My friend's long term girlfriend aborted their child without consulting him first.

El_Duderino 09

JizzBeans wrote: »

Is this what Ireland voted for?

Well, yes. There was no clause in the vote that anyone except the woman need to to consent to the abortion. So I don't like it, and I'd empathise with the imaginary bloke in your hypothetical, but yes, it's the woman's choice.

Arghus

Yeah, the OP is a load of old nonsense.

You couldn't resist that last sentence; you would have probably got the usual suspects frothing at the mouth otherwise.

Raconteuse

Edgware wrote: »

Of course because women have a natural maternal instinct and would never do that

Well yes, most do have a natural maternal instinct.

Junkyard Tom

Go back to space Alien boy.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

I don’t think this thread made the splash the OP hoped for.

IAMAMORON

It is her body. That is all.

wiggle16

anndub wrote: »

Women are evil, selfish, cruel monsters who should never be trusted.

That's the gist of this work of fiction, right?

You forgot "ravenous" and "blood-sucking". Let's be fair to the OP.

JizzBeans

JizzBeans wrote: »

He is gutted and I am appalled that she or any woman would have an abortion without at least consulting the father. My friend is devastated but his partner seems completely unapologetic and appears to have the attitude that it's "none of his business" and "It was my decision to make"

Although there is little reason to trust your story as true it seems - it is possible to answer the general question you raise in a more general sense - as from a relationship perspective she is entirely right and possibly wrong at the same time here.

You see it is her decision to make. Simple as. That is just the facts of it. Here she is entirely in the right.

However when we enter a relationship we do so with expectations and moral rules of our own in that relationship. So while she is entirely right that it was her decision to make - she might _also_ have been in breach of the terms of her relationship with her partner. In which case he is _also_ entirely justified to be upset and/or end the relationship.

Other than the fact that it is her business if she aborts or not - there is no other set in stone moral rights or wrongs here. It comes down to their relationship and the agreements and expectations and boundaries they have between themselves.

JizzBeans wrote: »

Is this what Ireland voted for?

We voted for a change in our constitution. Nothing more. And we made the entirely right decision.

What individual people do with the new situation is entirely different. So no this is not what we voted for. It has absolutely nothing to do with what we voted for or were asked to vote upon. I fear you are attempting a guilt by association move to try and link granular actions you personally disapprove of to a decision we as a country made quite correctly - and you failed to create an argument against.

Your link is as nonsense as if we voted to allow recreational drugs then I decide to gouge your eyes out with a lump of hash I just legally bought and you saying "is this what we voted for???". If I choose to do something morally questionable under a just law change - that is on me - not on the law change or the people who elected to enact it.

Pauliedragon

JizzBeans wrote: »

My friend and his partner were trying for a child for several months, he has a low sperm count but they continued trying before committing to expensive and time consuming IVF treatment. Fortunately they were successful.


My friend was over the moon and ecstatic that he was going to be a dad because he thought they wouldn't make it. In addition to the wonderful news, his partner was offered a hard earned promotion at work in the weeks following.



I was out with him the other night and I noticed he was unsettled, like something was on his mind but wouldn't really talk about it . After a few drinks he became visibly upset and explained that his partner decided to have an abortion and only told him about it after the event and never consulted him beforehand.


Her reasoning was that since she was offered the new job, she didn't want to go on maternity leave so soon. She was subject to one years probation and was "scared that her maternity leave and pregnancy would jeopardise her probation".


He is gutted and I am appalled that she or any woman would have an abortion without at least consulting the father. My friend is devastated but his partner seems completely unapologetic and appears to have the attitude that it's "none of his business" and "It was my decision to make"



They were living together for 4 years, renting an apartment. He has moved out after a massive row and I have offered him to stay in my house.


Is this what Ireland voted for?

Ireland as a country voted to legalise abortion. Whether you agree with that decision is entirely up to you but we live in a democracy. Your friend will just have to deal with it.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I don’t think this thread made the splash the OP hoped for.

Indeed, an attention-seeking cretin looking for some cheap form of validation. Almost makes me hopeful for KikiLaRue3.

Jonybgud

IAMAMORON wrote: »

It is her body. That is all.

A fictional body isn't anyones. That is all.

Airyfairy12

I dont believe your post as its still incredibly difficult for women to get abortions in Ireland, allot of hospitals dont offer the service and allot of hospitals wont even offer it to women unless her health is at risk. Theres still very little information available to women on access to abortion and there are still hundreds of women going to England for abortions.

Also, if she was that desperate for a baby I doubt she would go and have an abortion because she doesnt want to take maternity leave so early on. There are laws to prevent employers from breaking contracts with women because they get pregnant.

Silly post.

Jizzbeans :rolleyes: blew his load

Paddy Cow

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Awful smell of bull wafting off that post.

I wouldn't be so sure. I know a woman (living in the UK) who got pregnant at 24. She was over the moon but her partner felt like he wasn't ready so she had an abortion. She got pregnant again in her 30's and this time her husband was ecstatic and couldn't wait to be a father. The woman went and had an abortion and told her husband afterwards because she wanted him to feel the same pain and hurt that she felt the first time. So yes, women can be cruel. The woman is now in her 40's with no children, despite always wanting them and I think she and her husband split up. I'm not sure because our friendship drifted.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I wouldn't be so sure. I know a woman (living in the UK) who got pregnant at 24. She was over the moon but her partner felt like he wasn't ready so she had an abortion. She got pregnant again in her 30's and this time her husband was ecstatic and couldn't wait to be a father. The woman went and had an abortion and told her husband afterwards because she wanted him to feel the same pain and hurt that she felt the first time. So yes, women can be cruel. The woman is now in her 40's with no children, despite always wanting them and I think she and her husband split up. I'm not sure because our friendship drifted.

Sounds like a toxic relationship. Good thing children weren’t brought into such a crappy situation.

Fr Tod Umptious

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Ireland as a country voted to legalise abortion. Whether you agree with that decision is entirely up to you but we live in a democracy. Your friend will just have to deal with it.

No we didn't
We voted to remove the ban on abortion from our constitution.

Any government in the future can decide to in act legislation to make abortion illegal.

beejee

These days, you're as morally free to do anything as you like.

Man wants child, woman doesn't and she's pregnant? Who gives a crap what happens, neither are responsible to each other at all. Shouldn't be together, drop them like a hot rock and forget it all instantly. No harm to yourself, no responsibility, no foul.

Ditto for all other combinations of such a situation.

You want freedom, you got it. Enjoy

saabsaab

He should get out of that relationship on a separate note i don't think this is what people in ireland voted for.


As for not believing the post how can anyone be sure one waty or another of any post?

Paddy Cow

saabsaab wrote: »

He should get out of that relationship on a separate note i don't think this is what people in ireland voted for.


As for not believing the post how can anyone be sure one waty or another of any post?

If the post is true, then what she did was unforgivable.

Church on Tuesday

Johnny Sausage wrote: »

What subjects did you pick for your leaving OP,

How is 5th year treating you?

Not great by the look of things.

Ash.J.Williams

Paddy Cow wrote: »

If the post is true, then what she did was unforgivable.

It’s not though

Paddy Cow

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

It’s not though

Are you saying it's not true or not forgivable?

Plumbthedepths

It's amazing that some here actually think the OP is genuine.

Paddy Cow

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

It's amazing that some here actually think the OP is genuine.

What if he is? Lets say his op is real. What would your reaction be?

Relax The Cax

IAMAMORON wrote: »

It is her body. That is all.

Flawless lady logic.

" It's my body, I think I'll have an abortion "

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

It's amazing that some here actually think the OP is genuine.

Not many are buying it, in fairness. The thread would have taken off if the OP was believed.

ILoveYourVibes

JizzBeans wrote: »

Before committing to IVF....please read post before commenting

Firstly. I doubt your friend really let you know all the details of their relationship. Friends never do.


There maybe financial issues he wasn't comfortable talking of ..or it was a very toxic relationship and he didn't want people to know.

This is the version he has given you. I doubt its the whole truth.

Maybe he wasn't the best partner. Maybe she thought this relationship is so bad i can't bring a kid into it at the last minute.

Maybe he is a terrible person.

I actually DO think the op is genuine. I doubt his friend is though.

Maybe she kicked him out and he made up this story.

If he is an angel and totally innocent and she purposely got pregnant then decided no...that is very sad ..it was very unthinking of her.

She should have thought through getting pregnant much more.

ILoveYourVibes

My ex once told my then PRESENT boyfriend i was pregnant with my exes kid.

I have never been pregnant.

But he was convincing. As to why the bump never showed and no baby ever came ....he left that open to the imagination.

For ages my THEN present bf was convinced something had happened.

Men can do some crazy ****.

Weirdly i am still friends with both of them...because i am nuts!

Jmsg

If an unmarried woman is entitled to abort a baby without the fathers consent then fair enough, but then an unmarried man should never be obligated to play child support

Plumbthedepths

Paddy Cow wrote: »

What if he is? Lets say his op is real. What would your reaction be?

He's not, and no couple would go through IVF just to abort . Reason why it is illegal to discriminate against a pregnant woman.
It's a thinly veiled troll post which you have risen to.

That is the most obvious bait I've seen on here in ages. What sort of sad wanker do you have to be coming online making up stories.

AulWan

JizzBeans wrote: »

My friend and his partner were trying for a child for several months, he has a low sperm count but they continued trying before committing to expensive and time consuming IVF treatment.

Very odd altogether, given that most doctors will advise a couple to keep trying for at least a year, before they start looking at why they're having no success.

And then, there are other less invasive options that are usually tried before IVF.

So, jumping straight to IVF after several months? :rolleyes:

ILoveYourVibes

Jmsg wrote: »

If an unmarried woman is entitled to abort a baby without the fathers consent then fair enough, but then an unmarried man should never be obligated to play child support

Life is unfair.

ILoveYourVibes

AulWan

Jmsg wrote: »

If an unmarried woman is entitled to abort a baby without the fathers consent then fair enough, but then an unmarried man should never be obligated to play child support

If you choose to have sex with a woman you do so with the full knowledge that there is always a chance that she could conceive a child you do not want to pay for, so if you're not willing to take that chance, then put it back in your pants.

It's your choice.

kowloon

super_furry wrote: »

I voted for Girls Aloud.

You absolute fcuking monster!

ILoveYourVibes

AulWan wrote: »

If you choose to have sex with a woman you do so with the full knowledge that there is always a chance that she could conceive a child you do not want to pay for, so if you're not willing to take that chance, then put it back in your pants.

It's your choice.

or ...condoms!

Lads sometimes its not even malicious intent ....if on the pill the nicest woman can forget ...or ingest something that counteracts it ...

Did you know IBS and digestive disorders can make the pill ineffective??

Eating lісоrісе, уаm, soy, flax seed and dаіrу can affect the pill.

The temperature of where it is stored can affect the pill

certain meds

AulWan

AulWan wrote: »

If you choose to have sex with a woman you do so with the full knowledge that there is always a chance that she could conceive a child you do not want to pay for, so if you're not willing to take that chance, then put it back in your pants.

It's your choice.

If you choose to have sex with a man you do so with the full knowledge that there is always a chance that you could conceive a child you do not want, so if you're not willing to take that chance, then keep them out of your pants.

It's your choice.


Did you intend on making an anti-abortion argument?

AulWan

Deleted User wrote: »

If you choose to have sex with a man you do so with the full knowledge that there is always a chance that you could conceive a child you do not want, so if you're not willing to take that chance, then keep them out of your pants.

It's your choice.


Did you intend on making an anti-abortion argument?

Not at all. I have no issue with any woman choosing to have an abortion.

I've heard the same tired old excuse trotted out by men who want to have sex but don't always want to support the children they had a part in conceiving long before abortion was legalised here.

So lets just call it like it really is.

Biology and modern medicine gives women a chance to re-think their actions and possibly undo them, that men don't get, and that just really pisses some men off.

ILoveYourVibes

Originally Posted by Ads by Google View Post
If you choose to have sex with a man you do so with the full knowledge that there is always a chance that you could conceive a child you do not want, so if you're not willing to take that chance, then keep them out of your pants.

It's your choice.


Did you intend on making an anti-abortion argument?

Do you intend on strapping a woman to a bed for nine months and force feeding her against her will?

Always Tired

Y'all realize this is all made up by OP, right?

Jmsg

AulWan wrote: »

If you choose to have sex with a woman you do so with the full knowledge that there is always a chance that she could conceive a child you do not want to pay for, so if you're not willing to take that chance, then put it back in your pants.

It's your choice.

It's clearly the women who do the choosing in this matter. But women have literally zero responsibility in today's society.

ILoveYourVibes

Jmsg wrote: »

It's clearly the women who do the choosing in this matter. But women have literally zero responsibility in today's society.

We should stop pretending the sexes are equal ...women are far superior ...we should be worshipped.:P

You ...are SO not worthy.

ILoveYourVibes

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Do you intend on strapping a woman to a bed for nine months and force feeding her against her will?

Wtf does that even mean?

AulWan

Jmsg wrote: »

It's clearly the women who do the choosing in this matter. But women have literally zero responsibility in today's society.

Thanks for this post. I needed a good laugh.

Jmsg

AulWan wrote: »

Thanks for this post. I needed a good laugh.

In the state of nature men can impregnate and walk away. It's down to social custom ie that of marriage to prevent this from happening. In absence of this it is in actual fact the women's responsibility not to get inappropriately pregnant because she has all the bargaining power.

ILoveYourVibes

Jmsg wrote: »

In the state of nature men can impregnate and walk away.

You mean in a sims game you play?

ILoveYourVibes

Hey anyone ever play the million sims baby challenge!??

AulWan

Jmsg wrote: »

In absence of this it is in actual fact the women's responsibility not to get inappropriately pregnant because she has all the bargaining power.

Stop, enough, I'm getting a stitch.

:D:D

AulWan

I never said men automatically consent to, or commit themselves to raising a child by having sex.

I said they consent to having sex while knowing a conception could occur, and they would have no say in the decision a woman may make afterwards if it did.

If they choose to take a gamble and proceed at that point, then far as I'm concerned, they have no one but themselves to blame if they end up with a child to support.

It is what it is.

But don't worry your head too much about it. In truth, the only thing anyone has to do in this country to evade child maintenance is to tell the Judge they can't afford it, and if that fails, they can just ignore the court order. There will be no enforcement, and no consequences, either way.

(Note, interesting fact, the MAP has a failure rate of approx 30% and is not recommended for women over 70kgs).

ETA - for context, this was a response to a deleted post.