The elders - a megathread

whiskeyman

Popped over to see my Mum yesterday.
Spoke at the driveway only.
Told her if she needed anything to let me know. She said she had loads in.

I ring her this morning and she says she's on the way down into the local shopping centre...
I thought she 'got it' but obviously not.

krissovo

My father in London finally gets it, his brother in law (my uncle) passed away yesterday due to the virus after being placed in a care home the week before by the family thinking he would safer. He was 88 and had a number of medical conditions

His daughter who now it turns out had a loss of taste at the time but thought nothing of it appears to have passed the virus to him when collecting and taking him to the home.

My dad is now in lockdown, he is learning how to to use an Ipad which I bought for him and can now facetime at least.

Xertz

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

This is such a great analogy of the people who are ignoring social distancing. It's mostly boomers and your description of them is spot on.

In Ireland the “boomers” are much later than that - more like 1978-1985. Our generations don’t quite match the US model as we had no signifiant post war boom.

Our 60+ year olds tend to have lived through early years of hard knocks, ducking and diving and emigration. I’d compare them more to Del Boy than US boomers.

The generations that followed really grew up in what was more like a normal Northern European country and seem to be more willing to follow sensible guidelines across a whole range of areas.

American boomers grew up in the good times post 50s.

I wouldn’t use the same communication strategy here in Ireland as you might do in the US.

iamwhoiam

An elder lemon here . We and everyone we know are doing our absolute best
We are staying in , out in the back garden currently . We walk only where very few people and step aside as we pass .
We are wiping down the door bell and post box , door handles etc .
If we have to shop we use wipes and gloves and masks
We are trying our best as are our friends and family . We are not perfect but we are also not stupid and this goes for the vast majority of our age group

My parents (ages 63 and 60) live together in a house with my youngest sibling who is 23.

This youngest sibling is a primary teacher without a contract and is essentially unemployed due to the pandemic.

She recently arranged a cash in hand job minding the children of a neighbouring family Monday to Friday. She returns to my parents’s house every evening.

The wife of the neighboring family is a nurse.

I believe my sister is inadvertently endangering my parents by exposing herself to children and a nurse needlessly 5 days per week.

Am I right to be concerned?

Beasty

Threads merges

NIMAN

I think you already know the answer.

Harry Palmr

Deleted User wrote: »

My parents (ages 63 and 60) live together in a house with my youngest sibling who is 23.

This youngest sibling is a primary teacher without a contract and is essentially unemployed due to the pandemic.

She recently arranged a cash in hand job minding the children of a neighbouring family Monday to Friday. She returns to my parents’s house every evening.

The wife of the neighboring family is a nurse.

I believe my sister is inadvertently endangering my parents by exposing herself to children and a nurse needlessly 5 days per week.

Am I right to be concerned?

Yes that's a what not to do situation. She must be able to get payments under the current rules even if it's only JSB/A.

iamwhoiam

[Deleted User] wrote: »

My parents (ages 63 and 60) live together in a house with my youngest sibling who is 23.

This youngest sibling is a primary teacher without a contract and is essentially unemployed due to the pandemic.

She recently arranged a cash in hand job minding the children of a neighbouring family Monday to Friday. She returns to my parents’s house every evening.

The wife of the neighboring family is a nurse.

I believe my sister is inadvertently endangering my parents by exposing herself to children and a nurse needlessly 5 days per week.

Am I right to be concerned?

Could your sister live with you for the time being ? Then she is doing a service by looking after the kids of frontline staff

punisher5112

At the very least she would want to be staying in her room and using a separate toilet and shower if possible....

iamwhoiam

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Could your sister live with you for the time being ? Then she is doing a service by looking after the kids of frontline staff

No, I live abroad so would love to comment to my sister and parents but feel my comments would be unappreciated, to put it mildly.

iamwhoiam

[Deleted User] wrote: »

No, I live abroad so would love to comment to my sister and parents but feel my comments would be unappreciated, to put it mildly.

Ah ok . It does seem a big risk all right

John_Rambo

Xertz wrote: »

In Ireland the “boomers” are much later than that - more like 1978-1985. Our generations don’t quite match the US model as we had no signifiant post war boom.

Our 60+ year olds tend to have lived through early years of hard knocks, ducking and diving and emigration. I’d compare them more to Del Boy than US boomers.

The generations that followed really grew up in what was more like a normal Northern European country and seem to be more willing to follow sensible guidelines across a whole range of areas.

American boomers grew up in the good times post 50s.

I wouldn’t use the same communication strategy here in Ireland as you might do in the US.

Completely agree with you, but I'd still maintain that the middle*class +60 year olds in Ireland are the ones that got the no-test-driving licence, flaunted planning laws (and got away with it), drank-drunk and drove, payed cash to avoid paying tax all the time and have wink wink "I know a guy" Bertie/Healy Rae brown envelope attitude that still permeates in their ilk.

Although they lived through hard times, unlike the Americans they didn't have conscription, no wars to fight etc... in my view they only now are beginning to realise that they're not above the laws of nature.

*I'm referring to middle class, civil servant & farming types. The proper jackpot boomers of Irish society.

jester77

What is this cocooning?

My parents are both over 70 living back in Ireland. Their nearest supermarket is around 20km away. Can they go shopping? Or will I need to see if I can organise something for them. I'll be calling them this afternoon, just trying to find the relevant info beforehand.

Plus my dad walks his dog every day, it would probably be within 2km of the house, can he still do this? It's in the middle of nowhere, so he wouldn't be meeting people.

appledrop

jester77 wrote: »

What is this cocooning?

My parents are both over 70 living back in Ireland. Their nearest supermarket is around 20km away. Can they go shopping? Or will I need to see if I can organise something for them. I'll be calling them this afternoon, just trying to find the relevant info beforehand.

Plus my dad walks his dog every day, it would probably be within 2km of the house, can he still do this? It's in the middle of nowhere, so he wouldn't be meeting people.

Technically they are not meant to leave the house at all. My parents also in 70s + I know they aren't going to adhere to this. They have agreed that we can do the big shop for them + leave it at the door so at least that something but I was blue in face trying to tell my father that the 2km walk didn't apply to them + they weren't meant to leave the house.

Personally I think if they can avoid the shops that's the main one. I don't see the harm in them talking 2km walk in area where no people.

jester77

appledrop wrote: »

Technically they are not meant to leave the house at all. My parents also in 70s + I know they aren't going to adhere to this. They have agreed that we can do the big shop for them + leave it at the door so at least that something but I was blue in face trying to tell my father that the 2km walk didn't apply to them + they weren't meant to leave the house.

Personally I think if they can avoid the shops that's the main one. I don't see the harm in them talking 2km walk in area where no people.

Yeah, this could get awkward for them.

Any idea about prescriptions? Can anyone just walk into a chemist in Ireland and pick up their medicines?

Beasty

Threads merged

mauraf

Hi
A relative of mine, in their 70s,despite hearing the restrictions last night....went off to the shop this morning...
I don’t live nearby, but other relatives live nearly, so could purchase any provisions needed.
I spoke to them after their shopping trip this morning....and tried to reiterate the importance of not going out...so, while I was told they wouldn’t be beyond this morning...I didn’t believe them.

Refuse to ask relatives, refuse to ask neighbours...I think there is a Huge element of them not wanting people to know they are in the cocooning category....frustrates me no end and I don’t really know how to get it across civilly!

Not sure what to do to be honest and how to deal with them from afar...so as to ensure they say safe!
Anyone similar?

Claw Hammer

There's oul wans near me of walking, who haven't been seen out in years. They don't want to admit they are over 70 and think that by going out, they will fool everyone.

stayback

I have a close family member who is working in the frontline in the HSE qualified professional. He lives away from home and comes home to my parents most weekends. My parents are in their early 70’s healthy and well.
Well he is home this weekend after working 5 12 hour shifts. I thought he was mad to come home. He said it was fine. He is a qualified medical professional I’m not. I asked him yesterday about and he couldn’t give me an answer.

I have left it slide but inside I’m fuming I haven’t gone near my parents since last week. I have rang them everyday dropped shopping to their door got their pension transferred into bank account all the things we were told do.

Please tell me I’m been over dramatic about this family member.

cannotlogin

You aren't being over dramatic.

As a medical professional, he should know better.

o1s1n

Really depends what you mean by 'at home'.

Is he sharing the house with them, sitting down in the same sitting room beside them watching TV, eating with them etc?

Or is he isolated away in another room/granny flat communicating with them from a distance?

I'd be really unimpressed too if it was the first. (tbh the second isn't the best either if they're still all under the same roof)

my parents are in their 50s and I'm only communicating with them over skype, wouldnt dream of going near their house. And that's without me working on the front line of things.

stayback

o1s1n wrote: »

Really depends what you mean by 'at home'.

Is he sharing the house with them, sitting down in the same sitting room beside them watching TV, eating with them etc?

Or is he isolated away in another room/granny flat communicating with them from a distance?

I'd be really unimpressed too if it was the first. (tbh the second isn't the best either if they're still all under the same roof)

my parents are in their 50s and I'm only communicating with them over skype, wouldnt dream of going near their house. And that's without me working on the front line of things.

In the same house.. sharing sitting room kitchen etc

suicide_circus

i suppose a medical professional can still be a moron where they're own behaviour off the clock is concerned.

pjohnson

And this type of carry on is presumably how there are so many clusters in nursing homes. I guess it also is another reason as to how so many health workers are getting it. Arrogance that they know best and dont need to follow rules.

iamwhoiam

Claw Hammer wrote: »

There's oul wans near me of walking, who haven't been seen out in years. They don't want to admit they are over 70 and think that by going out, they will fool everyone.

. People who can’t exercise in other ways are taking short walks
I would go swimming twice a week and am now walking in my own area .
Not bothered who knows what age I am

Ger Roe

Post deleted - wrong thread.

Tordelback

There's different shades of disobedience.

My 77-year old mother took her dog for a short walk at 630am this morning, valuable for her physical and mental health (we've done all her shopping for weeks now), and patently low-risk.

My 92-year old aunt went to Boots on Friday because she was running low on her favourite brand of face cream. All admonishments were met by "I'm not a criminal, I'm not harming anyone". Which is very clearly untrue.

Gloomtastic!

Are old people not hearing/seeing the same news that everyone else is?

There is info everywhere about services old people can avail of to have their shopping delivered so that they can stay safe Inside.

But I see old people out everywhere. Walking and shopping. If they die from c-19 due their own stubbornness then sobeit but stop putting the health service workers at risk due to their stupidity!

/rant over

BrianD3

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Are old people not hearing/seeing the same news that everyone else is?

There is info everywhere about services old people can avail of to have their shopping delivered so that they can stay safe Inside.

But I see old people out everywhere. Walking and shopping. If they die from c-19 due their own stubbornness then sobeit but stop putting the health service workers at risk due to their stupidity!

/rant over

The practicalities of "cocooned" older people accessing services and getting shopping are not considered. "Just go on your tablet and find volunteers in your area and get them to deliver your shopping, simples". Usually said by some over-confident, happy head 25 year old with sh*t for brains.

There is a lot of naivety out there. The State has shown, time and time again, long before Covid-19, that the needs of elderly people staying at home are not a priority. Voluntary initiatives like meals on wheels etc. are provided as solutions, they help but they are not solutions.

The state is now instructing older people to cocoon themselevs. In that case, the authorities, NOT a mish mash of voluntary groups should be dealing with the consequences of this cocooning.