Mental health and CoVid-19

leahyl

c_clearwater wrote: »

I've been following boards and particularly this thread for a while now and have found the tips here helpful during the last year. It's also been helpful to see that others are having a similar experience of this lockdown, it's always good to see you're not alone. I've never felt the need to engage though until I saw 'Gone Home's recent posts and want to respond. The point of view echoes what I've heard from some people trying to be helpful and encouraging but missing the mark entirely and doing more harm than good. 'Gone Home' I'm sure you mean well but a lot of people out there would give a LOT for all you have. It's clear from your posts that you have a house in a nice location in the country, a spouse and a job and probably family and friends as you assume everyone else has family and friends around too. My goal is to be in a position where I have all those things and if you read previous posts on this thread the problem for a lot of people is that they don't have those things and are not where they want to be in life which makes the restrictions much harder. I haven't worked in a year, live alone, don't have any family, haven't been fortunate enough to meet someone special yet, though am always hopeful, and don't have friends living nearby. I don't want sympathy, I'm just stating the facts as I know a lot of people, including friends, in the same boat. I was involved in a lot of activities before the pandemic and that fulfilled the need for sociability. Those activities are gone now, like others here music, gigs, choirs, theatre etc were a big part of my life and that's left a big void. I've kept as busy as possible for the last year, always looking for a new job, doing online courses, upskilling, trying to keep to a routine, doing the online workouts etc etc but it's a hard slog. Like others here I'd love to meet someone and feel like I missed the deadline before covid as it's very difficult to meet anyone now. There are plenty like me who look at friends who are still working and have families and think that despite the difficulties it must be easier when you have work/purpose and have some support and company at home. Isolation is very hard on your mental health and it makes it hard to keep on top of things. I send very best wishes to everyone in this thread, particularly those who are struggling and trust that we'll all be stronger for making it through this. And for those who are struggling to empathise or understand why this is hard/boring/lonely, I hope that this may be helpful.

Excellent post, agree 100%. In my mind it would/should be way easier for someone who has a husband/wife/partner and maybe kids than it is for someone who is still hoping to meet someone. From the point of view that the person in a happy longterm relationship doesn't have to worry about their life passing by, to an extent, cos they'll still, hopefully, have their familly after all this is over.

Being able to have compassion for others circumstances and experiences is important to me. I know not everyone has the capacity, for one reason or another.

One possible reason is that it can be painful to be faced with the vulnerability of another, to say "hey what you're going through sounds really rough". That acknowledgement can bring us face to face with our own hurts.

Covid is a fùcker. I have a good life but it doesn't stop me from being overwhelmed with it all. The usual checkpoints were in place today and it really angered me because we can travel our county freely now. And every time I hear "hold firm" I'm like would you ever feck off with yourself.

leahyl

leahyl wrote: »

Excellent post, agree 100%. In my mind it would/should be way easier for someone who has a husband/wife/partner and maybe kids than it is for someone who is still hoping to meet someone. From the point of view that the person in a happy longterm relationship doesn't have to worry about their life passing by, to an extent, cos they'll still, hopefully, have their familly after all this is over.

I don't know if it's easier. There can be other concerns and anxieties.

nigeldaniel

I always tend to go with the compassion and care idea myself. 'It's good to talk' works fine as long as a person knows someone who they can talk to. Not everyone is equipped to help us when it come to serious talking. I found this myself over the years.
I am doing much better these last few weeks myself. Looking forward to the summer and a few strolls in the woods.
Keep well, everyone.

YellowLead

I have to say I’m starting to feel much better now we can officially leave the 5k! Lots of places to walk now (got a car last month) and with all of the positivity surrounding restrictions easing in May and June in very happy. Met a friend for a long walk last night for example - face to face is the best.

But I don’t think I could cope at all if we plunged into level 5 stay inside 5k again....

DessieJames

YellowLead wrote: »

I have to say I’m starting to feel much better now we can officially leave the 5k! Lots of places to walk now (got a car last month) and with all of the positivity surrounding restrictions easing in May and June in very happy. Met a friend for a long walk last night for example - face to face is the best.

But I don’t think I could cope at all if we plunged into level 5 stay inside 5k again....

ive never once stuck to this ourtageous 5k and i dont know anyone who has, ive completely given up listening to anything these parasites are saying last year and im just living my life as best i can, that means travelling wherever, meeting people,etc im completely ignoring the lies and scaremongering, and feel all the better for it

Graces7

YellowLead wrote: »

I have to say I’m starting to feel much better now we can officially leave the 5k! Lots of places to walk now (got a car last month) and with all of the positivity surrounding restrictions easing in May and June in very happy. Met a friend for a long walk last night for example - face to face is the best.

But I don’t think I could cope at all if we plunged into level 5 stay inside 5k again....

Heartfelt thanks for your steadfastness and support. and enjoy the lovely weather; you deserve it! All of you who are steadfast in the rules etc.

freshpopcorn

Just try and avoid listening to the news to much. Certain ones in RTÉ are loving this in my opinion.
Similar with Social Media and on here.
Certain people are terrified and make a huge ordeal out of everything. They are just being themselves and can’t help it but just try and ignore them.

Graces7

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Just try and avoid listening to the news to much. Certain ones in RTÉ are loving this in my opinion.
Similar with Social Media and on here.
Certain people are terrified and make a huge ordeal out of everything. They are just being themselves and can’t help it but just try and ignore them.

I have no TV or radio by choice. I check here online a couple or three times a day is all. Far healthier.

Learned that after 9/11. I was on a lot of US chat groups and was actually "talking" to a journalist friend there when it happened. Utter chaos and terror and as I was in Orkney and in a quiet place a lot of folk sought me out. PTSD was setting in. They were watching it on TV over and over again.

I never saw it then or since. After 72 hours I was in my bathroom when the weekly plane came in and I ducked... Turned everything off and went to bed.

And ditched TV then. Never regretted it.

Oh and never use social media either; boards only and i close early.

Be kind to all and to you.

Patsy167

Very insightful article posted by the NY Times that many may identify with and some helpful tips included at the end of the article that others may find useful - Full article here - https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.

Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.

Graces7

Patsy167 wrote: »

Very insightful article posted by the NY Times that many may identify with and some helpful tips included at the end of the article that others may find useful - Full article here - https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.

Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.

All of which is a perfectly normal and mentally and physically healthy reaction and response to the terrible situation we are all in. It really is. Like we expect to grieve when someone we love dies.

Anything else would be far more worrying; as is the aggression many are expressing

We can and must live with it and through it; there re no short cuts. Not in evading by ignoring the severity and seriousness in aggression.

Disagree with the last line; seeing so many small signs of hope and recovery in so many places here.

Pandiculation

Is anyone else finding their physical health has been bad since lockdown began?

I think it’s just lack of activity, but I’m finding I’ve a very bad back, knees are sore, generally just feel very rundown and have absolutely no energy. I’m eating ok and it’s not lack of nutrients or something. I’ve had this before - prone to the odd unexplained back issues but this is just really just not great.

I think just not having anywhere to go just destroyed me over the last few months. Even just the ability to go get a coffee and read a book was a huge deal to me. If I go somewhere there’s nowhere to sit and it’s just totally pointless.

I’m having very poor sleep and weird dreams about being in hospital, getting bad news from doctors, being told I’m dying and stuff like that or nightmares about stuff I’ve experienced like when my mother died or visiting a person I know who was extremely ill in a hospice. I’m even having nightmares about previous surgeries I had where I just have these flashbacks - just things like being hooked up to oxygen, being unable to move and so on.

I also just feel totally trapped. It’s hard to explain but the total inability to travel is just really playing with my head. It’s not that I’m going to rush off on holiday but it’s just there always been an ability to maybe go somewhere for a weekend once in a blue moon. I didn’t realise how much that meant to me. It’s even just knowing it’s not possible that’s making me feel very odd.

Anyway, this feels just like a bit of a rant but I’m not really sure how else to structure it. I’m not really looking for solutions, it’s just a vent.

acequion

Patsy167 wrote: »

Very insightful article posted by the NY Times that many may identify with and some helpful tips included at the end of the article that others may find useful - Full article here - https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.

Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.

A really excellent article, thanks so much for sharing!

I certainly recognise those symptoms. I think so many of us are just languishing, stagnating, I know I am. I don't know exactly at what point in all this I started to feel exactly as is described in the article but it's spot on. I just so fervently hope we all get our lives back soon so that we can emerge from this never ending fog and get joy and purpose back into our lives again.

But for that sense of purpose to come back we need variety and stimulation and the freedom to go out and find that stimulation. I will personally never take freedom for granted ever again.

Valhallapt

Patsy167 wrote: »

Very insightful article posted by the NY Times that many may identify with and some helpful tips included at the end of the article that others may find useful - Full article here - https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.

Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.

One of the best explainers I've read. Shared it with my friends. I also shared it with a few people who are perhaps past languishing, but I think if they can identify with it, they move closer to it, it's been a tough year for so many people.

Share this article with everyone.

Irish Stones

acequion wrote: »

I certainly recognise those symptoms. I think so many of us are just languishing, stagnating, I know I am.

I read the article and I recognised I am one of those described in it. I didn't know it has a name, but what I am experiencing is a total lack of motivation, interest and energy for anything that is around me. Not even those things that gave my life importance are interesting to me right now.
For instance, in the last year I shopped a lot on Amazon and other online shops, I bought stuff for thousands euro, trying to wake up some interest and drive in me on things that once I loved to do.
Well, several packages lie there, unopened, since May 2020. Simply I don't think I am interested about what's in them.

I just so fervently hope we all get our lives back soon so that we can emerge from this never ending fog and get joy and purpose back into our lives again.

And how do we know that we will emerge from this fog and find joy again? Some kinds of depression are permament, or they even appear again after a long time when we thought we had won.
Things won't get back to what we used to know, and likewise we could not get back to what we were.

Tell me how

Irish Stones wrote: »

I read the article and I recognised I am one of those described in it. I didn't know it has a name, but what I am experiencing is a total lack of motivation, interest and energy for anything that is around me. Not even those things that gave my life importance are interesting to me right now.
For instance, in the last year I shopped a lot on Amazon and other online shops, I bought stuff for thousands euro, trying to wake up some interest and drive in me on things that once I loved to do.
Well, several packages lie there, unopened, since May 2020. Simply I don't think I am interested about what's in them.



And how do we know that we will emerge from this fog and find joy again? Some kinds of depression are permament, or they even appear again after a long time when we thought we had won.
Things won't get back to what we used to know, and likewise we could not get back to what we were.

If this frame of mind has been going on for nearly 12 months for you now, you should definitely be seeking professional help for dealing with classic symptoms of depression.

Waiting until Covid is over and then seeing how you feel could delay any progress for 6-12 months. Also, the longer this becomes your norm, then the more difficult it can be to overcome it.

I can say with certainty however, having been in a very dark place with depression, that when things do get better, you see and can take joy from things in a much more appreciative way than you thought possible. I know you might not believe that statement, but that was my experience and I still get reminded of this.

Graces7

Tell me how wrote: »

If this frame of mind has been going on for nearly 12 months for you now, you should definitely be seeking professional help for dealing with classic symptoms of depression.

Waiting until Covid is over and then seeing how you feel could delay any progress for 6-12 months. Also, the longer this becomes your norm, then the more difficult it can be to overcome it.

I can say with certainty however, having been in a very dark place with depression, that when things do get better, you see and can take joy from things in a much more appreciative way than you thought possible. I know you might not believe that statement, but that was my experience and I still get reminded of this.

Echoing this and not only where actual depression is involved. I have been through some dark places in my life with illness and life events etc. and now the smallest things bring joy.

Like a single candle in a dark place. That means that darkness is defeated. I will never be well. but I can be joyful. And am daily at the smallest things. A butterfly today and a rosebud opening.

Irish Stones

Tell me how wrote: »

If this frame of mind has been going on for nearly 12 months for you now, you should definitely be seeking professional help for dealing with classic symptoms of depression

I do appreciate your words and interest.
Here it comes another problem. I don't trust any doctor or professional the least. So I would never walk into someone's practice and tell them what I'm feeling.
Even because I wouldn't be able to describe my symptoms to myself, I'm not able to find the words to define my condition.

I can say with certainty however, having been in a very dark place with depression, that when things do get better, you see and can take joy from things in a much more appreciative way than you thought possible. I know you might not believe that statement, but that was my experience and I still get reminded of this.

Judging by how I'm feeling now, I don't even think I would like to take joy from things. I was rather happy before this, and I would like to have that happiness, not a new one.
I think I am getting used to this dark and gloomy feeling, and I sort of like it. Though I know this is not healthy.

Lisha

I’m finding it so hard again lately. Am terrified me or kids have it and are unwittingly spreading it. We don’t have symptoms. I know it’s illogical. I’m tempted to get us tested privately again just for peace of mind. But I know it’s a waste of time resources and money. Any my husband will tell me I’m dolally.
I feicing hate it. In a way was easier when they not in school . And I know that’s bonkers too.

Roll in the vaccine

Pandiculation

I think we’re all feeling a bit of that.

What’s getting to me is you can’t just relax. The days of being able to get on a packed tram and not feel anything odd about it, or read a book in a cafe, shake hands, stand near people all of those simple things, I’m finding I’m thinking about. That’s adding huge stress.

It’s just like I no longer enjoy being out and about in the way that I used to and until this thing’s under wraps and sorted, it looks like that’s going to be the case for years.

I just miss not having to constantly think about what I’m doing with masks and what I’ve touched and all of that. It’s really exhausting.

I met up with a friend of mine a week or so ago in a park and we kept our social distance at either end of a bench and tbh it just felt wrong. It’s horrible not to be able to feel comfortable around him. It’s nothing sexual or strange but I’m realising I like the proximity, the body language, the handshakes, the bearhugs. So much of our communication is actually physical and we don’t know it until we stop doing it.

A guy I barely know who works in a cafe just came flying out all happy to see me and wanting to do the elbow handshake thing and it was like, that moment where you’re going - “agh! human wants to get too close” and then just “feck it! - we’re both wearing masks.”

It’s just really odd and I’m missing normality so much more than I thought.

I’m even just missing standing in a packed bar. I really like being in the middle of a crowd. There’s a connectedness and it’s not just a superficial thing. I’m really feeling cut off in a way that I’m not even able to describe.

Also dancing. I don’t do it that often but I miss it and I miss the possibility of it. There’s just something indescribable about that sense of just being in the middle of a group of people and it’s just primal communication.

Zoom and distance is just so abstract.

It’s just making me feel profoundly cut off.

Irish Stones

Pandiculation wrote: »

and wanting to do the elbow handshake thing and it was like

I just hate this new way of "handshaking", the elbow or fist thing, just drives me mad. What does that mean?
I'd rather skip it completely, I just say "glad to meet/see you" and that's it.

Pandiculation

Depends on the circumstances, the person and the cultural setting too.

Big deal to some people, less so to others. Some people are more kinaesthetic in their communication style and some are more visual and verbal, most are a combination.

On the hand shaking thing, people from much of continental Western Europe and Mediterranean countries tend to really place a lot of importance on some of those gestures. It’s something that can be a huge deal for some ppl as they’ll feel cold / snubbed etc otherwise, so COVID-19 has been a rather big change.

What’s getting to me is the need to eschew human contact and having to see everyone as a potential source of infection. That’s something that I genuinely find exhausting.

Irish Stones

Pandiculation wrote: »

What’s getting to me is the need to eschew human contact and having to see everyone as a potential source of infection. That’s something that I genuinely find exhausting.

This is the opposite for me. I don't see everyone as a potential plague carrier, but I agree that this fear of the others is something that will last for a long, very long time.
They poured this fear on us.
I envy those who lived through the past pandemics, when no fear was spread among the population, and they grow and lived normally, to the point they have nearly no memories of those times.
We will remember the fear and the restrictions more than the pandemic itself.

xhomelezz

Irish Stones wrote: »

This is the opposite for me. I don't see everyone as a potential plague carrier, but I agree that this fear of the others is something that will last for a long, very long time.
They poured this fear on us.
I envy those who lived through the past pandemics, when no fear was spread among the population, and they grow and lived normally, to the point they have nearly no memories of those times.
We will remember the fear and the restrictions more than the pandemic itself.

Apart from other things you keep posting on mask thread, which I found a bit weird. This one stands out, who are they??

Pandiculation

Pandiculation wrote: »

Depends on the circumstances, the person and the cultural setting too.

Big deal to some people, less so to others. Some people are more kinaesthetic in their communication style and some are more visual and verbal, most are a combination.

On the hand shaking thing, people from much of continental Western Europe and Mediterranean countries tend to really place a lot of importance on some of those gestures. It’s something that can be a huge deal for some ppl as they’ll feel cold / snubbed etc otherwise, so COVID-19 has been a rather big change.

What’s getting to me is the need to eschew human contact and having to see everyone as a potential source of infection. That’s something that I genuinely find exhausting.

Me too. I was chatting to someone I had met once a few years ago, you know the type "oh it's blaa blaa isn't it, how are you". Afterwards I worried if we exposed each other to Covid. I reassured myself that it was outside and all will be fine.

One of the girls I'm friendly with in work got engaged. We had a hug. Now we know each other well but still. All of this runs alongside an opposite narrative in my head and that's "covid doesn't frighten me". Sometimes I can't figure it out. I think maybe that's the wishful view but the reality is different.

Id be ok because I'm half vaccinated, my dad is fully vaccinated, but other people I care about aren't. We are all in varying states of unease.

eleventh

Irish Stones wrote: »

This is the opposite for me. I don't see everyone as a potential plague carrier, ..

+1, I can't imagine seeing people that way.
I've seen fear in people's eyes though. A kind of terror. Not so much lately actually, but in the winter. Sad to see.

Irish Stones

xhomelezz wrote: »

Apart from other things you keep posting on mask thread, which I found a bit weird. This one stands out, who are they??

"They" are those who are in charge for managing this emergency.

Irish Stones

eleventh wrote: »

+1, I can't imagine seeing people that way.
I've seen fear in people's eyes though. A kind of terror. Not so much lately actually, but in the winter. Sad to see.

Fear and terror in people's eyes is what I see everyday at work. I have a few co-worker that have stopped living because they fear everything.

The anger and hatred that's directed towards the Government is interesting and to be expected.
It's natural to look for someone to blame for our plight, for one person or more to become a vessel for our frustrations. In some cases its warranted because Lord knows they've been dreadful at times, the Government in their decisions and NPHET in their communication.

I felt really defeated last week and it was directly related to Tony Holohan's return. I did a bit of self reflection on this. For me It's s like he has come to symbolise all that is bad right now. Completely irrational of course. What helps me is reminding myself of his humanity. He is a person like you and I. He most likely lives and breathes Covid (not literally we hope).

Grief can be a powerful motivator. Some people will do anything other than face it so work becomes all consuming. It might be hard for him to see beyond our situation right now.
I think of we can try and understand then the anger could lessen.

That understanding also helps when getting worked up about some of the posts on this forum. Countless times I've had responses typed out only to delete them.

In saying all of that my fondness for Ireland isn't as it used to be. While the Government and NPHET no doubt have sound reasons for caution, if it continues I don't know how I'll stay here.

Patsy167

Many of us are relishing lockdown lifting and life returning to some sort of normality.

But for some the prospect of heading out into the world again after a year of isolation is daunting.

Post-lockdown anxiety is a new phenomenon affecting a growing number of people who are worried about different aspects of normal life from socialising, to returning to work or even picking up a faster pace of life again.

“I don’t know how I can switch back to my old life – not without a pretty hefty adjustment period, anyway"

“In a weird way, lockdown has become a kind of comfort zone”

“Am I the only one feeling overwhelmed by the idea of going ‘back to normal’?”

Six ways to manage post-lockdown anxiety

https://www.bupa.co.uk/newsroom/ourviews/manage-post-lockdown-anxiety

9 Post-lockdown Anxiety Signs – and How to Reintegrate

https://uk.sports.yahoo.com/news/9-post-lockdown-anxiety-signs-083900557.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAALUXUCZBWbXk_4Zogotc6v5p1oM_ycKR1wDpQP_vy9gNbgqYpDEB6EYAc3c4lmT33zE4ILTOdOiNfSLIj8aAOjPegL5rSL-r0_J9DUo6Eb0g5FrGyaTINGpv-B_kRT1WtDMIMz0zT-OZz0IMr1nrzd2POIvFzJLDKCPINdbZOsU6