Special Needs customer

LegacyUser

Hi everyone. Awkward one, feel bad writing it. Hope I don't come across insensitive.

Work in a busy food place in a housing estate, we have a regular customer 5-7 days a week. She rarely has enough money to pay, we made the mistake of letting her off 2 or 3E when this all started but eventually she could be a tenner short and manager and owner has insisted we crack down on it and everyone has to pay in full, which I think is fair enough.

Problem is a big struggle ensues with her every time she doesn't have the money. She has Down Syndrome and I am unsure to what extent she understands money. She can stamp/scream and cry for 30 or 40 minutes waiting for some other patron to cough up the money or for us to ring her sister, who is verbally angry with us every time we call even though she gave us her number.

It's honestly wearing me down and it isn't a nice experience day in day out. I am the only full time worker so she knows me best, and the manager is often upstairs in the office, and I feel like the only one who steps up to deal with the situation every time. The whole restaurant will be giving me evils while I'm explaining the rules to her, one time a woman gave her the money and said 'don't mind that evil man' about me.

They are a local family and I can see that my manager is hesitant to say anything to sister. I don't feel it's my place to say anything. Also not my business, but it is sometimes dark by the time she leaves to walk home and I worry for her. She does not have a phone, the estate isn't a good area and none of us at work walk home/go to the bus in groups etc. I'd guess she's in her early 30s but I wouldn't think she's capable of minding herself if anything happened.

Am I overreacting big time here? I'm out of ideas for what to say to her, I've tried explaining she has to pay more next time, I've tried explaining she could order something different/smaller, suggest she go home and get more money. Just out of ideas.

maxsmum

You're not being inappropriate at all. You need her sister to come and speak to the manager as she is a vulnerable adult and could also be getting into mixups in other social situations. You could suggest setting up a monthly account that the sister could settle if she prefers. Explain to the sister that the money situation is causing the customer distress and it might be easier for the sister to settle the account in future.

Emme

Is it possible for you to get the manager or owner to come down and deal with her when she comes in short of money? They are not being fair on you, the other staff or this poor woman.

Management will have to talk to her sister. If the woman in question doesn't understand money and she is always short somebody close to her could be taking advantage and hoping somebody will give her the money when she starts panicking. If the sister doesn't listen and isn't willing to help they should go to the Gardai because this woman is vulnerable.

Some people with Down Syndrome can cope very well, understand money and even hold down basic jobs under supervision. This woman must be badly affected.

HelgaWard

Hi, that's a tricky one!! Could you ask her to show you how much money she has, and then tell her she can have X, Y or Z for that?

woodchuck

It's really unfair that the manager is just leaving you to deal with this situation. I think you need to go your manager, explain how bad the situation is and ask them to have a conversation with the sister. Surely they can come to some sort of arrangement, e.g. setting up a tab that the sister agrees to pay weekly.

Princess Calla

Emme wrote: »

Management will have to talk to her sister. If the woman in question doesn't understand money and she is always short somebody close to her could be taking advantage and hoping somebody will give her the money when she starts panicking. If the sister doesn't listen and isn't willing to help they should go to the Gardai because this woman is vulnerable.

I thought this too.... Her family could easily be chancing their arm.

I definitely think a tab approach is the way to go.

It's an awful situation for everyone involved and I do think that the family should be more proactive in prevention especially as they are aware of the issue.

afterglow

hi OP
Firstly, you couldn't be accused of being insensitive, or overreacting at all, you posted very sensitively, and with care, so I'm sure you're a nice person IRL
Not your job, could you possibly suggest that your manager, or someone, do some research about DS, on the downs syndrome ireland website? I am unaware of the degrees to which people can be affected, so, i wouldn't know what to do with myself, were i in your situation, but I think perhaps maybe a little research by someone, if not you, and learning a little about why she's the wey she is may help you.
I also think talking to the sister possibly good idea also, depending on whats discovered in the course of the research.
If indeed this lady can't manage money, then its unfair to her, to allow her live in the community, because she's being placed in unfair situations and doing the same to others in the process
Don't envy you, and wish you the best. Also think as others have said, its unfair you're the only one dealing with this situation

zoobizoo

awkwardone wrote: »

They are a local family and I can see that my manager is hesitant to say anything to sister. .

The family are aware of this and are placing the onus on you. It's unfair on you.

The family need to be contacted and to take responsibility for this and it's up to your manager to do this.

Rubberchikken

Having downs syndrome doesn't stop a person from understanding money.
It's possible that having been left off with amounts owing a number of times she feels entitled to have this happen every time and is throwing a temper tantrum to gain her own way.

Your manager should do his.job and be responsible and contact this woman's sister to sort out this issue.

qwerty13

You’re being put in a terrible position OP. And really unfairly, by both your manager and the client’s family.

It is not on you to safeguard her ability to interact with others. Or her walk home. You’re a great person for even thinking of it, but you have to say it - or insist on it - that you can’t do this. I think you should keep repeating this.

LegacyUser

Rubberchikken wrote: »

Having downs syndrome doesn't stop a person from understanding money.
It's possible that having been left off with amounts owing a number of times she feels entitled to have this happen every time and is throwing a temper tantrum to gain her own way.

Your manager should do his.job and be responsible and contact this woman's sister to sort out this issue.

Actually, having DS can prevent a person from understanding money. Obviously, there are different degrees of severity etc. but it can be very difficult for some to understand the difference between different coins and notes, that what physically looks like a lot of money (coins etc) might be worth less than one note and how to add values to be able to work out if you have enough money for something. Also, the concept that different items cost different amounts of money. It sounds so simple and easy, but it really isn't for some people and some have a very childlike understanding of money.
OP, this situation is very unfortunate and it's unfair that the responsibility of handling it appears to have landed with you. Probably discussing with the sister and having a tab system is the best solution, though I'd imagine its probably important to the customer to have this little bit of independence.

Neyite

It's your managers job to sort it out. Every time. And I'd actually tell them that it's their duty to resolve ongoing customer disputes because it's outside of your remit. Ringing the sister is outside of your remit as well. It's entirely possible that the sister knows very well the amount is short and is playing you here. But that's a matter for management, not staff to resolve.



Each and every time I'd go get the manager to deal with it.

Xterminator

Hi Op

you are just going to have to make this a management problem, by summoning one, everytime there is an issue without fail.
Dont be the arbiter, or the referee. server the customer, if there is a problem get the manager.

cutymonalisa

OP, do you know if she is in day service for people with intellectual disability? Positive behavior support would be their bread and butter in terms of supporting her in such situations. If she is, maybe contact the service provider and ask to speak to her key worker or day service manager.
As she is also a vulnerable adult, and if you feel she is at risk of harm in the community, you can also contact your local HSE Safeguarding and Protection Team.

rondog

Dont set up a tab.Have the Family pay in advance and when she is nearing her limit tell teh family you need a top up so that you dont have to keep calling the sister.Why would you put up with all this nonsense and heart ache.Tell the family you will require cash in advance and when its nearing the limit you need a top up.

JustAThought

It sounds like you have said and tried everything you can and been very compassionate and understanding.How often does she come in & how often us there s problem with crying and emotions? Start writing down the days snd details. If she dosnt understand money a tab could be a nightmare to regulate - it sounds like it is a total nightmare for you particularly if she is having screaming meltdowns lasting 20 or 30 minutes in the place.She has an intellectual disability and it needs to be managed by someone who knows her and who understands her needs. If her family us local then get your manager to meet with them and outline the situation to them - perhaps it needs to be said tgst because of her meltdowns and emotional distress that she has to be accompanied by a responsible carer when in the shop. Either way your manager has to start doing their job and manage the problem -that us what they are paid to do.Call them everytime - your company can be sued for discriminating against someone with s disability -your manager needs to come up with s compassionate solution before it costs them 10 or 20k .

BTW if she is coming in every day as you suggested where is her family in supporting her with her cooking or nutrition needs? Obesity with DS is a big issue and no doubt your food is delicioys but if she is registered disabled then she is getting most likely about e200 a week -surely she is not spending it all in your fast food place? Sounds as if she might be. Red flag there. And if she is putting that much money behind the counter weekly then maybe your mnger should giver her scope for being let off - like a frequent flier discount only a special write off for her? Sounds reasonable on one level if your boss refuses to tackle the issue.

adrian92

Hi op , definitely one for your manager to accept responsibility to deal with.

Perhaps you can ask someone you know to advise you the best way to achieve approach your manager to ensure that the manager deals with every occasion that this arises

fits

Rubberchikken wrote: »

Having downs syndrome doesn't stop a person from understanding money.
.

Actually yes it can. Money is quite an abstract concept and many with cognitive impairments don’t get it.

AulWan

I can't see a tab system working here.

That would just allow her to spend whatever she wishes, and if she doesn't understand money as it is, she could run up quite a debt quite quickly. And then, what if she runs it up and the family refuse to pay? Can her sister or other family member be held legally responsible to pay for her debts? I doubt that would be enforceable. You could be left owed a big tab, and then what happens when its cut off?

I honestly don't know what the answer is here. But I do know that I would make the manager step up and take the lead here because this shouldn't be causing you stress at work every day.

AulWan

cutymonalisa wrote: »

you can also contact your local HSE Safeguarding and Protection Team.

This sounds like good advice.

SusieBlue

I think if her family won't take responsibility for her & get this issue under control, then you do need to report the issue to the HSE.
Its not your responsibility and well above your paygrade to be trying to manage this woman as well as carrying the duties you were hired for. As cold as it sounds, she's just not your problem & you can't be expected to have the skills needed to handle a person with such complex needs.

Not everyone would be as kind or patient to her as you have been and it sounds like her family are taking advantage of that. She's clearly a vulnerable woman and the fact that her family are giving her so much freedom, where she could potentially get into dangerous situations, is really unacceptable.

If a resolution doesn't come after a frank discussion with your manager then I would be reporting it and handing in my notice.

JustAThought

why would the OP hand in their notice and lose their livliehood? OP what age is this woman? She possibly may have attended the local/nearest St Michaels house. Maybe casually get the customers full name & give them a call for advice on what to do in this circumstance un general & drop the name in - she may have a registerd carer r social worker that they know of who could help... it may not be the sister.