing about to find that out, he's also on grain free, lactose free, and no potato allowed. All found through trial and error, he can eat oats and rice though, thankfully the 2 girls have stomachs of steel.
Best of luck, she's gorgeous.

puppieperson1

Hi OP lovely dog well done you wont regret adopting her and she sounds like a character about her skin issue if you have an aloe vera plant and break of a piece and rub the jelly on her skin it is great for healing and hair re growth . ~I had an accident with my lurcher recently 15 stitches and his hair all shaved off the healing from the aloe vera was remarkable and natural ! Enjoy your doggie.

charlietheminxx

Hadn’t thought of aloe vera! I must give it a go. We’ve gone for grain free foods for her in case that’s a factor. Everything has cleared up except that one patch which was infected. It looks a lot better but still isn’t right. I must get a plant.

We’re just past the 4 week mark with her and she’s doing amazingly well! Only half a kilo overweight now