Marriage proposals - rejected!

TheBoyConor

I've been thinking about this and about guys proposing marriage to their partners in big public ways. And I watched a compilation of public proposals where the girl declined the offer of marriage and the level of cringe is off the scale.

Have any of you ever heard stories of proposals that were made among friends or people you know and it was rejected.

I'd think it would be profoundly embarrasing and they guys end up looking like absolute tossers there on one knee.

Widdershins

It's awful for the one proposing but the flipside is, it's not fair to put the partner under pressure to accept. I'm always surprised by the way some people have two very different ideas of what they mean to each other and where things are going for them as a couple.

17larsson

I have no sympathy for anyone that proposes publicly and then gets rejected.

In fact it's exactly what should happen in such a situation

is_that_so

I've known a couple of people where the rejection ended the relationship. Think people should talk through their expectations before engaging in big gestures.

corner of hells

I'm pretty certain, I never proposed, I just know she ended up with an engagement ring one Christmas.

Jesus effing Christ

Total bull**** even without the crowd as if coubles dont discuss know what's happening in their lives as they go along

Sonics2k

Lad I knew proposed to his GF at her birthday party, only for her to breakdown and confess that she was sleeping with his dad. Who was still married to his mum. And who were at the party.

Great laugh thinking back on it, but really did feel bad for him at the time.

taytobreath

I watched those compilations on the utube and they are as fake as fcuk. Watch the fart ones they are way funnier

Widdershins

Jesus effing Christ wrote: »

Total bull**** even without the crowd as if coubles dont discuss know what's happening in their lives as they go along

Some have very weak communication skills. I knew someone who could only communicate through song lyrics and cryptic comments. Also some people are crazily fickle and make assumptions like "if I'm in love, he/she must be too".

rob316

Lying in bed at home one night I whipped it out and said want to get married? She said yes and that was it.

Princess Calla

Sonics2k wrote: »

Lad I knew proposed to his GF at her birthday party, only for her to breakdown and confess that she was sleeping with his dad. Who was still married to his mum. And who were at the party.

Great laugh thinking back on it, but really did feel bad for him at the time.

So what happened next? Are the parents still together? Were her parents there...what was their reaction...... We (I) need a few more details here


Absolutely crappy thing for her to do though,hope he's ok.

Ipso

Sonics2k wrote: »

Lad I knew proposed to his GF at her birthday party, only for her to breakdown and confess that she was sleeping with his dad. Who was still married to his mum. And who were at the party.

Great laugh thinking back on it, but really did feel bad for him at the time.

God, that's the stuff of Jeremy Kyle's wet dreams.

Bogwoppit

rob316 wrote: »

Lying in bed at home one night I whipped it out and said want to get married? She said yes and that was it.

Did you show her your ring too?

martingriff

rob316 wrote: »

Lying in bed at home one night I whipped it out and said want to get married? She said yes and that was it.

So when did ye get the engagement ring

Tom Mann Centuria

Being the old romantic I am, I proposed to my wife over the phone. If she said no I was in the pub anyway.

Toots

My parents were away for a weekend and having dinner in the fancy hotel restaurant that night, some guy proposed to his girlfriend in the middle of it. Of course everyone was staring and Dad said there was a waiter standing over by the kitchens with bubbly at the ready (the guy had done the thing where he got someone in the kitchen to put the ring box on the plate with dessert)

The girl was in floods of tears and after a minute or so it started getting awkward because she hadn't given a yes, and after a few more minutes the bubbly disappeared and the guy put the ring box in his pocket. He sat there stony faced while the girl sobbed into her dessert.

The girl was down for breakfast the next morning, looking a bit puffy eyed, but no sign of the guy. They saw the two of them together at check out later on. Dunno if she rejected him, or was just mortified at the proposal, or it was not a "no" just a "not yet". Mum reckoned if she'd outright refused they wouldn't have spent the night, one of them would have left. I'd have loved to find out what happened.

rob316

Bogwoppit wrote: »

Did you show her your ring too?

That came after

Thelonious Monk

Pretty much everyone I know got married because their wife wanted to, the proposal is just ceremonial

rob316

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Pretty much everyone I know got married because their wife wanted to, the proposal is just ceremonial

Ya it's pretty much discussed these days before it happens it's hardly a surprise for many I'd guess.

the beer revolu

My wife said no the first time I asked her.
She had to wait a while for a second proposal.

Leg End Reject

Toots wrote: »

My parents were away for a weekend and having dinner in the fancy hotel restaurant that night, some guy proposed to his girlfriend in the middle of it. Of course everyone was staring and Dad said there was a waiter standing over by the kitchens with bubbly at the ready (the guy had done the thing where he got someone in the kitchen to put the ring box on the plate with dessert)

The girl was in floods of tears and after a minute or so it started getting awkward because she hadn't given a yes, and after a few more minutes the bubbly disappeared and the guy put the ring box in his pocket. He sat there stony faced while the girl sobbed into her dessert.

The girl was down for breakfast the next morning, looking a bit puffy eyed, but no sign of the guy. They saw the two of them together at check out later on. Dunno if she rejected him, or was just mortified at the proposal, or it was not a "no" just a "not yet". Mum reckoned if she'd outright refused they wouldn't have spent the night, one of them would have left. I'd have loved to find out what happened.

If someone proposed to me in public I'd refuse, even if I did actually want to get married.

I hate public displays of emotion and grand gestures, so if someone got it that wrong there would be no point getting married.

utyh2ikcq9z76b

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Pretty much everyone I know got married because their wife wanted to, the proposal is just ceremonial

Anyone I have ever asked about marriage gave me the same answer.

ToxicPaddy

Jeez I dunno how anyone does the big public proposal thing. Talk about setting yourself up for a fall.

ZX7R

I didn't really get a chance to propose properly,my now wife told me we were getting married.
A week or two later I bought a ring , later that day walked into the kitchen and gave her the ring.
Married 6 months later.

Plumbthedepths

Anyone who opts for a very public proposal deserves a NO. How is it fair to effectively back someone into a corner to concede an expected yes?

LirW

For someone who constantly goes on about how he rejects the idea of marriage, partnership and starting a family, OP seems pretty obsessed with these topics.

ToxicPaddy

ZX7R wrote: »

I didn't really get a chance to propose properly,my now wife told me we were getting married.
A week or two later I bought a ring , later that day walked into the kitchen and gave her the ring.
Married 6 months later.

We know who's wearing the trousers in that relationship

Itssoeasy

This has reminded me actually of the guy who proposed to his girlfriend onstage at the rose of Tralee after she'd finished being interviewed by Daithi. I just remember her saying No at a rate of knots and I think she said yes or it wasn't a complete disaster. Did they get married in the end ?

Toots

Does anyone remember the one on the RTE new years eve show a few years ago? The girl looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up.

Dexpat

I remember about 20 years ago I think it was at Everton, they let a fan propose on the pitch at half time. She said yes. Kisses and smiles all round until lads in the stand start singing 'bet she loves it up the ass'. The chant soon became deafening. They made a hasty retreat. They didn't even confirm if she did or not.

Sonics2k

Princess Calla wrote: »

So what happened next? Are the parents still together? Were her parents there...what was their reaction...... We (I) need a few more details here


Absolutely crappy thing for her to do though,hope he's ok.

Party went to absolute hell after that. His parents had a massive fight in the kitchen, divorced a few years back.

Her parents were there, also freaking the **** out. Her mother trying to defend her daughters actions but the father just went pale with anger at her.

If it helps, all his mates hated her and he's in a much healthier relationship now.

Princess Calla

Sonics2k wrote: »

Party went to absolute hell after that. His parents had a massive fight in the kitchen, divorced a few years back.

Her parents were there, also freaking the **** out. Her mother trying to defend her daughters actions but the father just went pale with anger at her.

If it helps, all his mates hated her and he's in a much healthier relationship now.

Jesus!!!

Delighted he's moved on and is happy

There was actually a thread in personal issues on a very similar experience.

Nigel Fairservice

My missus would string me up if I proposed pubically. I wouldn't ask publicly anyway. I've only seen 1 public proposal. It was at the Trevi fountain in Rome. The couple were aggressively swarmed by hawkers selling flowers and other crap. It really took away from their moment. i remember seeing fellas at the Eiffel Tower as well roaming around with buckets of champagne on ice waiting to pounce on newly engaged couples.

Jonybgud

Marriage is just a load of ****e anyway, if I had the choice over I wouldn't bother. ONLY plus in this ****ty country is that it gave me rights with my children I otherwise wouldn't have had.

martingriff

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Anyone who opts for a very public proposal deserves a NO. How is it fair to effectively back someone into a corner to concede an expected yes?

I don't agree. I don't think anyone who goes for a public proposal is trying to back them in to a corner. I think they love the person want to show it and think the person fells as much in love with them to. You make it out as if they are desperate. Now if they know there partner is very shy and hate that then yes they should rethink how to do the proposal

The One Doctor

TheBoyConor wrote: »

I've been thinking about this and about guys proposing marriage to their partners in big public ways. And I watched a compilation of public proposals where the girl declined the offer of marriage and the level of cringe is off the scale.

Have any of you ever heard stories of proposals that were made among friends or people you know and it was rejected.

I'd think it would be profoundly embarrasing and they guys end up looking like absolute tossers there on one knee.

The trick is to ask beforehand.

TheBoyConor

What I also cannot understand is the seemingly large portion of fellas who agree to get married just to placate the pestering girlfriend. There are a few in this thread, for example the poster who toddled into the kitchen with a ring after the gf made a decree that they were getting married?

I suspected that anyway, a percentage of men don't want to get married but go shopping with it to keep the peace.
It's crazy stuff. Do these fellas not have any backbone or ability to stand up for themselves?

I also agree that anyone who does a public proposal deserves the ridicule of the crowd. It's an asshole move, big time. It's basically like putting a gun to a woman's head to say yes. It shows a manipulative and controlling streak in the prosper. I think that many of them do it because they suspect that the woman would say no in a private proposal so they put them on the spot in public in the hope they say yes to avoid embarrassment.

ZX7R

TheBoyConor wrote: »

What I also cannot understand is the seemingly large portion of fellas who agree to get married just to placate the pestering girlfriend. There are a few in this thread, for example the poster who toddled into the kitchen with a ring after the gf made a decree that they were getting married?

I suspected that anyway, a percentage of men don't want to get married but go shopping with it to keep the peace.
It's crazy stuff. Do these fellas not have any backbone or ability to stand up for themselves?

Hold on till I ask the wife if I have a backbone.....

Foggy Jew

The One Doctor wrote: »

The trick is to ask beforehand.

Hmmm.... I know of a couple who were due to be married on a Saturday. He got cold feet, phoned the bride to be the night beforehand, wept & wailed into the phone & told her he was calling the wedding off.
She kept her cool & asked him, as a face-saving gesture, would he turn up at the church anyway, and make it look as if she jilted him. He agreed.
She arrived at the church in all her glory, the wedding went ahead, and as far as I know, they are living happily ever after. (Slightly off-topic, but ‘asking beforehand’ may not be a guarantee either).

IAMAMORON

Sonics2k wrote: »

Lad I knew proposed to his GF at her birthday party, only for her to breakdown and confess that she was sleeping with his dad. Who was still married to his mum. And who were at the party.

Great laugh thinking back on it, but really did feel bad for him at the time.

Sonics2k wrote: »

Party went to absolute hell after that. His parents had a massive fight in the kitchen, divorced a few years back.

Her parents were there, also freaking the **** out. Her mother trying to defend her daughters actions but the father just went pale with anger at her.

If it helps, all his mates hated her and he's in a much healthier relationship now.

I have to admit I love a good ( or a bad ) story, but I am really struggling with this one , sorry pal.

I lost you after the first post , but you really hung yourself when you said her parents were there as well.

If she was cute enough to be screwing his Dad, she is certainly not letting him know the night he proposes to her …. and certainly not in front of her own parents....

Nice try.

Zaph

IAMAMORON wrote: »

I lost you after the first post , but you really hung yourself when you said her parents were there as well.

Why would her parents not be at her birthday party?

IAMAMORON

Zaph wrote: »

Why would her parents not be at her birthday party?

When there is more than one why in a story, I tend to struggle with it.

Fair enough, if her birthday is in her own house, of course they are there.

" Dad, it's thingamajiggys birthday next month, you know the one your riding behind my back , yeah ?"

" oh yeh son, well have a good time, here's € 50 , get her something nice "

" are you not gonna go Dad, are you afraid of going in case her old man cops on you have been nailing her on the sly ? "

etc etc

It is complete tripe.

AndrewJRenko

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Pretty much everyone I know got married because their wife wanted to, the proposal is just ceremonial

Irish marriage : where a man chases a woman until she catches him.

Deebles McBeebles

Leg End Reject wrote: »

If someone proposed to me in public I'd refuse, even if I did actually want to get married.

I hate public displays of emotion and grand gestures, so if someone got it that wrong there would be no point getting married.