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I am new to this country and want to know why everyone is so rude.

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭dontpanic


    tuxy wrote: »
    I suspect that this may be correct but I don't see the downside in saying which county they moved to or even if it was rural or urban.

    That's very true and it does make a difference. I must say though this post of rural vs. urban brought up the memory of when i ended up down in a tiny village down the country for a birthday and I was completely and utterly baffled at the first two hours of "conversation" between lifelong friends - it was so trivial and flippant and so very many long awkward silences. It took a staggering amount of emotional intelligence for me to navigate that night successfully...Alas it was just a different way of communicating that I wasn't at all used to :D

    We can be a curious little country OP but there is a 70% chance you'll learn to love us...eventually.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,983 ✭✭✭✭tuxy


    dontpanic wrote: »
    That's very true and it does make a difference. I must say though this post of rural vs. urban brought up the memory of when i ended up down in a tiny village down the country for a birthday and I was completely and utterly baffled at the first two hours of "conversation" between lifelong friends - it was so trivial and flippant and so very many long awkward silences. It took a staggering amount of emotional intelligence for me to navigate that night successfully...Alas it was just a different way of communicating that I wasn't at all used to :D

    I live in a rural area but not that rural.
    I know exactly what you mean and I love listening in on this kind of odd communication. I find it fascinating.
    But when they try to talk to me it's so awkward because it takes me ages to figure out what they expect me to say or do.


  • Registered Users Posts: 600 ✭✭✭The Orb


    Thank you, agree. I found mind yourself threatening also, you are onto it at least.

    No, you didn't, you just made that up, it fits your broad-stroke narrative. Spoofer.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,377 ✭✭✭NSAman


    Forgive me if this ones across as negative, could the issue be with the OP? As someone who has lived in a few other countries, it is much easier to assimilate if your partner is from the same country. You have a foot hold in that country through your partner.

    It also depends on your own personality. Too serious and you are not welcomed by anyone. Open and accepting to change makes a huge difference when interacting with people. Humour is the best approach in my humble opinion and always breaks the ice with people. A smile goes a huge way when meeting people for the first time.

    I know of one chap in a similar position to the OP in Ireland, he only has himself to blame, he ignores most people in company, makes no attempt to interact with people UNTIL it is something he wants to talk about...obviously married to an Irish woman. He is hard work, personally, I have tried on many occasions to talk to him without success. His only close friend passed away recently, I am not sure how he will cope with this loss as he never spoke to anyone else except his wife and his friend in company, which i always found strange.

    There are assholes in every country, but there are also lovely people everywhere. Anywhere I have lived, I have found great people to socialise with become friends and share lives with. Ireland is no different and it is easier IMHO to find people to talk to there due to the pub and other places.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    NSAman wrote: »
    Forgive me if this ones across as negative, could the issue be with the OP?
    /QUOTE]
    I tend to agree with that. if OP is genuinely asking such questions, in current climate, I think they should rather revisit the reason that got them here. in my opinion there is nothing remarkably rude about Ireland, not more than any other country in Europe.

    PS: and why apologizing, you've been called rude no matter what you say :)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,201 ✭✭✭ongarboy


    Thanks everyone for your replies, I am starting to learn re the American/other ways of talking vs typical Irish ways. No I am not a troll not even sure how you could get that from what I wrote and the ways I've written it. I am trying to adjust and know it takes time, my way of talking and engaging with people is very different o the Irish way which is a shock to me and has been hard for me as I really thought it would be an easy transition and people here would love me - but they haven't at all and I've had racism and rudeness and a very tough time. As I said though, I am trying and will continue to do so.

    Your posts are quite unusual and I feel something is amiss. You are married to and live with an Irish woman in Ireland yet you talk about the Irish as some strange species you are discovering and learning about on your own. Why on earth isn't your wife who was born and bred here not able to explain all the nuances, traits, isms, and how the Irish engage etc or help you with how to engage/react/inform for those situations that are stressing you (and no one else)?

    I'd understand your position more if both you and your wife were from abroad and were finding it a bit alienating but no Irish partner would tell their non national other half "the best way you can immerse yourself with the Irish is by learning the Irish language or taking classes Irish culture". An open minded and informed Irish partner would also possibly challenge some of the extreme negative you have on EVERY Irish person. Is she not offended by your constant put downs of her nationality race?

    Something is amiss in all your posts. I wonder is your mental health state affecting your experiences. No normal person gets depressed due to poor customer service (temporarily annoyed maybe) yet you are completely and disproportionately over reacting just because ticket sellers, waiters, etc are not fawning all over you with superficial platitudes.

    One last question. Why are you still here if you are so miserable? Can your wife (who seems to have no obvious role or opinion in your life) move to your utopian country?


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 9,639 Mod ✭✭✭✭Manach


    MOD note:
    As the thread discussion has seemly run it's course and is outside the Humanities charter, the thread is being locked.


This discussion has been closed.
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