What to expect when meeting a therapist / counselor for the first time

sheepeasy

After a long time of deliberation I decided to see a counselor / therapist / psychiatrist (mostly based on the advice I have read here)

The reason I think I need to go is because :

- Low Self Esteem
- Low Confidence
- Plenty of friends that have almost all found relationships lately
- All potential relationships of my own ending before they even start
- Relationship based anxiety at times which makes me feel ill
- General feeling of loneliness despite never really being alone
etc.

Basically my own self diagnosis is that I think I'm starting to slip into a bit of depression. But on the other hand, I probably don't even know what it means to be depressed.

I'm not sure what to expect. Should I be writing out a list of things to show him ?

I find it hard to open to anyone, never mind someone I don't know.
I was considering printing off an old thread I started here so see what he thinks.

From speaking on the phone he said his method is normally to equip someone with the tools to become the person they envisage themselves as.

I guess I'm nervous but I don't want this to be an expensive wast of time.
How can I get the most of a session ?

Irish Praetorian

sheepeasy wrote: »

After a long time of deliberation I decided to see a counselor / therapist / psychiatrist (mostly based on the advice I have read here)

The reason I think I need to go is because :

- Low Self Esteem
- Low Confidence
- Plenty of friends that have almost all found relationships lately
- All potential relationships of my own ending before they even start
- Relationship based anxiety at times which makes me feel ill
- General feeling of loneliness despite never really being alone
etc.

Basically my own self diagnosis is that I think I'm starting to slip into a bit of depression. But on the other hand, I probably don't even know what it means to be depressed.

I'm not sure what to expect. Should I be writing out a list of things to show him ?

I find it hard to open to anyone, never mind someone I don't know.
I was considering printing off an old thread I started here so see what he thinks.

From speaking on the phone he said his method is normally to equip someone with the tools to become the person they envisage themselves as.

I guess I'm nervous but I don't want this to be an expensive wast of time.
How can I get the most of a session ?

Don't worry about meeting expectations or trying to tick boxes - although fair warning you may be handed a bunch of forms with a load of boxes to tick and forms to fill in. Really, you don't need to do much more than what you have done here, namely just bring up a few of the things you are thinking of at the moment, what's occupying your thoughts and maybe some things you might want to work on.

Heck if you were really pressed you might just print out what you've typed there and bring that in. Together the two of you will be able to put form on some of these things.

Out of interest, what kind of specialist are they? Though they sound the same a psychiatrist is distinct from a psychologist which differs from therapist. If you are considering that perhaps prescribed medication might be the way to go, you'll either need to do to a psychiatrist or perhaps your GP.

Ultimately though you don't need to be afraid of the experience (except for the bill paying part), they can't force you to attend them and you might reach the decision that you would be happier elsewhere. But chances are they might have some useful insights and viewpoints that could help you, or know of people in a similar boat as yourself.

ChrissieH

I would imagine that there'll be a brief introduction / explanation of the process and possibly the signing of a contract to agree to the Ts and Cs, and once that's over, the therapist will probably ask you to say what's brought you to therapy. If you tell the therapist that you feel you need help with self-esteem and low confidence, I'm sure they will ask you why you think that, and that will lead into you explaining a few bits about yourself, so things will flow along.
You're unlikely to "get" anything from the first session, any more than you would benefit hugely from your first gym session; it's something that will slowly change your life the more you stick with it, so if the expense is a primary concern to you, I would say that you will either have to regard it as an investment in your mental wellbeing, or decide not to do it at all. It's not a magic quick-fix .. far from it, it is a slow, subtle enhancement of your mental health and confidence that could take months and even years.

dubstepper

I started with a therapist a couple of months ago. Like you I wasn't sure what to expect, or what was wrong. I just knew I wasn't happy and couldn't solve things on my own.

I researched and found a therapist. Had a phone conversation to tell them what I fwas feeling. Then met and had a number of sessions. It has definitely helped me. I am an engineer so I tend to look to fix things, but in this case, your thinking/brain is not really something that can be "fixed". We have had a number of conversations about what I think are my problems, but also on areas which have come up in the conversations and the therapist thinks there is merit to looking at. It has all helped.

Don't worry about it. Even saying things out loud is a help.