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Does rejection ever get any easier?

  • 13-01-2020 9:14am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I, female, picked up the courage to ask a guy that I liked out. He's been single for as long as I've known him, a few years, doesn't have women lining up to see him and the turned me down. Does rejection ever get any easier?


Comments

  • #2
    zapper55
    Registered Users Posts: 684 ✭✭✭zapper55


    Its absolutely possible for it not to feel so bad if you do work on your own self esteem.

    Using the word rejection, is very emotionally loaded. They weren't interested. Could be for a million different reasons. Ive asked guys out that said no and honestly I wouldnt even see it as some sort of personal rejection, sure they'd hardly know me.

    Also your post suggests surprise that he turned you down as he doesnt seem to have many offers. Firstly you have no way of knowing that, secondly that comes across as a bit arrogant.

    I think you need to change your perception of being turned down. At the moment you are taking it very personally.


  • #3
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,085 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    You took a chance and asked. Not many do. So feel proud that you at least gave it a shot.
    Hopefully the next guy will say yes.
    Good luck


  • #4
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,383 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    Regardless of whether he has women lining up or not, he doesn't have to agree to a date just because you asked. He clearly isn't interested in you, otherwise he would have said yes. On the bright side you asked him out, it's still not as common for women to do the asking, not nice to get a rejection but at least you tried. You know he's not interested, so move on.


  • #5
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,371 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    If he’s been single for years and not encouraging attention, perhaps he’s very happily single by choice. Not necessary anything to do with you.


  • #6
    Augme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,184 ✭✭✭Augme


    When you start asking people out quite often and getting rejected quite often you get used to it.


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  • #7
    Daisy78
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,048 ✭✭✭Daisy78


    rainbowtrout wrote: »
    Regardless of whether he has women lining up or not, he doesn't have to agree to a date just because you asked. He clearly isn't interested in you, otherwise he would have said yes. On the bright side you asked him out, it's still not as common for women to do the asking, not nice to get a rejection but at least you tried. You know he's not interested, so move on.

    Maybe a more positive optimistic take on this, you asked him out and he let you know that he wasn’t interested in taking you up on that offer. Who knows for what reason, maybe he doesn’t actually want to be in a relationship with anybody. It’s not a reflection on you at all. Rejection stings a bit and it can cause you to reflect negatively on yourself but you should remind yourself that he one guy out of millions, plenty more out there. Can I ask if he showed any signs of interest? Were you going on gut instinct or was there a bit of flirting there? In other words how well do you think you read the situation?


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