How long do you guys expect to wait before sex?

touts

KathleenGrant wrote: »

I have had sex on a first date. I have also wanted sex with a guy that I knew was not comfortable enough till 4 months after we started dating. The sex with that second guy when it happened was incredible.

Best sex I ever had was with a girl I started sleeping with on our first date. It was good that first night but the next day we really clicked in bed and it was the start of an incredible few months. If Kathleen's story and mine show anything it's don't worry about the "rules". When it's the right time it's the right time.

Raconteuse

Having a "rule" is bizarre.

andekwarhola

Answering anything posted by the OP is bizarre.

*except this

misterme123

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

But how long is too long??

OP, don't worry about it. When two people love each other's vibes, they'll wait.

"wait" makes it sound like a gift. An arbitrary number of dates or weeks makes it sound like a gift. Would never be with a woman who treated sex like that. You're sure to be going out with a dumb clown who'll treat sex like a tool in the relationship.

Deja Boo

Deja Boo wrote: »

Sharing yourself with one another is a gift. Intimacy (like trust) is earned, by both parties. Sex is a tool, but not that type you suggest - it's a powerful tool for connection and security, and taken far too lightly.

Waiting a certain number of dates or weeks isn't "earning" intimacy. If it naturally takes a couple of months for it to happen, that's fine. But a timer is a sign you're going out with someone who treats sex as a gift instead of a shared experience.

That's a big red flag for me and I wouldn't stick around. "Ok, you're allowed to have sex with me now." doesn't really sound as nice as "I'm ready to have sex with you."

Signore Fancy Pants

Takes about 2 minutes for the jar of liver to cool down enough after taking it out of the microwave.

cannotlogin

I'm surprised people have rules and expectations around this. It happens when it happens.

tabby aspreme

Depends on which field they are in, and how quickly the dogs can get them into the pen.

Millionaire only not

When ur ready pop him a little blue one , happy days

KathleenGrant

Actually now I look at the thread title I see what some posters mean. It does smack of "how long do I have before I need to put out" about it. If a poster was asking that I would wonder about the future of the physical side of the relationship going forward.

Raconteuse

A number of "Women shouldn't put an arbitrary time frame on sex happening" posts in a thread with a number of posts from guys saying they put an arbitrary time frame on sex happening.

The One Doctor

It either happens or it doesn't. For me in one relationship it was the second day, another relationship it was six months from first date to sex. The latter was far better and it has stood the test of time.

There's no guidelines on this stuff.

KathleenGrant

paulbok wrote: »

Till we get home, usually.

The word usually there made me laugh. Have had experience of couldn't wait till then. Good times!

Millionaire only not

KathleenGrant wrote: »

The word usually there made me laugh. Have had experience of couldn't wait till then. Good times!

The great outdoors or car - lol nothing like it

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

"Ok, you're allowed to have sex with me now." doesn't really sound as nice as "I'm ready to have sex with you."

"I'm ready to have sex with you" doesn't sound as nice as "shut up and fcuk me"

KathleenGrant

Millionaire only not wrote: »

The great outdoors or car - lol nothing like it

The great outdoors. Every ****ing time.

Loafing Oaf

Millionaire only not wrote: »

The great outdoors or car - lol nothing like it

The dogger's motto:D

Millionaire only not

KathleenGrant wrote: »

The great outdoors. Every ****ing time.

Suppose a date is out of the question Kathleen! Lol
We can let on it’s number 3 - lol

KathleenGrant

Millionaire only not wrote: »

Suppose a date is out of the question Kathleen! Lol
We can let on it’s number 3 - lol

Single at the moment so eh maybe. You are a millionaire right.

cj maxx

KathleenGrant wrote: »

The great outdoors. Every ****ing time.

Its December !! Lying on a frozen lump of mucky ground ain't my idea of good sex !!

Purgative

paulbok wrote: »

Till we get home, usually.

Sure. Wouldn't want to get banned from Dunnes again.

Millionaire only not

cjmc wrote: »

Its December !! Lying on a frozen lump of mucky ground ain't my idea of good sex !!

But summer is around the corner

Pac1Man

I shook hands with a woman once.

KathleenGrant

cjmc wrote: »

Its December !! Lying on a frozen lump of mucky ground ain't my idea of good sex !!

Lying on the ground. Eh no!

mariaalice

How are young people or even old people talking about this in 2019. I am amazed anyone gets together with anyone its sounds so convoluted and false and full of ego and pretense.

Leg End Reject

mariaalice wrote: »

How are young people or even old people talking about this in 2019. I am amazed anyone gets together with anyone its sounds so convoluted and fals and full of ego and pretense.

I don't think this actually exists in real life, it happens when it happens.

cj maxx

Millionaire only not wrote: »

But summer is around the corner

True. I had an outdoor sex encounter in a November, in England . She was the instigator and really seemed to enjoy it , not the sex necessarily as it was Baltic
But being out in the cold

Notmything

And colour me shocked....mr fegelin has a thread up about never having sex again. Must have had the chat with ILYV

Loafing Oaf

Pac1Man wrote: »

I shook hands with a woman once.

You still beat this guy

LaFuton

ILoveYourVibes

listermint wrote: »

Is sex not something for both of you to decide and want ?

Mad concept altogether I know...

In reality no. Because the guys i date want it earlier ...but are prepared to wait ..so in the end ..i end up deciding just because it takes me longer to be ready than them

ILoveYourVibes

LaFuton wrote: »

This is my fav internet pic ....no matter what the words are ..i love it

ILoveYourVibes

andekwarhola wrote: »

Answering anything posted by the OP is bizarre.

*except this

DONT LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE ASS AS YOU WALK OUT

ACTUALLY NO LET IT HIT YOU!:mad:

I feel the Hot crazy matrix would be particularly relevent in relation to the OP..

ILoveYourVibes

Deleted User wrote: »

I feel the Hot crazy matrix would be particularly relevent in relation to the OP..

I'm very hot ....and totally crazy. I pity any guy who dates me.

Don't date me ....just be my mate ..im an awesome mate!

I wouldn't want to be anyone but me though

Quantum Erasure

20Wheel wrote: »

Most guys I know go by the 3 date rule.

what happens at the end of the third date? you seem pretty into her, she says 'lets meet tomorrow night' .... ?

ILoveYourVibes

Quantum Erasure wrote: »

what happens at the end of the third date? you seem pretty into her, she says 'lets meet tomorrow night' .... ?

In his HEAD ...he says no...i think i have wasted enough time ..

In reality he says ..yes ...i would love to ...then has sex on around date 6 -8 like she planned from the beginning.

Or he moves on to the next lady ...and the same thing happens ...and it goes on and on .

ILoveYourVibes

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

In his HEAD ...he says no...i think i have wasted enough time ..

In reality he says ..yes ...i would love to ...then has sex on around date 6 -8 like she planned from the beginning.

Or he moves on to the next lady ...and the same thing happens ...and it goes on and on .

What factors go into a 6-8 date plan, out of interest? If I am exceptionally handsome, can I get a bespoke plan more suitable to my needs? Is there an additional cost to such customisation of the relationship?

ILoveYourVibes

Deleted User wrote: »

What factors go into a 6-8 date plan, out of interest? If I am exceptionally handsome, can I get a bespoke plan more suitable to my needs? Is there an additional cost to such customisation of the relationship?

My love don't cost a thang ....;)

Exceptionally handsome men must wait longer ..you guys have more options i have to be sure you are serious i have to penalize you!

Hand jobs and fondling may be possible on date 5.

ILoveYourVibes

Date 3 sex is like the worst most awkward sex ever tho...you would probably never see me again after date three sex .....and its unlikely i would sleep the night ...but hey you got sex!

corner of hells

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Date 3 sex is like the worst most awkward sex ever tho...you would probably never see me again after date three sex .....and its unlikely i would sleep the night ...but hey you got sex!

Vibes , did you let the dog in and willya stop hoggin' the duvet ?

robertpatterson

I've never understood the whole rule/make them wait thing.
It all smacks of game playing imo, if it feels right at the time then go for it if it doesn't don't its really that simple
If I was dating someone and they told me they had 'rules' I'd be out of there.
Lifes too short for such BS
Ive had relationships in the past where there has been sex on the first night and it hasn't impacted negatively on the relationship .

Reviews and Books Galore

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

In his HEAD ...he says no...i think i have wasted enough time ..

In reality he says ..yes ...i would love to ...then has sex on around date 6 -8 like she planned from the beginning.

Or he moves on to the next lady ...and the same thing happens ...and it goes on and on .

Hmmmm, really?



Eh, I guess it depends on the guy tbh. If the girl was cool, I'd probably hang around with her, but if she wasn't, I'd probably just politely disengage. Life's too short and time is finite imo.

Reviews and Books Galore

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

My love don't cost a thang ....;)

Exceptionally handsome men must wait longer ..you guys have more options i have to be sure you are serious i have to penalize you!

Hand jobs and fondling may be possible on date 5.

I am getting flashbacks I love Your Vibes :P

Millionaire only not

cjmc wrote: »

True. I had an outdoor sex encounter in a November, in England . She was the instigator and really seemed to enjoy it , not the sex necessarily as it was Baltic
But being out in the cold

Outdoor is simply the best , I always get my female friends into it and once they get the taste of it , everywhere and anywhere !
Always wondered what the lay-bys are used for on the dual carriageways ! - lol

Mister Vain

The fear of getting caught makes it more exciting. Even getting a handjob while driving up the motorway is great.

KathleenGrant

Mister Vain wrote: »

The fear of getting caught makes it more exciting

Agreed but it isn't so nice if almost caught. Happened me twice. Very close calls.

Feisar

Widdershins wrote: »

I had one (what I intended to be) one night stand and he wanted a relationship. So if that's what worries you, it doesn't seem to be an issue for men. They'd be a bit hypocritical it was, but sure, double standards are not new.

I would never have thought less of a woman for having sex with me the same night as meeting me. Why wouldn't they, I'm awesome!

Feisar

Millionaire only not wrote: »

Outdoor is simply the best , I always get my female friends into it and once they get the taste of it , everywhere and anywhere !
Always wondered what the lay-bys are used for on the dual carriageways ! - lol

Used to have a GF like that, windy rainy day up around Sally Gap. She used to pull moves that'd make a Brazzer's model baulk so what's a lad to do?