2 Year Old Won't Sleep - Afraid of the Wind

fits

I think I’ve posted already I’d take her into the bed. You all need your sleep. She will grow out of this phase. And consider replacing the cot with a mattress on the floor. You will have to do this soon enough anyway. It’s easier to settle while resting yourself.

shesty

OP, if you are happy to bring her into bed with you, then do.If you think she would sleep.The first year with two smallies is a tough time.
Mine grew out of noticing sounds after 5 or 6 months.But it didn't disturb their sleep.I know she says she is scared, but I don't think car headlights or wind is loud enough to actually disturb heavy sleep (or are they, where you are?) And wake her, so I think she is not settling into a deep enough sleep for some reason.Outside of that I am afraid it might be time to chat to a sleep consultant, because you all need sleep.

mirrorwall14

Is there any possibility of swapping her room?

Alternatively I’d probably just sleep beside her on the floor. I’m not one for bringing them in the bed unless it’s illness but that’s just me

OREGATO

Thanks again for replies.

We are reluctant to let her in the bed with us, we have only done it a handful of times but having her flailing around or waking early and jumping on us is something we don't want.. although if she slept better it might be better than what we are going through now. I don't want to create a habit for her jumping into our bed for the next few years. I know they outgrow it but it's something I want to avoid if I can.

Last night I ended up sleeping in her room on the floor with a pillow and duvet from 12 to 2, I snook back into my own bed at 2 but then she woke again at 4 and I ended up back on the floor in her room from 4.30 to 6.30.

The wind and car noise are definitely loud enough but I agree they don't wake her from her deep sleep. The past month, from when she falls asleep until 11 or 12 she won't stir with the wind/car noise for the first few hours however after that initial deep sleep phase, any sound like a taxi passing up the road will rouse her and she's super difficult to get back down. We live in a cul de sac and there are cars passing but not that frequently. The wind the last two nights have been super loud..

We are trying to work out moving her to a back bed room to see if that might help but might be a while before we get that in gear as we have other personal stuff pressing on us too.

Tonight she took over an hour and 20 minutes to settle. Not much noise but was constantly giddy and so hard to settle, last night she was hard to settle but she was scared of each huge gust she kept not being able to fall asleep, tonight she was just giddy or just not going to sleep. I'm really sick of my evenings sitting on a landing for hours on end trying to put her down to bed.

She finally went to sleep at 820 then stirred at midnight. I went in and she went through a bout of screaming and saying no daddy. My poor wife had to go in and she sort of settled for her, in that she'll stay down in the cot and whimper now and again, requiring my wife to talk her back down.. so frustrating that she just wouldn't settle for me.

Edit: it's 1245 and she's settled by wife. It took her 20 minutes to settle her.

Edit 2: nope she stirred again but at least this time I was able to go in and try calm her.

Would a sleep consultant be able to deal with such a weird problem such as a phobia of certain noises or are we going to be flushing the money down the drain and still be stuck with these horrendous nights? I really don't want to carelessly try throw money to make this problem go away..

Anyone any dealings or have gotten sleep consultants in themselves?

fits

I actually wonder if first port of call might be a GP just to give her a check over. Sometimes there might be an underlying reason for something like this.

Don’t worry about bad habits. You need to deal with the problem you have in front of you now. If other problems come up you can deal with them as they arise.

If it’s any reassurance my two sleep in their own rooms most of the night most of the time and we have no issues at the moment.

No advice on sleep consultants except stay away from the cry it out types.

Vegetarian2017

It is a hard one, I didn't have this issue with my toddler. All I can say is it is a stage and it will pass hopefully soon.

iamwhoiam

When one of mine was a toddler fadó fadó we had a problem with. Something under her bed . She was scream and cry and the Something was scary and wake her up . We tried everything , talking to her , consoling her , telling her there was no Something to harm her

One night my husband had enough and he was determined to get rid of Something . Before our little girl got into bed he got the sweeping brush and a dust pan and a big bucket
He told our daughter to open the bedroom door , he got the brush and swept Something out from under the bed , scooped it up and into the bucket . He put a lid on the bucket and straight into the car . He told he he was going out to the sea and was going to dump Something in the sea
My daughter clapped and cheered and we never once again heard a word about Something scaring her !!


Now my rambling post is to say that instead of explaining that the wind or cars won’t harm her maybe acknowledge them and deal with them
For example buy a Guardian for her . A teddy or rabbit or whatever that does not let wind or cars scare her . The Guardian is her friend who guards her and no wind or cars or taxies are allowed scare her anymore
They can blow or drive or whistle all the like they won’t get past the Guardian ever !!

OREGATO

iamwhoiam wrote: »

When one of mine was a toddler fadó fadó we had a problem with. Something under her bed . She was scream and cry and the Something was scary and wake her up . We tried everything , talking to her , consoling her , telling her there was no Something to harm her

One night my husband had enough and he was determined to get rid of Something . Before our little girl got into bed he got the sweeping brush and a dust pan and a big bucket
He told our daughter to open the bedroom door , he got the brush and swept Something out from under the bed , scooped it up and into the bucket . He put a lid on the bucket and straight into the car . He told he he was going out to the sea and was going to dump Something in the sea
My daughter clapped and cheered and we never once again heard a word about Something scaring her !!


Now my rambling post is to say that instead of explaining that the wind or cars won’t harm her maybe acknowledge them and deal with them
For example buy a Guardian for her . A teddy or rabbit or whatever that does not let wind or cars scare her . The Guardian is her friend who guards her and no wind or cars or taxies are allowed scare her anymore
They can blow or drive or whistle all the like they won’t get past the Guardian ever !!

Thanks for all the replies and experiences.

We've tried hard to acknowledge them and told her that her teddies will protect her but to no avail. It's tough because the cars are passing at random times which means that if they pass at a time when she's nearly asleep, it'll spook her awake and she'll be scared again.

We've pushed bedtime back to 715pm now from 640pm, the first night went ok, with her stirring at 1030pm, easily settled and then sleeping through to her wake up time of 7am.

The second night (last night) was a bit of a disaster as she took until close to 815 before she settled and then she woke at midnight until around 2am hysterical, saying no daddy no daddy.

This phase has been over a month now, we've tried a lot of things but we're not getting anywhere. It's draining especially with a 4 month old in the house.

Skybirdjb

OREGATO wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies and experiences.

We've tried hard to acknowledge them and told her that her teddies will protect her but to no avail. It's tough because the cars are passing at random times which means that if they pass at a time when she's nearly asleep, it'll spook her awake and she'll be scared again.

We've pushed bedtime back to 715pm now from 640pm, the first night went ok, with her stirring at 1030pm, easily settled and then sleeping through to her wake up time of 7am.

The second night (last night) was a bit of a disaster as she took until close to 815 before she settled and then she woke at midnight until around 2am hysterical, saying no daddy no daddy.

This phase has been over a month now, we've tried a lot of things but we're not getting anywhere. It's draining especially with a 4 month old in the house.

I don’t even know what to say but my god it must be so tough at this stage ! My fella was up last night 9pm till 5am I was loosing my mind !! He had a nightmare I recon and wouldn’t go back in the cot so up all night

fits

Bedtime seems early to me. But they are all different. It’s 8 pm here.

bee06

fits wrote: »

Bedtime seems early to me. But they are all different. It’s 8 pm here.

Yeah, bedtime for my 2 year old starts at 8 and he’s asleep for 9. He still has a 1.5 to 2 hour nap during the day and is awake by 6.30 every morning.

Skybirdjb

How are things now op ??

fits

Off topic but I woke up at 6.30 this morning realising that I hadnt been disturbed by one of my boys all night (he usually stirs around 4am). I genuinely feared for his safety! Walked into his room and he was sitting up in the bed happy out.

OREGATO

Skybirdjb wrote: »

How are things now op ??

Things have gotten slightly better? I don't know to be honest.

We reread some chapters of Lucy Wolfes book on putting her down to bed and the last 4 nights we've resorted to sitting in the room, patting her back/bell until she falls asleep, what you're meant to do each night is move out further and further from the bed.

The bedtime routine starts now at 7.10pm and she's lying in her cot by 7.30 but takes until 8pm to fall asleep the last few nights.

She has woken up but was easier to settle since we've done this as bedtimes are generally a lot more calmer without her getting upset when we leave the room etc.

Last night of course was difficult due to the wind She woke at midnight and I ended up just sleeping on the floor for most of the night beside her. She stirred again at 4am I left the room to get into my own bed and at 5am she woke hysterical again and was hard to settle.

Sleeping on the floor is not ideal but what can I do? It's like over the past month she's completely forgotten how to sleep or all this being scared stuff has really messed up any progress we made with her sleep. It's frustrating..

We've decided to try and move her into one of the back bedrooms as it's certainly a lot less noisy than the front room, it's just going to take a few days to get sorted as there is tonnes of stuff to move etc.

OREGATO

We had 2 maybe 3 ok nights? She was easier settled but tonight has been bad. She's screamed her head off for no daddy and no mammy. More so no daddy and she's gone beserk if I've gone near her. She was really hard to put down and only my wife could settle her at bedtime. She keeps saying no bed and she wants to go downstairs. This is new as she hasn't said that before.

She's been screaming for the past 30 minutes and I couldn't calm her and needed to wake her mother to calm her. It was like I was a stranger to her or something and she just kept screaming full volume at me with no, no daddy, no bed.

She did seem a bit more scared after creche today but they never reported anything.

Has anyone ever had this with their child? Is this normal? I'm not sure where to turn.

fits

Go to your GP and just get her checked over.

One of my boys will sometimes have tantrums and scream 'no daddy' and 'downstairs' at bedtime. Usually its when he's not tired after having a nap in the day or something. When he is tired there's no real issue and he's usually fine throughout the night. If he calls out for me though, i just go in and lie beside him (double bed) until he is asleep and sneak out again. Or sometimes I fall asleep too and that's fine as well.

bee06

My 2 year old will have nothing to do with Daddy for bedtime. He has a huge meltdown if I even suggest it. Just going with it for now because it won’t last forever. He doesn’t really wake at night thankfully but the odd time he does it’s all about me as well.

scarepanda

The no daddy thing is probably just a phase, and also because your the one actually physically there in that moment it's easy for your child to say no daddy. My 3.5yr old wouldn't let daddy go near her at bed time a while ago, now no one else will do but daddy. Most nights she won't let me near her and it's all 'daddy do it, daddy do it'.

shesty

Also - she may realise it's the one time of the day she can command mammy's entire attention. It is all part of the package possibly.
I empathise OP, it is very rough on you and your wife. If you can just keep responding consistently to her every night, hopefully it will pass sooner rather than later.

Digs

A new baby really is such a huge adjustment for siblings, the majority of which doesn’t register with us as adults I don’t think. I have 3 children and it’s only in hindsight that I realise the wonky behaviour of the first and second kids made sense, it was a reaction to the new baby. At the time it was just seriously trying for myself and my husband to deal with *on top* of a new baby, when I think of it I blocked a lot of it out but I remember the majority of it translated into bedtime battles. It’s very frustrating for you and your wife that there may not be a solution bar roughing it out but these phases are transient, they don’t last forever. Loads of reassurance for her. Have you or your wife managed much one on one time with her? Could your wife take her out for an hour alone etc?

I would also suggest bringing her to your GP for a quick check up for nothing else but to put your mind at ease.

OREGATO

Hi folks,

Just wanted to give an update. We have moved her into the back bedroom on Thursday night and she appears to be adjusting well. The wind noise at the back is dramatically reduced and you can't hear any cars from the road.

She has still stirred over night the past few nights but it's been easier putting her back down and I haven't had to sleep on the floor in the back bedroom just yet. There was only one or two instances where she was hysterical over night which is an improvement. I've probably gone and jinxed it now.

She's been hard to put down one or two nights as she was quite active and hyper even though we had an hour of calm before bed time. But hopefully we will get through that.

I'm working on trying to leave the room while she's still awake so she can fall asleep without me in there.. will see how it goes.. I'll keep this thread updated. Thanks a million for all the replies, advice and support. You don't know how much it's helped me!

iamwhoiam

OREGATO wrote: »

Hi folks,

Just wanted to give an update. We have moved her into the back bedroom on Thursday night and she appears to be adjusting well. The wind noise at the back is dramatically reduced and you can't hear any cars from the road.

She has still stirred over night the past few nights but it's been easier putting her back down and I haven't had to sleep on the floor in the back bedroom just yet. I've probably gone and jinxed it now.

She's been hard to put down one or two nights as she was quite active and hyper even though we had an hour of calm before bed time. But hopefully we will get through that.

I'm working on trying to leave the room while she's still awake so she can fall asleep without me in there.. will see how it goes.. I'll keep this thread updated. Thanks a million for all the replies, advice and support. You don't know how much it's helped me!

Well done !! Just remember when she gets to 13 you will be dragging her out of the bed every morning !!!
I had one who wouldn’t eat a blessed thing , she is now an adult who sends me photos of her fabulous dinners . This too shall pass

appledrop

Great to hear things have improved! I was actually wondering how you were getting on with never ending storms we are currently having.

Our little boy would be a good sleeper but even he has been woken up recently with stormy weather at night + asked us why the weather is so noisy!

I hope the settled sleep continues + you all get more rest.

shesty

Ah I am glad for you Oregato.The phases are just so hard.My mantra,particularly once the second arrived, used to be (is still!) "Tomorrow is another day".I found the first year with 2 particularly hard, it is very challenging to balance their needs,but it does get easier as the second one gets bigger.

Skybirdjb

Ah I’m so glad things are getting a bit better was actually thinking about you at the weekend when it was so windy

OREGATO

Thanks for the replies folks.

Well I obviously jinxed it. Tonight she woke up 1.5 hours after going to sleep and she is having a super massive meltdown, like I've never seen her this hysterical. No consoling her from me or her mammy.

She seemed very shouty today after creche but they didn't say anything about her behaviour or anything at all.

We did give her younger sister some of her old toys from the attic this evening which made her annoyed but she seemed to be ok after a while, not sure if related...

It's frightening how big a meltdown she is having! And to think we had a few ok nights and now this..

iamwhoiam

OREGATO wrote: »

Thanks for the replies folks.

Well I obviously jinxed it. Tonight she woke up 1.5 hours after going to sleep and she is having a super massive meltdown, like I've never seen her this hysterical. No consoling her from me or her mammy.

She seemed very shouty today after creche but they didn't say anything about her behaviour or anything at all.

We did give her younger sister some of her old toys from the attic this evening which made her annoyed but she seemed to be ok after a while, not sure if related...

It's frightening how big a meltdown she is having! And to think we had a few ok nights and now this..

I am so sorry to hear she had such a meltdown . Could she be having night terrors ? Its worth reading about them and maybe how to deal with it
Poor little thing sounds terrified

LegacyUser

OREGATO wrote: »

Thanks for the replies folks.



She seemed very shouty today after creche but they didn't say anything about her behaviour or anything at all.

We did give her younger sister some of her old toys from the attic this evening which made her annoyed but she seemed to be ok after a while, not sure if related...

It's frightening how big a meltdown she is having! And to think we had a few ok nights and now this..

both our daughters used to have meltdowns the same, i think like others said it's a reaction to stresses, whether that is something that happened at creche or the sibling getting some of their favourite toys, our eldest talks in her sleep so you hear all about her day as her brain re lives it at night, we noticed on days she had a bad incident or an injury (cut knee) for example, that night would be worse than others,


i'm not sure if it helps as you know your daughter best and what she is ready for, but we found with our youngest playing up the "big girl" card helped a lot with her, for example could you try moving her out of a cot and into a "big girl bed" with her favourite bedding? (even a toddler bed if the large size of a single bed overwhelms her), let her go with you to the shop and pick it out...let her have her say in things she can control... even having the ability to move in and out of bed without needing her parents might stop her calling for you all the time, maybe its a panic at being trapped in a cot when the wind blows...

plus it will help with potty training which will be coming up soon.

and the you have "big girl toys" "so do you really want these baby toys anymore? or will we give them to the baby?" sometimes them having an input in the choice of handing over their old stuff makes it less stressful on them... like our eldest had no problems handing most "baby toys" over, but there were one or two toys she was surprisingly close to and she was adamant not to hand over so we told her we'd put them out of the baby's reach where only she could have them, that helped a lot.



definitely get rid of the dodo/dummy as soon as it's feasible but don't make too many drastic changes at once, Santa exchanges dummy's/dodo's in this house for toys with an age for 3 year old+, he even found the hidden ones... i've heard of birthday fairies doing the same, or birdies....etc or just giving them to "other babies"... once they hit 3(ish) they get VERY attached to comfort things and it can be a blanket or teddies (make sure you buy 2 of the favourite as soon as you know what it is) or if they have them dummy's/dodo's...which are hard to take away once they are the comforter where they can have a teddy or blanket until they are 20+...

OP is it possible your little girl is feeling deeply insecure and this is manifesting itself as fear of the wind? A new baby in the house can be disruptive for other children. Your daughter might be uncertain in her world right now. Her life is made up of mum and dad and she needs absolutely needs, mum and dad to make her feel safe. They don't have the ability at 2 to self soothe or understand their emotions and changes in the family.

How is she around the new baby? How is her mood generally throughout the day? Are her emotional needs being met consistently? I'm not for a minute suggesting anything untoward here but lives are busy and you both must be wrecked. Something that seems small can have an impact. For example if the little one asks to be picked up do you or do you say "not right now"?

You can't be at her beck and call 24/7 but have a think if there is more to be done on an emotional level.

OREGATO

Thanks for the replies. We had 3 good ish nights but last night was bad again, she woke up just past midnight and it was 2am before I got her settled, she kept wanting to get out of her cot. In the end, I had to sleep on the floor in the room with her, this was the first time I've done that since she's been in the back bedroom, the wind was strong last night and you could hear it in the back, I'm not sure if that was a factor but she did wake at one point crying about the wind. Feeling sore and tired this morning as a result.

@Persepoly, she's really good normally around her baby sister, sometimes she acts out with sharing toys etc but in general she is fine. There are odd occasions where she has hit out at her baby sister, she may have been jealous. We are definitely trying our best to meet her emotional needs, like, we are aware that the new baby is a big disruptor so we always find time during the day where she'll have our undivided attention. Mammy takes her for a while on her own after creche so she gets to play and she's never neglected and we never say things like 'not right now' or tell her we're busy with her little sister.

I'm wondering about her sleep times and if we're putting her down too early, others mentioned it earlier and right now she seems to not sleep until 730/8pm while we put her down for 7.