I did not want to show the world the sadness in my eyes.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

the_pen_turner wrote: »

im aware of this, im not disputing it or explaining it away.
but that doesnt make him an abuser.

It doesn’t look good though, does it? Pretty much no other person would get a pass on that. As a thought experiment, consider a wide range of adults you know doing what he admitted to. Different personalities etc. Would you consider it acceptable, normal behaviour for any of them? No matter how people try to claim he had the apparently unique mental condition that made him childlike, the reality is, he had adult sexual urges like anyone else.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

MOR316 wrote: »

I was molested by Michael Jackson, in 2012, in the World Trade Centre.
I expect to wake up to phone calls from The Sun Newspaper and have Dan Reed ask if I'm interested in making a documentary.

After all, he did say in January 2019, 100s were now going to come forward...Still waiting.

If it was 5 or 50 or 500 people, what does it matter? And I can’t blame people for not coming forward. They are rounded upon. And heaven help them if they’re not a perfect victim (I’m pretty sure anyone could have dirt dug up on them). It amuses me his rabid defenders can’t see that.

Sure, go on, make a documentary. Who’s stopping you?

MOR316

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

If it was 5 or 50 or 500 people, what does it matter? And I can’t blame people for not coming forward. They are rounded upon. And heaven help them if they’re not a perfect victim (I’m pretty sure anyone could have dirt dug up on them). It amuses me his rabid defenders can’t see that.

Sure, go on, make a documentary. Who’s stopping you?

Took you off ignore, wanted to see this.

I apologise if I offended you. See my long post above.

However, you for some strange reason, seem to want the guy to have molested those people. Even calling people who defend him victims. Really not trying to be bad but, I find that rather sick.

Yes, you are correct that people go wayyyyy over the top defending him. I've had such experiences with them and rolled my eyes at them on several occasions. However, there are no facts he molested anyone, only facts he didn't.

As I said, you can read my long post above, you can read the explanation of the settlement a few posts down from it if you wish, up to you. Again, not my opinion, actual facts!

Again, I apologise if I offended you. I became rattled because you seem to pop up anytime I mention his name but, no excuse if I did then to go on to offend you.

I'm off to bed, you have your view, you do your thing, sorry but not going to convince me until there is any sort of evidence that he committed a crime and as of right now, there's not. Maybe some day there will be but, not now and I highly doubt there ever will be. The End.

Hope you have a great weekend Talk again, under different topics

AllForIt

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

Nah. I think you passed that bar all by yourself with your 'funny' lyric quote yesterday.

Oh that.

Well I suppose it's all a matter of perception. I heard these days that it's not the intention that matter's it's how one perceives it. Interesting. Bit wokish that.

Actually I regret it, because I've had that really irritating song in my head since.

But I'm glad that I'm performing a public service on boards that I make off-the-cuff remarks that ppl's can interpret as sick. Sickest of the sick.

Enjoy the outrage. Your welcome.

AllForIt

eviltwin wrote: »

Maybe this is the way she feels is best for her to get it out there. It can be incredibly liberating to share a trauma, how it's shared is a very individual thing. I can understand her request for her family's privacy, they are not public people and she doesn't want them hounded. I don't believe in judging how people process trauma, if you have never experienced something of this nature how can you possibly say what's right or appropriate?

Excuse me but 'getting it out there' goes against everything any rape victim as ever said.

On the one hand it's terribly traumatic to reveal such things and all of a sudden it's incredible 'liberating' to get it out there.

Which is it?

There's a lot makey-upy stuff going on in this thread.



P.S enjoy being outraged at my comment.

SusieBlue

AllForIt wrote: »

Excuse me but 'getting it out there' goes against everything any rape victim as ever said.

On the one hand it's terribly traumatic to reveal such things and all of a sudden it's incredible 'liberating' to get it out there.

Which is it?

There's a lot makey-upy stuff going on in this thread.



P.S enjoy being outraged at my comment.

And once again, the point was totally missed.

Some people process trauma by disclosing what happened to them, and find it liberating after the fact, because it can help them heal and come to terms with the assault.

This was offered up as a possible reason for why she might have decided to go about things this way, but as none of us are mind readers, we are all just speculating.

One thing we do know is that there is no handbook of guidelines for disclosing a traumatic event like that, and just because you think it’s suspicious and weird, doesn’t make it so.
Everyone processes trauma differently, there is no right or wrong way, and that’s the point that was being made.
Just because it isn’t how you think she should be doing things, doesn’t make her a liar.

Raconteuse

AllForIt wrote: »

Enjoy the outrage. Your welcome.

AllForIt wrote: »

P.S enjoy being outraged at my comment.

You and another person punctuating your posts with that kind of snide, passive aggressive stuff - it's really not necessary, and isn't a good look. Where did eviltwin indicate she's "outraged"? (A word regularly used to discredit people and make them out to be foaming at the mouth when they're nothing like it).

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

MOR316 wrote: »

Took you off ignore, wanted to see this.

I apologise if I offended you. See my long post above.

However, you for some strange reason, seem to want the guy to have molested those people. Even calling people who defend him victims. Really not trying to be bad but, I find that rather sick.

Yes, you are correct that people go wayyyyy over the top defending him. I've had such experiences with them and rolled my eyes at them on several occasions. However, there are no facts he molested anyone, only facts he didn't.

As I said, you can read my long post above, you can read the explanation of the settlement a few posts down from it if you wish, up to you. Again, not my opinion, actual facts!

Again, I apologise if I offended you. I became rattled because you seem to pop up anytime I mention his name but, no excuse if I did then to go on to offend you.

I'm off to bed, you have your view, you do your thing, sorry but not going to convince me until there is any sort of evidence that he committed a crime and as of right now, there's not. Maybe some day there will be but, not now and I highly doubt there ever will be. The End.

Hope you have a great weekend Talk again, under different topics

Shocking. Of course you did. I “pop up” because I read AH a lot and I will always point out how MJ shot himself in the foot when it comes up. I make no apologies for that. And I’m not trying to change your mind. Get over yourself. I’m replying so that passing readers have the information.

The second bolded bit is a most odd deduction. I’m happy for you to keep making it; knock yourself out. But it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. I don’t want to believe it. I just do believe it. Big diff. And if I believe them then obviously I’m going to call them victims. There’s nothing “sick” about it but, like I said, I’m happy for you to keep beating that drum. It’s most transparent. Unfortunately for defenders, MJ admitted to something that nobody else would be excused for. It’s an awkward to thing to have to dance around, to try to explain away, I know. Commiserations. He really threw himself under the bus there. Poor persecuted MJ.

I saw the settlement “explanation”. [monotonous tone] I. Am. So. Shocked. That. You. Believed. It.[/monotonous tone] I’m also amused at you trying to pretend you’re not one of his enthusiastic defenders. You are doing a really bad job of hiding it. The ad hominem insults (e.g. waffling nebulously about recent posts I’ve made in other threads) with little provocation were a giveaway sign.

One eyed Jack

volchitsa wrote: »

Yes, that's why it was perfectly reasonable for any journalist not to play the supporting role that he seems to have been expecting. And why the comparison with someone who is alleged to have been a victim of abuse, rather than a possible perpetrator is completely inappropriate.

The only poster making that comparison though, is you! I didn’t make the comparison. Read back on the post you took issue with. I was using the way Martin Bashir manipulated Michael Jackson into believing he had MJs best interests in mind, when in all reality, we now know he hadn’t, as an example of kind of behaviour that is common among journalists which as I said in the post - journalists aren’t known for their kindness to anyone. They’re more well known for manipulating people to get a story that they know the public will want to read.

I think it’s just as reasonable to assume Duffy is lying in order to appeal to the public, and I think it’s also reasonable to assume she is doing so because she believes a journalist was kind to her once. All this nonsense about how she couldn’t sing and all the rest of it is just in my mind a carefully constructed and controlled narrative to take advantage of a hot topic and gain sympathy for the singer and restore her popularity.

I’ve always been skeptical of celebrities making claims of how they have had to overcome adversity or some personal hardship, it makes them more relatable to ordinary people who have experienced hardship or trauma, and often times it turns out to have been manufactured or embellished for effect. Ordinary people do it too, just the stakes aren’t as high by comparison to celebrities who have a public image to maintain in order to appeal to ordinary people.

MOR316

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Shocking. Of course you did. I “pop up” because I read AH a lot and I will always point out how MJ shot himself in the foot when it comes up. I make no apologies for that. And I’m not trying to change your mind. Get over yourself. I’m replying so that passing readers have the information.

The second bolded bit is a most odd deduction. I’m happy for you to keep making it; knock yourself out. But it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. I don’t want to believe it. I just do believe it. Big diff. And if I believe them then obviously I’m going to call them victims. There’s nothing “sick” about it but, like I said, I’m happy for you to keep beating that drum. It’s most transparent. Unfortunately for defenders, MJ admitted to something that nobody else would be excused for. It’s an awkward to thing to have to dance around, to try to explain away, I know. Commiserations. He really threw himself under the bus there. Poor persecuted MJ.

I saw the settlement “explanation”. [monotonous tone] I. Am. So. Shocked. That. You. Believed. It.[/monotonous tone] I’m also amused at you trying to pretend you’re not one of his enthusiastic defenders. You are doing a really bad job of hiding it. The ad hominem insults (e.g. waffling nebulously about recent posts I’ve made in other threads) with little provocation were a giveaway sign.

I never hid anything. I even said in an earlier post I will defend him against anyone who refuses or chooses not to look at the facts or both sides of it. I'm not hiding anything. You're just twisting words

My "insults" were just pointing out your hypocrisy. You have told posters to basically shut their mouths, no one cares about their opinion in other threads, whilst forcing your opinion on others. You asked me to go point them out before but, you know the ones I'm on about and if anyone wants to read them, they can easily find them. I've other things to be doing, hence why I'm not on here all day, everyday. Sorry if that offended you but, "get over yourself" is a phrase you use to a lot of posters when they innocently make a point or sharing an opinion and then you flat out belittle them. I would hope you're not like that in person

I would rather believe the FBI, the court documents, investigative journalists, 99% of those who were with him during those times, people who knew him over someone on Boards.ie. and someone who likes everything they post

I've said all I have to say on the matter, nothing more to say. I'm sure you'll respond with the same condescending, snide and provocative tone and words but, knock yourself out. Ha, myself and another poster even agreed with two of your points yet, you dont seem happy until you convince people of his guilt/get people to agree with you to feel validated and any facts I actually give you, you wont answer or discuss them or even recognise them. Instead, you just become all condescending, trying to make out that I'm wrong to believe the courts and the FBI and not you instead? I can't be arsed. Sorry.

The end. Have a good day

Millicently

SusieBlue wrote: »

And once again, the point was totally missed.

Some people process trauma by disclosing what happened to them, and find it liberating after the fact, because it can help them heal and come to terms with the assault.

This was offered up as a possible reason for why she might have decided to go about things this way, but as none of us are mind readers, we are all just speculating.

One thing we do know is that there is no handbook of guidelines for disclosing a traumatic event like that, and just because you think it’s suspicious and weird, doesn’t make it so.
Everyone processes trauma differently, there is no right or wrong way, and that’s the point that was being made.
Just because it isn’t how you think she should be doing things, doesn’t make her a liar.

Are you Stretch Armstrong? Because you sound absolutely ridiculous. You are tying yourself in knots trying to justify a woman using her alleged rape to make a comeback. She has admitted that she wants to make a comeback, she hasn't spoken about this before and is obviously using it to try to restart a career and you are so desperate to justify cashing in on being raped. I don't know whether to laugh at you or feel pity for you.What she's doing is disgusting and shameful and I'd honestly hand on heart say that this lady is most likely to have been getting psychiatric treatment in a hospital somewhere for the last number of years than living out of the spotlight out of choice. I would seriously question her motives for this and wouldn't be surprised if it's untrue and just a publicity stunt, don't choke on your moral outrage.

eviltwin

AllForIt wrote: »

Excuse me but 'getting it out there' goes against everything any rape victim as ever said.

On the one hand it's terribly traumatic to reveal such things and all of a sudden it's incredible 'liberating' to get it out there.

Which is it?

There's a lot makey-upy stuff going on in this thread.



P.S enjoy being outraged at my comment.

I'm not outraged by your comment. Why would I be?

I'm speaking from my own personal experience of rape. I can see similarities with this story. I've had experience of someone telling another person my story without my knowledge versus sharing it to friends in my own way and I can assure you, it's a lot less traumatic to be in control of how the information shared. It's also a lot less traumatic to share it once via social media compared to telling the same story in person multiple times so I don't buy that an Instagram post means it's untrue.

And yes, liberating is the word I would use. Keeping something like that a secret and the worry that goes with it is a huge burden to carry.

SusieBlue

Millicently wrote: »

Are you Stretch Armstrong? Because you sound absolutely ridiculous. You are tying yourself in knots trying to justify a woman using her alleged rape to make a comeback. She has admitted that she wants to make a comeback, she hasn't spoken about this before and is obviously using it to try to restart a career and you are so desperate to justify cashing in on being raped. I don't know whether to laugh at you or feel pity for you.What she's doing is disgusting and shameful and I'd honestly hand on heart say that this lady is most likely to have been getting psychiatric treatment in a hospital somewhere for the last number of years than living out of the spotlight out of choice. I would seriously question her motives for this and wouldn't be surprised if it's untrue and just a publicity stunt, don't choke on your moral outrage.

I sound ridiculous, but you're stating all of the bolded as factual, based on absolutely nothing? Do you understand the difference between an opinion and facts?
Where did you get that crystal ball again?

If stating that rape victims all choose to disclose their trauma differently is me "tying myself up in knots" then I'd hate to hear what you think of your own posts, since again, your "facts" are based off nothing.

You are speculating here just as the rest of us are. I'm not remotely morally outraged, so you can wind back the hysteria on that front.

The way you choose to word your posts is horrible, which doesn't outrage me, but it tells me we are clearly never going to agree on issues like this, so I don't see any point in continuing this conversation.

Millicently

SusieBlue wrote: »

I sound ridiculous, but you're stating all of the bolded as factual, based on absolutely nothing? Do you understand the difference between an opinion and facts?
Where did you get that crystal ball again?

If stating that rape victims all choose to disclose their trauma differently is me "tying myself up in knots" then I'd hate to hear what you think of your own posts, since again, your "facts" are based off nothing.

You are speculating here just as the rest of us are. I'm not remotely morally outraged, so you can wind back the hysteria on that front.

The way you choose to word your posts is horrible, which doesn't outrage me, but it tells me we are clearly never going to agree on issues like this, so I don't see any point in continuing this conversation.

You are pure comedy gold. The woman's last album tanked, she disappeared off the face of the earth. Resurfaces after a decade claiming to have been through an horrendous rape ordeal which left her wanting to hide away from the world so they 'wouldn't see the sadness in her eyes':rolleyes: Then announces on Instagram that she would like people to submit questions to her about her rape so that she can do a spoken interview about it and she's going to serialise it in Rolling Stone Magazine. You'd have to be a complete simpleton to believe this is dealing with trauma. Honestly, the stupid is strong in some people. Yeah, my wording is what's wrong with the issue. Reality check, failed singer appears after a decade to try to salvage career and uses alleged sensational rape as a gimmick.

Raconteuse

Again someone imagining that people who strongly disagree with them are foaming at the mouth in outrage. But of course they're not. Just that tactic of discrediting them.

SusieBlue

Millicently wrote: »

You are pure comedy gold. You'd have to be a complete simpleton to believe this is dealing with trauma. Honestly, the stupid is strong in some people. Yeah, my wording is what's wrong with the issue.

Your point closes all credibility when you can't make it without being insulting and nasty. I was perfectly polite in my reply to you, even if you don't agree with my opinion, so your above post was completely unwarrante & unjustified.
I won't engage with people who don't have manners.

MOR316

Raconteuse wrote: »

Again someone imagining that people who strongly disagree with them are foaming at the mouth in outrage. But of course they're not. Just that tactic of discrediting them.

You aimed that at me yesterday and you're wrong in regards me.
When someone is constantly following you around and trying to be condesending and belitting to anything you post, you can literally feel them foaming at the mouth.

We disagreed with each other. I ain't imagining you sitting there with a voodoo doll, sticking a knife into it
Maybe you are with me though

Raconteuse

MOR316 wrote: »

You aimed that at me yesterday and you're wrong in regards me.
When someone is constantly following you around and trying to be condesending and belitting to anything you post, you can literally feel them foaming at the mouth.

We disagreed with each other. I ain't imagining you sitting there with a voodoo doll, sticking a knife into it
Maybe you are with me though

God you have a weird take on people simply spotting a tactic you use...

anewme

I had something happen (harrassment) that at the time, I decided not to speak out about.

Fast forward 4 years and it is in the past, but I am left very angry that I did not "out" the person at the time. I feel by doing this, I put other peoples feelings before my own and now I have the urge if anyone asks me just to "blah". I think because I haven't, its still "there".

So I can totally see why just even saying this out to no one in particular would help someone like Duffy, acknowledging a serious trauma.

Boards.ie: Niamh

Millicently, do not post in this thread again. Your style and tone of posting need serious attention, both are far below what is acceptable. If I see you posting like this anywhere else on the site you'll be getting more than a thread ban.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

MOR316 wrote: »

You aimed that at me yesterday and you're wrong in regards me.
When someone is constantly following you around and trying to be condesending and belitting to anything you post, you can literally feel them foaming at the mouth.

We disagreed with each other. I ain't imagining you sitting there with a voodoo doll, sticking a knife into it
Maybe you are with me though

I don’t know if it’s me you’re referring to here but we’ve engaged on, what, two threads? Months apart. “Following you around?” - no, just reading threads and responding to posts therein. The dramatics.

Oh, and if I was as insulting to people as you say, I’d have been banned by now. Try again.

Stateofyou

Millicently wrote: »

She announced it on Instagram and invited people to submit questions for her to answer about it in the coming weeks. Please elaborate on how that isn't bizarre? What part of the healing process does that help? Seriously, I'd love to know because if she had told her story in full on Instagram today nobody would remember it next week but she has arranged this to drag it out over as many weeks as she feels she can. Rape victims generally don't invite the world to submit questions on their ordeal.

Shut. Up.

One eyed Jack

anewme wrote: »

So I can totally see why just even saying this out to no one in particular would help someone like Duffy, acknowledging a serious trauma.

I think anyone can relate to the experience of having been treated badly and feeling like they aren’t able to speak out about it for whatever their reasons are, so of course they’re going to be able to relate to Duffys claims to some extent.

That doesn’t mean Duffys claims are actually credible, and there is every reason to believe that they aren’t. She’s just come out and made claims and hasn’t pointed the finger at anyone or “outed” anyone as it were. Her management team at the time have refused to comment, so we have no further information to corroborate her claims.

The differences of course between an ordinary person making the same claims is that Duffy isn’t just an ordinary person. She had the potential to have a career like Adele, and was out around the same time, only her second album sales were dismal, and her last comeback attempt in 2015 wasn’t exactly a success either -

SHE WAS BIGGER THAN ADELE – NOW DUFFY’S MAKING AN UNUSUAL COMEBACK


I don’t think the Coke commercial ruined her career, it just didn’t help when her career was already waning. As an example of how not to do something it was a fairly stark example, as is this current attempt to court publicity while asking for it to be a positive experience and for her family’s privacy to be respected. Once it’s out there, Duffy doesn’t get to call the shots on how it’s perceived by the public unfortunately.

Stateofyou

One eyed Jack wrote: »

That doesn’t mean Duffys claims are actually credible, and there is every reason to believe that they aren’t. She’s just come out and made claims and hasn’t pointed the finger at anyone or “outed” anyone as it were. Her management team at the time have refused to comment, so we have no further information to corroborate her claims.

The differences of course between an ordinary person making the same claims is that Duffy isn’t just an ordinary person. She had the potential to have a career like Adele, and was out around the same time, only her second album sales were dismal, and her last comeback attempt in 2015 wasn’t exactly a success either -

Remember Caroline Flack? You're part of the problem. There's absolutely no need for it. What do you care on a personal level, seriously. But Duffy is a real person, who deserves compassion and respect, and she will be harmed by sh*t talk like this-maybe not specifically yours but collectively from the lowest ar*seholes of society and it will be another injury on top of what she's already endured. It costs you nothing to give respect. Be a better person than this.

Stevieluvsye

Stateofyou wrote: »

Remember Caroline Flack? You're part of the problem. There's absolutely no need for it. What do you care on a personal level, seriously. But Duffy is a real person, who deserves compassion and respect, and she will be harmed by sh*t talk like this-maybe not specifically yours but collectively from the lowest ar*seholes of society and it will be another injury on top of what she's already endured. It costs you nothing to give respect. Be a better person than this.

creditcarder

Stateofyou wrote: »

Remember Caroline Flack? You're part of the problem. There's absolutely no need for it. What do you care on a personal level, seriously. But Duffy is a real person, who deserves compassion and respect, and she will be harmed by sh*t talk like this-maybe not specifically yours but collectively from the lowest ar*seholes of society and it will be another injury on top of what she's already endured. It costs you nothing to give respect. Be a better person than this.

Are you his mother secretly? I really hate that phrase be better, it's the most demeaning overly narcistic thing in the world :P

One eyed Jack

Stateofyou wrote: »

Remember Caroline Flack? You're part of the problem. There's absolutely no need for it. What do you care on a personal level, seriously. But Duffy is a real person, who deserves compassion and respect, and she will be harmed by sh*t talk like this-maybe not specifically yours but collectively from the lowest ar*seholes of society and it will be another injury on top of what she's already endured. It costs you nothing to give respect. Be a better person than this.

I’m not going to be rude about it, but that’s quite dramatic. Of course Duffy is a real person like us all, and like us all, we all leave ourselves open to being questioned when we make dramatic claims on a public platform such as social media. Why I care on a personal level is frankly none of your business, because unlike Duffy I’m not looking for validation from anywhere I can get it. I’m already a better person than whatever you think I am because I don’t care for your validation either, much less your **** talk about being one of the lowest arseholes of society simply because I question the motivations of a former celebrity and I’m cynical as to whether this is just another attempt to reclaim public adoration and step out from under Adele’s shadow (which is a lot smaller since Adele became more infamous for her weight loss than her singing ability).

anewme

One eyed Jack wrote: »

and step out from under Adele’s shadow (which is a lot smaller since Adele became more infamous for her weight loss than her singing ability).

Not sure why the bitchy comment is needed.

I'm not a big Adele fan but you are way off the mark here.

Adele's record sales stats are stand out in the industry. She's one of the biggest selling artists of recent times, probably of all time.

Stateofyou

creditcarder wrote: »

Are you his mother secretly? I really hate that phrase be better, it's the most demeaning overly narcistic thing in the world :P

I bet you hate the phrase, 'who hurt you,' too.

Stateofyou

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I’m not going to be rude about it, but that’s quite dramatic. Of course Duffy is a real person like us all, and like us all, we all leave ourselves open to being questioned when we make dramatic claims on a public platform such as social media. Why I care on a personal level is frankly none of your business, because unlike Duffy I’m not looking for validation from anywhere I can get it. I’m already a better person than whatever you think I am because I don’t care for your validation either, much less your **** talk about being one of the lowest arseholes of society simply because I question the motivations of a former celebrity and I’m cynical as to whether this is just another attempt to reclaim public adoration and step out from under Adele’s shadow (which is a lot smaller since Adele became more infamous for her weight loss than her singing ability).

None of that is any defence or excuse. What will it take for people like you to stop cutting others down? Will Duffy now have to be found dead first? Your words here validate enough about you for anyone reading. They say far more about you than they do about her (or Adele).

Stevieluvsye

Actual live footage of stateofyou

Stateofyou

Ha ha! good one.

Here's some more actual live footage of you on the playground -

Stevieluvsye

Stateofyou wrote: »

Ha ha! good one.

Here's some more actual live footage of you on the playground -

OMG so funny

Anyway you come across with anger issues in your posts. Cool your jets love

Stateofyou

Am I doing this right?

anewme

What the absolute f?

One eyed Jack

anewme wrote: »

Not sure why the bitchy comment is needed.

I'm not a big Adele fan but you are way off the mark here.

Adele's record sales stats are stand out in the industry. She's one of the biggest selling artists of recent times, probably of all time.

Well that one clearly went right over your head, so I’ll do you a courtesy. It wasn’t a commentary on Adele, it was a criticism of the way that the media have for years hounded her about her appearance, because that’s what a lot of people cared about above her music (and I was and still am a fan of her music), until eventually even for Adele herself, her appearance was more important than her music, and the media focus on her appearance over her talent has always been nauseating to witness. There’s no question she became more successful than Duffy but maybe you don’t remember at the time the comparisons that were often made between them.

If your point was about their ability to sell records, well with more record sales and industry recognition and a greater presence on social media than them both is Taylor Swift. Y’know what she did when she was sexually assaulted? She sued the letcherous creep for $1 and won -


Taylor Swift awarded $1 in groping trial


I thought before she had class, but that was just incredible.

anewme

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Well that one clearly went right over your head, so I’ll do you a courtesy. It wasn’t a commentary on Adele, it was a criticism of the way that the media have for years hounded her about her appearance, because that’s what a lot of people cared about above her music (and I was and still am a fan of her music), until eventually even for Adele herself, her appearance was more important than her music, and the media focus on her appearance over her talent has always been nauseating to witness. There’s no question she became more successful than Duffy but maybe you don’t remember at the time the comparisons that were often made between them.

You dont need to do me any courtesy.

Your posts are often rambling off topic ( Adele had not been mentioned previously) and yet you try and make out others are stupid for not understanding what is in your head but not clearly communicated.

MOR316

Fantastic entertainment this thread...

One eyed Jack

anewme wrote: »

You dont need to do me any courtesy.

Your posts are often rambling off topic ( Adele had not been mentioned previously) and yet you try and make out others are stupid for not understanding what is in your head but not clearly communicated.

I know I don’t need to do you any courtesy, that’s why it’s called a courtesy, and not an obligation. And at no point have I ever tried to make out anyone was stupid, quite the opposite, and that’s why I chose to do you a courtesy whereas if I thought otherwise, I’d simply have ignored your post.

AllForIt

SusieBlue wrote: »

And once again, the point was totally missed.

Some people process trauma by disclosing what happened to them, and find it liberating after the fact, because it can help them heal and come to terms with the assault.

This was offered up as a possible reason for why she might have decided to go about things this way, but as none of us are mind readers, we are all just speculating.

One thing we do know is that there is no handbook of guidelines for disclosing a traumatic event like that, and just because you think it’s suspicious and weird, doesn’t make it so.
Everyone processes trauma differently, there is no right or wrong way, and that’s the point that was being made.
Just because it isn’t how you think she should be doing things, doesn’t make her a liar.

This makes virtually NO sense whatsoever.

We've been told again and again and again and again that rape victims wish to keep it to themselves, that they don't wish to go to court because they don't wish to re-live the experience. It's a further traumatic experience they would much perfer not to go through but they might in the interest of justice.

Now your saying that isn't true at all. That it's all down to the personality of the victim, and it's all totally random how a person will process it.

You are contradicting the accepting thinking on this, if I may say so, to 'fit'.

And I reiterate, I'm not calling anyone a lier. I don't know Duffy personally, as some ppl here talk as if they do, all I questioned was the media story that was presented. There may be a perfectly rational explanation for the questions I raised, but because I don't know Duffy personally I can't ask her, I can only work with what's out there in the media.

Raconteuse wrote: »

You and another person punctuating your posts with that kind of snide, passive aggressive stuff - it's really not necessary, and isn't a good look. Where did eviltwin indicate she's "outraged"? (A word regularly used to discredit people and make them out to be foaming at the mouth when they're nothing like it).

You're not keeping up the thread. I was speaking to the thread as whole, not the the posters I quoted specifically. I was the one who was labeled 'sick' by seamus, and I'm not going to take it lying down, just because I made a few casual comments on the story.

And I say again, all I see is ppl mis-interpreting my comments, taking me out of context, in order to feed your outrage. Have fun if that's what your into.

SusieBlue

AllForIt wrote: »

This makes virtually NO sense whatsoever.

We've been told again and again and again and again that rape victims wish to keep it to themselves, that they don't wish to go to court because they don't wish to re-live the experience. It's a further traumatic experience they would much perfer not to go through but they might in the interest of justice.

Now your saying that isn't true at all. That it's all down to the personality of the victim, and it's all totally random how a person will process it.

You are contradicting the accepting thinking on this, if I may say so, to 'fit'.

And I reiterate, I'm not calling anyone a lier. I don't know Duffy personally, as some ppl here talk as if they do, all I questioned was the media story that was presented. There may be a perfectly rational explanation for the questions I raised, but because I don't know Duffy personally I can't ask her, I can only work with what's out there in the media.

No, rape victims generally don’t report to the authorities because they can’t go through the trauma of a court case, over the fear of not being believed.
So that’s a massive misrepresentation in your part.
That has absolutely nothing to do with how, if, or when they choose to disclose their assault to family, friends or the general public, and is a completely different topic entirely.
The statistic you are speaking of refers to that and not to who the victim chooses to disclose to, if at all.

Statistically, sexual assaults are among the most under reported crimes for that very reason, which is ironic given some of the posts on this thread.

I’m not trying to make anything fit, either.
Dealing with being assaulted is like dealing with the grief from the death of a loved one, or dealing with your marriage suddenly ending.
There is no standard ‘one fits all’ approach to processing the trauma.
What would seem like a normal reaction to one person would be bizarre to another, and vice verse.
This is widely accepted information and this is the accepted thinking, and unless you can show me a statistic proving there is only one standard way of handling such a traumatic event, I won’t believe you.

Stateofyou

AllForIt wrote: »

This makes virtually NO sense whatsoever.

We've been told again and again and again and again that rape victims wish to keep it to themselves, that they don't wish to go to court because they don't wish to re-live the experience. It's a further traumatic experience they would much perfer not to go through but they might in the interest of justice.

Now your saying that isn't true at all. That it's all down to the personality of the victim, and it's all totally random how a person will process it.

You are contradicting the accepting thinking on this, if I may say so, to 'fit'.

Take a seat. People who spoke out and took it further:

Dr Blasey Ford
Anita Hill
All the celebrities who came forward in giving the #metoo movement momentum and the ordinary women and men who spoke out in the thousands (millions?!) leading to the global movement it is today (particularly Harvey Weinstein's accusers, leading to two convictions - so far)
The Belfast rape trial
Lady Gaga
Terry Crews
Brendan Frasier
Bill O'Reilly
The thousands of stories I've read on the internet
The young women gymnasts and the doctor who assaulted them
The woman whom Brock Turner raped (she wrote a book too)
My sister
My wife
My cousin
My mam who disclosed an earlier trauma in her youth all these years later
A small handful of friends/acquaintances
A handful of my wife's friends
Both my wife and I have work colleagues who spoke out
Etc.

creditcarder

Your first example is abad one imo. Her lawywer pretty much said that they did it for politcal reasons and her storyline changed mored than a yoyo diet.

Edit: Meet too was mostly exagerated accusations also. Tbh, continue on with your narrative, but don't start complaining if you raise a generation of women that act like deers on ice when they leave the house.

anewme

creditcarder wrote: »

Your first example is abad one imo. Her lawywer pretty much said that they did it for politcal reasons and her storyline changed mored than a yoyo diet.

Edit: Meet too was mostly exagerated accusations also. Tbh, continue on with your narrative, but don't start complaining if you raise a generation of women that act like deers on ice when they leave the house.

It's a very good post by Stateofyou.

It shows the exact opposite of deers on ice.

My two nieces (now teenagers) are always told to speak up. They have a confidence and through sport have travelled the world without their parents and no bs attitude that I learned the hard way.

creditcarder

anewme wrote: »

It's a very good post by Stateofyou.

It shows the exact opposite of deers on ice.

My two nieces (now teenagers) are always told to speak up. They have a confidence and through sport have travelled the world without their parents and no bs attitude that I learned the hard way.

I disagree with the first point. Curious why you think that and I disagree with the second point. I see a lot of female travellers from America behaving like deers on ice in eastern europe.



It's good that they have a no BS attitude as I'm sure you can get ahead in life thinking everybody else is BS :P

anewme

creditcarder wrote: »

I disagree with the first point. Curious why you think that and I disagree with the second point. I see a lot of female travellers from America behaving like deers on ice in eastern europe.



It's good that they have a no BS attitude as I'm sure you can get ahead in life thinking everybody else is BS :P

It's not thinking everybody else is bs, it's taking no bs from anyone.

For example, if a dirty aulfella put his hand on your arse back in the day, (roman hands and Russian fingers) we'd be more inclined to say nothing but try to avoid the person, where the new generation are more likely to confront it head on, especially seeing it's not something to keep hidden by others speaking out.

I'd say stateofyou 's family will be raised fine.

creditcarder

anewme wrote: »

It's not thinking everybody else is bs, it's taking no bs from anyone.

For example, if a dirty aulfella put his hand on your arse back in the day, (roman hands and Russian fingers) we'd be more inclined to say nothing but try to avoid the person, where the new generation are more likely to confront it head on, especially seeing it's not something to keep hidden by others speaking out.

I'd say stateofyou 's family will be raised fine.

That's great, but, as per usual, there is more to a woman's life than being a victim of male sexuality. On another note, good luck moving up in a company without taking BS which is the main part of working outside the house. Moving on.



Curious why you found the post to be so helpful? Was it written in a pleasing way? :P

anewme

creditcarder wrote: »

That's great, but, as per usual, there is more to a woman's life than being a victim of male sexuality. On another note, good luck moving up in a company without taking BS which is the main part of working outside the house. Moving on.



Curious why you found the post to be so helpful? Was it written in a pleasing way? :P

No one is saying anyone has to be a victim of anyone's sexuality. That's the point.

As regards working in a Company, I've 30 years work experience under my belt, so dont preach to the converted.

Most Companies now promote a culture of integrity and will have a speak up policy. The shouting and bullying management styles of the past are no longer tolerated and we have seen bullies being exposed.

I'm disagreeing with your post that Stateofyou will have challenges raising a family.

It's more like people with your antiquated views will.

Not sure what "written in a pleasing way" means or infers?. Odd as bejaysus.

creditcarder

anewme wrote: »

No one is saying anyone has to be a victim of anyone's sexuality. That's the point.

As regards working in a Company, I've 30 years work experience under my belt, so dont preach to the converted.

Most Companies now promote a culture of integrity and will have a speak up policy. The shouting and bullying management styles of the past are no longer tolerated and we gave seen bullies being exposed.

I'm disagreeing with your post that Stateofyou will have challenges raising a family.

It's more like people with your antiquated views will.

Not sure what written in a pleasing way means or infers. Odd as bejaysus.

Hmmm, is calling someone antiquated/mysognist a micro-false accusation? I do not want to go down this rabbit hole of razors, but I never criticised state of you over raising a family or any kind of other middle school finger pointing.



What do you think about the false accusers mentioned in the post?

anewme

creditcarder wrote: »

Hmmm, is calling someone antiquated/mysognist a micro-false accusation? I do not want to go down this rabbit hole of razors, but I never criticised state of you over raising a family or any kind of other middle school finger pointing.

Thtats exactly what you did as per below. Claiming there would be a generation of women acting like deers on ice because if the posters outlook and attitude. As Sateofyou specifically referenced family members in their comprehensive list, it's a fair to believe that your criticism extends to them also.

"Edit: Meet too was mostly exagerated accusations also. Tbh, continue on with your narrative, but don't start complaining if you raise a generation of women that act like deers on ice when they leave the house.'