Think I need to start all over again

afterglow

Hi all

Hoping for some advice

I have recently moved home from the UK to Ireland, currently with my parents, I’m disabled and application now entered to live in an assisted living setting, that’s all good, things very much on the up and up, even benefits getting sorted, so nothing to complain about really. When I enter the accommodation I’ll be able also, to proceed with guide dog application which will mean my independence back, again, that’s amazing
My problem is, that since I’ve come back, I’ve been dealing with some health issues, and the friends I had, here, before I left, and to some extent, while I was away, now I’m back, seem to have disappeared
I’m not necessarily saying it’s all on them, but i do text and try keep in touch, but never really much of anything back

I just don’t really feel, part of the gang anymore, no real, connection if that makes sense
One of my biggest issues is a friend, who, has always, for the want of a better turn of phrase, ‘ tried his luck ‘ over the years, with me and now I’m just sick of it
I came out as gay roughly a year ago now, he knows, and just the other week, when i said i wasn’t comfortable sharing a bed with him, top and tale but nonetheless, he basically called us meeting up off
I had previously said maybe i would be ok with it, but then thought better of it, it just creeped me out, and he made it sound like in the beginning, when he told me, he would let me have the bed to sleep in and he would take the couch, but the whole idea of being in that very awkward situation just didn’t appeal, and when i said i wasn’t comfortable he just called the whole thing off
I find that offensive tbh, like he’s just giving the fact that I’ve come out the 2 fingers, I’ve never, and i mean never lead him on in any way shape or form whatsoever
I’m still not sure how I’ll handle that tbh, but my real question is, how do you even attempt to build new connections, and make new friends, in your 30’s?
I don’t have any vision so that limits, unfortunately, my ability to just, ‘ get up and go ‘ if you will, but i really feel like this is something i need to do
I feel like I don’t really have anyone that I’m close to, i do in the UK, but not ireland, and since that’s where i am for the foreseeable future, i figure that’s something i have to try sort out
Suggestions appreciated

TLDR: how does one make new friends later on in life taking into account a disability which means limited mobility?

hawley

afterglow wrote: »

Hi all

Hoping for some advice

I have recently moved home from the UK to Ireland, currently with my parents, I’m disabled and application now entered to live in an assisted living setting, that’s all good, things very much on the up and up, even benefits getting sorted, so nothing to complain about really. When I enter the accommodation I’ll be able also, to proceed with guide dog application which will mean my independence back, again, that’s amazing
My problem is, that since I’ve come back, I’ve been dealing with some health issues, and the friends I had, here, before I left, and to some extent, while I was away, now I’m back, seem to have disappeared
I’m not necessarily saying it’s all on them, but i do text and try keep in touch, but never really much of anything back

I just don’t really feel, part of the gang anymore, no real, connection if that makes sense
One of my biggest issues is a friend, who, has always, for the want of a better turn of phrase, ‘ tried his luck ‘ over the years, with me and now I’m just sick of it
I came out as gay roughly a year ago now, he knows, and just the other week, when i said i wasn’t comfortable sharing a bed with him, top and tale but nonetheless, he basically called us meeting up off
I had previously said maybe i would be ok with it, but then thought better of it, it just creeped me out, and he made it sound like in the beginning, when he told me, he would let me have the bed to sleep in and he would take the couch, but the whole idea of being in that very awkward situation just didn’t appeal, and when i said i wasn’t comfortable he just called the whole thing off
I find that offensive tbh, like he’s just giving the fact that I’ve come out the 2 fingers, I’ve never, and i mean never lead him on in any way shape or form whatsoever
I’m still not sure how I’ll handle that tbh, but my real question is, how do you even attempt to build new connections, and make new friends, in your 30’s?
I don’t have any vision so that limits, unfortunately, my ability to just, ‘ get up and go ‘ if you will, but i really feel like this is something i need to do
I feel like I don’t really have anyone that I’m close to, i do in the UK, but not ireland, and since that’s where i am for the foreseeable future, i figure that’s something i have to try sort out
Suggestions appreciated

TLDR: how does one make new friends later on in life taking into account a disability which means limited mobility?

First of all don't just give up on your old friends. Even if you do make new friends, sometimes the friendship can just fizzle out. I don't see the big deal about sleeping in the same bed, especially if it's top and tail. I think you could try to explain how you felt to him, he's obviously quite hurt over it.

HildaOgdenx

I would let that 'friendship' go, but don't give up on others.
It does get harder I know to keep in touch, as people's lives change, for one reason or another, but it's worth a try.

Sometimes it is better to try to get something definite into people's diaries, for example, text to say can we meet for coffee/ lunch (if that is a possibility for you) and give a few dates, with plenty of notice.

Perhaps when you move to the new accommodation, other opportunities will come up.

I wish you all the best.