Bullies never win????

screamer

It might be a heart warming message, and we might love to believe it, but in my experience bullies never lose because nothing can or will be done about them. School yard bullies are kids, and even when teenagers, there seems to be little if any reprimand for them. I know of countless kids who suffered awful bullying and despite numerous meetings with school teachers/ principles etc the end result was that those poor kids had to move schools in the hope of finding a kinder place, and the bullies free to pick out their next target. I dunno, this bullies never win, to me is a load of bull.

bullies often win

self proclaimed victims arent always angels either

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

One eyed Jack

screamer wrote: »

It might be a heart warming message, and we might love to believe it, but in my experience bullies never lose...

Yeah but when they’re a child, you want to give them hope, as opposed to kicking them while they’re down (metaphorically speaking :pac:) with a dose of reality!

Mic 1972

Stand up to bullies or stay away, dont expect "society" to resolve the issue

Faugheen

Mic 1972 wrote: »

Stand up to bullies or stay away, dont expect "society" to resolve the issue

Not with that attitude it won’t.

No surprise there’s a ‘deal with it’ tone coming out of this thread.

end of the road

Mic 1972 wrote: »

Stand up to bullies or stay away, dont expect "society" to resolve the issue

incorrect i am afraid.
society has a part to play by making bullying unexceptable, schools, work places etc have a duty to insure bullying is stamped down upon where and when it takes place within them.

Mic 1972

end of the road wrote: »

incorrect i am afraid.
society has a part to play by making bullying unexceptable, schools, work places etc have a duty to insure bullying is stamped down upon where and when it takes place within them.

You have a point but you need to be realistic too. Bullies always win because people let them. Dont wait for society to take care, teach your kids to defend themselves

Faugheen

Mic 1972 wrote: »

You have a point but you need to be realistic too. Bullies always win because people let them. Dont wait for society to take care, teach your kids to defend themselves

Or how about the adults responsible do something about it?

If you see someone being bullied. Call them out. Report it.

Bullies win because people like you sit on your hands and act like it’s none of your business.

This nonsense of ‘don’t wait for society’, do something about it then. The only person waiting for society is you.

Mic 1972

Faugheen wrote: »

Or how about the adults responsible do something about it?

If you see someone being bullied. Call them out. Report it.

Bullies win because people like you sit on your hands and act like it’s none of your business.

This nonsense of ‘don’t wait for society’, do something about it then. The only person waiting for society is you.

Ok, so someone is bulling you and you want me to do something about it, right... then you wonder why you get bullied? You need to take accountability too, bullies will pick their victims among those who appear unable to defend themselves

Faugheen

Mic 1972 wrote: »

Ok, so someone is bulling you and you want me to do something about it, right... then you wonder why you get bullied? You need to take accountability too, bullies will pick their victims among those who appear unable to defend themselves

I need to take accountability for being bullied?

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

You clearly see bullying or being bullied as some form of rite of passage so I’ll leave you in the stone ages.

Mic 1972

Faugheen wrote: »

I need to take accountability for being bullied?

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

You clearly see bullying or being bullied as some form of rite of passage so I’ll leave you in the stone ages.

good luck mate

SEPT 23 1989

Violence is the only solution to bullying

Mic 1972

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Violence is the only solution to bullying

That's a bit harsh but definitely people need to be assertive with dealing with bullies, it's not always about physical abuse.
People often can't defend themselves because they haven't learnt how to do it

SEPT 23 1989

Mic 1972 wrote: »

That's a bit harsh but definitely people need to be assertive with dealing with bullies, it's not always about physical abuse.
People often can't defend themselves because they haven't learnt how to do it

The only good outcomes I have heard when it comes to bullying is when the victim goes for the ring leader and it ends there and then

CollyFlower

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

The only good outcomes I have heard when it comes to bullying is when the victim goes for the ring leader and it ends there and then

Yep, I agree, that's the way to do it but the education system is not going to teach that to the kids.

Raconteuse

Nor is every kid able to retaliate physically.

Blind Eagle

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly wrote: »

Go on someone tell us... What's the joke here? I don't get it!

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Deleted User wrote: »

bullies often win

self proclaimed victims arent always angels either

Self-proclaimed victims? If somebody is being bullied, they’re a victim of bullying. Why tack on “self-proclaimed”? A bullying recipient doesn’t have to be perfect.

Strumms

Mic 1972 wrote: »

That's a bit harsh but definitely people need to be assertive with dealing with bullies, it's not always about physical abuse.
People often can't defend themselves because they haven't learnt how to do it

Yes, you need to fight fire with fire, the ONLY way. I found this to my cost in the past when I didn’t but have become since armed on the back of this experience.. true what you say Mic if you haven’t had experience of bullying when it happens you often don’t recognize it or know the best was to deal with it. One of my first reactions was... ‘šhit , he’s the supervisor, ok I must be doing something wrong. Not so, if it feels wrong it is. Never give a bully a centimeter.

dd973

There are bullies who pick and choose their quarry, these are the sort of cowardly **** referred to when they're classed as cowards, the types who kick down at school but give the lads properly regarded as 'hard' a wide berth, the types who cause anti-social behavior in packs but wouldn't do anything solo.

The workplace ones know full well that the victim is wearing the psychological handcuffs of being 'at work' which is why their actions work in such an insidious manner, if the victim complains or confronts them they become the topic of conversation at the workplace, not the tosser doing the bullying.

I don't know if it's done consciously or it's just a by-product of their natural personality but I'd feel very self-conscious about imposing my will on people so maybe they do have serious balls to do this stuff, in fact if I thought they were weaker than me in any way, I'd feel an absolute c**t doing something like that, I've also got a very egalitarian ethos in the sense that people should just regard each other as fellow mortal human beings regardless of 'status' or how they perceive themselves.

Mysterypunter

Blind Eagle wrote: »

Go on someone tell us... What's the joke here? I don't get it!

80's gameshow hosted by northern comic Jim Bowen, was called bullseye, look it up on YouTube, the mascot was called Bully

Tell me how

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

The only good outcomes I have heard when it comes to bullying is when the victim goes for the ring leader and it ends there and then

Not all bullying scenarios play out like a teenagers coming of age movie.

A lot of bullying is non-violent and yet much more damaging in terms of the damage to the bullied persons psyche.

I shudder to think how bad it is for some now with social media, group chats and anonymous accounts.

gozunda

Mic 1972 wrote: »

Stand up to bullies or stay away, dont expect "society" to resolve the issue

The very odd thing with that assumption is that actual physical assault in 18th-century was viewed by the authorities not as a breach of the peace or a crime against the person, but rather as a civil action between two parties in dispute. The onus on the person assaulted at that time was to take a private (non criminal) legal action against the perpetrators.

Imagine having to do that today...

I was bullied throughout primary and secondary education. In both cases, I received both physical and emotional abuse from others. I've been put in hospital five times due to the efforts of others (and their cliques) to show themselves superior. However, in many ways, the emotional bullying had a far greater effect on my development than the physical. That is not an attempt to lessen the effects of the physical.

I'm genuinely opposed to the modern approach to bullying which is to clamp down excessively on it. Bullying is simply part of life. It'll happen physically mostly as a child/teen, but both emotional and physical bullying are part of many aspects of life, especially if your profession is populated with a majority of your own gender. Mixed work environments tend to be "safer", although women are far more inclined to throw out emotional attacks than physical gestures.

Schools should be teaching students self-defense with Physical education designed to provide strength to their bodies for that purpose. Any idea that this would increase the severity of bullying fails to understand the reasons why bullying occurs. Schools should also be teaching students the advantages of meditation, and other forms of disciplines for emotional/state control.

Bullying is simply a fact of life. It's part of being human. I've done it myself without realising it, until someone pointed it out to me. The shame I felt was incredible... but only because of the bullying I'd received previously. Trying to remove bullying entirely, only weakens people for later life. I wouldn't be who I am now without the bullying I received. I could be better, but I genuinely doubt it.

Saying that though, if I was ever to meet some of my bullies now, I'd have no hesitation in taking a metal pipe to their kneecaps.

Strumms

dd973 wrote: »

There are bullies who pick and choose their quarry, these are the sort of cowardly **** referred to when they're classed as cowards, the types who kick down at school but give the lads properly regarded as 'hard' a wide berth, the types who cause anti-social behavior in packs but wouldn't do anything solo.

The workplace ones know full well that the victim is wearing the psychological handcuffs of being 'at work' which is why their actions work in such an insidious manner, if the victim complains or confronts them they become the topic of conversation at the workplace, not the tosser doing the bullying.

I don't know if it's done consciously or it's just a by-product of their natural personality but I'd feel very self-conscious about imposing my will on people so maybe they do have serious balls to do this stuff, in fact if I thought they were weaker than me in any way, I'd feel an absolute c**t doing something like that, I've also got a very egalitarian ethos in the sense that people should just regard each other as fellow mortal human beings regardless of 'status' or how they perceive themselves.

This... 100% ... the ‘psychological handcuffs ’ is a perfect description of how this behavior plays out.

ILoveYourVibes

Let them bully you only in front of everyone. Then fake cry. Then be really nice.

They will look like a giant jack ass. Every time they come into the room ...look terrified ...as if they just upset you by entering.

Make them look like the worst person on earth.



Tell them they wore you down. They made you feel like nothing. They were the worst student in school to you ..or the worst teacher ..boss etc.

He punches you ...GO DOWN ..HARD yelp ...

The workplace ones know full well that the victim is wearing the psychological handcuffs of being 'at work' which is why their actions work in such an insidious manner, if the victim complains or confronts them they become the topic of conversation at the workplace, not the tosser doing the bullying.

Don't complain....but suffer loudly...

Then after a while ...politely remind them of why they are trash not verbally though ...subtly. But verbally let them THINK they won.

gozunda

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Let them bully you only in front of everyone. Then fake cry. Then be really nice.

They will look like a giant jack ass. Every time they come into the room ...look terrified ...as if they just upset you by entering.

Make them look like the worst person on earth.



Tell them they wore you down. They made you feel like nothing. They were the worst student in school to you ..or the worst teacher ..boss etc.

He punches you ...GO DOWN ..HARD yelp ...



Don't complain....but suffer loudly...

Then after a while ...politely remind them of why they are trash not verbally though ...subtly. But verbally let them THINK they won.

I like bear traps myself ....

WrenBoy

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Let them bully you only in front of everyone. Then fake cry. Then be really nice.

They will look like a giant jack ass. Every time they come into the room ...look terrified ...as if they just upset you by entering.

Make them look like the worst person on earth.



Tell them they wore you down. They made you feel like nothing. They were the worst student in school to you ..or the worst teacher ..boss etc.

He punches you ...GO DOWN ..HARD yelp ...



Don't complain....but suffer loudly...

Then after a while ...politely remind them of why they are trash not verbally though ...subtly. But verbally let them THINK they won.

This is the wort advice I've ever heard, tell a young fella to start wailing when a bully enters the room and then be nice to the bully, so basically advertise that you are a victim and be an absolute doormat, then hope you get some pity ??

Tell me how

WrenBoy wrote: »

This is the wort advice I've ever heard, tell a young fella to start wailing when a bully enters the room and then be nice to the bully, so basically advertise that you are a victim and be an absolute doormat, then hope you get some pity ??

I wrote a similar response last night and but decided not to post it.

It's incredibly poor advice. Like some instruction you would give an actor in how to play the part of being bullied rather than real world advice for some actually having to deal with it.

Feisar

This is going to sound like victim blaming. I don't care, it is the truth:

People who are bullied are so for a reason, they are not randomly picked, maybe a bit awkward or like myself as a child, to thick to doff the cap but to soft to go hardcore.

This stuff flows into adulthood as well:

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/get_attacked.htm