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Ex reported me to Garda - complete bolt out of the blue

2»

Comments

  • #52
    punisher5112
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,633 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    Under no circumstances should the OP go near the Garda station, he should cease all contact with this woman and draw a line under everything

    I think he has been deported


  • #53
    Confused dad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 48 ✭Confused dad


    She should have blocked you straight away if she felt threatened.Did she do this? Did she ask you you to stop contacting her? If the answer is yes, then you shouldn't have contacted her or responded.

    If not, and you have nothing to hide or have not been harassing/threatening her etc., present at the garda station or have them come to you to take a statement. If they are taking the complaint seriously you should take action immediately to ensure this does not go any further, ie: co-operate with the gardai.

    If you haven't been behaving in such a way that could be deemed threatening then there will be no evidence of such behaviour and you will be in the clear. Dont ignore it either way.

    Good luck


  • #54
    zapper55
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 689 ✭✭✭zapper55


    It's very naive to suggest that just because she hasnt blocked him that she doesnt mind the contact. No responses is a strong indicator firstly. And secondly like many other women including myself maybe she's learnt that ignoring the behaviour is preferable to blocking him as it can result in an escalation in other social media formats.


  • #55
    Confused dad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 48 ✭Confused dad


    zapper55 wrote: »
    It's very naive to suggest that just because she hasnt blocked him that she doesnt mind the contact. No responses is a strong indicator firstly. And secondly like many other women including myself maybe she's learnt that ignoring the behaviour is preferable to blocking him as it can result in an escalation in other social media formats.

    Which is why I followed up with, if he hasn't been behaving in a pestering/threatening/harassing manner he shouldn't have anything to worry about. Either way, he should cooperate with the gardai and prevent the matter escalating any further.


  • #56
    qwerty13
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    Confused dad wrote: »
    She should have blocked you straight away if she felt threatened.Did she do this? Did she ask you you to stop contacting her? If the answer is yes, then you shouldn't have contacted her or responded.

    It’s this way of thinking that has the OP in the position he’s in. And, while I realise the contact at least started off on the lower(ish) end of pestering his ex, WHY is it on her to correct his behaviour of inserting himself into her life via her family and social media? Surely as a functioning adult, the penny should have dropped when he got repeated no response. But no, he kept going and going.

    Who knows why she wasn’t explicit in telling him to stop. Past experience in general / past experience with the OP / anxiety / hoping he’d eventually cop on. This is not her fault, and to reinforce the OP’s view that his behaviour is all fine as she didn’t come down hard on him is ridiculous. Then to make matters worse, he decided to publicly make not so veiled threats. The OP’s behaviour is not ok, and even if he isn’t charged with anything, he needs to learn that this type of clearly unwanted contact is not something that he should keep going with - or have an absolute strop and make very public very nasty and quite threatening remarks.

    The only thing I’d be wishing the OP luck with is that he suddenly unearths a large dose of cop-on.


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