Loneliness and singledom

Ladybird18

SnowyMuckish wrote: »

I wish I knew what is ‘normal’ for being lonely as opposed to ‘ you need to talk to someone about this loneliness’. What is the ‘normal’ ( if such a thing exists) of loneliness?

Personally speaking I dont feel that its normal to feel lonely in a relationship. I think its a red flag that something needs to change. Loneliness is very isolating and makes you unhappy. I think maybe asking yourself if you are happy is the first step and work from there. At the end of the day you have to put yourself first.

SharpshooterTom

SnowyMuckish wrote: »

Being introvert is very normal, read about it, it always helps to read about things....

I would take it to an extreme level though, I'm not exactly a 'normal' 33 year old based on my life experiences thus far.

Rologyro

[Deleted User] wrote: »

As i said earlier, I really like the 51 but its pointless me rocking up on Friday night knowing no-one. I've a better chance of meeting someone to chat to on a Tuesday. Except the person I have a decent chance of meeting is male and twice my age.

KiKi III wrote: »

The issue with going out is that I have no one to go out with. Even just saying that makes me feel like SUCH a loser but there are lots of reasons for it as previously mentioned.

I’ve been reading this thread and am in a similar situation.

Single F 29 in Dublin. All my friends are coupled up or live elsewhere.

KiKi III and denartha, why don’t the three of us meet up? Or anyone else in a similar situation, doesn’t have to be for drinks, although I wouldn’t mind getting dressed up!

Edit: sorry denartha just read back further on the thread and realised you’re a lad!

Purple Mountain

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I have a solution.
For all us lost and lonely single souls on this thread.
Forget a thread meet up, let's get the first thread gang bang going.
I'm in, if all you keyboard warriors can assure me you're Coronavirus free.

I was last in China 7 months ago. I don't think the incubation period is more than 14 days so count me in.

This is such a nice thread. I just read it from start to finish and everyone is so nice and supportive or harmlessly witty. Did a mod come in here and clean this place up or is AH going soft? I like it!

pheasant tail

[Deleted User] wrote: »

This is such a nice thread. I just read it from start to finish and everyone is so nice and supportive or harmlessly witty. Did a mod come in here and clean this place up or is AH going soft? I like it!

Agreed! I feel a little less alone just reading it.

Church on Tuesday

pheasant tail wrote: »

Agreed! I feel a little less alone just reading it.

Nah plenty sound people here really, think we may need another AH beers.

Purple Mountain

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Nah plenty sound people here really, think we may need another AH beers.

Kiki is your woman for organising so.
Although I vote to take it out of the capital this time.
We can rent a Party Bus like on Coronation Street and call it the Lonely Hearts on Tour.

SnowyMuckish

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

I would take it to an extreme level though, I'm not exactly a 'normal' 33 year old based on my life experiences thus far.

(Please excuse my primitive psychology)You’re life experiences thus far has not been true to yourself. You. Are. Who. You. Are. Figure out who you are, own it. OWN IT. You are who you are, what you are. There are BILLIONS of people out there, you belong. You do. Find your niche and except it. Accept you. When you give yourself a break and accept yourself find happiness.

Purple Mountain

SnowyMuckish wrote: »

(Please excuse my primitive psychology)You’re life experiences thus far has not been true to yourself. You. Are. Who. You. Are. Figure out who you are, own it. OWN IT. You are who you are, what you are. There are BILLIONS of people out there, you belong. You do. Find your niche and except it. Except you.

Absolutely. Look at Philip Scholfield today.

Pwindedd

It’s not easy being single - it’s very definitive. Your either in or out.

I’m happy in my “not being paired up” state. But I don’t see myself as a lone entity either. I’d love to have a buddy(ies) to hang out with. But I don’t need a best friend or partner. I like my own company but I’m not a loner.

Happy to chat in PM to Kiki and like minded individuals. Arrange a meet up. Shoot the breeze. Whatever.

**** it I’ve nothing to lose.

(45 F, separated, Dublin )

pgj2015

KiKi III wrote: »

It’s depressing isn’t it? I’m heading home to vote and I’m actually relieved that I don’t have to have the “What are you doing for the weekend?” chat with my housemate because it’s embarrassing saying “Nothing much” again...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Tyic1d2opY

bogwalrus

KiKi III wrote: »

This is actually a very good shout as I love reading. My past experience tells me it’s a place I’ll meet other slightly older women and not men, but that’s not the worst thing in the world.

My wife in her mid 30s joined a local rural book club a few years back. There are 12 women of all ages. They meet once a month and each bake or bring item of food and wine of course. They get absolutely sloshed and have a great time. They are now some of my wifes closest friends replacing her college gang pretty much. I'd definitely give it a go.

Potential-Monke

My tuppence worth, in a similar situation, 36/m. But a lot of that is down to me becoming an introvert due to seeing (in my opinion) the greed of other people. I realised too late that my kindness was being taken advantage of, and due to life I'm now living at home with my parents again, I haven't really tried to find someone, because I have the following firmly in my head:

- I'm too short (5'6")
- I don't have the right body type (you apparently need to be a dad to own a dad bod)
- I'm 36 and live with my parents
- I'm not your typical fella, preferring anime and games to sport and, well, other stuff 'normal' adults do

Saying that, I absolutely love my me time. I have way more than most people, due to working nights so on my days off I'm stay on the same schedule, getting up between 4 and 5 and staying up until 8/9am. Not much to do in a house you've to keep quiet in throughout the night, and everyone else seems to have 'normal' jobs, so I'd no choice but to like it.

But, like Purple Mountain said, I'd love to have a relationship for events or meeting up once a week, but back to the normal life then. I actually don't think I'm cut out to live with a love interest, as my experience from 2 x 7 year relationships is that as soon as you move in together, things start to go bad, or one side is/has to making/make too many compromises. I've lost count of the friends who've shacked up and had to give up their primary interests, because money and disagreeing on what it could be spent on (mostly car enthusiasts). Even worse, some friends who shacked up have started to play golf!!

I think there might be a market there for that, part time monogamous relationships (can't be sharing, I'm too greedy).

Gretas Gonna Get Ya!

Potential-Monke wrote: »

- I'm too short (5'6")
- I don't have the right body type (you apparently need to be a dad to own a dad bod)
- I'm 36 and live with my parents
- I'm not your typical fella, preferring anime and games to sport and, well, other stuff 'normal' adults do

- Nothing wrong with your height. Plenty of guys, who are attractive with a good personality, can find a partner at that height. It is possible that you might have to settle for someone around your height or shorter though, but plenty of women would be around that height. But some women don't mind shorter men, so not impossible to date someone taller than you! It really does come down to having a big personality - this can make your height become almost irrelevant in the eyes of the right woman!

- Unfortunately, there is no escaping the need to be in good shape and fighting fit, if you want a good chance at finding the right partner. It's not impossible to find someone when slightly out of shape... but lets be honest here, which women are catching your eye? If you're honest here, it's probably the ones that are in decent shape and taking good care of themselves... so why would you expect women to settle for less than this themselves?

- Plenty of 30+ men and women back at home with their parents these days. Especially with the housing and rental market being so messed up. I certainly would not be judging any women in your position right now, and I would be quite confident most women would have the same view on it too.

- Anime and games are very popular these days. I would say you are not that unique or strange necessarily.


I think a relationship should only ever enhance a person's life. Your life should be fairly good already, before shacking up with anyone imho. It should just be the cherry on top, that makes your life that little 10-15% happier.

Anyone who is very unhappy when single, and looking for a relationship to fix this... personally I think that is a recipe for disaster tbh.

This last bit isn't directed at you specifically btw. Just my 2 cents worth in general.

santana75

Potential-Monke wrote: »

- I'm too short (5'6")
- I don't have the right body type (you apparently need to be a dad to own a dad bod)
- I'm 36 and live with my parents
- I'm not your typical fella, preferring anime and games to sport and, well, other stuff 'normal' adults do

Dude you gotta stop talking to yourself in this way. You're not being "Real" or honest, you're kicking the crap outta yourself. Being in a relationship has absolutely nothing to with your height!! Look at This Austalian speaker Nick Vujicic. The guy literally has no arms and legs but he's married with kids. Dont buy into the overt or even covert messages society throws at you. Your body is a reflection of how you treat yourself and what you think youre worth. If youre overweight and know in your heart that youre not looking after yourself the way you should then you have the power to do something about that. Im not talking about killing yourself in the gym, because in the long term that doesnt work. Just be kind to yourself, treat yourself with respect and I promise your body will follow suit. If you care for yourself you'll automatically eat good natural food, you wont burden your body by overeating or eating junk. Focus on your life and on treating yourself with care and respect, dont watch the news, dont read newspapers or fake news, stay clear of social media, you dont need any of it. Forget what you think constitutes a "Typical fella", you are who God made you to be so respect that.

PoisonIvyBelle

It sounds to me like you're finding it hard to meet people you connect with rather than finding it hard to meet people in the first place. You'd be surprised at how many people feel like that though. In terms of advice I can only go on my own experience and I think there's a balance to be found. I don't think you should hang out with people you're not interested in just for the sake of being around people, but I think you have to start somewhere if you want to meet more people. I'd personally be happier spending an evening on my own than out with people I have no connection with, but I HAVE found that sometimes just going on a night out like that can lead you to getting chatting to new people you do click with.

Re: the working from home thing. I don't think that it's a recipe for loneliness. I've worked from home for years and if anything I make more of an effort and have more energy to be social with people I actually want to spend time with because of it. I know a few people who work from home that use co-working spaces once or twice a week though, have you thought about trying that?

In the past few years I've met new people in FB groups and that Girlcrew app, and there are 2 girls out of that who I'd call "proper" friends now and a few I'd know who I'd hang out with now and then which is fine also. In my exp it's all about expectations, kind of like a relationship. It's harder as an adult because sometimes people will want more of your time than you have to give. For example I like a lot of my own space and I've found a lot of girls I met wanted to make plans every single week and be texting everyday with whatsapp groups etc. and that would bug me. But the people I am friends with are people who do their own thing but meet up when it suits and pick up conversations where they left off without stress. That's how I am. You might be someone who wants more social interaction from a friendship, in which case someone like me would probably just frustrate you.

On the relationships front, I know people like to complain about online dating a lot but in my (many years of!) experience I've found it can be a great way to build real connections with people and I've had relationships come from it. You don't have to go out on dates every weekend. Just chat to a few people, be honest and upfront, and learn how to get a read on them before meeting; you'll soon be able to figure out who's worth your time and who isn't. Also, social media in general is one of the best ways for meeting people IMO, sure people were doing it on Boards before it was "cool" . So don't rule out Twitter or Instagram either! I got chatting to a guy I went out with a few times last year on Insta because we had some mutual followers/followed each other. And I met one of my best girl friends on Instagram too

wakka12

Nicely written OP, I think a lot of people can really relate. I think loneliness is a massive problem and not spoken about nearly enough. Plenty of younger people experience it too, not just elderly. It's so awful because you can really have everything, nice house, nice life, nie job, but it's all just for naught if you're lonely, you can still be so unhappy.

Purple Mountain

Potential-Monke wrote: »

My tuppence worth, in a similar situation, 36/m. But a lot of that is down to me becoming an introvert due to seeing (in my opinion) the greed of other people. I realised too late that my kindness was being taken advantage of, and due to life I'm now living at home with my parents again, I haven't really tried to find someone, because I have the following firmly in my head:

- I'm too short (5'6")
- I don't have the right body type (you apparently need to be a dad to own a dad bod)
- I'm 36 and live with my parents
- I'm not your typical fella, preferring anime and games to sport and, well, other stuff 'normal' adults do

Saying that, I absolutely love my me time. I have way more than most people, due to working nights so on my days off I'm stay on the same schedule, getting up between 4 and 5 and staying up until 8/9am. Not much to do in a house you've to keep quiet in throughout the night, and everyone else seems to have 'normal' jobs, so I'd no choice but to like it.

But, like Purple Mountain said, I'd love to have a relationship for events or meeting up once a week, but back to the normal life then. I actually don't think I'm cut out to live with a love interest, as my experience from 2 x 7 year relationships is that as soon as you move in together, things start to go bad, or one side is/has to making/make too many compromises. I've lost count of the friends who've shacked up and had to give up their primary interests, because money and disagreeing on what it could be spent on (mostly car enthusiasts). Even worse, some friends who shacked up have started to play golf!!

I think there might be a market there for that, part time monogamous relationships (can't be sharing, I'm too greedy).

I think it's because of our age bracket.
If any of us here were in our 60s and widowed or separated, it'd be considered normal to have a partner that you don't live with.
I guess most people in their 30s or 40s still hope to find someone to spend the rest of their lives with and have a family with.
I find the Spanish culture more preferable.
A lot of single people in their 30s or 40s or 50s. There's no expectation on the milestones we seem to expect in Ireland.

Widdershins

My best friend told me doesnt renember ever not being lonely, that its with her every day. She has siblings so I was really surprised as I'm an only child and always thought once you have siblings you wouldn't be lonely (provided you get on with them). She's also living with a long term partner.

The first time I was ever lonely was last year. Even after getting engaged it was still there. I felt anchor-less and unsafe in the world. I'm not sure what the answer is.

Church on Tuesday

Potential-Monke wrote: »

My tuppence worth, in a similar situation, 36/m. But a lot of that is down to me becoming an introvert due to seeing (in my opinion) the greed of other people. I realised too late that my kindness was being taken advantage of, and due to life I'm now living at home with my parents again, I haven't really tried to find someone, because I have the following firmly in my head:

- I'm too short (5'6")
- I don't have the right body type (you apparently need to be a dad to own a dad bod)
- I'm 36 and live with my parents
- I'm not your typical fella, preferring anime and games to sport and, well, other stuff 'normal' adults do

Saying that, I absolutely love my me time. I have way more than most people, due to working nights so on my days off I'm stay on the same schedule, getting up between 4 and 5 and staying up until 8/9am. Not much to do in a house you've to keep quiet in throughout the night, and everyone else seems to have 'normal' jobs, so I'd no choice but to like it.

But, like Purple Mountain said, I'd love to have a relationship for events or meeting up once a week, but back to the normal life then. I actually don't think I'm cut out to live with a love interest, as my experience from 2 x 7 year relationships is that as soon as you move in together, things start to go bad, or one side is/has to making/make too many compromises. I've lost count of the friends who've shacked up and had to give up their primary interests, because money and disagreeing on what it could be spent on (mostly car enthusiasts). Even worse, some friends who shacked up have started to play golf!!

I think there might be a market there for that, part time monogamous relationships (can't be sharing, I'm too greedy).

Stop being so hard on yourself.

There is fook all you can do about your height. I'm about 5'8" average height like yourself. Plenty women out there smaller than that or same height and any woman that has height as a total deal breaker is not the kind of woman you want to be with anyways.

You don't exactly have to be ripped either. As long as you are in half decent shape you will be fine, if you're not happy about weight try running or some basic exercise like walking. It will make a difference. Dress smartly and be well groomed which I'm sure you already know.

As others have mentioned loads of people have to live with their parents; this is Ireland 2020. I'm sure you won't be doing this forever.

Typical fella type is boring. Loads of basic lads out there, you want to be your own man and stand out from the crowd whatever why you want/can , again, loads of woman are into that stuff too.

You're a completely normal adult and don't have anyone else tell you otherwise in this life.

Blaze420

Let me tell you as a married man, there are days I feel the reverse to ye here. Being in a relationship is not this fantasy land where everything is brilliant - it’s personality clashes, its arguements over stupid ****, it’s staying up till 5am in a screaming match then telling each other I love you and trying to sleep.

There are days I wish I could go back to my single life for even 48 hours, when I was single it was the opposite. Enjoy the time and the freedom while you have it because when a serious relationship does come along it brings a whole new level of bull**** with it

Church on Tuesday

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

Awful advice. Women do not like men in their 30s who live with mammy and have manchild hobbies.

You'll be gone soon enough so I won't bother.

Tell me how

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

Awful advice. Women do not like men in their 30s who live with mammy and have manchild hobbies.

That's a subjective opinion on the hobbies front.
And in relation to living at home, that poster ain't the only person in their 30's old in that position.

What hobbies are you in to?
The uber exciting 'golf' and 'watching GAA'?

Blaze420

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

Awful advice. Women do not like men in their 30s who live with mammy and have manchild hobbies.

Those women aren’t worth the time then. My wife enjoys video games and we play together a few nights a week. I suppose that’s a “man child” hobby in your eyes though, and it’s nothing at all adult or mature like obsessively watching a bunch of bellends in a villa on TV I’m sure.

santana75

Blaze420 wrote: »

Let me tell you as a married man, there are days I feel the reverse to ye here. Being in a relationship is not this fantasy land where everything is brilliant - it’s personality clashes, its arguements over stupid ****, it’s staying up till 5am in a screaming match then telling each other I love you and trying to sleep.

There are days I wish I could go back to my single life for even 48 hours, when I was single it was the opposite. Enjoy the time and the freedom while you have it because when a serious relationship does come along it brings a whole new level of bull**** with it

Fair play to you for your honesty. This is a reality that a lot of single people dont want to acknowledge.

Widdershins

To the man who likes anime and video games. Ive heard a few women say "geeks" and "geek culture" are hot. They say geek like it's a good thing

Blaze420

Widdershins wrote: »

To the man who likes anime and video games. Ive heard a few women say "geeks" and "geek culture" are hot. They say geek like it's a good thing

I’m not a geek and neither is my wife, we’ve simply moved with the times and find video games to be no different a hobby to reading a book or watching tv/movies. Plus it’s something we actively participate in together to win so there’s a whole communication/partnership side of things in play there as well. Show me a person who views them as childish and I will strip their “more mature” lifestyle to the bone because the majority of them are nothing but hypocrites.

KiKi III

santana75 wrote: »

Fair play to you for your honesty. This is a reality that a lot of single people dont want to acknowledge.

To be honest it’s not something that enters my head until someone like blaze says it so honestly here, because even my closest friends who are married don’t tend to share it when they’re having relationship problems.

jaxxx

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

No of course you won't. But you're telling a guy who lives at home at 36 and has silly hobbies not to change anything about himself.

I'm sure the ladies will form a que.

Tell me. Who died and made you the voice of all women?

Widdershins

Blaze420 wrote: »

I’m not a geek and neither is my wife, we’ve simply moved with the times and find video games to be no different a hobby to reading a book or watching tv/movies. Plus it’s something we actively participate in together to win so there’s a whole communication/partnership side of things in play there as well. Show me a person who views them as childish and I will strip their “more mature” lifestyle to the bone because the majority of them are nothing but hypocrites.

I don't know exactly what a geek is, no offence intended...I just skim read the thread. I think it was another poster, but I'm not sure.

Blaze420

KiKi III wrote: »

To be honest it’s not something that enters my head until someone like blaze says it so honestly here, because even my closest friends who are married don’t tend to share it when they’re having relationship problems.

I didn’t mean to scare ye! haha but only honesty the good days are good but the bad days are very bad - an arguement in your single life goes as far as seeing that person and apologising. In a relationship, it’s every single minute you see them until the shouting is done and a compromise is reached.

It’s not all flowers and sunshine on the other side of the fence is all I’m saying and even in the happiest relationships, I am sure that most have days imagining the crazy stuff they’d be doing with all that free cash or the cool stuff they’d be doing if they didn’t have anybody scrutinising their every move

Greyfox

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

No of course you won't. But you're telling a guy who lives at home at 36 and has silly hobbies not to change anything about himself.

I'm sure the ladies will form a que.

Every guy I know who's in a relationship plays computer games, it's far better than watching love Island. The secret is to have some hobbies for yourself and some hobbies you can share with a partner.

jaxxx

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

You don't have to be voice of all women to know that not living with mammy and not playing computer games with vastly increase your chances.

Oh get out of the dark ages. Computer games aren't just for kids you batty old dinosaur. And some people simply can't afford to move out of home. Stop talking rubbish.

Btw, if anyone is put off of someone because they don't have an understanding for someone who still lives at home (or even bother to ask why), or just enjoys playing video games, then they are a f*cking idiot.

BorneTobyWilde

SSr0 wrote: »

100% guarantee of no dick pics, ever.

Yea, you're camera doesn't have a Macro lens

2 fast

santana75 wrote: »

Dude you gotta stop talking to yourself in this way. You're not being "Real" or honest, you're kicking the crap outta yourself. Being in a relationship has absolutely nothing to with your height!! Look at This Austalian speaker Nick Vujicic. The guy literally has no arms and legs but he's married with kids. Dont buy into the overt or even covert messages society throws at you. Your body is a reflection of how you treat yourself and what you think youre worth. If youre overweight and know in your heart that youre not looking after yourself the way you should then you have the power to do something about that. Im not talking about killing yourself in the gym, because in the long term that doesnt work. Just be kind to yourself, treat yourself with respect and I promise your body will follow suit. If you care for yourself you'll automatically eat good natural food, you wont burden your body by overeating or eating junk. Focus on your life and on treating yourself with care and respect, dont watch the news, dont read newspapers or fake news, stay clear of social media, you dont need any of it. Forget what you think constitutes a "Typical fella", you are who God made you to be so respect that.

This is lovely and so true !

Blaze420

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

You don't have to be voice of all women to know that not living with mammy and not playing computer games with vastly increase your chances.

Women that hold views like that aren’t worth the time, sorry to break it you. That’s why most of them with that kind of mentality get cheated on or dropped for a newer model.

2 fast

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

You don't have to be voice of all women to know that not living with mammy and not playing computer games with vastly increase your chances.

Oh be quiet! This is you opinion and yours only so shush generalizing!

BorneTobyWilde

Blaze420

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

Actually those women are entitled to hold those opinions. Just because they find manchildren unattractive does not mean they deserve to be dumped or cheated on.

I’m just telling you from personal experience. They are perfectly entitled to hold those opinions - doesn’t mean that any lads are going to come running for a dry ****e like that. Times have moved on.

Greyfox

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

And yes computer games are for teenage lads. Get some interesting hobbies you can talk about. Telling a girl at the girl about Call of Duty won't cut it.

This has got to be the dumbest post of the decade. GTA 5 is 18's and it made a billion dollars in 3 days as its designed for over 18's. With games men in there 20's and 30's with good jobs is the main target market. People shouldn't post about things they know nothing about

KiKi III

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

Yeah lads are going to say no to the ride because the girl doesn't like video games. Totally believable that.

Being a gamer would not put me off a guy. He’d have to be an extreme-level cliche (think Comic Book Guy) before I’d consider it a problem.

Blaze420

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

Yeah lads are going to say no to the ride because the girl doesn't like video games. Totally believable that.

That’s your problem - you base your whole worth around how “rideable” you are or how “mature” fellas have to be to “have a chance” as you put it. Listen - you’ll get old and stuff will sag and whatever superstar looks or bull**** you believe in now won’t exist anymore. Real and deep relationships are not skin deep, there’s a lot more involved in them. Those who base their worth or the worth of potential partners just on looks and interests are playing a very short game indeed.

jaxxx

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

Oh did I touch a nerve? Living with your parents in your 30s is cringey, and yeah the rental market is tough but so what? Start making plans to move out. You can't live with mammy and think you're a stud. And if your girl lives at home as well? What are you going to do? Book into a hotel every time you want to do it?

And yes computer games are for teenage lads. Get some interesting hobbies you can talk about. Telling a girl at the girl about Call of Duty won't cut it.

So computer games are only for teenage lads according to you? So teenage girls don't play computer games then? Not sexist at all...


Here's an idea, how's about you stop generalising about what you think others actually do/should do with their own hobbies, and stop living in the past, dinosaur.


Ah, who said ignorance is bliss :rolleyes:

NSAman

Naggin Merchant wrote: »

Oh did I touch a nerve? Living with your parents in your 30s is cringey, and yeah the rental market is tough but so what? Start making plans to move out. You can't live with mammy and think you're a stud. And if your girl lives at home as well? What are you going to do? Book into a hotel every time you want to do it?

And yes computer games are for teenage lads. Get some interesting hobbies you can talk about. Telling a girl at the girl about Call of Duty won't cut it.

Sounds to me like someone is projecting his experience in life here

jaxxx

Blaze420 wrote: »

That’s your problem - you base your whole worth around how “rideable” you are or how “mature” fellas have to be to “have a chance” as you put it. Listen - you’ll get old and stuff will sag and whatever superstar looks or bull**** you believe in now won’t exist anymore. Real and deep relationships are not skin deep, there’s a lot more involved in them. Those who base their worth or the worth of potential partners just on looks and interests are playing a very short game indeed.

Careful now, such hocus-pocus witchcraft thinking requires an evolved mind to understand

I think we've diverged from the op slightly.. .. ..

jaxxx

NSAman wrote: »

Sounds to me like someone is projecting his experience in life here

Anyone have contact details for David Attenborough??

The pretending that negatives don't have an impact really annoys me and feels like pure condescension.
I'm bald and am well aware that for a large proportion of women that's either a deal-breaker or an input. Pretending that if I had hair that I wouldn't stay on the would-bang list for a bit longer on average is puerile. Along with my fatness I'm starting in a hole compared to if I dropped a few stone and a few grand on hair plugs.

PoisonIvyBelle

KiKi III wrote: »

Being a gamer would not put me off a guy. He’d have to be an extreme-level cliche (think Comic Book Guy) before I’d consider it a problem.

+1, it's just an interest/hobby like anything else. Also, I went on a date with "Comic Book Guy" and although the constant references got a bit annoying sometimes, it wasn't any kind of dealbreaker.. If anything it's a bonus when someone has an interest they're passionate about, whatever it may be!