Thank you

afterglow

Hi all

Hoping the mods will allow this, i just wanted to post something by way of a little update, i know that’s not usually the ethos of PI but I’ve gotten such good advice and helpful responses to my threads here

Things with my parents, both, have improved

I’m actually really liking the time i do get to spend with my little brother, i had forgotten just how kind and lovely he was
My sister, is talking about having a log cabin thingy built in the back garden, she says, so she can save, for a deposit, i now think, even if only a little she’s starting to realise just how claustrophobic she, never-mind anyone else will feel when a new baby comes along and there’s all of us in the house as well

Last week, after therapy, i had a very difficult and triggering conversation with my mum, she’s not happy that i can’t let some childhood trauma go, and whilst I’ll never apologise for what my head’s decided is same, i think maybe there are things i can do to shift relationships
When i was in therapy yesterday we talked a little about how the model they use works, and how it’s about taking accountability for one’s self, feelings, owning them etc
I mentioned that I’m always trying to meditate, have crystals, like Wayne Dyer etc, so I’m hoping all these tools together will make me be able to cope well enough
I did mention to therapist, if conversations like the one that happen on fri were a regular thing(last not this), I’d be worried that being triggered all the time would be too much
I know i can’t have every single conversation with my mum, but i certainly would like for the house to be a harmonious place for as long as I'm there, and beyond as well
I found out earlier this week, i have prolapsed dis, in my back, I’m seeing a wonderful physiotherapist for that, who’s actually a friend of my dad’s
It’s while i was lying in bed, early yesterday morning, something occurred to me
It might seem silly, but, my dad getting in touch with the PT, maybe some would take that for granted, but to me, i see it as an act of kindness, and it’s started to make me think, maybe my mum is right. A lot has changed in the time I’ve been out of the house, i haven’t experienced family life with them for ions, so instead of being pessimistic and always thinking the worse, maybe i need to give them all, a chance
To top it all off then Thursday and yesterday, my mum has spent just helping me get everything sorted out. Cancelled a contract, so she helped me bring the phone back as it was done in store, helped me get to the gp because i was seen as an emergency, to get some strong meds for my back, which thankfully are helping, and for me, most importantly, yesterday, as well as helping me get to therapy, she took time out of her day, to drive somewhere and get one of the newest iPhones sim free
I feel gratitude and maybe like there is a light at the end of the tunnel
Even having the conversation about how i was lost without my phone, could have gone bad, but didn’t
I just wanted really to say things might be looking up, and say thank you to everyone who posted
I know this is not forever strawberry fields, i just think for some reason, maybe i can be a little more open to nice experiences now, and learn lots of good stuff from therapy

Like i say, hope the mods allow this, and thanks if you’ve read