Irish Family Law - Court Order ( Access )

MissShihTzu

Deedee3 wrote: »

I guess sometimes saying it to someone on the outset gives a better view of the consequences. Brilliant tip, hopefully I get to speak in court.

The paper trail I always keep as its through emails only due to her constantly communicating for complete nonsense.

I guess most of the time I just want her to disappear off the face of the earth. She was physically abusive towards me during out relationship, this was a regular occurrence infront of the kids. So for me being able to tell her to do one without tip toeing and taking the abuse, is an achievement. It might seem aggressive or immature but for me its given me some platform of confidence to stand up.

Interesting. Have you kept records of the abuse? Gard reports, doctor reports, witnesses, a personal journal? I would certainly be telling the judge and social workers about that...

I am glad you're standing up for yourself now. No-one should take abuse be it verbal or physical. But keep a cool head. If you need to reply, keep any replies, short, sweet and to the point. Don't write irrelevant stuff and don't engage in any way.

Deedee3

MissShihTzu wrote: »

Interesting. Have you kept records of the abuse? Gard reports, doctor reports, witnesses, a personal journal? I would certainly be telling the judge and social workers about that...

I am glad you're standing up for yourself now. No-one should take abuse be it verbal or physical. But keep a cool head. If you need to reply, keep any replies, short, sweet and to the point. Don't write irrelevant stuff and don't engage in any way.

Because we were living together and she manipulated me from start to finish I never reported it to anyone. Even my family and friends didnt know the extent of the abuse, they knew she was heavy handed as they witnessed her thumping me but never acted on it. Stupidly I know and yet she goes around telling everyone I used to hit her...... messes with your head!

Recently I try to just ignore and dont respond but when she plays the dummie card as in through emails saying she didht know the kids blocked me off their phones, when shes the one who has done it, I just have to pull her on it.

MissShihTzu

Deedee3 wrote: »

Because we were living together and she manipulated me from start to finish I never reported it to anyone. Even my family and friends didnt know the extent of the abuse, they knew she was heavy handed as they witnessed her thumping me but never acted on it. Stupidly I know and yet she goes around telling everyone I used to hit her...... messes with your head!

Recently I try to just ignore and dont respond but when she plays the dummie card as in through emails saying she didht know the kids blocked me off their phones, when shes the one who has done it, I just have to pull her on it.

See what I mean? Why? Why state the obvious? Your ex is pulling every trick in the book to wind you up, and you're taking the bait! STOP!!! Just ignore her and note the fact you have been blocked from children's phones. Record everything that happens. Date, time - the lot.

Deedee3

MissShihTzu wrote: »

See what I mean? Why? Why state the obvious? Your ex is pulling every trick in the book to wind you up, and you're taking the bait! STOP!!! Just ignore her and note the fact you have been blocked from children's phones. Record everything that happens. Date, time - the lot.

Fresh start so....... come the next court date I'll have a list the length of my arm.
I dont understand why people like that get away with carrying on like that.

AulWan

Put in an application for full custody and day to day care and control of your children, on the grounds that your children have a legal right to a relationship with both parents but your ex is denying their rights by not facilitating this with her constant denial of access.

Put it to the judge that if you were their custodial parent then you would be willing to be very accommodating of the mother having regular access, (have a plan ready).

You won't win on the first try, but it might shake her up a bit.

(*if you already have a date for a hearing, you can have this application added to it, to be heard on the same date once there is time to give her two weeks notice by summons).

Cork Trucker

AulWan wrote: »

Put in an application for full custody and day to day care and control of your children, on the grounds that your children have a legal right to a relationship with both parents but your ex is denying their rights by not facilitating this with her constant denial of access.

Put it to the judge that if you were their custodial parent then you would be willing to be very accommodating of the mother having regular access, (have a plan ready).

You won't win on the first try, but it might shake her up a bit.

(*if you already have a date for a hearing, you can have this application added to it, to be heard on the same date once there is time to give her two weeks notice by summons).

There is a flip side to that, even though the ex would know that such an application is highly unlikely to succeed it would sour relations still further and create bigger problems down the line, admittedly it isn't a tactic i've seen tried very often in my years going in and out of court

AulWan

I know someone who did it after dealing with years of constant denial of access with no consequences for the mother

He knew full well going into court that his chances of being awarded day-to-day custody was pretty much zero, but he figured he couldn't be any worse off by applying and what it did achieve was it brought the possibility of a change of custody front and centre, because once he made a formal application for it, the judge was obliged to hear it and actually consider his case for custody.

He didn't win custody, but the Judge did advise the mother after that hearing that if they came before him again due to her denying access for no justifiable reason, then he would seriously consider revising that decision in any future applications for full custody.

She was much better mannered after that.

Cork Trucker

AulWan wrote: »

I know someone who did it after dealing with years of constant denial of access with no consequences for the mother

He knew full well going into court that his chances of being awarded day-to-day custody was pretty much zero, but he figured he couldn't be any worse off by applying and what it did achieve was it brought the possibility of a change of custody front and centre, because once he made a formal application for it, the judge was obliged to hear it and actually consider his case for custody.

He didn't win custody, but the Judge did advise the mother after that hearing that if they came before him again due to her denying access for no justifiable reason, then he would seriously consider revising that decision in any future applications for full custody.

She was much better mannered after that.

It's a rarity to put manners on a woman in the family law court, women usually expect that to happen to men. The most recent judge i was before issued a warning to both me and the ex, it was adhered to until the matter went back to court last year for an interim order in our absence when she realised it was a different judge again so the status quo resumed. Thank god i'm near the end of it.