Newish girlfriend not invited to old friend's wedding

Sorry about that

salmocab wrote: »

You think it’s better to have lower numbers with potentially people you don’t know there than have the people you actually want there?

Yes I honestly do. I know that in theory it's the bride and groom's big day, but I think that it's nice to make it as enjoyable as possible for all the people you invite. I've been to weddings on my own, and even knowing at least half the people there, I felt like a spare part. I wasn't happy to have any of my guests in the same boat, and it's telling that every one of them bought the plus one.

skallywag

Sorry about that wrote: »

I've been to weddings on my own, and even knowing at least half the people there, I felt like a spare part.

This point is very valid.

If I was going to invite someone without a +1, then I would at the very least make sure that that person was very good friends with some of the others going, and sat them together, etc. Inviting someone without a +1, who does not know someone really well there is just plain wrong in my book, and shows very little consideration for one's guests.

MartyMcFly84

It's really all about making a seating plan as best as possible. With you budget and guests invited.

I had plenty of guests with no plus one's. I sat friends from certain areas or times of my life together or sat people based on personality. My wife did the same, sat her college friends at one table, friends from Cardiff another etc. It was a reunion in ways for some and new friends made for others.

When you actually know your guests and their personalities things like needing a plus one to hold their hand for the day can be avoided.

In reality the seating plan is only for the meal then everyone gets up and mingles for the bar and band/DJ afterwords.

lainey_d_123

The pair of you sound as bad as each other. People are saying to leave her because she's a wagon but here you are, insulting and sniping at people who have taken the time to give you advice and refusing to accept perfectly valid suggestions from outsiders with a more objective view.

Imagine being so narcissistic that you think a couple who are busy planning a wedding have been trawling through your Instagram and seeing that you have a girlfriend. Imagine being so narcissistic that you would corner the groom at his stag to nag him again about your girlfriend not being invited. The sense of entitlement and self importance off the pair of you is ridiculous.

If I were your friend and saw this thread, I'd want nothing to do with you ever again.

salmocab

Sorry about that wrote: »

Yes I honestly do. I know that in theory it's the bride and groom's big day, but I think that it's nice to make it as enjoyable as possible for all the people you invite. I've been to weddings on my own, and even knowing at least half the people there, I felt like a spare part. I wasn't happy to have any of my guests in the same boat, and it's telling that every one of them bought the plus one.

Well fair enough but I’d rather have people I know and like there than a girl who my mate hasn’t even told me about but assumed I knew because he’s mentioned her on social media.

skallywag

salmocab wrote: »

Well fair enough but I’d rather have people I know and like there than a girl who my mate hasn’t even told me about but assumed I knew because he’s mentioned her on social media.

It very much depends on how well you know the couple getting married.

If the person in question is genuinely a good friend then they are getting a +1 with no questions asked, I could not care less who they bring, the +1 is for them, not for me. On the other hand, if I do not care enough to do so, then the friend themselves is most likely not getting an invite anyway.

Ellie2008

skallywag wrote: »

It very much depends on how well you know the couple getting married.

If the person in question is genuinely a good friend then they are getting a +1 with no questions asked, I could not care less who they bring, the +1 is for them, not for me. On the other hand, if I do not care enough to do so, then the friend themselves is most likely getting an invite anyway.

That was your approach to your own wedding. I’ve been to weddings without a plus one where I knew a handful of people & had a blast.

At the end of the day, this couple made a decision that works for them. The fact that they didn’t give the OP a plus one isn’t to be taken as a reflection on their friendship.

I hate the attitude that polite, considerate people give a plus one to everyone. I wanted my guests to have a good day & I put a lot of effort into organising the seating plans etc. I couldn’t have invited my family & friends if I’d given all my friends a plus one. I wasn’t going to leave a friend out for someone else’s plus one certainly not a plus one who wasn’t even a partner.

skallywag

Ellie2008 wrote: »

The fact that they didn’t give the OP a plus one isn’t to be taken as a reflection on their friendship.

I disagree strongly.

If you are not giving a +1 on a wedding invite, then it's pretty clear that you are not in the Happy Couple's close circle of friends.

MartyMcFly84

If you are not giving a +1 on a wedding invite, then it's pretty clear that you are not in the Happy Couple's close circle of friends.

I 100% disagree with this statement. Most of my close friends at my wedding did not get a plus one. The fact they made no issue and it was seamless to them reinforce how good friends they are. We had a fantastic time.

skallywag

MartyMcFly84 wrote: »

Most of my close friends at my wedding did not get a plus one.

I guess it comes down to how many close friends one has?

Big difference between ten and fifty.

salmocab

skallywag wrote: »

I disagree strongly.

If you are not giving a +1 on a wedding invite, then it's pretty clear that you are not in the Happy Couple's close circle of friends.

Why?

woodchuck

Mod note:

As this is now just becoming a general discussion, I think it's time to lock this thread.