Things you just "don't get"?

Millicently

Millicently wrote: »

You clearly haven't got a clue about long term relationships. You equate someone who wants to spend their free time with their partner and kids as being 'isolated and in an unhealthy relationship, it genuinely seems beyond your comprehension that people grow up and grow out of the binge drinking crap. Normal people don't leave their partner/kids for a weekend to go on the piss with the lads/lasses. You are seriously missing the point that your friends who don't want to do that anymore possibly think you're a bit of a tosser and they'd like you to just stop nagging them to go out drinking with you.

Well since I'm happily married for a number of years (and with my wife for close to a decade) I think I have a very large "clue" about long term relationships.

Are you seriously saying normal people don't leave their partner/kids for a weekend away with the lads/girls every now and then (the people with kids are often the ones most itching to get away for a weekend to have a break from the kids)? This is a totally normal thing among people I know, people I work with etc etc. I don't personally have any friends who don't want to go out drinking anymore be they married, have kids or whatever. Might not be quite as often as before but its still quite regular for most.

Ash.J.Williams

people calling stuff people say as a "take" feck off

Millicently

Rex Scary Tendinitis wrote: »

Well since I'm happily married for a number of years (and with my wife for close to a decade) I think I have a very large "clue" about long term relationships.

Are you seriously saying normal people don't leave their partner/kids for a weekend away with the lads/girls every now and then (the people with kids are often the ones most itching to get away for a weekend to have a break from the kids)? This is a totally normal thing among people I know, people I work with etc etc. I don't personally have any friends who don't want to go out drinking anymore be they married, have kids or whatever. Might not be quite as often as before but its still quite regular for most.

Yeah, of course you do.:D

dubstarr

Rex Scary Tendinitis wrote: »

Well since I'm happily married for a number of years (and with my wife for close to a decade) I think I have a very large "clue" about long term relationships.

Are you seriously saying normal people don't leave their partner/kids for a weekend away with the lads/girls every now and then (the people with kids are often the ones most itching to get away for a weekend to have a break from the kids)? This is a totally normal thing among people I know, people I work with etc etc. I don't personally have any friends who don't want to go out drinking anymore be they married, have kids or whatever. Might not be quite as often as before but its still quite regular for most.

Well im with my partner 29 years.And nobody is saying you cant go for a few drinks o a weekend away.The problem stems when people only do that,and dont spend enough time with their partner or kids.

I go our now and again,suits me.Hes the same.Horses for courses.

begbysback

Thought I stumbled into the personal issues feedback forum there for a moment

vriesmays

I don't get how difficult it is to buy new black shoes for men with flat soles and laces.

dubstarr

Why the hell the veg container is in the bottom of the fridge.Would it not make more sense for it to be on the top shelf.So stuff doesnt get squashed.

Jamsiek

Gamer Bhoy 89 wrote: »

Politics.

Also, people who vote who tell non voters never to be complaining.

I don't vote, and people often tell me I've no right to complain because of it.

To this day I have no idea what it is they think I complain about that would warrant me to vote for some sort of change.

For example: I hate the sound of kids screaming in a housing estate for hours on end. I hate excessive sunlight and I hate the heat during summer. I also can't stand certain kinds of music............. should I shut up about all of that because I don't vote???

What am I whining about? They seem to know something I don't.....

The ironic thing is, though, is that voters do more complaining than me from what I've seen. I have never heard anyone ever say "sure our government is great!" in the 16 years I've lived here.... Same with the UK, too.....

I'm quite a pleasant person to talk to altogether, as well. So I don't know where this opinion comes from that I "have no right to moan" when they haven't a clue who I am. Even worse when it's people who know me....

I don't vote because I genuinely don't give a shıte. I do me and focus on my own day to day. I get up, I go to work, I come home, I eat dinner, I play video games, I watch a movie, go to sleep, rinse and repeat.

If you want to vote, good for you. I hope that whatever it is you want in life goes well for you. But me, I'm happy with what's in front of me.

I would say if you don’t vote, don’t complain about politics.
Im sure nobody would have a problem if you complained about other things.

Always Tired

Millicently wrote: »

Maybe one day you'll be in a serious relationship with someone and you'll discover for yourself that you'd rather be with them than in the pub with some guys.

With some women the longer you're with them the more you want to be in the pub away from them.

Widdershins

Widdershins wrote: »

I don't get when people say your life goes out the window when you have a baby. Only if your life is all nightlife in pubs but you can bring them with you most places. There are baby wraps.

Technically true that you can go anywhere but it is a LOT of extra work making sure you have spare clothes, nappies, wipes, food for baby and you, calculating the return time to be in line with the feeding of the baby. Basically you are always counting down to the next feed.

Also a lot of hassle lifting baby in and out of car seats, buggy etc.

It is kind of like trying to pee in turbulent airplane while playing whack a mole. Eventually you will get the job done but it will be hard work and will involve cleaning up a mess at some point also.

Potential-Monke

Deleted User wrote: »

It is kind of like trying to pee in turbulent airplane while playing whack a mole. Eventually you will get the job done but it will be hard work and will involve cleaning up a mess at some point also.

And yet people still have them as par for course... Don't get that myself!

Potential-Monke

Potential-Monke wrote: »

And yet people still have them as par for course... Don't get that myself!

Haha that is a logical reasoning!

As a new father I think it is 95 per cent hard work and a magical 5 per cent of fluffy good times. Definitely enriches your life and gives a new purpose though.

lapua20grain

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Haha that is a logical reasoning!

As a new father I think it is 95 per cent hard work and a magical 5 per cent of fluffy good times. Definitely enriches your life and gives a new purpose though.

Have to agree there is a lot of ****e but the good stuff outweighs the crappy stuff

2lazytogetup

dubstarr wrote: »

Why the hell the veg container is in the bottom of the fridge.Would it not make more sense for it to be on the top shelf.So stuff doesnt get squashed.

Good point, or the juices from raw meat dripping onto the veg contaminating them and giving the eater gastroenteritis.

2lazytogetup

Deleted User wrote: »

Haha that is a logical reasoning!

As a new father I think it is 95 per cent hard work and a magical 5 per cent of fluffy good times. Definitely enriches your life and gives a new purpose though.

agree with the 95% hard work and 5% of catch a breath time.

Not sure it enriches the life though.I think this is just a fallacy that parents use to justify the reasoning for having children. especially when the meet their childless mates who are having a great life.

Seamai

2lazytogetup wrote: »

agree with the 95% hard work and 5% of catch a breath time.

Not sure it enriches the life though.I think this is just a fallacy that parents use to justify the reasoning for having children. especially when the meet their childless mates who are having a great life.

I've no doubt that there are people out there who probably regret having children but would not admit it, not even to themselves. I don't have any myself (and won't be at this stage) but listening to family , friends and work colleagues, none of them have ever made it look remotely attractive to me.

whisky_galore

Millicently wrote: »

You clearly haven't got a clue about long term relationships. You equate someone who wants to spend their free time with their partner and kids as being 'isolated and in an unhealthy relationship, it genuinely seems beyond your comprehension that people grow up and grow out of the binge drinking crap. Normal people don't leave their partner/kids for a weekend to go on the piss with the lads/lasses. You are seriously missing the point that your friends who don't want to do that anymore possibly think you're a bit of a tosser and they'd like you to just stop nagging them to go out drinking with you.

Why is it in your head any lad who would like the odd night out or me time is some sort of raging alco?

Millicently

whisky_galore wrote: »

Why is it in your head any lad who would like the odd night out or me time is some sort of raging alco?

:rolleyes:

whisky_galore

Millicently wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Binge drinking, read your own post.

2lazytogetup

2lazytogetup wrote: »

agree with the 95% hard work and 5% of catch a breath time.

Not sure it enriches the life though.I think this is just a fallacy that parents use to justify the reasoning for having children. especially when the meet their childless mates who are having a great life.

Could be like the old phrase about marriage being the triumph of hope over experience.

I also get the need to justify having kids, however i genuinely can't wait for the twists and turns of the next 18 years of raising a human being. Pretty cool project i look forward to.

dubstarr

Deleted User wrote: »

Could be like the old phrase about marriage being the triumph of hope over experience.

I also get the need to justify having kids, however i genuinely can't wait for the twists and turns of the next 18 years of raising a human being. Pretty cool project i look forward to.

I have 2 kids grown up and 2 grandkids.And you genuinely forget how funny kids are.I also have 3 younger kids and they certainly keep me on my toes.But its hard work,fun,hairpullingly frustrating but i wouldnt be without them[sometimes]:D

Widdershins

Deleted User wrote: »

Technically true that you can go anywhere but it is a LOT of extra work making sure you have spare clothes, nappies, wipes, food for baby and you, calculating the return time to be in line with the feeding of the baby. Basically you are always counting down to the next feed.

Also a lot of hassle lifting baby in and out of car seats, buggy etc.

It is kind of like trying to pee in turbulent airplane while playing whack a mole. Eventually you will get the job done but it will be hard work and will involve cleaning up a mess at some point also.

Doesnt it just become routine?

Wouldve thought feeding just comes naturally and if breastfeeding is quite a pleasant peaceful time.


Well r.e people regretting having kids, sounds like the same ones I'm thinking of in my OP. Just awkward, nit natural parents for some reason. They had them more as a lifestyle accessory.

EmmetSpiceland

Widdershins wrote: »

Doesnt it just become routine?

Wouldve thought feeding just comes naturally and if breastfeeding is quite a pleasant peaceful time.

An exhausting “routine” broken up by moments of panic, rage and hilarity. But not necessarily in that order.

While breast feeding is certainly a “pleasant peaceful” time for the guys it is anything but for the mother. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s “rewarding”, and all that, but it sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Maybe a “mombie” will be along to shoot down my post but not everyone has the “daytime tv” experience with breast feeding.

EmmetSpiceland

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

An exhausting “routine” broken up by moments of panic, rage and hilarity. But not necessarily in that order.

While breast feeding is certainly a “pleasant peaceful” time for the guys it is anything but for the mother. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s “rewarding”, and all that, but it sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Maybe a “mombie” will be along to shoot down my post but not everyone has the “daytime tv” experience with breast feeding.

Is it too late to change you mind at eight months? I think I've decided it's not for me after all.

Widdershins

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

An exhausting “routine” broken up by moments of panic, rage and hilarity. But not necessarily in that order.

While breast feeding is certainly a “pleasant peaceful” time for the guys it is anything but for the mother. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s “rewarding”, and all that, but it sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Maybe a “mombie” will be along to shoot down my post but not everyone has the “daytime tv” experience with breast feeding.

I understand its different for everyone. Something can be both difficult and rewarding, thpugh.

The name seems uncalled for.

EmmetSpiceland

Widdershins wrote: »

I understand its different for everyone. Something can be both difficult and rewarding, thpugh.

The name seems uncalled for.

Apologies, wasn’t directed at you, W.

Was more about the ones who won’t hear talk mastitis, latching issues or nipple “cracking”.

The type who’s kids are speaking french and reading before they turn 3.

micar

Casey78 wrote: »

The outpouring of grief when a celebrity dies.

The only famous person dying that genuinely upset me was David Bowie.

dubstarr

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Apologies, wasn’t directed at you, W.

Was more about the ones who won’t hear talk mastitis, latching issues or nipple “cracking”.

The type who’s kids are speaking french and reading before they turn 3.

Not everyone has trouble breastfeeding.You only hear the horror stories.I bf my 5 kids,I got mastitis on only one of them .

Millicently

People complaining that not enough is being done to get Irish people on a cruise ship full of Coronavirus back to Ireland. They are 2 people who hold Irish passports and who don't live in Ireland, let whatever country they do live in deal with them. All very vague this 'hold Irish passports'.

EmmetSpiceland

dubstarr wrote: »

Not everyone has trouble breastfeeding.You only hear the horror stories.I bf my 5 kids,I got mastitis on only one of them .

How was it for you?

dubstarr

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

How was it for you?

Like a duck to water.I loved it,no trouble with latch or sore nipples.

EmmetSpiceland

dubstarr wrote: »

Like a duck to water.I loved it,no trouble with latch or sore nipples.

The mastitis?

dubstarr

My 2nd son was a year old when i got it,so i stopped feeding him then.

whisky_galore

People who cave into demands and give smartphones to their young children.

Who is the one supposed to be in charge here?

Lia_lia

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

An exhausting “routine” broken up by moments of panic, rage and hilarity. But not necessarily in that order.

While breast feeding is certainly a “pleasant peaceful” time for the guys it is anything but for the mother. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s “rewarding”, and all that, but it sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Maybe a “mombie” will be along to shoot down my post but not everyone has the “daytime tv” experience with breast feeding.

I’m currently breastfeeding an almost 8 month old. Yes it was hard at the start. By start I mean first 2 weeks. It was agony! But once I got latch issues sorted and my nipples healed it was great. No issues since. Pretty much forgotten about the sore nipples now. Like the sore birth, ha!

I do know it can be hard for some but it’s definitely worth trying for at least a few weeks if it’s something you’d like to do and see how it goes. And of course get help if needed.

Jim_Hodge

Why do they now advertise to add scent boosters to fabric conditioners that they already advertise as adding freshness and a pleasant scent to your wash?

Antares35

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Apologies, wasn’t directed at you, W.

Was more about the ones who won’t hear talk mastitis, latching issues or nipple “cracking”.

The type who’s kids are speaking french and reading before they turn 3.

We've one of those in our family (not immediate family thankfully) - they refused to own a buggy, child was strapped to them 24/7. No sugar, no vaccines, no fluoridated water, home-schooled, no bedtime or routine because "children are free spirits" and no discipline or use of the word "no" because it might damage their egos. I could let all of that go since they are not my kids so it isn't my business, but the one thing I don't get is how they are so militant about breastfeeding. It's almost like a cult for the mother. All she talks about, posts about etc.

I mean, we get it breast is best etc. but motherhood is tough enough without making women feel bad about themselves because they choose not to or, for whatever reason are unable to breastfeed. I don't get how nobody has told her to mind her own business by now. I'm due my first in May and I hope to breastfeed but I certainly wont be volunteering for guilt if it doesn't work out. If she even tries to push her agenda on me I will have an answer for her!

Widdershins

I hate people inflicting their lifestyle or philosophy on ithers. I may be a mombie type myself but I wouldn't do that.

Thing I dont get: people who treat disabled people as if they are shameful, in this day and age. No excuse.

Millicently

Antares35 wrote: »

We've one of those in our family (not immediate family thankfully) - they refused to own a buggy, child was strapped to them 24/7. No sugar, no vaccines, no fluoridated water, home-schooled, no bedtime or routine because "children are free spirits" and no discipline or use of the word "no" because it might damage their egos. I could let all of that go since they are not my kids so it isn't my business, but the one thing I don't get is how they are so militant about breastfeeding. It's almost like a cult for the mother. All she talks about, posts about etc.

I mean, we get it breast is best etc. but motherhood is tough enough without making women feel bad about themselves because they choose not to or, for whatever reason are unable to breastfeed. I don't get how nobody has told her to mind her own business by now. I'm due my first in May and I hope to breastfeed but I certainly wont be volunteering for guilt if it doesn't work out. If she even tries to push her agenda on me I will have an answer for her!

Just smile to yourself and think about the coming times when Mummy and Daddy's little darling turns into their little effing psycho nightmare. Kids need boundaries. Kids who've grown up with no boundaries, no discipline and no formal education are going to be utter psychos with no idea how to interact with people.

Tell me how

Antares35 wrote: »

I mean, we get it breast is best etc. but motherhood is tough enough without making women feel bad about themselves because they choose not to or, for whatever reason are unable to breastfeed. I don't get how nobody has told her to mind her own business by now. I'm due my first in May and I hope to breastfeed but I certainly wont be volunteering for guilt if it doesn't work out. If she even tries to push her agenda on me I will have an answer for her!

Millicently wrote: »

Just smile to yourself and think about the coming times when Mummy and Daddy's little darling turns into their little effing psycho nightmare. Kids need boundaries. Kids who've grown up with no boundaries, no discipline and no formal education are going to be utter psychos with no idea how to interact with people.

Newton's third law is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

For every parent pushing breast feeding, there seems to be one pushing how they won't be pushed. It all seems very....pushy.

Antares35

Tell me how wrote: »

Newton's third law is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

For every parent pushing breast feeding, there seems to be one pushing how they won't be pushed. It all seems very....pushy.

Except the ones pushing breastfeeding are bombarding mothers with constant messages that formula feeding is somehow doing your child a disservice and that you are not being as good a parent as you can be by choosing (or indeed having no choice as is the case sometimes) to formula feed. Those who refuse to buy into this are not "pushing formula feeding" - they are simply refusing to be bullied. Not remotely the same thing.

the purple tin

I still can't work out why that dingbat Prince Andrew was allowed to do that interview and show people what a lying creep he is.

Does he not have a handler or adviser, assistant whatever to tell him what a bad idea it was?
Or did he just overrule them and bull on with it?

razorblunt

the purple tin wrote: »

I still can't work out why that dingbat Prince Andrew was allowed to do that interview and show people what a lying creep he is.

Does he not have a handler or adviser, assistant whatever to tell him what a bad idea it was?
Or did he just overrule them and bull on with it?

In a way you can understand why, with Trump and the Tories just knowingly brazing things out he probably thought he'd get away with it.

the purple tin

razorblunt wrote: »

In a way you can understand why, with Trump and the Tories just knowingly brazing things out he probably thought he'd get away with it.

And dug himself deeper into the caca.
It's actually a good thing I suppose, now we all know what a creep he is.
-He was incapable of sweating because somebody shot at him in the Falklands


-He never went out dancing or partying because he wasn't a 'party person', his nickname at the time was 'The Party Prince' ffs.


I also don't understand why the royals are publically celebrating his 60th, throw him out on his ear.

Tell me how

Antares35 wrote: »

Except the ones pushing breastfeeding are bombarding mothers with constant messages that formula feeding is somehow doing your child a disservice and that you are not being as good a parent as you can be by choosing (or indeed having no choice as is the case sometimes) to formula feed. Those who refuse to buy into this are not "pushing formula feeding" - they are simply refusing to be bullied. Not remotely the same thing.

Well, my sister wanted to breast feed her for her first. She did this and was v tired when doing so. Her sister in law kept reminding her how much easier it would be if she went with bottle feed.
When my sister became pregnant with her second, she was asked had she learned her lesson from previously.

Still think it isn't the same thing?

Millicently

Antares35 wrote: »

Except the ones pushing breastfeeding are bombarding mothers with constant messages that formula feeding is somehow doing your child a disservice and that you are not being as good a parent as you can be by choosing (or indeed having no choice as is the case sometimes) to formula feed. Those who refuse to buy into this are not "pushing formula feeding" - they are simply refusing to be bullied. Not remotely the same thing.

I don't have kids but I look at all the bombardment of women and it just looks like it adds so much unnecessary pressure onto women. I think women were fed a lie that they could have it all, the kids the career the body the marriage and it would all be wonderful, but the reality is that the women pushing that myth usually have staff who take care of most of that stuff for them. Some Mums breastfeed some don't, women shouldn't be pressured one way or the other. It can seem a bit militant at times. Most Mums are just muddling their way through motherhood doing the best that they can, just as women have done since women first started having babies.

Antares35

Tell me how wrote: »

Well, my sister wanted to breast feed her for her first. She did this and was v tired when doing so. Her sister in law kept reminding her how much easier it would be if she went with bottle feed.
When my sister became pregnant with her second, she was asked had she learned her lesson from previously.

Still think it isn't the same thing?

It sounds like her sister in law is very ignorant but yes I still think it isn't the same thing, since one piece of anecdotal evidence does not erode the sheer and undeniable ever present pressure on mothers to breastfeed.

Antares35

Millicently wrote: »

I don't have kids but I look at all the bombardment of women and it just looks like it adds so much unnecessary pressure onto women. I think women were fed a lie that they could have it all, the kids the career the body the marriage and it would all be wonderful, but the reality is that the women pushing that myth usually have staff who take care of most of that stuff for them. Some Mums breastfeed some don't, women shouldn't be pressured one way or the other. It can seem a bit militant at times. Most Mums are just muddling their way through motherhood doing the best that they can, just as women have done since women first started having babies.

Exactly. The advent of the internet also doesnt help. I feel bombarded much of the time and when anyone asks me my birth plan I simply say "a healthy outcome for us both" my consultant told me to read the what to expect book and avoid the internet lol

whisky_galore

whisky_galore wrote: »

Binge drinking, read your own post.

They went too far with the definition of that years ago and rendered it meaningless now. Nobody pays attention to it any more, nor should they. Well, nobody apart from the few who watched too many US teen dramas in their day.

Antares35

Antares35 wrote: »

It sounds like her sister in law is very ignorant but yes I still think it isn't the same thing, since one piece of anecdotal evidence does not erode the sheer and undeniable ever present pressure on mothers to breastfeed.

I've also encountered pressure from the natural childbirth crowd. I had an acquaintance draw a sharp intake of breath when I said I wanted an epidural at the admissions desk and to keep whatever drugs were going coming - and plenty of them. Apparently I'm denying myself the experience they think I should have. Not the one I want, mind. Same person is a breastfeeding nazi who called another mother selfish when she stopped bf at four months.

Ignore the extremists. They usually have nothing else going on in their lives, in my observation.