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Got assaulted by the lodger in the house

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24

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    #32
    Caranica
    Registered Users Posts: 10,115 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    How can I ask her to go? She is back in her room now.

    Don't ask her. Wait for her to go out and change the locks. She assaulted you, that removes any requirement for reasonable notice. You should not have given her 2 weeks notice.


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    #33
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    <Mod Snip>

    And the people on this thread who are more empathic with the crazy loon would be similar themselves as the crazy person you're living with.

    I wouldn't listen to them, get this monster out as quick as possible.


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    #34
    Bubbaclaus
    Registered Users Posts: 4,461 ✭✭✭Bubbaclaus


    I dont understand why you keep giving her 2 weeks notice? That's just showing weakness and proving to her she can push you around.


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    #35
    Quandary
    Registered Users Posts: 5,319 ✭✭✭Quandary


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    How can I ask her to go? She is back in her room now.

    Sounds like she will not leave so you have to be patient. She has to leave the house at some stage for work, food shopping, socialising etc... and then you will need to act fast. Take a sick day from work if you have to. Get the locks changed yourself as soon as she is out the door. After you have changed the locks contact your landlord and give him a key immediately. Let him know that you had no other option and you will be more than happy if he feels he needs to change the locks again himself. I'm currently a landlord myself and if my tenant had to do this then I would understand the situation.

    Make sure your boyfriend or a friend is with you when all this takes place as you will need a witness in case anything explosive happens.

    Best of luck with it, and you have learned a valuable lesson. In future vet your prospective house mates very carefully. It won't guarantee they aren't a lunatic but it will massively limit the possibility.


    All the best, I hope it works out for you.


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    #36
    Graham
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 17,642 Mod ✭✭✭✭Graham


    Mod Note

    Das Reich please read the forum charter before posting in A & P again.


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    #37
    SNNUS
    Registered Users Posts: 746 ✭✭✭SNNUS


    Hi there, please stop with the notice, she is completely controlling you and taking advantage of your good nature.

    Due to assault, change locks now and remove her stuff. Have your bf there who should really be giving you this advice anyway and away she goes to be someone else's misery.

    If deposit needs to be returned, the bf can give it to her at a different location .

    Job done.


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    #38
    Kangaroolala
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Kangaroolala


    Bubbaclaus wrote: »
    I dont understand why you keep giving her 2 weeks notice? That's just showing weakness and proving to her she can push you around.

    I know I have been too weak. I have been caught up in my job for the busy season now I do have a bit of time to fight for justice.


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    #39
    Fol20
    Registered Users Posts: 3,624 ✭✭✭Fol20


    ForestFire wrote: »
    I would not be worried about the rights and wrongs of changing the locks where violence is involved as it is an urgent safety issue.

    They can always keep the old lock barrels for the LL if he wants to change them back at a latter date, and supply the new keys to the LL.

    What reasonable objection could the LL, especially with a garda report in place of the violence.

    Two wrongs dont make a right. I mentioned changing locks as well for safety reasons.

    All the OP has to do, is ask for permission from the LL to change longs and advise the ll that the OP will pay for it and give the ll a spare key. The ll owns the property so he has the right to call the shots on this but since the ll is not paying for it, most would be ok with this.


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    #40
    Caranica
    Registered Users Posts: 10,115 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    The OP has already posted that the LL is okay with the locks being changed.


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    #41
    Fol20
    Registered Users Posts: 3,624 ✭✭✭Fol20


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    She refuses to talk to me and won’t listen at all. I will go to ATM to get cash but I don’t know if she will open her door for me.

    Ensure you have your boyfriend at a minimum and a few more people if possible. Does she stay in her room the entire time or does she also need to step out to go to the toilet,cook etc?

    You need a physical presence to stop this person from getting physical with you. Im personally a big guy so most wouldnt try anything on me but if you are afraid of this person, i would for sure recommend having backup.


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    #42
    Fol20
    Registered Users Posts: 3,624 ✭✭✭Fol20


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Do not just hand over the money. She'll just keep it and then claim you never returned her deposit.

    You dont hand over the money until all of her stuff and her are outside the property.

    In my setup, you have physical support that can step in if required, you block her from locking herself in, if she refuses, continue to ensure no doors will be locked and advise her her stuff will be removed from the property if she doesnt leave today. Having the cash is an incentive for her to go quietly(she wont) and for you to put this behind you today.

    There is no way this will finish amicably i suspect but its the best of a bad situation.


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    #43
    Fol20
    Registered Users Posts: 3,624 ✭✭✭Fol20


    nthclare wrote: »
    Are you her lodger lol

    Nope, im just familiar with deposit retention etc and in this case, its a social thing where it creates more hassle than it is worth to keep a deposit especially if it isnt warranted.


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    #44
    Fol20
    Registered Users Posts: 3,624 ✭✭✭Fol20


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    How can I ask her to go? She is back in her room now.

    In the past if you knock on her bedroom door, does she ignore you or open it? - if she opens it, that is your opening.

    If its the former, how long does she typically stay in her bedroom before going downstairs etc - wait with your friends when she opens the door and go quick.

    Does she lock her bedroom when she is in it? - If not, just knock once and walk in.

    If push comes to shove, and you are getting nowhere, you could call the police for tresspassing but im not sure how well that will work. i would use this as a last resort.

    She will not go quietly so thats why you need support and witnesses for this.


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    #45
    Fol20
    Registered Users Posts: 3,624 ✭✭✭Fol20


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    I know I have been too weak. I have been caught up in my job for the busy season now I do have a bit of time to fight for justice.

    I think you are just being kind with this person(even though you dont need to be) and the fact this person has been physical with you has you taken by surprise so dont worry about it, you will learn from this so thats the most important thing.


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    #46
    Cody montana
    Registered Users Posts: 5,285 ✭✭✭Cody montana


    Do you have friends that could help you?


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    #47
    YFlyer
    Registered Users Posts: 9,717 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    Can the landlord insist for the lodger to leave?


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    #48
    Fol20
    Registered Users Posts: 3,624 ✭✭✭Fol20


    YFlyer wrote: »
    Can the landlord insist for the lodger to leave?

    No, if the ll insists, then the dynamic can change as then the problematic tenant could dispute it does fall under the realm of the RTB as the tenant wouldnt be a licensee anymore.


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    #49
    antix80
    Registered Users Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    Yeah I would like to know what to do. she is bigger than me and very violent too, I will get hurt again If I confront her. If Garda can come over and let her go, I would be so happy to refund her deposit at the presence of Garda.

    This is the solution.
    Hopefully they'll threaten to arrest her if she refuses to leave.


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    #50
    Arrival
    Closed Accounts Posts: 779 ✭✭✭Arrival


    Does the landlord know about you subletting the room, as in is it allowable in your lease? If it is, have you talked to them about the situation you're in? They'd surely be able to help in some way, even if it's just to setup a locksmith to come and change the keys during the day. You could literally get all her **** while she's out and throw it out the door while the locksmith is changing the keys


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    #51
    Kangaroolala
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Kangaroolala


    It is me who let her live in here, so the landlord is not involved.


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    #52
    Kangaroolala
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Kangaroolala


    I might need to take a half day off from work tomorrow morning and do it. There is an Argintinan guy who also lives here, my concern is that he will let her in as they speak the same language.


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    #53
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Fol20 wrote: »
    Nope, im just familiar with deposit retention etc and in this case, its a social thing where it creates more hassle than it is worth to keep a deposit especially if it isnt warranted.

    I see where you are coming from and my observation is that the op is timid and I take that into consideration.

    But this house devil deserves no sympathy and should be tossed out the door, English 80's comedy style.
    None of this Liberal pc crap.

    Grab the bags, leave them open and out the door like Basil Faulty would have done.
    No conscious just fling it all out the door.

    No mercy


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    #54
    Kangaroolala
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Kangaroolala


    nthclare wrote: »
    I see where you are coming from and my observation is that the op is timid and I take that into consideration.

    But this house devil deserves no sympathy and should be tossed out the door, English 80's comedy style.
    None of this Liberal pc crap.

    Grab the bags, leave them open and out the door like Basil Faulty would have done.
    No conscious just fling it all out the door.

    No mercy

    Just got back from the Garda station. Garda contacted her for making a statement on Wednesday. Hopefully the justice can be returned to me.


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    #55
    Arrival
    Closed Accounts Posts: 779 ✭✭✭Arrival


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    It is me who let her live in here, so the landlord is not involved.

    Yes, but if you're subletting it should be in your lease to say the landlord is okay with you subletting, is that the case? You also said earlier that the landlord was okay with you changing the keys, so I'm presuming you've told them about the situation?

    And the Argentinian guy, is he not on the lease either, you're subletting to him also?


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    #56
    Doctors room ghost
    Registered Users Posts: 4,820 ✭✭✭Doctors room ghost


    nthclare wrote: »
    I see where you are coming from and my observation is that the op is timid and I take that into consideration.

    But this house devil deserves no sympathy and should be tossed out the door, English 80's comedy style.
    None of this Liberal pc crap.

    Grab the bags, leave them open and out the door like Basil Faulty would have done.
    No conscious just fling it all out the door.

    No mercy





    I’m with you nthclare. The op and her mates should put tysons stuff out on the lawn and land her out on the road shortly after by force if necessary.
    None of the nicey nicey sh1te.
    She took the ops kindness as weakness and took full advantage.
    Time to show the teeth,snarl and bite


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    #57
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 24,714 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Fol20 wrote: »
    Nope, im just familiar with deposit retention etc and in this case, its a social thing where it creates more hassle than it is worth to keep a deposit especially if it isnt warranted.

    It appears warranted to me. I’d be keeping it to cover the cost of lock change and other hassle. Lodger hasn’t a leg to stand on.


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    #58
    Doctors room ghost
    Registered Users Posts: 4,820 ✭✭✭Doctors room ghost


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    I might need to take a half day off from work tomorrow morning and do it. There is an Argintinan guy who also lives here, my concern is that he will let her in as they speak the same language.




    Put him out aswell the fcuker if it comes to it.
    Horse her out the door bag and baggage and leave pedro in no doubt that he’ll be next out if he acts the boll1x


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    #59
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Doctors room ghost wrote: »
    I’m with you nthclare. The op and her mates should put tysons stuff out on the lawn and land her out on the road shortly after by force if necessary.
    None of the nicey nicey sh1te.
    She took the ops kindness as weakness and took full advantage.
    Time to show the teeth,snarl and bite

    Absolutely and no compromise or forgiveness.
    Out the door, the absolute cheek of someone treating someone so badly who's been accommodating is zero tolerance.
    Get the guards involved too, and more than likely deportation will probably be the end result.

    The ones advocating a more lenient approach are the same types whod be behaving like the one abusing this poor lady.

    I've come across bleeding heart liberals who are absolute nightmares to share space with.

    Everything is a potential row, nice day isn't it, it wasn't nice yesterday.

    How are you doing, how do you think I am.

    Nice jacket, it does what its intended for...

    I've experienced the same thing in the 90's hippy dippy 2nd wave liberals although the third wave is worse


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    #60
    Kangaroolala
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Kangaroolala


    nthclare wrote: »
    I see where you are coming from and my observation is that the op is timid and I take that into consideration.

    But this house devil deserves no sympathy and should be tossed out the door, English 80's comedy style.
    None of this Liberal pc crap.

    Grab the bags, leave them open and out the door like Basil Faulty would have done.
    No conscious just fling it all out the door.

    No mercy

    The Garda also suggest just leave her stuff out of the house and change the lock. The problem here is that I don’t have a key for her room. How can I get her stuff out before I change the lock?


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    #61
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Kangaroolala wrote: »
    The Garda also suggest just leave her stuff out of the house and change the lock. The problem here is that I don’t have a key for her room. How can I get her stuff out before I change the lock?

    Actually that's a problem alright.
    Well maybe the landlord has a spare key.
    Then you can get the stuff and leave it outside the front door, hopefully it'll be raining too, just to rub salt into the situation.

    I hope you do get rid of this loon.

    The stress must be at tipping point at this time.


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