Thinking of starting a local Dads club

RobAMerc

hi all,

I know of a couple of similar aged lads around my neighbourhood, some of them I see at GAA some of them I salute in the street, but not much more.

One thing we have in common is we are Dads of kids of different ages.

I was considering sending out a WhatsApp asking them to meet up, 1 Thursday a month in the local pub, and invite their friends.

Do folks think this is OK to do something like this?

NIMAN

You'll have to clear it with all the OH's first!

antix80

Just be careful how you advertise it. You don't want a bunch of leather daddies showing up ala arrested development.

GhostofKNugget

What would be the point of it? Would you be high-fiving each other because you all impregnated someone?

Just because someone else has a functioning ballsac like myself doesn't necessarily mean I'd want to hang out with them.

Thoie

Start by sounding a few of them out while waiting for the kids - see if anyone wants to get coffee (with the kids) after training. Once there's a few of you who go for coffee the odd time, and you're sure you like them, suggest monthly drinks.

Once 3+ of you have picked a night, you could then send a message to the group along the lines of "Mack, Mick and I are heading to The Pub on Thursday around 9pm if anyone would like to join us - hoping to make it a monthly thing for anyone who's free on the night".

Doop

GhostofKNugget wrote: »

What would be the point of it? Would you be high-fiving each other because you all impregnated someone?

Just because someone else has a functioning ballsac like myself doesn't necessarily mean I'd want to hang out with them.

I figure the point of it is to make new friends! Our female counterparts really are better at understanding/doing this sort of thing

brevity

GhostofKNugget wrote: »

What would be the point of it? Would you be high-fiving each other because you all impregnated someone?

Just because someone else has a functioning ballsac like myself doesn't necessarily mean I'd want to hang out with them.

Sort of like a men’s shed I assume.

nthclare

Sounds like something my brother could do with, he's constantly waiting hand on foot for his delicate wife.

Has to ask permission to go to the local shop he's told he's enough exercise from walking to work while she drives in the opposite way to the gym and picks up chad on the way , he's a broken man.

I find it hard to comprehend why men and women these days can't do something without approval and permission from possessive partners both male and female are at this behaviour.
Neither are better or worse.

Just head out and meet your mates, you shouldn't have to think about it or plan it just do it

RobAMerc

I think he are missing the point a bit here. I am looking for an in with a few local lads to make new friends.
We live near each other, are the same age, are men, and have kids of similar ages. I would have thought friendships have been forged out of less.

I don’t need a pass to go to the pub, but others might.

From a neighborhood perspective wit can only help too no? ( unless we all get pissed up and wreck the place 😀 )

RobAMerc

GhostofKNugget wrote: »

What would be the point of it? Would you be high-fiving each other because you all impregnated someone?

Just because someone else has a functioning ballsac like myself doesn't necessarily mean I'd want to hang out with them.

Jesus

RobAMerc

RobAMerc wrote: »

I was considering sending out a WhatsApp asking them to meet up, 1 Thursday a month in the local pub, and invite their friends.

I am with Thoie on this one - no real benefit of doing it over Whatsapp. It is going to be a social club where you have to communicate with each other face to face. Start as you mean to go on - but start small.

Or even better bring some drinks (nothing strong - many will be driving home) for after a training or a game and hand them out after - especially after a win - and do a toast. Conversation starts - good times - then just at the end say "Actually this bevvie was fun - we should do something like this regular" and go from there.

GhostofKNugget wrote: »

What would be the point of it? Would you be high-fiving each other because you all impregnated someone?

Doubtful. Many such clubs are for people to bond over a shared life experience or situation. For example expat groups are popular. Do you think they high five each other over simply having left their relative home countries? No - they meet and bond over their shared experience of living in a foreign land.

With a Dads Club I imagine the point of meeting would be to socialize with other people who are not just Dads - but for some reason like support or connection or misc other - feel they would benefit from time spent with other dads.

Or if nothing else - the point of it would just to be to break some ice and meet some peeps. Is that so bad?

Fireball81

Quite like the idea of this, am not from Dublin but my wife is, it's harder (I think) to make friendships when you are older and have kids.

Jurgen The German

GhostofKNugget wrote: »

What would be the point of it? Would you be high-fiving each other because you all impregnated someone?

Just because someone else has a functioning ballsac like myself doesn't necessarily mean I'd want to hang out with them.

Maybe not but speaking from experience it can be very difficult to make friends. I'm 40 and have two kids under 3, I'm from the country originally but have been living in Dublin for the last 10 years or so. Most of my school friends dont live in Dublin and the friends I made up here were mainly drinking buddies and I rarely do that anymore. I went to a local mens shed that started up but was the youngest there by at least 20 years.

Just cos you wouldn't be into it doesn't mean others wouldn't be.

LoughNeagh2017

Sounds like the opposite of an incel gathering, I am a kisless hugless virgin, more common than you think, some men just aren't confident in talking about it. I feel as though childless men are looked down upon by fathers, for example they would often make comments about you having no responsibilities and such. By the sounds of some men nowadays you would think they had children just to keep up with the social standards. I mentioned this to my car mechanic recently, about how people just have wives and children because they think that's what they are supposed to do.

Balmed Out

Im in a kind of blow in whats app group of dads not from the area originally, might meet up every few months for a big match or something.

Fireball81

LoughNeagh2017 wrote: »

Sounds like the opposite of an incel gathering, I am a kisless hugless virgin, more common than you think, some men just aren't confident in talking about it. I feel as though childless men are looked down upon by fathers, for example they would often make comments about you having no responsibilities and such. By the sounds of some men nowadays you would think they had children just to keep up with the social standards. I mentioned this to my car mechanic recently, about how people just have wives and children because they think that's what they are supposed to do.

An expensive way of keeping up with so called social.standards!

Plopsu

Deleted User wrote: »

Or even better bring some drinks (nothing strong - many will be driving home) for after a training or a game and hand them out after - especially after a win - and do a toast. Conversation starts - good times - then just at the end say "Actually this bevvie was fun - we should do something like this regular" and go from there.

You're writing a rom-com, aren't you. :pac:

Lyan

Fireball81 wrote: »

An expensive way of keeping up with so called social.standards!

It's an underrated pet peeve. I cringe and lose respect for someone when they haughtiliy complain about the difficulties of being a family man as if it makes my own life problems meaningless. It's sort of funny when they use their boasted responsibility to squirm out of important responsibilities in other areas of their life such as competently doing the job they are distracting me from.

Pawwed Rig

RobAMerc wrote: »

I think he are missing the point a bit here. I am looking for an in with a few local lads to make new friends.
We live near each other, are the same age, are men, and have kids of similar ages. I would have thought friendships have been forged out of less.

I don’t need a pass to go to the pub, but others might.

From a neighborhood perspective wit can only help too no? ( unless we all get pissed up and wreck the place 😀 )

I did it a while ago. A group of us went to a comedy show. Those who wanted to go went and those who didn't- didn't. Go for it

TheBoyConor

Be careful how you do this. Don't want to have a situation where it might be misinterpreted as some sort of ring.

Tacitus Kilgore

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Be careful how you do this. Don't want to have a situation where it might be misinterpreted as some sort of ring.

A wedding ring?

Pawwed Rig

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Be careful how you do this. Don't want to have a situation where it might be misinterpreted as some sort of ring.

Huh?

GhostofKNugget

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Huh?

He's trying to take the piss like he did in this thread...

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2058045223

SusieBlue

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Be careful how you do this. Don't want to have a situation where it might be misinterpreted as some sort of ring.

There are plenty of mother & baby groups already in existence, across every town & city in the country.
Do you worry they'll be perceieved as some sort of "ring" too, or is your prejudice only towards men/fathers?

DavyD_83

Where abouts are you OP?
I've thought about something similar myself but never gone ahead, mostly because of gear of recordings like above and I don't have any contact numbers.

For me, the issue is that most of my existing friends live in different areas and/or don't have kids. Without entering to sound like too much of a sad case, I have nowhere to make new friends.

Active friendships revolve around common ground, and at the moment I don't have a whole lot on common with them on a daily basis. I work 9-5, and my wife is at home, she meets other mum's at school gates, activities etc, and presumably gravitate towards those she gets on with best.
But at the moment I have v little opportunity to meet like-minded dads, which would be nice.
I'm open to making friends with mum's or people without kids too, but dads seems like a logical starting point.

Obviously there are other dads, and potential friends in work, but I've always been a person who keeps work and other aspects of life very separate. I have tried to change this, but that's more a personal development thing,..
As OP said it would be nice to havve done connection to locals and neighbours.

ancapailldorcha

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Be careful how you do this. Don't want to have a situation where it might be misinterpreted as some sort of ring.

No more of this please.

RobAMerc

People are reading far too much into the Dads thing. I called it that because the cohort of folks I know on this level are dads, coz that’s where I meet them. Singles and all are welcome, I just don’t have a WhatsApp group with them in it.

And for those trying to act persecuted against for not having kids....

You’re issues aren’t with me my friend.

JustAThought

I think its a great idea & the name is clear & catchy - you’d want to have a strapline to make sure you attract the age-profile for the dads you want to hang around with - not just old timer dads or gran-dads. few signs up at a school gate or playground -are you a dad with kids age 2-6 - meet other dads every second X day in Y’s bistro. Leaves people free to have food but not drink and to drag their kids along if they want - you might get chatting over the kids but form a splinter group to drink at weekends/whenever! make a joke of it and in tiny writing at the end say you must have a penis to be a member! Will stop the wives & working women thinking it is a singles dating club or a mixed mother and fathers group which I think will defeat your purpose!

ongarboy

Interesting reading some of the posts from some guys projecting their hangups about not being dads (or partnered) on someone's harmless meet up /social group initiative!

OP, I'm on at least 4 Facebook groups for Residents association, management company, neighborhood watch and tidy towns (100s of people from my area on them). They might be a good way of initially connecting with guys from your locality. If similar exist in your area, maybe PM the admins of those FB groups to ask can you post your suggestion on those pages to see if members would be interested? Those that are can PM you back and you can form a whatsapp group that way.

I would extend it to guys that aren't dads too (hopefully none with the aforementioned hangups though..) as you could be missing out on some great social/friendship connections by restricting the target group.

Good luck!

Drakus

GhostofKNugget wrote: »

What would be the point of it? Would you be high-fiving each other because you all impregnated someone?

Just because someone else has a functioning ballsac like myself doesn't necessarily mean I'd want to hang out with them.

Women, mothers esp do this all the time. The school class mothers, the gaa mothers etc. The point is the meetings would evolve. You could do lunches, dinners and maybe even trips abroad. I think it's a great idea. Also in the event of issues in an area you have a readymade forum to discuss what can be done or hoe people can help.

s7ryf3925pivug

Yes it's grand.

If you involve kids you'll need insurance and probably garda vetting, and you can get a grant from the council (not big).

Just a matter of luck who comes. Even if there is a positive response, one oddball can be enough to put everyone else off.

Pawwed Rig

Alicia Greasy Fowl wrote: »

Yes it's grand.

If you involve kids you'll need insurance and probably garda vetting, and you can get a grant from the council (not big).

No you wouldn't. What parents choose to do with their children is entirely up to them. Informal meet ups need none of what you say.

s7ryf3925pivug

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

No you wouldn't. What parents choose to do with their children is entirely up to them. Informal meet ups need none of what you say.

If you do it without insurance and a kid slips or bites another kid you risk getting sued. Something similar happened to an in-law with this type of group.

If you attempt to make use of a community hall or similar location for something like this, almost all of them will require proof of insurance. I'm pretty sure the only ones that don't are supposed to. My wife set up two parent and baby groups and that was what she found.

She already had garda vetting as far as I remember so dunno for sure if you need that but I would think you probably do if looking for a grant - which you might need to cover the cost of the insurance.

You can take a fiver from everyone to cover expenses but you'll be at risk of taking the hit personally if not enough fivers come in to cover it.

Pawwed Rig

The OP never mentioned bringing kids. He was looking to go for beers with other Dads.

Meeting someone for a 'playdate'does not require insurance and Garda vetting.

s7ryf3925pivug

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

The OP never mentioned bringing kids. He was looking to go for beers with other Dads.

Meeting someone for a 'playdate'does not require insurance and Garda vetting.

Never said he did. But a group based on parenthood seems likely to have activities involving kids. If you are the organizer and someone has an accident they might sue you. If you have insurance for the group then they sue the organiszation that is the group instead of you personally and the insurance will deal with it.

As I said my wife has done two and her sister did one. Her sister was getting sued personally just based on the fact she was the organizer. You can say it's just an informal playdate with friends if you want but that doesn't mean everyone else will view it that way.

Anyway gonna leave it there. This struck me as useful info based on indirect experience. Annoying to get drawn into squabbles about it.