Deal breakers and turn-off's in dating!

Deebles McBeebles

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I didn't mean it like that, but whatever you're into yourself!

Riding in exciting places, I thought that was clear :pac:

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'll just clarify, i meant looking at the ceiling in boredom, Susie got the idea!

I got it too! My attempt at humour has failed, I fear.

Earthhorse

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'll just clarify, i meant looking at the ceiling in boredom, Susie got the idea!

The sex was that bad, huh?

Wibbs

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

That is quick! What made the 2 of you bite the bullet and do it after a month?

I'm generally a go with the flow, be grand type, oft to a fault. So I thought feck it, where's the harm. She was similar. At the start anyway.

Deebles McBeebles

Wibbs wrote: »

I'm generally a go with the flow, be grand type, oft to a fault. So I thought feck it, where's the harm. She was similar. At the start anyway.

That ended ominously. I'll pry no more

lainey_d_123

Hammer89 wrote: »

This is going to sound very odd but I swear on my loved ones that it genuinely turned me off her.

I jump on and off of Tinder every now and again and this one day I matched with a lovely and pretty woman in her 20s. I was out on the town when I first messaged her, quite drunk, and I remembered in her profile that she liked facts. So I was like, 'Hey what's happening. You like me facts? Me too. Did you know Bruno Mars's first name is actually Peter.' It turned out to be a decent ice-breaker because we start bantering back and forth over the coming days, before I successfully get her number.

I was chuffed with myself and was sort of getting excited about meeting up and whatnot. I deactivate Tinder with the intention of carrying on speaking to her on Whatsapp, but when I go to message her I realise she hadn't been online in four days. Don't ask me why but I got turned off that a woman in her 20s didn't use Whatsapp regularly. I deduced that she must not have a great social status if she hadn't been online in days, and haven't spoken to her since. Listen, I realise this is completely ridiculous, to the point where it sounds made-up but it's absolutely true.

This is honestly one of the most shallow, pathetic posts I've ever read. She dodged a bullet.

Floppybits

Wibbs wrote: »

I'm generally a go with the flow, be grand type, oft to a fault. So I thought feck it, where's the harm. She was similar. At the start anyway.

i would be one those go with the flow types as well and a turn off for me would be those that have all these rules, like only replying to text after certain amount of time or worse all these rules around dating, like how many dates before doing a b or c and its the end of the world if one of these rules is broken.

Raconteuse

Difference between not having a job and just being a layabout/freeloader (no health issues). The latter would be a dealbreaker for most I'm sure, but the former can be for a number of valid reasons.

Hammer89

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

This is honestly one of the most shallow, pathetic posts I've ever read. She dodged a bullet.

I think it's a bit hypocritical to say she dodged a bullet. You're sort of making a solid judgement about me based on very little, which is what you're criticising me for?

Leg End Reject

Raconteuse wrote: »

Difference between not having a job and just being a layabout/freeloader (no health issues). The latter would be a dealbreaker for most I'm sure, but the former can be for a number of valid reasons.

The never worked type would be a no, as would the type that's fired from every job shortly after starting, tbetween jobs and actively looking would be different.

Most fun things cost money though, so you do have to be realistic.

Floppybits

Leg End Reject wrote: »

The never worked type would be a no, as would the type that's fired from every job shortly after starting, tbetween jobs and actively looking would be different.

Most fun things cost money though, so you do have to be realistic.

Some of the never worked types have more money that some of the folks out breaking their back working.

Hammer89

Johnny Sausage wrote: »

imagine if somewhere on on boards she has written a thread about some lad ghosting her for no reason or that she doesnt use whatsapp often haha

Anytime anybody gets ghosted it's for no reason basically. For whatever reason, one person gets spooked by something silly or their instincts tell them to retreat a bit. I don't think it makes the ghoster a bad person.

I've been ghosted and you could send yourself demented trying to figure out why. Should I have said this? Should I have told her this? Did that joke offend her? Does she like my beard? Should I upload a picture when I'm clean shaven? All sorts. You just have to respect the fact the other person latched on to something they didn't like and move on.

Feisar

Hammer89 wrote: »

I think it's a bit hypocritical to say she dodged a bullet. You're sort of making a solid judgement about me based on very little, which is what you're criticising me for?

Pot, kettle, black!

Ya must be taking the piss!

Ash.J.Williams

Hammer89 wrote: »

This is going to sound very odd but I swear on my loved ones that it genuinely turned me off her.

I jump on and off of Tinder every now and again and this one day I matched with a lovely and pretty woman in her 20s. I was out on the town when I first messaged her, quite drunk, and I remembered in her profile that she liked facts. So I was like, 'Hey what's happening. You like me facts? Me too. Did you know Bruno Mars's first name is actually Peter.' It turned out to be a decent ice-breaker because we start bantering back and forth over the coming days, before I successfully get her number.

I was chuffed with myself and was sort of getting excited about meeting up and whatnot. I deactivate Tinder with the intention of carrying on speaking to her on Whatsapp, but when I go to message her I realise she hadn't been online in four days. Don't ask me why but I got turned off that a woman in her 20s didn't use Whatsapp regularly. I deduced that she must not have a great social status if she hadn't been online in days, and haven't spoken to her since. Listen, I realise this is completely ridiculous, to the point where it sounds made-up but it's absolutely true.

i just did a poll in the office and we decided she went offline because you are bloke that know facts about bruno marrs, a bloke that knows anything about bruno mars is a manlet

EmmetSpiceland

I was under the impression that the “youth” weren’t using WhatsApp as much, they’re all using different apps.

Could explain the reason for being “offline” for that long.

Hammer89

Feisar wrote: »

Pot, kettle, black!

That's the point!

lainey_d_123

Hammer89 wrote: »

I think it's a bit hypocritical to say she dodged a bullet. You're sort of making a solid judgement about me based on very little, which is what you're criticising me for?

You judged a woman for not being online enough on WhatsApp and took from it that she didn't have enough social status. I think that's definitely worthy of harsh judgement. It's a sign of a very immature, shallow, sheep mentality.

Pro life tip - The most interesting people with the most exciting lives don't tend to be the ones glued to their phones 24/7.

creditcarder

Hammer89 wrote: »

This is going to sound very odd but I swear on my loved ones that it genuinely turned me off her.

I jump on and off of Tinder every now and again and this one day I matched with a lovely and pretty woman in her 20s. I was out on the town when I first messaged her, quite drunk, and I remembered in her profile that she liked facts. So I was like, 'Hey what's happening. You like me facts? Me too. Did you know Bruno Mars's first name is actually Peter.' It turned out to be a decent ice-breaker because we start bantering back and forth over the coming days, before I successfully get her number.

I was chuffed with myself and was sort of getting excited about meeting up and whatnot. I deactivate Tinder with the intention of carrying on speaking to her on Whatsapp, but when I go to message her I realise she hadn't been online in four days. Don't ask me why but I got turned off that a woman in her 20s didn't use Whatsapp regularly. I deduced that she must not have a great social status if she hadn't been online in days, and haven't spoken to her since. Listen, I realise this is completely ridiculous, to the point where it sounds made-up but it's absolutely true.

This post is strange, but I'm not big fan of the criticism tbh. Everybody has their own deal breakers.



My deal breakers are criticism at a show of confidence as it's a sighn of perhaps abuse :P That's sort of my only deal breaker.

Tell me how

creditcarder wrote: »

This post is strange, but I'm not big fan of the criticism tbh. Everybody has their own deal breakers.



My deal breakers are criticism at a show of confidence as it's a sighn of perhaps abuse :P That's sort of my only deal breaker.

Should that be "criticism as a show of confidence"?

Leg End Reject

Tell me how wrote: »

Should that be "criticism as a show of confidence"?

Probably not, criticising a confident person can be done to lower their self-esteem as a form of emotional abuse. Controlling behaviour can then follow.

pgj2015

Hammer89 wrote: »

This is going to sound very odd but I swear on my loved ones that it genuinely turned me off her.

I jump on and off of Tinder every now and again and this one day I matched with a lovely and pretty woman in her 20s. I was out on the town when I first messaged her, quite drunk, and I remembered in her profile that she liked facts. So I was like, 'Hey what's happening. You like me facts? Me too. Did you know Bruno Mars's first name is actually Peter.' It turned out to be a decent ice-breaker because we start bantering back and forth over the coming days, before I successfully get her number.

I was chuffed with myself and was sort of getting excited about meeting up and whatnot. I deactivate Tinder with the intention of carrying on speaking to her on Whatsapp, but when I go to message her I realise she hadn't been online in four days. Don't ask me why but I got turned off that a woman in her 20s didn't use Whatsapp regularly. I deduced that she must not have a great social status if she hadn't been online in days, and haven't spoken to her since. Listen, I realise this is completely ridiculous, to the point where it sounds
made-up but it's absolutely true.

great ice breaker:rolleyes: a lot of pop stars gave different real names. jesus that was lame.

2 fast

Talking about how many girls he has scored at MACRA & proceeding to order 4 courses while you just have 1... read the room lads.

creditcarder

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Probably not, criticising a confident person can be done to lower their self-esteem as a form of emotional abuse. Controlling behaviour can then follow.

True, but I was more talking about a little bit of insecurity on the woman's part rather than an emotional abuser per se. Like, if a dude starts manspreading (as one example) and an argument starts about something unrelated, then it could be a pattern imo.

Hammer89

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

You judged a woman for not being online enough on WhatsApp and took from it that she didn't have enough social status. I think that's definitely worthy of harsh judgement. It's a sign of a very immature, shallow, sheep mentality.

Pro life tip - The most interesting people with the most exciting lives don't tend to be the ones glued to their phones 24/7.

There's a difference between harsh judgement and calling a stranger a shallow and immature sheep Lainey. One of these qualifies as prejudice, the same prejudice as making a concrete assessment about a woman's social status with a potentially flimsy bit of evidence. That's why I'm calling hypocrisy. Call me a wanker until you're blue in the face, but to go after my character is something else in my view.

Hammer89

pgj2015 wrote: »

great ice breaker:rolleyes: a lot of pop stars gave different real names. jesus that was lame.

Russell Brand over here.

What fact would you have given?

Did you know Istanbul used to be known as Constantinople?
Did it yeah?
It did yeah.
Great.
Thanks. What's your number so?

Fireball81

Many years ago in London in the slug & lettece in Fulham.(it used to be referred to as the slut and legless), was on a date and later in the evening when we both had a few drinks on board, i asked if she liked anal....didn't go down very well at all surprisingly.

Never saw her again...

Loafing Oaf

Fireball81 wrote: »

Many years ago in London in the slug & lettece in Fulham.(it used to be referred to as the slut and legless), was on a date and later in the evening when we both had a few drinks on board, i asked if she liked anal....didn't go down very well at all surprisingly.

Never saw her again...

I guess she took it the wrong way...

Airyfairy12

Hammer89 wrote: »

This is going to sound very odd but I swear on my loved ones that it genuinely turned me off her.

I jump on and off of Tinder every now and again and this one day I matched with a lovely and pretty woman in her 20s. I was out on the town when I first messaged her, quite drunk, and I remembered in her profile that she liked facts. So I was like, 'Hey what's happening. You like me facts? Me too. Did you know Bruno Mars's first name is actually Peter.' It turned out to be a decent ice-breaker because we start bantering back and forth over the coming days, before I successfully get her number.

I was chuffed with myself and was sort of getting excited about meeting up and whatnot. I deactivate Tinder with the intention of carrying on speaking to her on Whatsapp, but when I go to message her I realise she hadn't been online in four days. Don't ask me why but I got turned off that a woman in her 20s didn't use Whatsapp regularly. I deduced that she must not have a great social status if she hadn't been online in days, and haven't spoken to her since. Listen, I realise this is completely ridiculous, to the point where it sounds made-up but it's absolutely true.

Do you really care what people think that much? and are you seriously that concerned with social media and how popular someone is?
Grow up, lifes too short for that carry on.

Airyfairy12

A deal breaker for me was recently enough I was messaging a guy on tinder, he seemed fairly decent so we swapped numbers and started texting. Everything was going well until I asked him how was his weekend, he told me he spent the saturday playing board games with his folks, - I dont have a close family and find it cringy and awkward when I hear people talk about hanging out with their parents but I am willing to overlook this as I know that I is me with the problem but things just went down hill from there. He said he regularly plays board games with his folks and also has board game tournaments with his friends, told me about how two of his friends got girlfriends and they had to include them into their board game tournaments and how it changed everything. He then started listing out names of board games and asked me if I knew them. I showed interest, its good to have a hobby but just said I didnt play them and I hadnt played a board game since I was about 8, thinking he'd leave it at that and move on to a different topic, he asked me what game was it then tried to guess the name of the last board game I played.
He's 38, just came across as a bit obsessive and immature.

the_syco

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

Ah here, I have a big old bush but I don't think there's any need for that. If people prefer the look and feel of shaved that's their choice. It's their box like.

Would prefer that the ladies box is trimmed or shaved; dislike getting hair caught in my teeth!

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

They're one of all time best things that's ever existed in any universe, think of all she's done for you and you can't even look her in the eye :mad:

It could be worse. If lads look at their 3rd eye at the wrong moment, we go blind :pac:

Hammer89 wrote: »

Don't ask me why but I got turned off that a woman in her 20s didn't use Whatsapp regularly.

You can hide your “Last Seen” activity from WhatsApp by changing your privacy settings. Can be used so that women aren't spammed by lads who she is ghosting that suddenly see that she's online.

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

I showed interest, its good to have a hobby but just said I didnt play them and I hadnt played a board game since I was about 8, thinking he'd leave it at that and move on to a different topic, he asked me what game was it then tried to guess the name of the last board game I played.
He's 38, just came across as a bit obsessive and immature.

Sounds like you don't share interests. Just move on. Personally, I'm 38 and play board games with a group of lads (ages of the group are between 30-55) every Thursday. Current game is war/strategy based. Weekends are for recovering from the hangovers :P

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Would not having a job turn people off? I think I'd be very hesitant to go there.

100% turnoff for the most part. Am seeing a lot of women in the 28-34 age category that don't list having a job, but have a "shopping" hobby :eek:

If she's a college student, it can depend. If she has a bit of info in the profile, swipe right, but if she list herself as a student, and the profile is bare, I swipe left.

=-=

Kids are a no-no, as I don't have the patience to deal with them.

Purple Mountain

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

A deal breaker for me was recently enough I was messaging a guy on tinder, he seemed fairly decent so we swapped numbers and started texting. Everything was going well until I asked him how was his weekend, he told me he spent the saturday playing board games with his folks, - I dont have a close family and find it cringy and awkward when I hear people talk about hanging out with their parents but I am willing to overlook this as I know that I is me with the problem but things just went down hill from there. He said he regularly plays board games with his folks and also has board game tournaments with his friends, told me about how two of his friends got girlfriends and they had to include them into their board game tournaments and how it changed everything. He then started listing out names of board games and asked me if I knew them. I showed interest, its good to have a hobby but just said I didnt play them and I hadnt played a board game since I was about 8, thinking he'd leave it at that and move on to a different topic, he asked me what game was it then tried to guess the name of the last board game I played.
He's 38, just came across as a bit obsessive and immature.

He actually sounds a bit intriguing and the fact that he's into family really impresses me.
Send him my way

Hammer89

Purple Mountain wrote: »

He actually sounds a bit intriguing and the fact that he's into family really impresses me.
Send him my way

He's going to confuse real life and board games and murder you with a revolver in the billiard room.

pgj2015

Hammer89 wrote: »

Russell Brand over here.

What fact would you have given?

Did you know Istanbul used to be known as Constantinople?
Did it yeah?
It did yeah.
Great.
Thanks. What's your number so?

I wouldnt give a fact, Im not 10. fact lol

Hammer89

pgj2015 wrote: »

I wouldnt give a fact, Im not 10. fact lol

Well it worked so the criticism is a bit weird. It's like saying something is a stupid idea for an invention after it's sold a billion units.

pgj2015

Hammer89 wrote: »

Well it worked so the criticism is a bit weird. It's like saying something is a stupid idea for an invention after it's sold a billion units.

the fact worked, ok then. :pac:

KiKi III

Have to say scrolling through AH it becomes more and more clear to me that any guy who is against feminism would not be for me.

I wouldn’t mind so much if he was somewhat indifferent but if he actively hates feminism and everything it stands for, he’s not the guy for me.

Going to the Gym is not a personality.....honestly those who go on and on about the gym are just masking their lack of interests/personality

KiKi III

KiKi III wrote: »

Have to say scrolling through AH it becomes more and more clear to me that any guy who is against feminism would not be for me.

I wouldn’t mind so much if he was somewhat indifferent but if he actively hates feminism and everything it stands for, he’s not the guy for me.

on the other side of the coin, a 3rd wave feminist, Una Mullaly/LON, obsessively blaming "the patriarchy" for everything type, being triggered by nonsense like man spreading etc would be a big no no for me

ArchXStanton

S**t tests and general toddler/stroppy behaviour

TheManthatsDan

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

I have actually discreetly put my fingers in my ears during because the noise was putting me off so much!

Where were his fingers?

KiKi III

Julius Happy Yawn wrote: »

on the other side of the coin, a 3rd wave feminist, Una Mullaly/LON, obsessively blaming "the patriarchy" for everything type, being triggered by nonsense like man spreading etc would be a big no no for me

I don’t think you’re Una’s type anyway.

Ficheall

KiKi III wrote: »

Have to say scrolling through AH it becomes more and more clear to me that any guy who is against feminism would not be for me.

I absolutely agree that a girl should ask a guy out and offer to pay for the meal.

KiKi III

Ficheall wrote: »

I absolutely agree that a girl should ask a guy out and offer to pay for the meal.

Guess I’m just a bit of a hypocrite in that regard. What can I say? I’m not perfect!

Fr_Dougal

KiKi III wrote: »

Guess I’m just a bit of a hypocrite in that regard. What can I say? I’m not perfect!

And that’s why a lot of guys have issues with ‘feminists’, it’s the hypocrisy.

KiKi III

KiKi III wrote: »

I don’t think you’re Una’s type anyway.

im devesated ....again i dont have problems with being a feminist, its just the looney offended ones, victim card playing, whinge on twitter types....work with a woman who'se just a pain to deal with as she's like that

Poor_old_gill

Turn-offs:

Smoker
Low level of education - usually wont have same interests as me
Doesnt want kids
Too dolled up all the time
Seems like a hunzo
Doesnt like doing active things
Little ambition
Doesnt like to go out and do things like drinks/brunch/etc

Likes:
Opposite to all of the above.

Ficheall

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

How many dates would you have before going on holiday with a new romantic acquaintance?

I think my most recent was 5 dates (spread out over two months, as I was traipsing around the US and Canada for a month of that), and the one before that 3 (all within a week).

It is important to find out asap whether she is the type of lady to be surprised by the airport security asking her to remove her electronics and liquids..

Ficheall

Poor_old_gill wrote: »

Low level of education - usually wont have same interests as me

What's a "low" level of education?

KiKi III

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

And that’s why a lot of guys have issues with ‘feminists’, it’s the hypocrisy.

I’m not going to argue with you Dougal. Yes, I’m a woman who identifies as feminist and also likes some old fashioned traditions as regards dating. It’s a bit hypocritical but very few people are ideologically pure and completely consistent in all their beliefs. I can only aspire to it. Like most humans, I’m a whole mess of contradictions and I’m okay with that.

Poor_old_gill

Ficheall wrote: »

What's a "low" level of education?

It's subjective

Airyfairy12

Ficheall wrote: »

I absolutely agree that a girl should ask a guy out and offer to pay for the meal.

I dont think it should be up to either the man or woman to pay for the meal, ive happily put my hand in my pocket and insisted I pay for myself.
As for the woman making the first move, ive tried this and my female friends have tried this too, it rarely ever goes well. Either they act like the girl is a crazy psycho for showing a little bit of interest, they get a big head and think they can treat her like ****, it's like they think theyre are god or something, its mad or they immediately decide she must be a slut that's desperate for the D.
I dont know what it is with allot of men but theres a good reason why women dont make the first move.