Sneaking rights

beejee

I sneak into your kitchen, say, without you knowing. You subsequently find me hiding under the table.

I think I should have the right to hang around for a few years. By all means, the gardai should be called and we can have a few nice chats, but I'm staying in your kitchen, maybe even indefinitely.

I reckon these sneaking rights should be rolled out across the country.

It's only fair, right and sensible, dontcha think?

Deebles McBeebles

Ten of Swords

I wonder if a certain news article concerning a boat prompted this thread?

Sorry about that

beejee wrote: »

I sneak into your kitchen, say, without you knowing. You subsequently find me hiding under the table.

I think I should have the right to hang around for a few years. By all means, the gardai should be called and we can have a few nice chats, but I'm staying in your kitchen, maybe even indefinitely.

I reckon these sneaking rights should be rolled out across the country.

It's only fair, right and sensible, dontcha think?

You're Pat Kenny aren't you? And no. And get off my lawn.

Bobblehats

Don’t wear them much myself. I like wimmin to know I’m coming

Agent Coulson

beejee wrote: »

I sneak into your kitchen, say, without you knowing. You subsequently find me hiding under the table.

I think I should have the right to hang around for a few years. By all means, the gardai should be called and we can have a few nice chats, but I'm staying in your kitchen, maybe even indefinitely.

I reckon these sneaking rights should be rolled out across the country.

It's only fair, right and sensible, dontcha think?

I think beating you to death with my hurl should be allowed if I find you have sneaked into my kitchen.

One eyed Jack

beejee wrote: »

It's only fair, right and sensible, dontcha think?

Fair to whom?

And there doesn’t seem to be anything right or sensible about it either. Is this an analogy for something else?

It would only be fair if I had the right to use your body for a draught excluder, make yourself useful at least!

Leg End Reject

You'll have to move from under the table, I'm about to mop the floor.

EmmetSpiceland

Leg End Reject wrote: »

You'll have to move from under the table, I'm about to mop the floor.

Yeah, I wouldn’t like him under the table but I guess I could lock him in a shack out back. Throw him a few greasy chicken nuggets.

Could lock a few others in there with him. Maybe make a few quid out of that.

Quantum Erasure

'...and he was wearing sneakers, for sneaking!'

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Thinly veiled immigrant thread? Have we not had enough?

1o059k7ewrqj3n

Well lads don't mind me just gonna sneak in here.....lay some eggs.....sure you know yourself.

Bobblehats

On the subject though. Is it scarier to hear footsteps prior to absolutely nothing or nothing prior to something?

Gremlinertia

Bobblehats wrote: »

On the subject though. Is it scarier to hear footsteps prior to absolutely nothing or nothing prior to something?

That deserves its own thread I think

Bobblehats

Gremlinertia wrote: »

That deserves its own thread I think

Jumped out of my skin the odd occasion myself when I realised someone was right up on my shoulder.

For nothing! Sneakers be sneaky yo

Auguste Comte

Nothing Tiny, my Rottie would like better than to come in from a good walk and find a new interactive chew toy in his favourite spot.

nthclare

This the lefties agenda again, looking for downright anarchy.

They think they can do whatever they like, walk all over us, tell us what we can or can't say.

Telling us that there's 47 genders, now they expect to be able to break into our home's without any consequences because it's their wights...

Lefty scum

Bobblehats

I should say poor thing! Why you taking refuge there

Richard Hillman

Where are you going to poo? I don't mind having a chat whilst i make my breakfast but I don't want to have to smell you too

Ten of Swords

Bobblehats wrote: »

On the subject though. Is it scarier to hear footsteps prior to absolutely nothing or nothing prior to something?

Footsteps getting louder then nothing at all, no contest :eek:

Yester

Thank you. Now I'm listening to Banks : Under the table.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-IscvfT5Mk

TheValeyard

Ten of Swords wrote: »

Footsteps getting louder then nothing at all, no contest :eek:

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
’Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Bobblehats

Ten of Swords wrote: »

Footsteps getting louder then nothing at all, no contest :eek:

But it could just be dirty hobnail boots after a long hard day. Or it could be a pair of killer stilletoes! One thing for sure it’s somebody, always somebody

AulWan

You're one of those bloody elfs that invade this time of year and keep moving around, aren't ya?

Get back in your box.

EmmetSpiceland

nthclare wrote: »

This the lefties agenda again, looking for downright anarchy.

They think they can do whatever they like, walk all over us, tell us what we can or can't say.

Telling us that there's 47 genders, now they expect to be able to break into our home's without any consequences because it's their wights...

Lefty scum

Settle down there, chief, it’s only Wednesday.

IAMAMORON

Very very random.

But you are welcome for sure.

beejee

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Very very random.

But you are welcome for sure.

I'll be wearing your slippers anytime I like. Anytime. And, brother, that's just the beginning

beejee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eBZqmL8ehg

ILoveYourVibes

Well after i find you ..where is the surprise?

I already know you are there.

The trick is to never let them surprise you and always surprise them.

I sneak under the table ...then leave ..never to be seen again.

Johnny Sausage

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Well after i find you ..where is the surprise?

I already know you are there.

The trick is to never let them surprise you and always surprise them.

I sneak under the table ...then leave ..never to be seen again.

They wouldnt hang around in your house long anyway

Youd have their head cabbaged

ILoveYourVibes

Johnny Sausage wrote: »

They wouldnt hang around in your house long anyway

Youd have their head cabbaged

Ha ..they wouldn't make it to my house. No one surprises me!

And yes i would mind warp them.

Bobblehats

beejee wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eBZqmL8ehg

Oh man I’d still like to pimp h- what?! No, no no no no.

Ted_YNWA

beejee wrote: »

I sneak into your kitchen, say, without you knowing. You subsequently find me hiding under the table.

I think I should have the right to hang around for a few years. By all means, the gardai should be called and we can have a few nice chats, but I'm staying in your kitchen, maybe even indefinitely.

I reckon these sneaking rights should be rolled out across the country.

It's only fair, right and sensible, dontcha think?

I'm already in your spare room.

You really should get a better wifi password.

beejee

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

I'm already in your spare room.

You really should get a better wifi password.

Passwords? Where we're going, you'll only need safewords.

ILoveYourVibes

Im behind you.

Ted_YNWA

beejee wrote: »

Passwords? Where we're going, you'll only need safewords.

I have a good skillset of skills that are hard to come by.

Pauliedragon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcSKd13mKUY

irish_goat

If OP is a cat it's pretty standard behaviour.

beejee

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Im behind you.

Yes, yes. Your belief of being in an advantageous position is misplaced perhaps, because you're actually exactlywhereiwantedyou! *rapid ninja/sexual manouevre*

ILoveYourVibes

beejee wrote: »

Yes, yes. Your belief of being in an advantageous position is misplaced perhaps, because you're actually exactlywhereiwantedyou! *rapid ninja/sexual manouevre*

I was expecting you to do that.

There is something i have to tell you ...i am not what i appear

I do folk ..dancing.

Ninthlife

beejee wrote: »

I sneak into your kitchen, say, without you knowing. You subsequently find me hiding under the table.

I think I should have the right to hang around for a few years. By all means, the gardai should be called and we can have a few nice chats, but I'm staying in your kitchen, maybe even indefinitely.

I reckon these sneaking rights should be rolled out across the country.

It's only fair, right and sensible, dontcha think?

You are assuming I have (a) A kitchen and (b) A table

So if i have neither of those and you are hiding under a table in a kitchen and Ive found you then whos house am I actually in??

saabsaab

What if I'm hiding under the table to escape the vicious gangsters in the next estate who are out to get me?

beejee

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I was expecting you to do that.

There is something i have to tell you ...i am not what i appear

I do folk ..dancing.

All quite expected, I'm afraid, for tat's the same moment when I remove my over-sized wristwatch, revealing the shocking truth that literally up-ends you on the spot.

ILoveYourVibes

saabsaab wrote: »

What if I'm hiding under the table to escape the vicious gangsters in the next estate who are out to get me?

That's just waiting to be sneaked up on under the table!

You have to outwit them!

But you know what its unexpected you never expect someone who breaks into your house to be an innocent hiding from the actual bad guys.....

Its like goldilocks ...only the bears are pissed off and followed her..

Still ..she is suspicious!

Sonny noggs

Kendrick Huge Sweater wrote: »

Thinly veiled immigrant thread? Have we not had enough?

Yes, we have had enough.

beejee

Ninthlife wrote: »

You are assuming I have (a) A kitchen and (b) A table

So if i have neither of those and you are hiding under a table in a kitchen and Ive found you then whos house am I actually in??

Having purchased the house with kitchen and table in your name 15 years previous, you recognise that retribution has finally come home. To your home.

"revenge is a dish best served cold" - old sneaker pimp proverb

ILoveYourVibes

beejee wrote: »

Having purchased the house with kitchen and table in your name 15 years previous, you recognise that retribution has finally come home. To your home.

"revenge is a dish best served cold" - old sneaker pimp proverb

That 2005 mortgage tho...noice

Ninthlife

beejee wrote: »

Having purchased the house with kitchen and table in your name 15 years previous, you recognise that retribution has finally come home. To your home.

"revenge is a dish best served cold" - old sneaker pimp proverb

What if i didnt exist 15 years,ago and have yet to be named.

Then under whos name was it purchased and who does that make me

Shady Grady

beejee wrote: »

I sneak into your kitchen, say, without you knowing. You subsequently find me hiding under the table.

I think I should have the right to hang around for a few years. By all means, the gardai should be called and we can have a few nice chats, but I'm staying in your kitchen, maybe even indefinitely.

I reckon these sneaking rights should be rolled out across the country.

It's only fair, right and sensible, dontcha think?

For one, I find you in my house, you ain't leaving in the same condition you entered. And for 2 I don't call the cops because their sense of justice is very different from mine, Plus I have a very big garden to hide you in.Ha!

Rubberchikken

god, why do i open these posts:(

ILoveYourVibes