2021 Bride/Groom

woodchuck

cazzer22 wrote: »

No mention of weddings in any of the leaks so far. Announcement tomorrow. How is everyone feeling?

I don't think there'll be any mention of weddings tomorrow. By all accounts, the focus will be the 5km, construction and getting the remaining kids back to school.

I feel like our only hope for normality now is the vaccine rollout. With the UK variant, it doesn't seem feasible that we'll get down to manageable levels of transmission without widespread vaccination.

I think the government will want to promote domestic tourism for July and August if possible, which essentially means getting down to level 2 in order to achieve intercounty travel. Level 2 would mean 50 guests at a wedding. But who knows if they'll actually stick to the levels or just pick and choose as they please. I could see them possibly allowing intercounty travel over the Summer, but only allowing outdoor dining for example.

I'd love to have 50 guests in September, but we'd settle for 25. My brother is in Canada, but has actually gotten his vaccine now. So I hope there'll be clarity given for people travelling who have been vaccinated. I'd love to have him there if possible. I really hope my parents are vaccinated by September, or they won't be attending. Realistically if they're not vaccinated by Sept, the rollout will have gone to sh1t anyway and we'd probably want to postpone again on safety grounds. I don't want to go ahead myself unless it feels reasonably safe and safety seems to have gone completely out the window with this damn UK variant :mad:

woodchuck

Neyite wrote: »

As it stands now, I've relatives who are hell-bent on coming from the UK as intended, so if numbers are limited, the pressure will be on me to sacrifice spots of our own siblings for my aunts and uncles 'who've came all this way' at the ceremony.

Jesus, they must be some bunch if they can't understand the concept of the restrictions and that you'd choose your siblings over them!! I'd be absolutely telling them where to go if it comes down to that, but I know it's easier said than done.

It's possible their flights are flexible anyway? I've heard that airlines are generally being more flexible with bookings these days, so that people aren't afraid to spend their money on bookings.

I didn't want much for our wedding day, just our families around us to celebrate with us.

I know, tell me about it. I've always been so cynical of weddings. I'd always be rolling my eyes at some of the things you see at the typical large Irish weddings. I just wanted a small gathering of close family and friends. A chilled out day with good company, food and music. That's it! Apparently that's far too much to ask atm...

ilovesmybrick

cazzer22 wrote: »

No mention of weddings in any of the leaks so far. Announcement tomorrow. How is everyone feeling?

We've decided that if there isn't any clarity by June we're going to scrap it and just have a civil ceremony by ourselves. We're booked for October, but don't want another summer like last year waiting on tenterhooks to find out what's happening. On top of that we're living on the continent, so have no idea what will happen with regards travel or when we'll be allowed home this year.

Realistically if we can't get back at some point in August it will be incredibly tight, dresses need to be fitted and suits bought, and a few other bits and pieces that got lost in the last cancellation.

Neyite

woodchuck wrote: »

Jesus, they must be some bunch if they can't understand the concept of the restrictions and that you'd choose your siblings over them!! I'd be absolutely telling them where to go if it comes down to that, but I know it's easier said than done.

It's possible their flights are flexible anyway? I've heard that airlines are generally being more flexible with bookings these days, so that people aren't afraid to spend their money on bookings. .

Oh it's a ferry and yes, it's very flexible- I checked the website of the ferry company they are using. Trust me this is only the latest in a long line of drama from them that preceded the pandemic by years. They'd get a years worth of drama out of a teaspoon.

I found out at the weekend my sister is planning her wedding for 2022 VERY secretly and will likely only let the cat out of the bag at the bare minimum of notice and it's probably soley down to all the crap I had to put up with in the planning.

wrote:

I know, tell me about it. I've always been so cynical of weddings. I'd always be rolling my eyes at some of the things you see at the typical large Irish weddings. I just wanted a small gathering of close family and friends. A chill out day with good company, food and music. That's it! Apparently that's far too much to ask atm...

It's an impossible ask right now.

zedhead

cazzer22 wrote: »

No mention of weddings in any of the leaks so far. Announcement tomorrow. How is everyone feeling?

I think there is little to no chance there will be any mention of weddings tomorrow. The only possibility if they ease the numbers on funerals they may consider wedding too, but that is wishful thinking.
I just want to know so I can actual focus on the next 6 weeks and what I can do for my 6 guest wedding.

Neyite wrote: »

I think it would actually work in my favour right now if they restricted it to just the couple, celebrant and 2 witnesses.

As it stands now, I've relatives who are hell-bent on coming from the UK as intended, so if numbers are limited, the pressure will be on me to sacrifice spots of our own siblings for my aunts and uncles 'who've came all this way' at the ceremony. If I don't, I'll never hear the end of it. We've both got siblings stuck abroad who would need at least one bout of self-paid quarantine to attend and it's a big ask when they've got families of their own, mortgages and travel costs already. We have two more siblings (and families) that likely would not be able to come because they've a vulnerable child who won't have had a vaccine by then. If I postpone I get it in the ear from aforementioned relatives about how they had a wasted journey and no guarantee that 2022 will be in any way different to 2021. I didn't want much for our wedding day, just our families around us to celebrate with us. So there's no option here that gives me that. But I tell myself that there's others who have it far worse. I'm very Meh right now.

That is so tough, i would absolutely be telling people in no uncertain terms that they should cancel any flights now as you and your partner want any siblings who can be there, there. Its your day and its sh*t enough you have to cut numbers so much, you want the few you can have there to be the most important people to you!!

Neyite

zedhead wrote: »

That is so tough, i would absolutely be telling people in no uncertain terms that they should cancel any flights now as you and your partner want any siblings who can be there, there. Its your day and its sh*t enough you have to cut numbers so much, you want the few you can have there to be the most important people to you!!

I was told " we are coming regardless, wedding or no wedding, we need a holiday" :pac: Which is grand. There's no issue with that.

The issues will start when I'm having a stripped down wedding with 6 people and I'll get "Oh we'll just sit down the back of the church and not be any bother" or if I ask my mother to keep it a secret they'll all fall out with her for sneaking off to see me get married when they came for the wedding. Or getting offended and falling out with us because we expect them to adhere to the covid guidelines and rules because they don't feel they apply to them.

I'm well used to them, and no longer give two fcuks what kind of tizzy they work themselves into. Usually what happens is that my mother and I fall out over me not bending over backwards for them which is nothing I can't handle but will be a PITA nonetheless and just an added aggravation that I don't need while trying to pull off a pandemic wedding. I'm going to offend people regardless so I might as well go out in a blaze of glory

Teach30

I can’t see wedding as being priority in the next announcement. I’m utterly depressed about the whole thing and can’t even bring myself to consider how depressing a day it will be. I feel no joy towards the event if it is 6 or even 25ppl. My family are zero help and can’t understand why I would need to get dress, invitations flowers etc organised now for end of June. Wouldn’t two or three weeks beforehand be time enough is what my sister said to me.

Between that and trying to figure out when & how to move my belongings to the house we’ll be living in I’m in a state over it all. Trying to see what do will we do after the church, do we just go to our new house or do we go away for a few days. Do I bother with a dress and photographer. It’s all such a waste of my life trying to figure it all out. Sorry for rant but no one else I know, family etc gives a fk.

AppleD

Teach30 wrote: »

I can’t see wedding as being priority in the next announcement. I’m utterly depressed about the whole thing and can’t even bring myself to consider how depressing a day it will be. I feel no joy towards the event if it is 6 or even 25ppl. My family are zero help and can’t understand why I would need to get dress, invitations flowers etc organised now for end of June. Wouldn’t two or three weeks beforehand be time enough is what my sister said to me.

Between that and trying to figure out when & how to move my belongings to the house we’ll be living in I’m in a state over it all. Trying to see what do will we do after the church, do we just go to our new house or do we go away for a few days. Do I bother with a dress and photographer. It’s all such a waste of my life trying to figure it all out. Sorry for rant but no one else I know, family etc gives a fk.

Whatever you do then, just suit yourself! Also if I was you- I would plan to go away for a few days- air b n b even. You will be able to do that in June, sure people are doing air b n b now. You could book a hotel break, with free cancellation and no stress then if you can't go or change your plans.

Teach30

AppleD wrote: »

Whatever you do then, just suit yourself! Also if I was you- I would plan to go away for a few days- air b n b even. You will be able to do that in June, sure people are doing air b n b now. You could book a hotel break, with free cancellation and no stress then if you can't go or change your plans.

Thanks you, I would t love to out the whole thing off and let someone else plan it but unfortunately We can’t wait another year. Your right I’ll look up someplace to go, I’d prefer a hotel as it would mean I wouldn’t have to worry about food etc.

I’m so sick of antagonising over it all and having to consider all the possible options when at the end of the day with small numbers it’s just going to be such a waste of money and more stressful than if we could have the 280+

I’m a very negative person and come from a very negative - always think the worst type of family so hard to see any positive for next few months the o only stress and worry.
Booking a night away for night of wedding might help give me something to look forward to although knowing my luck nothing will be reopened by then.

Neyite

I don't think that anyone who isn't actually planning a wedding gets the difficulty. And it's not us being negative, it's the whole situation. Like trying to put a fence up in sand that's constantly shifting.

Like, do you book a hairdresser/makeup and risk losing your deposit if it becomes illegal overnight and means you can't get your money back? Ditto for photographer, venue, videographer. Or if dressmakers stay shut, how can you alter the dress you spent €€€ on? Do you go to the expense of 100 invites but might only need to send 6? Do you buy three bridesmaids outfits that will go to waste. Favours? Flowers? etc
Now I was going low key on the vast majority of that so was unaffected by most of those conundrums but even my planning was constantly up in the air and will be.

And that's before the usual irritating relatives who think your wedding day is all about them. :mad:

zedhead

AppleD wrote: »

Whatever you do then, just suit yourself! Also if I was you- I would plan to go away for a few days- air b n b even. You will be able to do that in June, sure people are doing air b n b now. You could book a hotel break, with free cancellation and no stress then if you can't go or change your plans.

This is another thing im really sad about, not being able to get away for a couple of nights after the wedding. We can stay the n ight of the wedding in the venue but thats it unless they open up hotels etc in the announcement which I don't see happening.

Sierra Oscar

Disappointing that there wasn't any mention of weddings and easing of restrictions in the Taoiseach's announcement. Non the wiser as to what the plan is in the months ahead.

Tij da feen

Sierra Oscar wrote: »

Disappointing that there wasn't any mention of weddings and easing of restrictions in the Taoiseach's announcement. Non the wiser as to what the plan is in the months ahead.

We had been holding out for with a tiny glimmer of hope for our wedding in the first week of May but that's not going to be happening. Hard to know when to reschedule for when there's been 0 indication provided on when they're even going to consider it..

Raisins

Did they move to 25 people at funerals and leave weddings at 6?

There was a brief period last year where more people were allowed at a wedding than a funeral.

woodchuck

Raisins wrote: »

Did they move to 25 people at funerals and leave weddings at 6?

There was a brief period last year where more people were allowed at a wedding than a funeral.

Yes, they said it'll move from 10 to 25 mourners at a funeral. No mention of weddings increasing from 6 guests.

There was a very brief period last year when more people were allowed at a wedding than a funeral, but they corrected that pretty quickly. I don't see it going the other way though. To be fair, I think funerals should take priority over weddings.

woodchuck

Tij da feen wrote: »

We had been holding out for with a tiny glimmer of hope for our wedding in the first week of May but that's not going to be happening. Hard to know when to reschedule for when there's been 0 indication provided on when they're even going to consider it..

I'm sorry, I know the uncertainty is the absolute killer. We changed from mid-May to mid-September. As much as I don't like MM, his speech was actually unusually positive for once. I'm feeling ever more slightly hopeful about September now! There was talk of hotels possibly reopening in June for example. As more of society reopens, weddings restrictions should ease alongside that (number of guests at the very least).

ilovesmybrick

Unless I misheard the press conference, seems like they'll look at weddings at the end of next month...

woodchuck

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

Unless I misheard the press conference, seems like they'll look at weddings at the end of next month...

I was watching the announcement and didn't hear that?

Full speech written here and I don't see it:
https://www.rte.ie/news/coronavirus/2021/0330/1207071-taoiseach-speech/

Oh sorry, you could be right, heard elsewhere he was asked about it afterwards.

ilovesmybrick

woodchuck wrote: »

I was watching the announcement and didn't hear that?

Full speech written here and I don't see it:
https://www.rte.ie/news/coronavirus/2021/0330/1207071-taoiseach-speech/

Oh sorry, you could be right, heard elsewhere he was asked about it afterwards.

I think it was Zara King asked it during the press conference, which only seemed available on twitter.

cazzer22

Tij da feen wrote: »

We had been holding out for with a tiny glimmer of hope for our wedding in the first week of May but that's not going to be happening. Hard to know when to reschedule for when there's been 0 indication provided on when they're even going to consider it..

They appear to have abandoned the level system for living with Covid as well, making it even more unclear what will happen next. Weddings haven't got a single mention, anywhere. Incredibly frustrating, but the show must go on. 10th of April with 6 people here we come!

Raisins

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

Unless I misheard the press conference, seems like they'll look at weddings at the end of next month...

I watched the press conference back and the journalist asked the question as the last question out of four she asked. For that reason they forgot to answer it but I think she repeated it again (without microphone) and the Taoiseach said something like “as I said end of the month we’ll reassess”. That previous answer was not about weddings.

Long story short I think it’s as was said above they’ll come back to weddings at the end of April.

zedhead

I'm so disappointed that they didn't even get a mention. I understand why funerals would get preference over weddings, and I would agree they should but for everyone in the wedding industry, all the couples waiting to get married - to not even mention them when talking about how things may be rolled out from May on is so disappointing.

We're going ahead for the first week of May with 6 guests and then a celebration for everyone else later in the year - maybe November or December.

I just can't believe we are still in this situation - who would have thought when rescheduling for a whole year into the future we would be here.

Neyite

zedhead wrote: »

We're going ahead for the first week of May with 6 guests and then a celebration for everyone else later in the year - maybe November or December.

I just can't believe we are still in this situation - who would have thought when rescheduling for a whole year into the future we would be here.

Same here. We are going ahead with just two witnesses (trying to pick just six will be a diplomatic nightmare). With variants of covid emerging that the vaccine may or may not be as effective on, we could easily be in a restricted state this time next year as well, so I don't see that we could postpone with confidence. This way, we've got the legal bit done, and a party is quick to organise if we get a window of opportunity.

zedhead

Neyite wrote: »

Same here. We are going ahead with just two witnesses (trying to pick just six will be a diplomatic nightmare). With variants of covid emerging that the vaccine may or may not be as effective on, we could easily be in a restricted state this time next year as well, so I don't see that we could postpone with confidence. This way, we've got the legal bit done, and a party is quick to organise if we get a window of opportunity.

I think i am quite lukcy in that my partner only has one brother, and one of my two sisters live abroad so the 6 guests fit both our parents and a sibling each. Its a shame our siblings partners can't be there but at least we get all of our immediate family and no picking and choosing among friends or siblings/family.

I think we are going to pick a date with our venue for the party and if by the end of the year we are still not able to go ahead with a decent number/ music and dancing then we just scrap the idea of a party and swallow the loss of the deposit.

ShortAPennt

FYI..... today's press conference.....


Dr Ronan Glynn was asked if there was any change to wedding rules on the horizon - would a couple who are getting married in July perhaps be able to have more than six guests?

He refuses to be drawn on this but says he appreciates that couples have had to postpone their weddings several times. He does not want to promise anything that may not happen.

https://www.rte.ie/news/post/103629702


...... This is extreamly disapointing. We are June and were hoping for 25...... no commitment on more than 6 for July is shocking.....

Goose76

ShortAPennt wrote: »

FYI..... today's press conference.....


Dr Ronan Glynn was asked if there was any change to wedding rules on the horizon - would a couple who are getting married in July perhaps be able to have more than six guests?

He refuses to be drawn on this but says he appreciates that couples have had to postpone their weddings several times. He does not want to promise anything that may not happen.

https://www.rte.ie/news/post/103629702


...... This is extreamly disapointing. We are June and were hoping for 25...... no commitment on more than 6 for July is shocking.....

I can’t blame Glynn for that approach - this is consistent with what Martin stated last night - that wedding numbers would be reviewed at the end of this month and we will just have to wait and see things how things go. It’s not shocking at all.

I for one am thankful in a way that they are being non commital, worst thing for Glynn to do would be to give hope in the form of rumour/speculation (which Varadkar loves to do:mad: ) and then for it not to actually happen in the next round of easing restrictions. THAT would be shocking. They have to wait and see how the numbers pan out over the next month.

I’m hoping for 25 in June too so exact same boat as you btw.

ShortAPennt

Goose76 wrote: »

I can’t blame Glynn for that approach - this is consistent with what Martin stated last night - that wedding numbers would be reviewed at the end of this month and we will just have to wait and see things how things go. It’s not shocking at all.

I for one am thankful in a way that they are being non commital, worst thing for Glynn to do would be to give hope in the form of rumour/speculation (which Varadkar loves to do:mad: ) and then for it not to actually happen in the next round of easing restrictions. THAT would be shocking. They have to wait and see how the numbers pan out over the next month.

I’m hoping for 25 in June too so exact same boat as you btw.

I suppose you're right...... it would be worse to commit to something and then back track.... Its just when i read things like this its so disheartening..... I have knots in my stomach thinking about my wedding day..... I know we could look at postpoing but we really want our day in a few weeks.

I thought 25 for June was a realistic number...... at the start of the year though i though 50 would be possible.......I would just be gutted not to get that.....What are the thoughts of the likelyhood of 25 for June? Is my head stuck in the clouds and should i be preparing for 6?

Goose76

ShortAPennt wrote: »

I suppose you're right...... it would be worse to commit to something and then back track.... Its just when i read things like this its so disheartening..... I have knots in my stomach thinking about my wedding day..... I know we could look at postpoing but we really want our day in a few weeks.

I thought 25 for June was a realistic number...... at the start of the year though i though 50 would be possible.......I would just be gutted not to get that.....What are the thoughts of the likelyhood of 25 for June? Is my head stuck in the clouds and should i be preparing for 6?

Aw I know exactly how you feel. It used to drive me round the bend but I’ve tried to take my fiancé’s advice which is to just wait and try and not worry until OFFICIAL news comes out instead of listening to all the speculation.

My friend made me feel so much better the other day when she said “if it’s not June at least you know it’ll be some time in 2021” which helped me calm down as well I know it’s harder for people who want larger weddings though,

I hope it all works out for you and you feel better soon.

ShortAPennt

Goose76 wrote: »

Aw I know exactly how you feel. It used to drive me round the bend but I’ve tried to take my fiancé’s advice which is to just wait and try and not worry until OFFICIAL news comes out instead of listening to all the speculation.

My friend made me feel so much better the other day when she said “if it’s not June at least you know it’ll be some time in 2021” which helped me calm down as well I know it’s harder for people who want larger weddings though,

I hope it all works out for you and you feel better soon.

Thank you so much...... i would be happy with 25....... after cutting it from 180.......

You are so right and no point worrying until we get official news.....

Wishing you and us all the best for our June Weddings!

Teach30

Another blip today when putting a list for 25 ppl together we realised it’ll be nearest thing to a funeral with the age group. Parents Aunts uncles etc are over 75 so don’t think it’s fair to ask a few friends minus their partners to attend esp as our friends wouldnt know each other and would be a boring day for them. So now I’m dreading the meal part as it’ll be an early finish and no dancing etc. I can’t see anyone staying for craic and drinks.

For anyone who has had 25 with just family was it as bad as I’m thinking it will be? My family have never met his so that adds to awkwardness and we wouldn’t have band if it’s just 25 so just a meal. In my head it all sounds very anticlimactic.

jamesbondings

We are going t go ahead regardless in May. Finding it next to impossible to get anyone to cater on the day. Local restaurant "don't work mondays" so won't do it. Most Caterers looking for a minimum of between 50 and 75 guests even in level 5 which is laughable. We are not paying close to a grand for 6 or 7 people.

Decided on making food the night before and getting stuff from takeaways, chips garlic bread etc.....

confusticated

Teach30 wrote: »

Another blip today when putting a list for 25 ppl together we realised it’ll be nearest thing to a funeral with the age group. Parents Aunts uncles etc are over 75 so don’t think it’s fair to ask a few friends minus their partners to attend esp as our friends wouldnt know each other and would be a boring day for them. So now I’m dreading the meal part as it’ll be an early finish and no dancing etc. I can’t see anyone staying for craic and drinks.

For anyone who has had 25 with just family was it as bad as I’m thinking it will be? My family have never met his so that adds to awkwardness and we wouldn’t have band if it’s just 25 so just a meal. In my head it all sounds very anticlimactic.

I know this depends on how many aunts and uncles you have and how many you're inviting, but would you not invite a small number of friends that would know each other? Or like one friend each with their partner if you're caught with numbers? We're hoping for 25 and have had to ask friends if they're OK with coming without partners and none of them have had an issue, they would all know at least one of the bridesmaids/groomsmen and us - and if there's only 25 we're taking the positive of being able to spend a decent amount of time with each guest ourselves! Our families wouldn't know each other well, they have met alright but have never spent an extended amount of time in each others' company.

Teach30

confusticated wrote: »

I know this depends on how many aunts and uncles you have and how many you're inviting, but would you not invite a small number of friends that would know each other? Or like one friend each with their partner if you're caught with numbers? We're hoping for 25 and have had to ask friends if they're OK with coming without partners and none of them have had an issue, they would all know at least one of the bridesmaids/groomsmen and us - and if there's only 25 we're taking the positive of being able to spend a decent amount of time with each guest ourselves! Our families wouldn't know each other well, they have met alright but have never spent an extended amount of time in each others' company.

Kind of nice to know I’m not only person in similar situation with choosing guests. We split the guests so if I have just my family it’s 9 so making up the balance with aunts/uncles and my partner hasn’t as many to ask but we’d rather not ask friends as we dont think they’d have the craic if it’s only 3 or 4 people on their own who have never met. My friends have never met his and wouldn’t know our siblings either so literally everyone is meeting for the first time including our parents.

I think it’s so different for us because we see our families every day as we still live with them, so it’s not like we need to spend time with our guests if that makes sense. I’d prefer to ask friends over family but obviously can’t do that.

We just need 50 to make it a good day, I just can’t see 25 being any way enjoyable. I’d also love to be able to stop thinking about it.

qwerty13

@ Teach, I’m going to say it: your families have never met, despite you both still living with your families, and presumably living close enough to each other to date on at least a reasonably regular basis. Does that not strike you as unusual.

I don’t understand at all how your friends have never met. Surely there’s been birthday celebrations, nights out, engagement drinks/meals.

How on Earth were you going to have, I think, close on 300 guests (maybe it was 180, I seem to recall 280 though) if your families and friends have never met.

Teach30

qwerty13 wrote: »

@ Teach, I’m going to say it: your families have never met, despite you both still living with your families, and presumably living close enough to each other to date on at least a reasonably regular basis. Does that not strike you as unusual.

I don’t understand at all how your friends have never met. Surely there’s been birthday celebrations, nights out, engagement drinks/meals.

How on Earth were you going to have, I think, close on 300 guests (maybe it was 180, I seem to recall 280 though) if your families and friends have never met.

I might not have been too clear but we’ve met each other’s friends but each of our groups of friends would never have met!

My family doesn’t do celebrations, birthdays, meals or nights out together etc so our parents would have never had a reason to meet either. We wouldn’t live close to each other so they’d have no reason to meet up. I don’t know is that usual? It’s just really annoying tbh. The big number 300+ is neighbours, cousins, friends work colleagues and partners.

Easier have big numbers at a wedding than small because you’ll find someone to talk to and more of an atmosphere too.

confusticated

Teach30 wrote: »

I might not have been too clear but we’ve met each other’s friends but each of our groups of friends would never have met!

My family doesn’t do celebrations, birthdays, meals or nights out together etc so our parents would have never had a reason to meet either. We wouldn’t live close to each other so they’d have no reason to meet up. I don’t know is that usual?

I think both of those things are quite unusual, but that's not going to help you at this stage. You said your immediate family brings it up to 9, so you have 3/4 spaces free. Could you invite a group of 3/4 of your friends, all solo? They'll know each other which is really all you need, I've been to big weddings and spent the vast majority of the day with a handful of people. And if you live at home it's likely your friends will also know your family?

woodchuck

Teach, surely you have a few friends who know each other? I'd invite them to make up the numbers, instead of Aunts/Uncles. It sucks that you can't invite their partners, but they'll be happy if they're with a few other people they know.

redheadcork

We have a list of 25, we were meant to get married in May but postponed to October. When we started it, I had more aunts, uncles, cousins on it but then I had to think about the atmosphere and dynamics etc and who I could not be without on the day. So I tried to ‘pair up’ people. Most partners not invited except for very close family. My godfather and godmother would know each other, then friends in pairs and putting those pairs of friends together who have met. I wouldn’t be concerned about people not knowing others once they know one person. My fiancé had an aunt and uncle on the list but he hasn’t seen them in years so he won’t invite them.
If we have 25 I’ll invite people (covid pending) to see me off at the house/ work colleagues outside church. Just an idea to include others.

Teach30

confusticated wrote: »

I think both of those things are quite unusual, but that's not going to help you at this stage. You said your immediate family brings it up to 9, so you have 3/4 spaces free. Could you invite a group of 3/4 of your friends, all solo? They'll know each other which is really all you need, I've been to big weddings and spent the vast majority of the day with a handful of people. And if you live at home it's likely your friends will also know your family?

Thinking about it my friends have never met my family or been to my house they’d know of them but never have met. I’d never have had reason to invite them to the house!

We both feel that by asking just 2 or 3 friends each they’d have a boring enough day for them so we said it might be best to just have family and then have the party for friends afterwards when we can have bigger numbers.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone but I don’t think we can avoid asking friends over family which is very unfortunate and puts a total downer on the “party” after the ceremony in my mind. Really it’s just going to be a meal and then home for 7 or 8 we think. No one will stay for drinks etc.

Teach30

woodchuck wrote: »

Teach, surely you have a few friends who know each other? I'd invite them to make up the numbers, instead of Aunts/Uncles. It sucks that you can't invite their partners, but they'll be happy if they're with a few other people they know.

If we have a party for friends afterwards I’d prefer to invite them to that as it’d be better fun. I know what your saying though, and I agree it’d be great to have them at the real day but the cost etc of asking them to attend two separate events puts me off this.

As usual I’m probably completely overthinking it all.

woodchuck

Teach30 wrote: »

If we have a party for friends afterwards I’d prefer to invite them to that as it’d be better fun. I know what your saying though, and I agree it’d be great to have them at the real day but the cost etc of asking them to attend two separate events puts me off this.

As usual I’m probably completely overthinking it all.

I think you are overthinking it tbh. If you want them there, just ask them! It's only going to be about 3 friends that you'd be asking to both events. And they can always turn down the second invitation if they really don't want to go to the second event. And hopefully there'll be so many people at the second party that you won't miss them too much IF they don't come.

That's assuming you don't expect 2 invites to result in 2 presents...

Neyite

Teach30 wrote: »

If we have a party for friends afterwards I’d prefer to invite them to that as it’d be better fun. I know what your saying though, and I agree it’d be great to have them at the real day but the cost etc of asking them to attend two separate events puts me off this.

As usual I’m probably completely overthinking it all.

You might be underestimating how starved of social events people are these days and would jump at the chance.
I went to give blood a couple of weeks ago and was ridiculously excited I'd a valid reason to go outside of my 5k, and the nurse who was doing it for me was excited to have a trip to Dunnes in her near future, said she'd been thinking about it all day like it was a big treat. :pac:

So, people are going to get excited about going to your wedding. Or your separate celebration of your wedding. They'll be excited to do the normal thing of putting on a bra makeup, a nice outfit, and have a drink in an actual function room setting, served by a barman. Having a meal served to you, being able to chat to someone that isn't your immediate family. Most of the men will be salivating at the idea of having an actual pint from the tap. You'll have a group of guests who are very happy to just be there, feeling like life is normal for a few hours.

Teach30

Neyite wrote: »

You might be underestimating how starved of social events people are these days and would jump at the chance.
I went to give blood a couple of weeks ago and was ridiculously excited I'd a valid reason to go outside of my 5k, and the nurse who was doing it for me was excited to have a trip to Dunnes in her near future, said she'd been thinking about it all day like it was a big treat. :pac:

So, people are going to get excited about going to your wedding. Or your separate celebration of your wedding. They'll be excited to do the normal thing of putting on a bra makeup, a nice outfit, and have a drink in an actual function room setting, served by a barman. Having a meal served to you, being able to chat to someone that isn't your immediate family. Most of the men will be salivating at the idea of having an actual pint from the tap. You'll have a group of guests who are very happy to just be there, feeling like life is normal for a few hours.

I know and I’ve been told this by a few people but it will be very mixed as regards ages and my family don’t drink so will be very tame affair. Like over at 8pm kinda thing and I wouldn’t bother with band or DJ as older generation would find it too noisy.

In my head if I was asked to a similar setup I would probably dread it as I wouldn’t know anyone and would feel awkward but your right others would love the chance to get out. I do feel though if things don’t re-open people won’t have outfits, hair done etc my mother wouldn’t dare buy online and I’d hate for her to feel bad in herself on the day so still considering having it at all if hairdressers etc closed.

We still can’t decide what would be best to do, I get very down thinking about it all so it’s easier to just leave it now for another few weeks and decide then.

Neyite

I'm struggling to get enthused myself tbh.

Like I said to a family member, it's impossible to plan. Do I pay out for deposits on stuff and cross my fingers that Michael Martin doesn't do a press conference the night before the wedding shutting everything down?


I've booked a dressmaker for next month. While I do some sewing myself I wouldn't feel all that confident taking apart a structured lace fitted dress and reassembling it correctly fitted so hopefully I'll meet with her, discuss the alterations and then book a day in June to do the fitting, when hopefully my exercising will have paid off. Well I already am seeing some results so that's motivating. I was all set to do it during my break times but had someone in to repair an appliance and didn't want to be all purple and sweating in front of a tradie.

zedhead

It is very difficult to be enthusiastic about it. Im looking forward to the day, but all the little admin bits like picking ceremony songs and readings just aren't fun any more.

Plus the added stress of trying to figure out how to get something for my dad to wear. He doesn't have anything that fits him suitable - rental places seem to only do formal wedding suits and he doesn't really want to wear a suit anyway so definitely wouldn't want to buy one. I've told him he doesn't have to wear a suit - to wear what makes him comfortable but I get the impression he doesn't really believe me.

I need to also sort out my diet - not to lose weight or anything (dress alterations are almost done so I guess I just need to not gain anything) but more about clearing my skin up and just feeling a bit healthier. Stress eating is getting to me.

Teach30

@zedhead I know how you feel with it all being up in the air. I see so many great looking relaxed brides on Instagram and look at photos of friends on their day and I dont feel at all confident to look or act like them at the moment.

The all had perfect hair, makeup, teeth, skin, weight and I know it took preparation to get there but with places being closed I feel like my photos will be awful. Silly I know to be like this but my mind keeps coming back to it and I feel hopeless.

Gonna try keep up the healthy eating and exercise even if I’m not too motivated to move lately.

zedhead

Teach30 wrote: »

@zedhead I know how you feel with it all being up in the air. I see so many great looking relaxed brides on Instagram and look at photos of friends on their day and I dont feel at all confident to look or act like them at the moment.

The all had perfect hair, makeup, teeth, skin, weight and I know it took preparation to get there but with places being closed I feel like my photos will be awful. Silly I know to be like this but my mind keeps coming back to it and I feel hopeless.

Gonna try keep up the healthy eating and exercise even if I’m not too motivated to move lately.

Not silly at all. I actually had those fears prepandemic. I don't have fantastic body image as it is and we are paying a lot of money for our photographer - I am terrified of hating all the photos of me. Its now compounded with the fact I am a little over a stone heavier than where I am most comfortable and scared this will show and ruin all the photos. I'd love to think we will get some gorgeous candid ones - but i worry I wont. I have been working on not equating my weight to how i feel a look but its not an easy road when I have been struggling with it my whole life.

woodchuck

Is anyone considering doing a "first look" photoshoot before the ceremony instead of disappearing during the drinks reception to take photos?

I wasn't planning to pre-pandemic, but I'm seriously considering it now. Especially since there's a curfew, it means we can make the most of our day and spend more time with our guests. Because of the curfew, we'll be going from dinner to the "late night" reception at a more accelerated pace - I don't want to be under pressure to get around to everyone during the meal just for the sake of it and it's always more difficult to chat once the loud music starts.

Also, I normally enjoy the drinks reception more than the late night music and dancing anyway. It's a much more chilled atmosphere and you don't have to shout over a band/DJ. We're paying good money for canapes and a live singer during the drinks reception too, so I'd like to be able to enjoy those instead of missing it all. I know we'll still need to take photos with the parents and witnesses during the reception, but that should be much quicker.

The only downside I can think of is that we technically won't be married when we take the couples photos and won't be wearing our wedding rings. But it's still our wedding day and sure we can always exchange rings ourselves for the photos if we want!

Any thoughts?

ShortAPennt

woodchuck wrote: »

Is anyone considering doing a "first look" photoshoot before the ceremony instead of disappearing during the drinks reception to take photos?

I wasn't planning to pre-pandemic, but I'm seriously considering it now. Especially since there's a curfew, it means we can make the most of our day and spend more time with our guests. Because of the curfew, we'll be going from dinner to the "late night" reception at a more accelerated pace - I don't want to be under pressure to get around to everyone during the meal just for the sake of it and it's always more difficult to chat once the loud music starts.

Also, I normally enjoy the drinks reception more than the late night music and dancing anyway. It's a much more chilled atmosphere and you don't have to shout over a band/DJ. We're paying good money for canapes and a live singer during the drinks reception too, so I'd like to be able to enjoy those instead of missing it all. I know we'll still need to take photos with the parents and witnesses during the reception, but that should be much quicker.

The only downside I can think of is that we technically won't be married when we take the couples photos and won't be wearing our wedding rings. But it's still our wedding day and sure we can always exchange rings ourselves for the photos if we want!

Any thoughts?

We also considered this as it meant more time with our guests. however one of the most exciting parts of the day for us is the walk up the aisle..... Each to their own but I love that part of the wedding......Its up to you personally, a first look could also help settle any nerves before the ceremony.
One other thing to think about is if maybe you might like a few moments away from your guests for just the two of you...... I am anticipating the day going like a whirlwind so the opportunity to break away from everyone and have just the two of us might act like a mini "time out" that we might need.

ShortAPennt

zedhead wrote: »

Not silly at all. I actually had those fears prepandemic. I don't have fantastic body image as it is and we are paying a lot of money for our photographer - I am terrified of hating all the photos of me. Its now compounded with the fact I am a little over a stone heavier than where I am most comfortable and scared this will show and ruin all the photos. I'd love to think we will get some gorgeous candid ones - but i worry I wont. I have been working on not equating my weight to how i feel a look but its not an easy road when I have been struggling with it my whole life.

Girls i am feeling the exact same...... so worried that without the army of bridal prep i won't look like the best version of myself for the day in June.... Its so diffuclt as i am a major stress eater. The uncertainty is causing me to reach for all the bad food. That and i feel like we have all been deprived of alot of the "normal" bridal experiences is saying f*ck it have the easter egg.....have the wine and enjoy what you can!

I know that if I knuckled down and lost a little bit of weight it would give me a confidence boost on the day so am really aiming for that..... i don't think as a bride you have to lose weight but for me personally, i know it would not only make me look better in my dress but would give me a real feel-good boost...
Apart from eating healthy does anyone have anything else they are planning on doing on the lead up to help achieve "the bridal glow"?