Deal breakers and turn-off's in dating!

Ficheall

Deleted User wrote: »

Feet. I like a nice pair of feet so if a date turns up in heels or sandals or whatever and has horrible feet, deal breaker. Skinny big toes are a particularly egregious offence.

This reminds me of a poster on a previous thread of the same ilk, who listed shoelaces that were tied too tight as a deal-breaker. Wasn't even in a bondage context, which one could understand.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Assetbacked wrote: »

Personal experience, yes, but also via this personal experience (i.e. friends of my friend) it is evident. It's not news to highlight that girls with daddy issues like older guys. Daddy issues does not even mean not having a dad, just one that is absent, whether physically or emotionally. These girls go for older guys as guys their own age, they say, are so immature.

Alrighty then.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Ah now. The fella who's explicitly seeking out young wans who are damaged by their sh1tty dads to bang is saying my friend has issues with men?

Yeah, stick yo dick in that childhood trauma, happy days. Make an empty threat to forward dick pics, vindictive and issues with men.

Alrighty then.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Ficheall wrote: »

This reminds me of a poster on a previous thread of the same ilk, who listed shoelaces that were tied too tight as a deal-breaker. Wasn't even in a bondage context, which one could understand.

I remember that too but then they posted an example picture and I was 100% on board. It was one of the most unattractive things I've ever seen!

farmchoice

Assetbacked wrote: »

That female friend must have some serious men hang ups.

While dick pics are lowest common denominator males, the women who get vindictive about them betray something not quite right with themselves.

is this really a thing, like do grown men actually take pictures of their cocks and send them to woman?

obviously i have heard about it but i thought it was more of a urban myth or at the very least the preserve of idiot teenagers.
why in the name of Christ would anyone think that any woman would want such a picture?

Assetbacked

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

Ah now. The fella who's explicitly seeking out young wans who are damaged by their sh1tty dads to bang is saying my friend has issues with men?

Yeah, stick yo dick in that childhood trauma, happy days. Make an empty threat to forward dick pics, vindictive and issues with men.

Alrighty then.

Never have I said it was solely to, use your phrase, "bang" them - it was a rule of not dating under 30s should I ever find myself single. However, this was admittedly not tried and tested in the real world. In addition, it only relates to dating and early dating turn-offs. It would also be further contextualised by not having kids if I found myself single and older.

I spoke about your friend by relating to her situation if I was bombarded with selfies of women's parts and felt that a reaction in line with your friend's is OTT. Is she single now and still looking?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

H3llR4iser wrote: »

However, I've known plenty of women who have the "somebody will give me a lift, I don't need to drive" mentality - it's a very tricky one to figure out, just like the following one about drinking. Usually, it takes a few months of "free taxi driver" work before you realize what's going on :mad:

Yeah, my mother doesn’t drive and lives rurally but she has some pretty strict rules in place re: lifts. It helps that she’s teetotal and never goes to pubs. She would accept lifts as little as possible and never takes lifts off couples because she believes that couple car time is when couples often talk about stuff or just have the craic and she wouldn’t want to encroach on that. She got a lift to work with a co-worker semi-regularly and was insistent on paying a yearly fee.

Mad_maxx

uses gender pronouns on social media

Feisar

So can we all agree dick pics are a no no?

KiKi III

Assetbacked wrote: »

Personal experience, yes, but also via this personal experience (i.e. friends of my friend) it is evident. It's not news to highlight that girls with daddy issues like older guys. Daddy issues does not even mean not having a dad, just one that is absent, whether physically or emotionally. These girls go for older guys as guys their own age, they say, are so immature.

And I'm not saying this in some sort of dating-tactics/creep sort of way, just highlighting this fact in the context of not dating girls over 30 if ever I find myself single in the future.

There is no non-creepy way of saying you'd happily use a woman's childhood abandonment issues to pursue her when you're much older than she is. None at all.

Raconteuse

Assetbacked wrote: »

That female friend must have some serious men hang ups.

Ah here... no she must not. Even the most sexually confident, easygoing women don't like an unsolicited dick pic, let alone a barrage of them.

SusieBlue

I get unsolicited dick pics quite regularly, I always reply informing them that I've screenshot it and that I've shared it in my group chat with my friends. I'm not lying either, I do often share them with my friends, because they're also on the receiving end of them.

This is usually met with anger about "invasions of privacy" and how I'm so disrespectful, its a pity they weren't so concerned with respecting me and invading my space.
I once opened a snapchat from a guy who I had been seeing, with his full morning glory on show. I was with company at the time in a public place and almost dropped my phone in my haste to get the picture off the screen. I was mortified in case anyone had seen.

Its highly disrespectful to send unsolicited pictures of your genitals to anyone, if you're brazen and arrogant enough to do it then be prepared to suffer the consequences, as far as I'm concerned.

Raconteuse

SusieBlue wrote: »

I get unsolicited dick pics quite regularly, I always reply informing them that I've screenshot it and that I've shared it in my group chat with my friends. I'm not lying either, I do often share them with my friends, because they're also on the receiving end of them.

This is usually met with anger about "invasions of privacy" and how I'm so disrespectful, its a pity they weren't so concerned with respecting me and invading my space.

Quite right. You've the hang-up and it reflects badly on you, not the dick pic sender.

KiKi III

SusieBlue wrote: »

I get unsolicited dick pics quite regularly, I always reply informing them that I've screenshot it and that I've shared it in my group chat with my friends. I'm not lying either, I do often share them with my friends, because they're also on the receiving end of them.

This is usually met with anger about "invasions of privacy" and how I'm so disrespectful, its a pity they weren't so concerned with respecting me and invading my space.
I once opened a snapchat from a guy who I had been seeing, with his full morning glory on show. I was with company at the time in a public place and almost dropped my phone in my haste to get the picture off the screen. I was mortified in case anyone had seen.

Its highly disrespectful to send unsolicited pictures of your genitals to anyone, if you're brazen and arrogant enough to do it then be prepared to suffer the consequences, as far as I'm concerned.

I do that too. Sometimes I post it to my Insta stories.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Accusations involving the words "cats" "bitter" "single" and "feminism" incoming in 5,4,3,2...

Assetbacked

Raconteuse wrote: »

Ah here... no she must not. Even the most sexually confident, easygoing women don't like an unsolicited dick pic, let alone a barrage of them.

But I am not defending dick pics whereas you are replying to me as if I was. This is not just about not liking them but spending far too much energy dealing with them by taking maybe ten minutes to stalk on Facebook followed by composing a reply based on the stalking.

KiKi III wrote: »

There is no non-creepy way of saying you'd happily use a woman's childhood abandonment issues to pursue her when you're much older than she is. None at all.

Well when you put it like that there isn't.

These are real issues however and it affects a lot of women. This is why you might see girls ending up with the troubled guy or with a guy who is way older. This happens and, irrespective of my observation of it, it does not necessarily mean it is correct to conclude that I would be a bad boyfriend candidate for such women in the future.

Princess Calla

farmchoice wrote: »

is this really a thing, like do grown men actually take pictures of their cocks and send them to woman?

obviously i have heard about it but i thought it was more of a urban myth or at the very least the preserve of idiot teenagers.
why in the name of Christ would anyone think that any woman would want such a picture?

Yeah it's fairly common.

When I was on a dating site about 10 years ago, they would often be the very first message received from someone.

Personally I just immediately deleted the message.

I've often wondered what the success rate is with this approach as I've yet to hear any woman admit she likes receiving them or that on receipt of message she just had to meet him there and then and get a live show!!

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

farmchoice wrote: »

is this really a thing, like do grown men actually take pictures of their cocks and send them to woman?

obviously i have heard about it but i thought it was more of a urban myth or at the very least the preserve of idiot teenagers.
why in the name of Christ would anyone think that any woman would want such a picture?

Apparently so. I left the dating pool around two years before online dating really took off so I have no personal experience of it but pretty much all my friends who have done online dating have received unsolicited dick pics.

Everlong1

I'm a long time hardcore U2 fan. While this has brought me great enjoyment in the 40 years since the band formed, it also means that I've had to put up with the significant cohort of people who think Bono is a d*ck and who insist on loudly sharing their opinion with me when they discover I'm a fan.

Was at a singles night recently and met this quite attractive lady who was clearly into her music. We got dancing and chatting. Everything going great until we got around to discussing our respective tastes in music. On learning I was a U2 fan she immediately told me about her experience sharing a flight with Bono where he - allegedly - annoyed her by being "full of himself". *sighs* Can't be sha*ging a hater I'm afraid.

Floppybits

H3llR4iser wrote: »

Problem is, people here ASSUME you to be a former ferocious alcoholic when they learn you don't drink. Experiencing it first-hand for the last 11 years. No amount of explanation that I never actually drank will suffice - and I'm not even Irish, I don't even want to imagine how bad it must be for an Irish-born on drinker.

Oh man you have no idea how bad it is? I have never drank and never will drink but the reactions of some women to that are nuts, some try get you to drink, others won't believe that getting locked doesn't appeal to you. I actually had one girl who I dated to tell me that she couldn't see me anymore because she found it hard to trust someone who didn't drink. Those are the Irish ladies, the English one have all that and can't believe you are Irish as well.

SusieBlue

Assetbacked wrote: »

But I am not defending dick pics whereas you are replying to me as if I was. This is not just about not liking them but spending far too much energy dealing with them by taking maybe ten minutes to stalk on Facebook followed by composing a reply based on the stalking.

If you got them on a regular basis it would make you feel quite sh*t about yourself actually, it would make you feel sexualised and disrespected and that's completely unwarranted when the pictures weren't even requested from the sender in the first place.

Its not so easy to ignore when a) it happens somewhat regularly or b) the person won't stop sending them (makes new accounts if you block them etc).

You'd run out of patience pretty quickly. I feel like I'm doing a public service tbh, if me screenshotting and sharing with my friends will make some assh*le think twice about doing it to another girl, its worth it.

Actions have consequences.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

KiKi III wrote: »

There is no non-creepy way of saying you'd happily use a woman's childhood abandonment issues to pursue her when you're much older than she is. None at all.

Seriously like. :pac: And what does “daddy issues” even mean? How will he find them?

KiKi III

Assetbacked wrote: »

These are real issues however and it affects a lot of women. This is why you might see girls ending up with the troubled guy or with a guy who is way older.

I know lots of men who have issues because their fathers weren't there for them growing up, were harsh on them, or made them feel like they were never good enough.

Funny enough, my first instinct isn't to fetishize it to my sexual advantage. When a man says "My father just wasn't around" we don't turn that into a kink.

Assetbacked wrote: »

This happens and, irrespective of my observation of it, it does not necessarily mean it is correct to conclude that I would be a bad boyfriend candidate for such women in the future.

I mean, it's possible a guy who says "I don't want a woman over 30 because they're clingy, I'd rather date traumatised women in their 20a" will be a great boyfriend... I guess... but I wouldn't set you up with any of my friends.

Raconteuse

sabat wrote: »

Works for one of the "big 4" professional services firms or one of the large Irish law firms.

"34, just got back from Australia/Canada after 8 years."

"World traveller"

Er yeah... utter monsters.

Assetbacked

SusieBlue wrote: »

If you got them on a regular basis it would make you feel quite sh*t about yourself actually, it would make you feel sexualised and disrespected and that's completely unwarranted when the pictures weren't even requested from the sender in the first place.

Its not so easy to ignore when a) it happens somewhat regularly or b) the person won't stop sending them (makes new accounts if you block them etc).

You'd run out of patience pretty quickly. I feel like I'm doing a public service tbh, if my screenshotting and sharing with my friends will make some assh*le think twice about doing it to another girl, its worth it.

Actions have consequences.

I would understand taking the step of threatening if b) above happened, but a) would be a step too far. Would it not be just an easy way to weed out the idiots?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Assetbacked wrote: »

Well when you put it like that there isn't.

These are real issues however and it affects a lot of women. This is why you might see girls ending up with the troubled guy or with a guy who is way older. This happens and, irrespective of my observation of it, it does not necessarily mean it is correct to conclude that I would be a bad boyfriend candidate for such women in the future.

Yup, no way to make it not sound creepy. :eek:

freshpopcorn

People who are never happy with what they have!

PmMeUrDogs

SusieBlue wrote: »

I get unsolicited dick pics quite regularly, I always reply informing them that I've screenshot it and that I've shared it in my group chat with my friends. I'm not lying either, I do often share them with my friends, because they're also on the receiving end of them.

This is usually met with anger about "invasions of privacy" and how I'm so disrespectful, its a pity they weren't so concerned with respecting me and invading my space.
I once opened a snapchat from a guy who I had been seeing, with his full morning glory on show. I was with company at the time in a public place and almost dropped my phone in my haste to get the picture off the screen. I was mortified in case anyone had seen.

Its highly disrespectful to send unsolicited pictures of your genitals to anyone, if you're brazen and arrogant enough to do it then be prepared to suffer the consequences, as far as I'm concerned.

I've had similar happen. And aside from sharing them with the girls, I've told them I'm gonna send it to their families (I have not actually done this, but i received many of them over Facebook messages). They generally send a barrage of abuse then.


Thankfully it hasn't been very frequent! One of my particularly gorgeous friends receives them regularly and does the same thing.

KiKi III

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Yup, no way to make it not sound creepy. :eek:

It's okay because he's going to be a nice Sugar Daddy :rolleyes:

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Actually, my same friend who screenshots dick pics, I've known her about five years. Before Christmas I was over at her house and we were having a snack before heading out, she had Vegemite on toast.

I remarked on it and she went "oh, I lived in Australia for two years got into it there"

Gotta say, I did like her a bit more that that was the first and not 10,000th time she'd mentioned it.

KiKi III

Back on topic:

- pestering for sex before we've even met
- bigoted in any way
- topless bathroom pics (especially when they don't have a body particularly worth showing off)
- doesn't offer to pay on the first date (I always pay my share, but not to offer comes off cheap)
- generally unintelligent/ bad conversationalist

Assetbacked

KiKi III wrote: »

I know lots of men who have issues because their fathers weren't there for them growing up, were harsh on them, or made them feel like they were never good enough.

Funny enough, my first instinct isn't to fetishize it to my sexual advantage. When a man says "My father just wasn't around" we don't turn that into a kink

Men and women are different, do you even know anything about what type of personality a man with daddy issues has? Or even women with daddy issues?

Sky King

Kids. Fcuk that. I hate my own hypothetical children, I am definitely not going to like your real ones.

Assetbacked

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

Actually, my same friend who screenshots dick pics, I've known her about five years. Before Christmas I was over at her house and we were having a snack before heading out, she had Vegemite on toast.

I remarked on it and she went "oh, I lived in Australia for two years got into it there"

Gotta say, I did like her a bit more that that was the first and not 10,000th time she'd mentioned it.

Off topic, but I would ingest a whole loaf of bread toasted with vegemite on it.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

KiKi III wrote: »

Back on topic:

- pestering for sex before we've even met
- bigoted in any way
- topless bathroom pics (especially when they don't have a body particularly worth showing off)
- doesn't offer to pay on the first date (I always pay my share, but not to offer comes off cheap)
- generally unintelligent/ bad conversationalist

Wow, really?

KiKi III

Assetbacked wrote: »

Men and women are different, do you even know anything about what type of personality a man with daddy issues has? Or even women with daddy issues?

I would say in both instances parental neglect often results in some insecurity and a desire to prove themselves; and this can show up in careers, relationships, friendships and hobbies.

You're just choosing to focus in on the bit that you think will let you shag a 20 year old when you're ancient. hope there's no male patern baldness in your family and that you're on a very solid career trajectory, because I don't know any average looking, average income 55 year olds pulling hot young ones.

KiKi III

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Wow, really?

100%.

In the end we'll almost always split it, but not to offer to pay if he's asked me out seems rude.

Sky King

Do you offer to pay first though?

KiKi III wrote: »

I don't know any average looking, average income 55 year olds pulling hot young ones.

Neither do I now that you mention it but I do know a lot of creepy sleazy oul fellahs and they always manage to cop a feel here and there so there;s hope for us all

KiKi III

Sky King wrote: »

Do you offer to pay first though?


Neither do I now that you mention it but I do know a lot of creepy sleazy oul fellahs and they always manage to cop a feel here and there so there;s hope for us all

What you're describing there is called sexual assault.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Assetbacked wrote: »

Off topic, but I would ingest a whole loaf of bread toasted with vegemite on it.

I can't get into it. I use it in cooking a lot but I find it very strong by itself or with butter

Junkyard Tom

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

Even if someone is dehydrated and their mouth isn't properly lubricated I can't concentrate properly when they're talking to me because I want to punch them.

Oh yes. There was this man being interviewed about something on TV last week and I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying because all I could see were two globules of spit in the corners of his mouth and the sound of his tongue stickily forming words, like a frog struggling to escape a pot of glue. I felt a angry at the fucker.

Raconteuse

Some folk with their massive lists of what turns them off potential partners really aren't exactly brimming with the auld self awareness.

My dealbreaker would be behaving like that much of an over thinking, nit picking, fault seeking nutter.

Assetbacked wrote: »

Over 30 (most likely clingy and needy).

You'd write off absolutely any woman over 30 no matter how attractive she might be? That's just ridiculous. Plus she'll obviously become over 30 eventually while you're with her.

What kinda women do some of ye encounter too? (TV doesn't count). In my experience it's the opposite - the older she gets, the less needy/insecure.

Assetbacked

KiKi III wrote: »

I would say in both instances parental neglect often results in some insecurity and a desire to prove themselves; and this can show up in careers, relationships, friendships and hobbies.

You're just choosing to focus in on the bit that you think will let you shag a 20 year old when you're ancient. hope there's no male patern baldness in your family and that you're on a very solid career trajectory, because I don't know any average looking, average income 55 year olds pulling hot young ones.

Well, that touches on some general points but it is extremely vague.

For women; https://www.bustle.com/articles/173756-11-ways-your-relationship-with-your-father-can-affect-your-current-romantic-relationships

For men; https://goodmenproject.com/families/6-signs-youre-a-man-with-daddy-issues-kcon/

Deebles McBeebles

KiKi III wrote: »

Back on topic:

- pestering for sex before we've even met
- bigoted in any way
- topless bathroom pics (especially when they don't have a body particularly worth showing off)
- doesn't offer to pay on the first date (I always pay my share, but not to offer comes off cheap)
- generally unintelligent/ bad conversationalist

Worth pointing out, If I said that about women, I'd be run out of the thread.

mlem123

farmchoice wrote: »

is this really a thing, like do grown men actually take pictures of their cocks and send them to woman?

obviously i have heard about it but i thought it was more of a urban myth or at the very least the preserve of idiot teenagers.
why in the name of Christ would anyone think that any woman would want such a picture?

I think whats nearly worse is when they send you a pic on snapchat of them in their jocks, lying on their bed, their hairy legs in focus (with or without socks) and just writing "what you up to?" :rolleyes:

the sword

If I was single:
Girls who would post on facebook **** like “pm me or ring me hun”, that would be a pre-date check, and an instant no.
Girls who post photos on Instagram of them in the rain in a t-shirt with the caption “living my best life”, again I would scour social media before a potential date.
Girls with annoying laughs, like Janice from friends
Smokers
Girls who are highly opinionated about multiple things – I would imagine confrontation would be inevitable.
Girls who openly vent their dislike of people
Girls

Assetbacked

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

I can't get into it. I use it in cooking a lot but I find it very strong by itself or with butter

One more off-topic; if you bake cheese-bread (even vegan cheese) and toast that bread, the vegemite saltiness is subdued somewhat so it is more of a salty lather on the creaminess of the cheese than an over-powering saltiness.

Assetbacked

Raconteuse wrote: »

You'd write off absolutely any woman over 30 no matter how attractive she might be? That's just ridiculous. Plus she'll obviously become over 30 eventually while you're with her.

What kinda women do some of ye encounter too? (TV doesn't count). In my experience it's the opposite - the older she gets, the less needy/insecure.

It's not been tried and tested, as I said. If I was to get out there I'm just saying that is what I would avoid in the first instance. It is based on experience with friends that are long-term single and over thirty. A generalisation but very much anecdotal, based on my own experience but it is after all my own dealbreaker!

KiKi III

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Worth pointing out, If I said that about women, I'd be run out of the thread.

That may be true - and I'm open to correction on this - but I doubt there's many women with very average bodies posting topless pics to tinder.*


*excluding ladies of the night.

Deebles McBeebles

KiKi III wrote: »

That may be true - and I'm open to correction on this - but I doubt there's many women with very average bodies posting topless pics to tinder.*


*excluding ladies of the night.

Ah, but that's not the point is it. Topless bathroom pics would have done the job for getting across the kind of men you are talking about. Which I agree with by the way, its creepy as f*ck. Almost as bad as unsolicited dick pics.