Caroline Flack found dead

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Raconteuse wrote: »

A woman I was friendly with died of spinal cancer in 2017 after not much time following diagnosis (about a year). She was 35 - two small children and husband (widower at 39) left behind.

I remember her saying just before her 35th birthday that she would have been disgusted at the thought of turning 35 a year beforehand, but after her diagnosis she was downright thrilled to get to another birthday, and would give anything to see all the birthdays most people her age will experience, and that growing old is a privilege.

I give suicidal people or people seeking a "mercy killing" a free pass in relation to themselves because their minds aren't in a rational place due to psychological or physical pain (or both) but "well they had a good life so 40 isn't too bad" will never be anything other than hugely poor taste imo.

If you think it in relation to yourself, I don't agree with such thoughts, however you're entitled to feel that way about yourself. But don't project. It's not ok to say it's the case for others.

If someone kills themselves, I generally don't judge them (some suicides are cowardly, like those of war criminals) but I'll never think it's not sad for a good person to end their life.

Yes. Thank you. All of this.

Growing old is a privilege. I swear the people who say 40 or 50 is a good innings are probably the same folks who tell dying people “Ah sure you have to go sometime” or “Any of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow”. Oh great, now I’m not worried about those cancer cells marauding around my body. They often seem to think this is profound too. Awfully pleased with themselves. Am, yeah, we all die but most people want to live to the life expectancy of their country first. And we should try and see if we can help people who say that they don’t want to rather than shrugging our shoulders.

I only judge suicide victims if they take others with them though. I always feel compassion if it’s just them.

Raconteuse

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Yes. Thank you. All of this.

Growing old is a privilege. I swear the people who say 40 or 50 is a good innings are probably the same folks who tell dying people “Ah sure you have to go sometime” or “Any of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow”. Oh great, now I’m not worried about those cancer cells marauding around my body. They often seem to think this is profound too. Awfully pleased with themselves. Am, yeah, we all die but most people want to live to the life expectancy of their country first. And we should try and see if we can help people who say that they don’t want to rather than shrugging our shoulders.

It's absolutely bewildering. Maybe it's some form of coping mechanism for themselves, I dunno.

What if someone is murdered? Is that a case of "We all gotta go some time"? And if not, why not?

Have people said in this thread that people of a certain age dying is no big deal because they've lived a long life?

Raconteuse

Deleted User wrote: »

Have people said in this thread that people of a certain age dying is no big deal because they've lived a long life?

The poster Greta's gonna get ya! did.

One eyed Jack

Raconteuse wrote: »

The poster Greta's gonna get ya! did.

Has anyone seriously suggested it then? :pac:


(I know, I know, you have a point, but I wouldn’t take anything that poster said seriously. It was like something I’d hear from a navel gazing teenager who imagines nobody has ever heard it before :rolleyes:)

Raconteuse

Raconteuse wrote: »

The poster Greta's gonna get ya! did.

I read back. These discussions do tie me up in knots.

Ah ok. Greta did indeed imply that it was no big deal for a 40 yr old woman to end her life since she had 40 good years. Which is speculation because we don't actually know anything about Caroline Flack and her experiences.

No. That's not my view at all. I've explained mine.

RabbleRouser2k

Deleted User wrote: »

Have people said in this thread that people of a certain age dying is no big deal because they've lived a long life?

Nobody brought it up in this thread, thankfully. A life taken too soon (no matter what the circumstances) is horrible.

Sadly- that's not the case in every situation.

I remember years back, one of my aunts got breast cancer. She was in her 50s at the time.
Well, as you can imagine, it was a horrible situation.
My cousin, one of her daughters, was out getting groceries to take home to her mum. (Her dad was busy driving his wife to treatment, and with work, so they needed help from extended family.)

Anyways, on one shopping trip, she bumped into someone who was an acquaintance of the family.
She enquired about my aunt, asked if the diagnosis of cancer was true, then followed up with 'How old is your mother?' When given the answer, the acquaintance responded 'Well, I suppose she's lived long enough'.

Needless to say, my cousin lost her cool there and then.
Some people can be horrible.

Raconteuse

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Nobody brought it up in this thread, thankfully

One poster did though. Repeatedly. Said 40 isn't too bad if you've had a good life. That 40 is "slightly younger" than the average life expectancy. Yes, half = "slightly younger".

RabbleRouser2k

Raconteuse wrote: »

One poster did though. Repeatedly. Said 40 isn't too bad if you've had a good life. That 40 is "slightly younger" than the average life expectancy. Yes, half = "slightly younger".

Ah, that's rough. There's this odd thing that I've noticed people doing in recent times-thinking that if someone died young, but had a life of adventure, then it wasn't a life wasted. (The example used was The Crocodile hunter, Steve Irwin).

They then say 'would you rather 40 + years of amazing adventures, or 100 years of a boring life'... and am I the only one sitting here like 'Uh...100 please and thanks'.

Plus we see children die of cancer every goddamn year-they never truly got to experience life.Not fully.