Feel bit ... put out ..

qwerty13

2012paddy2012 wrote: »

You obviously read the post’s throughout, and thanks , I would tend to be in agreement with you , however she didn’t have to invite us up and she did. I think that was nice ... thanks ... all well , now.

Hhmm now, I don’t think it’s a case of others not reading your posts thoroughly. They - and I - just don’t agree with you.

Look there’ll always be people who parent differently. I happen to agree with your sister, and it is her house. And you weren’t in the original invite, and you invited your son along - so the onus is on you to fit in. In my book anyway. Just because people disagree with you does not mean that they haven’t fully read or understood your posts though.

2012paddy2012

qwerty13 wrote: »

Hhmm now, I don’t think it’s a case of others not reading your posts thoroughly. They - and I - just don’t agree with you.

Look there’ll always be people who parent differently. I happen to agree with your sister, and it is her house. And you weren’t in the original invite, and you invited your son along - so the onus is on you to fit in. In my book anyway. Just because people disagree with you does not mean that they haven’t fully read or understood your posts though.

I don’t know where that’s coming from I was simply complimenting the writer as indeed all have contributors , have read all the posts and commented intelligently...

I am finished now with post and appreciate all replies .... as a btw whether my son can cook or not is not an issue. He cooks all the time!!
Just doesn’t like the meat cooked as indeed I am not a big fan but will nibble at it !!!

Nothing more to it than that .thanks all

qwerty13

The point on cooking was just a suggestion, because in my experience some kids seem to think that they can express a very strong preference, with no account taken of the effort that it takes to put a meal on plates for a family. Let alone 2 different meals.

In my experience, having kids involved in cooking / recipe choices generally leads to less ‘oh I don’t want that’ and more appreciation of the effort involved, and less unreasonable expectations of not wanting to eat what everyone else is having. And honestly, it’s a ‘growing up’ lesson too.

Cooking together can also be quite bonding, which is another reason why I suggested it.

Princess Calla

qwerty13 wrote: »

Hhmm now, I don’t think it’s a case of others not reading your posts thoroughly. They - and I - just don’t agree with you.

Look there’ll always be people who parent differently. I happen to agree with your sister, and it is her house. And you weren’t in the original invite, and you invited your son along - so the onus is on you to fit in. In my book anyway. Just because people disagree with you does not mean that they haven’t fully read or understood your posts though.

Infairness the son is a teenager, the parents are divorced, so the dad probably only sees the son at weekends. The invite should automatically include the son.

While it's true the op was invited into existing plans, it's not like he just turned up at her house at 4 and was then invited to dinner at 6 as he was in the house anyway.

The sister has over 24 hrs notice that what she's serving doesn't suit everyone. I really don't see why you wouldn't say well everyone will eat x so I'll serve that instead. Then there's no cooking different dishes.

qwerty13

I do my shopping once a week, and mostly my meal plans involve whatever special offers are on, or a meal than I can incorporate into batch cooking. I also work anti-social hours every 3 weeks. So for me, having to change what I was planning to serve would be a financial and possible time hassle

anewme

Princess Calla wrote: »

The sister has over 24 hrs notice that what she's serving doesn't suit everyone. I really don't see why you wouldn't say well everyone will eat x so I'll serve that instead. Then there's no cooking different dishes.

So, the menu should be changed to what the son wants, in the hope everyone else will eat that?

I'd say the food is already purchased and preparation started with 24 hours notice.

I had the same issue (with an adult) who just "didn't really like" what I was making. I didn't change the menu and was really annoyed by it. So I can see why the sister didn't entertain it.

Princess Calla

anewme wrote: »

So, the menu should be changed to what the son wants, in the hope everyone else will eat that?

I'd say the food is already purchased and preparation started with 24 hours notice.

I had the same issue (with an adult) who just "didn't really like" what I was making. I didn't change the menu and was really annoyed by it. So I can see why the sister didn't entertain it.

I think the issue was the meat.

Personally I'd have no problem swapping a roast chicken with roast pork etc. I'd throw the other one in the freezer to use for another nights dinner.

If your budget is tight in both time and money I don't understand why you would invite extra people last minute.

qwerty13

Princess Calla wrote: »

If your budget is tight in both time and money I don't understand why you would invite extra people last minute.

The sister didn’t invite the son last minute! The OP asked if he could bring his son, and unless the OP’s sis has a lot more money and time than me, that could have put her in a tight position. The OP himself was asked to ‘drop in’ - which I would honestly have assumed meant post dinner, for tea / coffee / drinks. So instead of a ‘drop in’, she then had 2 extras for dinner, and moaning about the menu!

Princess Calla

qwerty13 wrote: »

The sister didn’t invite the son last minute! The OP asked if he could bring his son, and unless the OP’s sis has a lot more money and time than me, that could have put her in a tight position. The OP himself was asked to ‘drop in’ - which I would honestly have assumed meant post dinner, for tea / coffee / drinks. So instead of a ‘drop in’, she then had 2 extras for dinner, and moaning about the menu!

So he was supposed to leave his son at home, while he trotted off to dinner with his sister, her family and the child's grandparents?

KiKi III

The situation is resolved and is now becoming a general discussion. Would suggest it’s time to lock.

qwerty13

Princess Calla wrote: »

So he was supposed to leave his son at home, while he trotted off to dinner with his sister, her family and the child's grandparents?

No, but he should have recognised that he wasn’t in the original invite, he was asked to ‘drop in’ (which I would not take to mean dinner), he then assumed he was invited for dinner, he invited his son, and then said that his son didn’t like the food. That’s very presumptuous in my book.

qwerty13

Princess Calla wrote: »

I think the issue was the meat.

Personally I'd have no problem swapping a roast chicken with roast pork etc. I'd throw the other one in the freezer to use for another nights dinner.

If your budget is tight in both time and money I don't understand why you would invite extra people last minute.

And meat is the most expensive aspect of a dinner, especially for someone who doesn’t have much money. Look, I don’t mean to argue. Or get into a general discussion. But it feels like the you and the OP are railing against his sister because she won’t buy more/different food, and cook two meals. I’m just trying to say that this isn’t always easy for people because of money or time - and he wasn’t even invited for dinner in the first place.

Princess Calla

qwerty13 wrote: »

And meat is the most expensive aspect of a dinner, especially for someone who doesn’t have much money. Look, I don’t mean to argue. Or get into a general discussion. But it feels like the you and the OP are railing against his sister because she won’t buy more/different food, and cook two meals. I’m just trying to say that this isn’t always easy for people because of money or time - and he wasn’t even invited for dinner in the first place.

No I'm not railing against the sister.

I was totally with her on the not making a separate dinner until she said, you can buy something on the way home. That comment seemed unnecessary and slightly b1tchy.

With that comment, it made me think that she was entertaining her parents and maybe one of the parents asked if "John" was going to be there, and was "told" to invite her brother hence the last minute invite, and why she's being a bit snippy. I don't know. That is what popped into my head.

I fully appreciate people may not have extra resources, which is why I don't see an issue in flagging that someone won't eat some of the limited resources.

qwerty13

It’s an awkward situation Calla, and I guess either - or both - parties could come out of this feeling offended or hurt.

My thoughts however are that the OP wasn’t part of the original invite, and got asked to ‘drop in’. That doesn't mean ‘come for dinner’ to me. So then he took that as a dinner invite, and took it on himself to invite his son for dinner, and then complained about the menu. I’d be bulling tbh. At the presumption, the money, and the time re 2 meals because the OP’s 2 times presumptions means he thinks it’s ok to ask his sister to plan / buy / spend / cook more, because he decided to invite his son along, to a ‘drop in’ invite. And as his son is a teenager, he should be learning that he can’t always get what he wants.

There’s no 100% right or wrong in this, and I hope they all work it out happily.

Princess Calla

2012paddy2012

Princess Calla wrote: »

Wow this thing has taken off lol 😂!!!!

Anyhow ... just to clarify , this is gas !!! I was invited for DINNER, not to just drop up.

It’s PORK !!!!

I never intended any menu change.
I just thought instead of giving son Pork , if she just threw in a few chicken nuggets in the tray while pork was cooking .......

Anyway , I just mentioned to him now it’s pork I know you don’t like it ... just eat spuds n veg ...

He tells me ... is Pork not sausages? I said yap ...
Sure I like them !!!!!!

So it’s a bit of a pig in the poke ... all for naught!

Appreciate the discussion , thanks P


( dinner on at 5 lol)

2012paddy2012

Princess Calla wrote: »

No I'm not railing against the sister.

I was totally with her on the not making a separate dinner until she said, you can buy something on the way home. That comment seemed unnecessary and slightly b1tchy.

With that comment, it made me think that she was entertaining her parents and maybe one of the parents asked if "John" was going to be there, and was "told" to invite her brother hence the last minute invite, and why she's being a bit snippy. I don't know. That is what popped into my head.

I fully appreciate people may not have extra resources, which is why I don't see an issue in flagging that someone won't eat some of the limited resources.

Kinda see your point ok thks

2012paddy2012

qwerty13 wrote: »

It’s an awkward situation Calla, and I guess either - or both - parties could come out of this feeling offended or hurt.

My thoughts however are that the OP wasn’t part of the original invite, and got asked to ‘drop in’. That doesn't mean ‘come for dinner’ to me. So then he took that as a dinner invite, and took it on himself to invite his son for dinner, and then complained about the menu. I’d be bulling tbh. At the presumption, the money, and the time re 2 meals because the OP’s 2 times presumptions means he thinks it’s ok to ask his sister to plan / buy / spend / cook more, because he decided to invite his son along, to a ‘drop in’ invite. And as his son is a teenager, he should be learning that he can’t always get what he wants.

There’s no 100% right or wrong in this, and I hope they all work it out happily.

Complety incorrect. I certainly think nothing of the sort. Being presumptuous not a very flattering attribute , in my book.
My teenager had not hand act or part in this.
Thanks.

Princess Calla

2012paddy2012 wrote: »

Wow this thing has taken off lol 😂!!!!

Anyhow ... just to clarify , this is gas !!! I was invited for DINNER, not to just drop up.

It’s PORK !!!!

I never intended any menu change.
I just thought instead of giving son Pork , if she just threw in a few chicken nuggets in the tray while pork was cooking .......

Anyway , I just mentioned to him now it’s pork I know you don’t like it ... just eat spuds n veg ...

He tells me ... is Pork not sausages? I said yap ...
Sure I like them !!!!!!

So it’s a bit of a pig in the poke ... all for naught!

Appreciate the discussion , thanks P


( dinner on at 5 lol)

Enjoy, and sure if conversation dries up you can always show them this thread or maybe not

Best of luck in the new job tmw.

2012paddy2012

Princess Calla wrote: »

Enjoy, and sure if conversation dries up you can always show them this thread or maybe not

Best of luck in the new job tmw.

So nice , thank you

qwerty13

2012paddy2012 wrote: »

Wow this thing has taken off lol 😂!!!!

Anyhow ... just to clarify , this is gas !!! I was invited for DINNER, not to just drop up.

It’s PORK !!!!

I never intended any menu change.
I just thought instead of giving son Pork , if she just threw in a few chicken nuggets in the tray while pork was cooking .......

Anyway , I just mentioned to him now it’s pork I know you don’t like it ... just eat spuds n veg ...

He tells me ... is Pork not sausages? I said yap ...
Sure I like them !!!!!!

So it’s a bit of a pig in the poke ... all for naught!

Appreciate the discussion , thanks P


( dinner on at 5 lol)

OP, you literally said “to drop up”. Not dinner.

”My sister has our folks over to her house .. I’m divorced and live nearby , with a teenage son. She is having dinner with them , she texted me to see if I wanted to drop up“ (that’s from your first post)


Changing from pork to another meat is a menu change. How can you not understand that?

Not everyone has a ready stock of alternatives for fussy teenagers. If you knew he was this fussy, why did you invite him along to your sister’s house, putting her in a position where she couldn’t say no?

I’m out. Good luck.

2012paddy2012

qwerty13 wrote: »

OP, you literally said “to drop up”. Not dinner.

”My sister has our folks over to her house .. I’m divorced and live nearby , with a teenage son. She is having dinner with them , she texted me to see if I wanted to drop up“ (that’s from your first post)


Changing from pork to another meat is a menu change. How can you not understand that?

Hence the clarification!!!!!!
Put the chicken nuggets on tray with pork ... ahhh what’s the confusion!!!

qwerty13

My advice would be to actually listen when people are inviting you somewhere / being nice to you, and consider the effect on them. Stop feeling aggrieved if you aren’t getting exactly what you want, or want for your teenager. And lose the sense of entitlement.

I’m gone. Hope dinner and the future works out.

august12

I'm looking forward to hearing how the dinner went after reading through 5 pages of posts. The most enjoyable post being from the OP re the son's comment about pork and sausages, so funny.

2012paddy2012

qwerty13 wrote: »

My advice would be to actually listen when people are inviting you somewhere / being nice to you, and consider the effect on them. Stop feeling aggrieved if you aren’t getting exactly what you want, or want for your teenager. And lose the sense of entitlement.

I’m gone. Hope dinner and the future works out.

Lol. It’s so funny how my thought of throwing in a few chicken nuggets from the freezer in with the pork has generated such interesting opinions!!

I never feel aggrieved or have sense of entitlement quite the opposite in fact , indeed.

Thanks

2012paddy2012

Princess Calla wrote: »

Infairness the son is a teenager, the parents are divorced, so the dad probably only sees the son at weekends. The invite should automatically include the son.

While it's true the op was invited into existing plans, it's not like he just turned up at her house at 4 and was then invited to dinner at 6 as he was in the house anyway.

The sister has over 24 hrs notice that what she's serving doesn't suit everyone. I really don't see why you wouldn't say well everyone will eat x so I'll serve that instead. Then there's no cooking different dishes.

UPDATE UPDATE : highly recommend Pork , fabulous meal .... great time had by all !!!!
No issue with sister ....this post has really amused and cheered me up , thanks everyone so much !!!
P

qwerty13

So you created drama over nothing, and wasted everyone’s time. Fantastic.

amdublin

Holy god qwerty that is unfair and unhelpful.

The op asked for advice. In the end all worked out ok - good!

JustAThought

I once threw someone out who was invited to dinner and then unknown to me ordered and had a pizza delivered as I was cooking the meal - she was intending on sitting and noshing from her box at the table while we all hand 3 course fancy dinner and wine. Maybe your sister had a fancy meal planned and didnt want to have it wrecked by having to time a second meal at the same time and be jumping up and down checking an oven and second meal when she should be relaxing and eating with her guests. Maybe also she didnt want someone noshing fast food and ketchup at the same time as her carefully planned and prepared fancy meal. Glad you all had a nice evening - happy new job and retirement.

qwerty13

amdublin wrote: »

Holy god qwerty that is unfair and unhelpful.

The op asked for advice. In the end all worked out ok - good!

I actually don’t think it’s unfair or unhelpful at all. The OP created entirely unnecessary drama with his sister and on this thread, was dismissive of anyone who disagreed with them (practically to the point of rudeness). And changed his story towards the end of the thread.

I think it would be good if he remembered not to overreact the next time he doesn’t get his way.