Things not to do when you're drunk

AckwelFoley

Hello AH.

Can we gather the collective knowledge of the internets best kept secret and discuss.

What are the top 3 things one should never ever do when drunk(ish)

I propose le following.

1. Drive
2. Try something new
3. Start a thread in AH.


Directors Edit:
4. Text your boss.

25 year anniversary special edition edit:
5.Do the eulogy at a funeral

Timberrrrrrrr

Drink more.

EmmetSpiceland

Slice lemons. Or limes.

AckwelFoley

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Drink more.

**insert look of disdain here**

368100

Yeah, talk to a sober boss when you're well on it at stage of dancing at every opportunity

Timberrrrrrrr

AckwelFoley wrote: »

**insert look of disdain here**

Are you drunk?

AckwelFoley

368100 wrote: »

Yeah, talk to a sober boss when you're well on it at stage of dancing at every opportunity

Its complete fcuk up particularly when you call to his house at 3am.

Dont do that.

AckwelFoley

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Are you drunk?

Ish

iamstop

Climb things
Operate heavy machinery
Get married (in Vegas?)
Get a tattoo
Call the ex.

tayto lover

I found a half eaten hamburger, sauce and all, in the coat pocket of my new suit when I went to hang it up the next day. That was a long time ago but it shows the silly things you do when drunk.

So don’t put half eaten burgers in you pocket when drunk.

Sorry about that

Pluck eyebrows.

cannotlogin

Have sex with a colleague!!

AckwelFoley

tayto lover wrote: »

I found a half eaten hamburger, sauce and all, in the coat pocket of my new suit when I went to hang it up the next day. That was a long time ago but it shows the silly things you do when drunk.

So don’t put half eaten burgers in you pocket when drunk.

I have a good friend that will eat literally anything when hes drunk. He ate a burger that had a boot mark in it outside the IT in athlone

But, his piece de resistance is eating a urinal block out of a urinal in Newcastle for £20.

One eyed Jack

1. Sleep it off in public

2. Sleep it off at home (chances are you’ve ended up in someone else’s house)

3. Forget both of the above

punisher5112

Check out the talent, drink more, suddenly what wasn't talent becomes talent.....

Scary stuff

Purple Mountain

Sext your ex.

iamstop

Show up in court.

Posting on boards.

AckwelFoley

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Posting on boards.

Internet.

Wifi should have a breathalyser.

punisher5112

Call the wife and tell her I'm gay....





Then run away with the mistress.

punisher5112

iamstop wrote: »

Show up in court.

Been there...

Worked out better then expected

Sheeps

1. Vote Fine Gael
2. Vote Fianna Fáil

punisher5112

Sheeps wrote: »

1. Vote Fine Gael
2. Vote Fianna Fáil

We really are fooked

KaneToad

One eyed Jack wrote: »

2. Sleep it off at home (chances are you’ve ended up in someone else’s house)

Did this before.

Lost my keys...had to climb over side gate... thankfully back door unlocked...flopped into the armchair to catch some zzz's. Wasn't my house. It was two doors down. Didn't know them well, at the time. Hell of an icebreaker..

Deja Boo

Fire up the Bbq... with your breath

Pauliedragon

Try to lick your elbow. It never ends well.

The Tetrarch

Play golf.

AckwelFoley

KaneToad wrote: »

Did this before.

Lost my keys...had to climb over side gate... thankfully back door unlocked...flopped into the armchair to catch some zzz's. Wasn't my house. It was two doors down. Didn't know them well, at the time. Hell of an icebreaker..

Great story that.

Friends of mine. Field trip to sligo. Arrive at the mates house. Told to ask taxi to take them to 21 derp derp estate after the night club. Key will be under the plant pot. Free bed upstairs first on the left.


Fast forward. 3am. Taxi 12 derp derp estate.

Plant pot. Key

First upstairs on the left.

Man and woman in bed. Who da fuk are yeee!!!!

Eh.. morto.

Lucky for them Ireland isnt Texas

fergiesfolly

1)Take part in any sport in any way (bar spectating). Slippy slidey dress shoes and five a side football does not end well.

2)Order takeaway.." Ya, I'll have the extra large monster burger meal. And a snackbox"

3)Browse online shopping websites. Especially the Chinese ones, cos everything is cheap. And sure, who doesn't want a dozen solar powered f@cking reindeer.

AckwelFoley

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Try to lick your elbow. It never ends well.

Even sober one looks like a gob****e trying that

Your Face

Wrestle.

Ladybird18

Fill someones Chanel bag with mince pies thinking they will piss themselves laughing when they find them the morning after the xmas party. They wont.

LETHAL LADY

Sing Sonny's Dream when you only know three lines of the song. Every drunken sing along I've been at 😳

Rufeo

I don't drink that much. I feel it's a waste.

js35

Bong before beer you’re in the clear
Beer before bong you’re in the wrong

punisher5112

Deja Boo wrote: »

Fire up the Bbq... with your breath

Petrol or kerosene..... Then light it while looking I to it closely....

saabsaab

Climb up on the parapet of a bridge to show you can cross the river that way without falling.



Oh' Tell everyone in the pub how much better Cork is than Dublin. In Dublin.

Texting any girl who you like, or have been dating. It's generally cringe-worthy the next day to read.

Thelonious Monk

Cocaine. Then youre sober again and continue to drink.

punisher5112

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Cocaine. Then youre sober again and continue to drink.

Nicolas cage could help you out there....

AckwelFoley

Just woke up there now. Face paralized with a headache

The usual boot up routine l, frantically trying to remember what stupid **** I may have done in the last 12 hours


**cold sweats**

punisher5112

Wire a plug

punisher5112

Stick a fork or other foreign object into a socket

punisher5112

Acquire a for sale sign and bring it on a bus

punisher5112

Bring a bus stop onto a bus

punisher5112

Go into the Garda station to order a curry

js35

punisher5112 wrote: »

Go into the Garda station to order a curry

:pac: :pac: :pac:

Paulzx

Best mans speech at a wedding.

Just don't...

All the lads will think it's hilarious.

Mother in Laws won't:eek:

I Am The Law

Tell female work colleagues, how beautiful they are.🀢

ChikiChiki

Try and cook rashers in the toaster.

Needless to say, that one didn't end well.

keepalive213

Take a dump in the bath and deny any involvement.