The elders - a megathread

Dublinia16

I sent this to my dad few days ago in the hope that a bit of guilt might make him stay safe... seems to be working

Now...time to listen to your daughter...if you are thinking people are going overboard about the virus and continue to go out and about, please remember that about 50,000 people in Ireland have lost their jobs so far with the measures trying to protect those who are older, vulnerable. Do your bit and stay home, everyone has to consider themselves carriers of the virus, lots of people won't even show symptoms so you can only be sure you aren't infected by being tested and we can't all be tested at once. The nurses and doctors are putting their own safety on the line so do them the favour of treating the situation as serious/important as they do. Stay safe 😘

CIARAN_BOYLE

It's funny. My job hasn't finished or moved to work from home.

I work in a socially distanced office. As in we have plenty of space.

My parents rang or texted me multiple times today to find out why I haven't quit my job or forced my boss to make provision for work from home. Its dangerous to be out during the pandemic they say.

They are both older people with health concerns and immunocompromised.

At the end of the day I ask how was their day.

Well we got a bus to supervalu. Had a wee shop. Then got a bus home. Then a bus to lidl and aldi another bus to the other lidl and aldi. Then went to a cafe for lunch. Then walk to dunnes and tesco after that. Then a bus home.

I as kwhy.

The response we had to do groceries. This is after me buying €100 worth of groceries for them the day before. I throw back their own words about dangerous to be out. "sure its only the groceries".

Me working in an office with 20 people spread over two floors and keeping a 2 metre distance from each other all day is too dangerous when they go grocery shopping with 5 busses and 7 supermarkets and a cafe.

Beasty

Threads merged and title changed. Let's keep discussion of practicalities concerning the elderly to a single thread

Whiplashy

My mum went to get her hair done today. There is no getting through to her. The sooner the government announce cocooning the better as she has said she'll stay at home when she's instructed to do so.

Lord TSC

Whiplashy wrote: »

My mum went to get her hair done today. There is no getting through to her. The sooner the government announce cocooning the better as she has said she'll stay at home when she's instructed to do so.

Bet you she won’t.

I think this is something people really need to get their heads round. Until someone they actually know gets hospitalized, people will continue to ignore warnings. The issue with the cocooning idea seems to be that it continues to ask people to self isolate if they feel they need to.

A sizable group who should simply wont, because they aren’t willing to let it disrupt their lives. They’ll just keep finding another justification towards maintaining their lives as best they can.

Ave Sodalis

My granny has just knocked on my window and asked if I would take her into the town tomorrow. The doctor apparently told her that she could go in with gloves, early in the morning and stay away from people.



Unfortunately, I've been in and out of the town constant over the last few days, because I am running the errands for my grandparents and my aunt (who doesn't have a car at the moment) and they can't seem to get themselves together and organise it so I can just do one or two trips. People are not complying with social distancing. I was waiting for my own prescriptions outside the pharmacy, and the next person in line stood right up behind me. I'm probably the most at risk of being infected, despite my best efforts and not wanted to actually leave my house more than necessary. So if my granny wants to insist on this trip into the town, then I cannot be the one to take her. You'd swear I told her I hated her, from her expression. Why is she making this more difficult than it needs to be...

Little rossie

Since the schools closed and parents are at work during the day, is pressure being put on grandparents by their children to mind the grandchildren.

This must be happening. Because who is minding all the grandchildren?

James 007

Peregrinus wrote: »

Apart from the visits by your brothers, is she otherwise living alone?

How often to your brothers visit? Daily? Every morning and evening? When you say that they "give her her tablets", do they actually administer them to her?

If she has a degree of disability such that she requires her medication to be administered to her, who does other tasks - cooking, cleaning? Does she feed herself? Does she toilet herself?

If, on the other hand, she is able to do all these things for herself, why do your brothers need to call to give her her medication?

(JustAThought implies that your mother would be better off in hospital. Unless she needs inpatient treatment she should definitely not be in hospital - not only because others who do require inpatient treatment will need the bed more, but because being in hospital would present a risk to her that she should not run unless she can needs to.)

My mum can do a lot of things on her own like cooking, washing dishes, putting down the fire. My brothers take turns minding her (one has 4 kids, other has no kids) talk to her, have tea/coffee with her, smoke with her, watch tv with her. My mum needs to take tablets 4 times daily, generally between 2 & 3 tablets. She also has mild dementia, I would say. SHe was in a bad way last year put has come on great since.

What would you do in this situation:
*Have the brothers not come into the house at all
*Have them drop the pills 4 times daily & have a chat from the garden as she sits in the kitchen
*Eliminate the smoking/tv/coffees/chats in the house
etc.

lainey_d_123

CIARAN_BOYLE wrote: »

It's funny. My job hasn't finished or moved to work from home.

I work in a socially distanced office. As in we have plenty of space.

My parents rang or texted me multiple times today to find out why I haven't quit my job or forced my boss to make provision for work from home. Its dangerous to be out during the pandemic they say.

They are both older people with health concerns and immunocompromised.

At the end of the day I ask how was their day.

Well we got a bus to supervalu. Had a wee shop. Then got a bus home. Then a bus to lidl and aldi another bus to the other lidl and aldi. Then went to a cafe for lunch. Then walk to dunnes and tesco after that. Then a bus home.

I as kwhy.

The response we had to do groceries. This is after me buying €100 worth of groceries for them the day before. I throw back their own words about dangerous to be out. "sure its only the groceries".

Me working in an office with 20 people spread over two floors and keeping a 2 metre distance from each other all day is too dangerous when they go grocery shopping with 5 busses and 7 supermarkets and a cafe.

I'm in exactly the same situation with my family.

It's kind of exasperating, to be honest. My generation (millennials), already hard hit by the recession and already struggling, are staying in and being responsible. I know several people who have lost their jobs because of this, loads of people who are forced to self isolated cooped up in crappy flatshares, eating their dinner on their bed, absolutely no personal space and no ability to escape their tiny little rooms which are now like prisons. People who, especially here in the UK, have been battered by student loans, poor wages, high living costs, insecure employment, crazy rent costs and have now lost the little they had.

Meanwhile people our parents' age are going out to do the weekly shop, popping out for a look round the shops because they're bored, saying things like 'why should I stay in?'

We're told not to be selfish and many are suffering horrendous consequences as a result, and the people we're trying to protect can't even stay at home for a few weeks?

Who are the selfish ones?

theguzman

My father broke isolation today and went to private house wake of a neihbour who recently died of a heart attack. I am raging as I have been self isolating away from them to protect them and now he went and did this.

freshpopcorn

theguzman wrote: »

My father broke isolation today and went to private house wake of a neihbour who recently died of a heart attack. I am raging as I have been self isolating away from them to protect them and now he went and did this.

He probally went more places and your unaware of it. The elderly can be sneaky.

Junkyard Tom

freshpopcorn wrote: »

The elderly can be sneaky.

Hiding Werther's Originals and assorted boiled sweets around the house and whatnot

Darc19

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

Hiding Werther's Originals and assorted boiled sweets around the house and whatnot

Just came up with an idea.

Usually to keep our dogs occupied when we're out, we hide treats about the place.

Your post gave me an idea to do the same with my 87 years old mum - she loves her werthers and likes a glass of sherry,

Time for a game

peddlelies

I got my uncle to ring my mother to stop going into town and she made a big joke out of it. He was on the phone for 30 mins and couldn't get through to her. She won't listen to me at all. In total denial and there's two others in the house.

lisasimpson

If there are elderly in your family or near you and you are doing the shop for them include the local newspaper (old people still love the local paper), if they are into puzzles or crosswords get a book of puzzles or quizez for them. A couple of irish magazines like the country mazagine or vip for older women.Need to keep them occupied and their minds active whem social distancing. For older people keeping their mind healthy is equally important as well a phyiscal health. If you have an sports books lying around. maybe give it to an eldery person who likes their sport. Not only giving older people something to do your helping support local media jobs. Local radio and local newspapers are in serious trouble from this as already seen with celtic media group yesterday

YFlyer

peddlelies wrote: »

I got my uncle to ring my mother to stop going into town and she made a big joke out of it. He was on the phone for 30 mins and couldn't get through to her. She won't listen to me at all. In total denial and there's two others in the house.

Their doctors may have to phone to self isolate.

Claw Hammer

peddlelies wrote: »

I got my uncle to ring my mother to stop going into town and she made a big joke out of it. He was on the phone for 30 mins and couldn't get through to her. She won't listen to me at all. In total denial and there's two others in the house.

Your mother needs a good kick up the arse.

Teach30

Is it ok to have children around if they are family and they don’t go anywhere. My mother late 70s minds her small grandchildren. The children don’t go anywhere shops etc and are minded by their parents during day. Their parents work at home. They are not school going age yet.

Am I wrong in assuming this is ok?

punisher5112

Teach30 wrote: »

Is it ok to have children around if they are family and they don’t go anywhere. My mother late 70s minds her small grandchildren. The children don’t go anywhere shops etc and are minded by their parents during day. Their parents work at home. They are not school going age yet.

Am I wrong in assuming this is ok?

Kids could pick it up off parents and pass on....

There is a risk no matter what....


I see germs walking the streets, not kids ;-)

Supercell

Just called my mother to check in, she is out, as usual. Tomorrow is mothers day and we will be calling over to giver her some chocs etc and have a chat in the driveway. Or at least that's my intention, she will get upset because we won't go into her house for a cuppa and all that..dreading it.
She had the flu at Christmas and was three weeks getting over it, you would have thought that recent experience would have helped get the message home.
Felling the pain of other posters here, just needed to get it of my chest so to speak.

solidasarock

Trying to get my mother to show some cop-on is a battle.

She is in her early 60's. A long time heavy smoker. Works on a till in a busy shop.

Still zero ****s given. Not washing hands more. Not cutting back on her social gatherings. Just thinks a squirt of hand sanitize after leaving the job is enough.


My sister who has a compromised immune system has basically cut her off entirely until this blows over.

Teach30

punisher5112 wrote: »

Kids could pick it up off parents and pass on....

There is a risk no matter what....


I see germs walking the streets, not kids ;-)

Ok great thanks. Probably a higher risk of me giving it to them than the children tbh as I’m doing the shopping etc for home and I live with them. In
Laws and other family members all stay at home parents so they’re not going out. Kids fairly safe so.
Can only hope for the best!

John_Rambo

I had a nightmare shop to do this morning for my elderly neighbour and my elderly parents. Three lists, an overloaded trolly, wife, newborn and two other kids at home.

The shopping centre staff were on the ball and most of the people behaving themselves,

But the amount of the 60+ people misbehaving was very obvious, not adhering to the social distancing, strolling out of the shop with nothing but a newspaper, parking where they shouldn't, chatting away in close groups bitching about teenagers and basically disobeying directives that were put in place for their very own health.

Don't forget, we're dealing with a generation of people that grew up in a time of (diminishing colonial) dubious attitudes towards the law, as righteous as they are now, they were the drink drivers (properly pissed), the ones that admired tax evasion, applauded anyone getting one up on the government, they completely ignored planning laws and basically saw themselves as them against the establishment.

They were certainly hard working, but they are the brown envelope generation, the nudge nudge, wink wink entitled generation that are finding it very hard to cope and conform to this type of global endemic.

Airyfairy12

John_Rambo wrote: »

I had a nightmare shop to do this morning for my elderly neighbour and my elderly parents. Three lists, an overloaded trolly, wife, newborn and two other kids at home.

The shopping centre staff were on the ball and most of the people behaving themselves,

But the amount of the 60+ people misbehaving was very obvious, not adhering to the social distancing, strolling out of the shop with nothing but a newspaper, parking where they shouldn't, chatting away in close groups bitching about teenagers and basically disobeying directives that were put in place for their very own health.

Don't forget, we're dealing with a generation of people that grew up in a time of (diminishing colonial) dubious attitudes towards the law, as righteous as they are now, they were the drink drivers (properly pissed), the ones that admired tax evasion, applauded anyone getting one up on the government, they completely ignored planning laws and basically saw themselves as them against the establishment.

They were certainly hard working, but they are the brown envelope generation, the nudge nudge, wink wink entitled generation that are finding it very hard to cope and conform to this type of global endemic.

This is such a great analogy of the people who are ignoring social distancing. It's mostly boomers and your description of them is spot on.

Noodles81

I thought it was just my family, but my Dad and sister aren't taking it seriously at all. My mam is on immosuppressants, so am I, so I'm trying to get them to be extra careful. But my sister is still calling down like she's the best daughter ever ( with a walking vector of a son) and mam said she'd feel like a cad asking her to stay away...eh, hello Darwin award winner??

I'm fuming even thinking about it. They think I'm over reacting so I just say to myself to drop it. They are adults and can read and process info the same as me. If they choose to be ignorant tools then that's their decision.

I'm staying away from everyone as I'm f#$@ed if I get it. My lungs are only hanging in by a thread as it is!!

An Ri rua

Oh God, but why didn't the Government tell us? Why didn't they make it clearer?? It's like with smoking. Who knew filling your lungs with smoke was bad for you?? It's just counter-intuitive? Why didn't the government do their jobs??

Sam Quentin

lisasimpson wrote: »

If there are elderly in your family or near you and you are doing the shop for them include the local newspaper (old people still love the local paper), if they are into puzzles or crosswords get a book of puzzles or quizez for them. A couple of irish magazines like the country mazagine or vip for older women.Need to keep them occupied and their minds active whem social distancing. For older people keeping their mind healthy is equally important as well a phyiscal health. If you have an sports books lying around. maybe give it to an eldery person who likes their sport. Not only giving older people something to do your helping support local media jobs. Local radio and local newspapers are in serious trouble from this as already seen with celtic media group yesterday

And how are they expected to fit that in-between,.home and away, neighbors,tipping point,the royal,Maire & daithi,East Enders, Emmerdale, coronation st etc etc.i know I missed loads others in between:D

lainey_d_123

John_Rambo wrote: »

I had a nightmare shop to do this morning for my elderly neighbour and my elderly parents. Three lists, an overloaded trolly, wife, newborn and two other kids at home.

The shopping centre staff were on the ball and most of the people behaving themselves,

But the amount of the 60+ people misbehaving was very obvious, not adhering to the social distancing, strolling out of the shop with nothing but a newspaper, parking where they shouldn't, chatting away in close groups bitching about teenagers and basically disobeying directives that were put in place for their very own health.

Don't forget, we're dealing with a generation of people that grew up in a time of (diminishing colonial) dubious attitudes towards the law, as righteous as they are now, they were the drink drivers (properly pissed), the ones that admired tax evasion, applauded anyone getting one up on the government, they completely ignored planning laws and basically saw themselves as them against the establishment.

They were certainly hard working, but they are the brown envelope generation, the nudge nudge, wink wink entitled generation that are finding it very hard to cope and conform to this type of global endemic.

Absolutely spot on. Boomer entitlement is not only annoying but actually dangerous at this time. 'If I want a newspaper, I'm going to get one', totally oblivious to the risks to their own safety and everyone else's. They seem to think they'll be given a red carpet at the ICU if they get sick, and everything will be fine.

*obviously not all Boomers

Notsomindful

Noodles81 wrote: »

I thought it was just my family, but my Dad and sister aren't taking it seriously at all. My mam is on immosuppressants, so am I, so I'm trying to get them to be extra careful. But my sister is still calling down like she's the best daughter ever ( with a walking vector of a son) and mam said she'd feel like a cad asking her to stay away...eh, hello Darwin award winner??

I'm fuming even thinking about it. They think I'm over reacting so I just say to myself to drop it. They are adults and can read and process info the same as me. If they choose to be ignorant tools then that's their decision.

I'm staying away from everyone as I'm f#$@ed if I get it. My lungs are only hanging in by a thread as it is!!

My family are the same. I am the only one of 6 who is following the guidelines to.stay away if you are ill/ keep.children away.

My nan has terminal cancer and only has 6 ish months left. I am not risking passing anything on to her for my own selfish reasons.

I think it will take a personal tragedy for some people to realise the consequences of their actions.

Noodles81

Notsomindful wrote: »

My family are the same. I am the only one of 6 who is following the guidelines to.stay away if you are ill/ keep.children away.

My nan has terminal cancer and only has 6 ish months left. I am not risking passing anything on to her for my own selfish reasons.

I think it will take a personal tragedy for some people to realise the consequences of their actions.

I totally agree, Notsomindful I was talking to mam and she said she asked her not to come down.
I was relieved but disappointed my sister hadn't the cop on to know this herself.