Issue with colleague...

GreenButterfly

I’m not sure if this is a first world problem and maybe I’m complaining over nothing but here goes!

I’ve been in my job for about a year and a half now.

About a year ago, a colleague who has been there for about 4 years, (a level above me and the second lowest in the group) told me that because I am only “in a supporting role”, my opinion doesn’t really matter and that it would best if I just did what I was asked without questioning it. This upset at the time but I got over it. She is in no way my boss, we all, as a group, have one boss and generally treat each other the same regardless of pay level. Never once has any other member in the group insinuated that they thought of me in that way. I figured that maybe she was just having a bad day and snapped; she’s human and we all have tough days.

Anyway, she has recently returned after being off on sick/personal leave for four months and is back to her old ways. She seems to think that it is okay to treat me like her PA but being more comfortable in my role now and within my self, I’ve been able to reflect these “requests” gently back in her direction e.g. she implied that I should set up her new laptop for her, something that she should be able to do for herself. When I suggested that I could show her how to do it, she wasn’t interested so talked someone else in the office into doing it. Before I arrived, part of her role was to send out meeting invites etc. Now it’s part of my role along with some new niche projects. Since the beginning she’s been asking me to remind her about meeting times etc. She, like the rest of the group, has these times on her calendar. Now that she’s back, she’s still doing it. I have, again, tactfully, pointed out to there where the dates are. No one else feels the need to ask for details that they already have.

I now feel that she wasn’t just having a bad day when she snapped at me and actually feels that way i.e. that because she is a level above me , she has the right to treat me like her PA. It is not my role and like I said, everyone else in the group takes autonomy over their own schedules.

How should I deal with this..? Feeling more confident within my role now, I want to nip this in the bud before she starts all over again. I have a few ideas on how to hand these “requests” back to her diplomatically but any other thoughts and suggestions welcome! I’m not sure if she is being lazy or an office mean girl!

intellectual dosser

I would keep it diplomatic, and simply get on with it.

From your descriptions, I'd think she has insecurity issues (and reading too far into the leave of absence maybe stress / anxiety / mental health problems?).

If you're feeling growing confidence in your role, focus on that. Stooping and engaging in your colleagues behavior isnt going to fix anything in the long run. If it continues to be a problem for you have a subtle discussion with your boss.

Good luck.

Salary Negotiator

Any time she asks you to do something just reply and ask has this request come from [manager's name]?

If she's asking you to do things face to face that she should be doing, I'd be tempted to let a task slip and then deny any knowledge of being asked to do it. She'll soon get the message.

B-D-P--

You can kindly but sternly tell her, Sorry I am too busy, I have to do XXX and XXX for this meeting or that project.

IF she argues, put the onus back on her: do you think your task is more important that XXX? do you want to tell XXX the reason I couldnt do my job is because I had to help you?

Strumms

Keep communication with her short and to the point, but a little edgy, like.. “ok look if you need ‘help’ with that or someone to do it, go say it to our manager, they can delegate, it’s not appropriate for you to attempt to delegate work to your line colleagues, it’s above ‘our’ pay grade, kindly desist.

Dav010

Strumms wrote: »

Keep communication with her short and to the point, but a little edgy, like.. “ok look if you need ‘help’ with that or someone to do it, go say it to our manager, they can delegate, it’s not appropriate for you to attempt to delegate work to your line colleagues, it’s above ‘our’ pay grade, kindly desist.

Does anyone actually talk like this?

Strumms

Dav010 wrote: »

Does anyone actually talk like this?

It’s pretty simple English, the words can be referenced in the dictionary, yes they do.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Dav010 wrote: »

Does anyone actually talk like this?

The Daleks, I think.

cloudatlas

I think you've been dealing with it impressively so far. Unless any of this escalates into bullying behaviour then you can't go to your boss. The fact that she doesn't argue with you when you deflect her requests means that she knows that it's not really in your job description to be doing these things. Unfortunately you'll just have to keep saying 'no, feck off' in a polite way.

beauf

Be so busy in your own work and do it so well that you don't have time to do any of the colleagues requests.

An Ri rua

You'll always get this in jobs. Someone who's letting it go to their head. Your primary task is to ensure that you never do anything contrary to your line manager's instructions and wishes.
It will be a question of constantly diplomatically knocking this person back.
Do not get exposed for obeying their instructions to the detriment of your real boss. Ever. Or they'll resent you also.
Looks like you're handling it well and that won't happen. Best wishes