Does virginity shaming exist?

mr_fegelien

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women. Is this the case? Is there pressure for a man to lose his virginity.

Do you also think you need to lose it to be successful? Most male politicians, athletes, businessman seem to have a wife and kids which means they've had sex.

El Gato De Negocios

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women. Is this the case? Is there pressure for a man to lose his virginity.

Do you also think you need to lose it to be successful? Most male politicians, athletes, businessman seem to have a wife and kids which means they've had sex.

From my limited knowledge of the incel garbage they blame everyone else for everything so I wouldn't take what they say as a barometer for anything. "Virginity shaming" screams Porkys, American Pie et al is ie very much an American induced phenomenon. In my experience (I'm almost 41) I've never encountered any negativity surrounding virginity in either gender. Ireland as a society has largely moved on from the catholic mindset of no sex before marriage. Virginity is seen as a sign purity in some religions but that's a debate for somewhere else.

Never heard of the term "manosphere" but as it was mentioned in the same breath as incel then I can only deduce its another equally self pitying group of gobsheens.

colm_mcm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere"

If you live in a space where those terms actually exist, then I have no doubt that “virgin shaming” is in there too.

In reality, nobody cares what you’ve stuck your knob into.

Coralcoras

Not in my experience, no. If this does go on within a circle of friends or acquaintances, then I’d seriously reconsider who I spend my time with.

The chan chan man

colm_mcm wrote: »

If you live in a space where those terms actually exist, then I have no doubt that “virgin shaming” is in there too.

In reality, nobody cares what you’ve stuck your knob into.

They might if they saw the absolute hack of my fleshlight..

rn

I think it does, but spikes in teenage years and drops off quickly after that. Especially in 21st century Ireland and probably more so in Dublin, people are way more accepting of "whatever your into yourself".

eviltwin

I'm an aul one and I've never seen it. I always thought the notion of virginity was a bit ridiculous anyway and makes sex more stressful than it needs to be. If you are mixing in circles where it's a thing I'd recommended finding new people to be around.

endacl

Coralcoras wrote: »

Not in my experience, no. If this does go on within a circle of friends or acquaintances, then I’d seriously reconsider who I spend my time with.

OP only spends his time here though. It must be us.

Yellow_Fern

Statutory Ape wrote: »

From my limited knowledge of the incel garbage they blame everyone else for everything so I wouldn't take what they say as a barometer for anything. "Virginity shaming" screams Porkys, American Pie et al is ie very much an American induced phenomenon. In my experience (I'm almost 41) I've never encountered any negativity surrounding virginity in either gender. Ireland as a society has largely moved on from the catholic mindset of no sex before marriage. Virginity is seen as a sign purity in some religions but that's a debate for somewhere else.

Never heard of the term "manosphere" but as it was mentioned in the same breath as incel then I can only deduce its another equally self pitying group of gobsheens.

It has happened here for years. It is pretty sick.

Yellow_Fern

rn wrote: »

I think it does, but spikes in teenage years and drops off quickly after that. Especially in 21st century Ireland and probably more so in Dublin, people are way more accepting of "whatever your into yourself".

Not remotely true. Ireland is extremely conformist.

El Gato De Negocios

Yellow_Fern wrote: »

It has happened here for years. It is pretty sick.

Thats why I said in my experience. Nobody can make a definitive statement on it, you may have witnessed it but what's to say that wasnt isolated?

GarIT

It was definitely a thing in my secondry school around 2010 but never heard it once college started.

Yellow_Fern

Statutory Ape wrote: »

Thats why I said in my experience. Nobody can make a definitive statement on it, you may have witnessed it but what's to say that wasnt isolated?

Possibly isolated. I can only speak from my experiences but young men are under a lot of pressures and to be honest I so happy to be past that. It is horrible growing up in modern Ireland.

Girly Gal

It does exist in teenagers in secondary school but, drops off after that. Nowadays most people would assume everyone over the age of 21 has lost their virginity, although there would still be a small percentage of people who are still virgins, they would be unlikely to admit it.
I can't imagine a man in his late twenties or older admitting to being a virgin even if people suspected it as they would be ridiculed.
I think losing virginity does boost confidence as it's still seen as a major landmark to adulthood, so I'd imagine not losing it would probably affect a person's confidence.

iptba

I read some research before that heterosexual females tend to find more attractive men who other women are attracted to. So conversely if a man is known to be a virgin, it could make other women find them less attractive.

Of course, this is only one of lots of variables involved in attraction so it’s certainly not the case that a virgin can’t be attractive.

Anyway, it’s not something other people need to know except maybe if one is just about to have sex. So probably best not to mention it unless necessary.

IAMAMORON

It would definitely be a factor amongst teenage male peer groups. Any male getting more sex than others in a peer group would attain a higher social status, particularly as regards attaining any Alpha male qualities.

We do everything that Chimpanzees, Apes and Orangutans do, except we do it like humans, ignore the tree climbing it doesn't really count.

If you are the strongest most powerful male in a group you get the best pussy, it is a fact. Homosexual leanings will act differently, but such subsets will follow similar lines. For example, the guys with the best bodies and the biggest dicks get to ride the most ass, it happens.

Women that say they are not attracted to Alpha males are telling lies to try to prove a point to someone. Timewasters. Animations and traits invented such as " sense of humour" , " nice eyes" , " he is kind and caring" etc etc. This is bullshít which women invent to embellish the partners they are left with or indeed if their Alpha male partner is a phucking animal who everyone in the greater community is terrified of.

iptba

I very much doubt attractiveness is solely down to being the alpha. Also being an alpha as a teenager won’t necessarily translate to whether one is an alpha later if for example one doesn’t have a well-paying job.

IAMAMORON

iptba wrote: »

I very much doubt attractiveness is solely down to being the alpha. Also being an alpha as a teenager won’t necessarily translate to whether one is an alpha later if for example one doesn’t have a well-paying job.

Agreed, teenage standards morph into adult ones. For example a teenager with a motorbike or his own car will get more pussy than a quite teenager who is a maths genius. However in 5 or 6 years the maths genius is highly likely to be in a well paid job. He does however now have to compete against a much larger subset. So for example if the maths genius is below average height he may still struggle sexually as taller pussy will look to engage with taller maths geniuses, etc etc.

You are fully entitled to "doubt" the prerogatives of sexual selection. But every mammal on the planet practices it, that is a scientific fact. As a result Alpha males score the best pussy.. and lots of it.

iptba

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Agreed, teenage standards morph into adult ones. For example a teenager with a motorbike or his own car will get more pussy than a quite teenager who is a maths genius. However in 5 or 6 years the maths genius is highly likely to be in a well paid job. He does however now have to compete against a much larger subset. So for example if the maths genius is below average height he may still struggle sexually as taller pussy will look to engage with taller maths geniuses, etc etc.

You are fully entitled to "doubt" the prerogatives of sexual selection. But every mammal on the planet practices it, that is a scientific fact. As a result Alpha males score the best pussy.. and lots of it.

I didn't say I doubted this couldn't be a factor in attractiveness, just that there are likely lots of factors.

I think any arguments you have might be more convincing if you didn't use "pussy" a few times in the post. To be honest, I think it's the sort of thing that gives men a bad name.

IAMAMORON

iptba wrote: »

I didn't say I doubted this couldn't be a factor in attractiveness, just that there are likely lots of factors.

I think any arguments you have might be more convincing if you didn't use "pussy" a few times in the post. To be honest, I think it's the sort of thing that gives men a bad name.

As I stated in my initial post women will tend to embellish their partner with cosy domestic traits when disguising their genuine reasons for attraction. For example a women married to a narcissistic international banker on a 6 figure salary who drives a BMW and has affairs.... will often tell her friends things like , " you don't know him the way I do" or " he has a great sense of humour" or " oh , he is really kind to animals" . The reality is that most wealthy international bankers are actually quite boring with no sense of humour , but they have loads of extra marital affairs and marry semi professional models.

Women that are not attractive enough to secure the most successful and wealthy partners will make similar excuses. But deep down they will be yearning to have a more successful and attractive partner.

My apologies for over use of the word " pussy" in my previous post, I was not hoping to be derogatory, although I do resent you trying to censor my language. It is hardly a barbaric word.

Eric Cartman

As a teenage as with every other facet of society - theres a lot of stupidity around it, for both genders .

After that its different though. Women who will let anyone throw the leg over are very popular in their teens and early 20's , that quality diminishes rapidly after that though , however in western society women that are virgins will be saugt by teenagers and men in their early 20's but after that falls off a cliff. Like honestly what 25 year old lad wants to get with a woman and do the whole rigmarole of waiting till she's ready and not knowing when you're getting it etc... I've yet to meet a woman over the age of 23 who's a virgin who didn't have serious issues that would have made them a nightmare as a long term partner. (protip - if a woman keeps calling men incels, she's probably in this category, usually its a projected insult)

For men I think its heavily confidence linked. I think there are pools of women in their teens and 20's who absolutely want the thing that everyone else wants and so will go for men with more experience or the perception of more experience. After the mid 20's definitely matters a lot less as they're looking for a partner for a more long term thing so its not as important if they're experienced or not. when its dating in your 30's as a man I think women are more on the lookout for those who don't want children or are afraid of commitment as wastes of time.

sheepsh4gger

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women. Is this the case? Is there pressure for a man to lose his virginity.

Do you also think you need to lose it to be successful? Most male politicians, athletes, businessman seem to have a wife and kids which means they've had sex.

Yes it does exist, especially among liberal NPCs programmed to say 'have sex incel' as a response to everything.


I would advocate for virginity because of the diseases women carry ever since dating app got popular.


I'm not a 'true-cell' as I'm not a virgin but they make some valid points. Search for the 'atomic black pill'. Also if you're not chasing roast beef you make great art, I love the subculture:

Mister Vain

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Agreed, teenage standards morph into adult ones. For example a teenager with a motorbike or his own car will get more pussy than a quite teenager who is a maths genius. However in 5 or 6 years the maths genius is highly likely to be in a well paid job. He does however now have to compete against a much larger subset. So for example if the maths genius is below average height he may still struggle sexually as taller pussy will look to engage with taller maths geniuses, etc etc.

You are fully entitled to "doubt" the prerogatives of sexual selection. But every mammal on the planet practices it, that is a scientific fact. As a result Alpha males score the best pussy.. and lots of it.

Are you a teenager?

mr_fegelien

sheepsh4gger wrote: »

Yes it does exist, especially among liberal NPCs programmed to say 'have sex incel' as a response to everything.


I would advocate for virginity because of the diseases women carry ever since dating app got popular.


I'm not a 'true-cell' as I'm not a virgin but they make some valid points. Search for the 'atomic black pill'. Also if you're not chasing roast beef you make great art, I love the subculture:

Do people actually get tested for STD's before sex?

IAMAMORON

Mister Vain wrote: »

Are you a teenager?

Why, do you want my phone number ?

sheepsh4gger

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Do people actually get tested for STD's before sex?

No, that's why there are posters about STDs everywhere.


Women on Tinder want to have sex only with the top 10% of men on the app. This means that if one of them gets a disease then everyone on the cock carousel has it.



Then the promiscuous women go to doctors who discover all these new diseases they don't even know even what to call them. They are also running out of treatment options as no drugs can handle these mutations.


It's really bad, but there's a double standard when it comes to criticizing women. God forbid someone points out they are whores and suggests personal accountability.

Wibbs

What the actual fuck have I just been reading? Between an apparent inability to refer to women as anything but "pussy", a woefully inaccurate take on the animal kingdom and the great apes, "cock carousel :rolleyes: and WTF is an NPC?? Jesus Christ, it reads like a bunch of adolescent Yanks* on the dafter end of the interwebs.


Clean this up and dial back on the imported third hand parroting of daftness, and maybe, here's a thought, use your own heads. You can y'know. Or basically, this gets closed.




*there's a too bloody large subset of American society found on the interwebs that's gone batsh1t crazy, from the 50+ "genders" eejits, the ChickThink(tm) to the BroScience(tm). The latter are obsessed with "alpha" and "beta" with a few other Greek letters thrown in for good measure and have near zero bloody clue what those terms actually bloody mean. We really don't want to be cogging from a culture that's fraying at the edges.

khaldrogo

No mature adult would shame you for being a virgin imo.

Some may find it odd or unusual, especially if you are 40+ but ultimately they won't care.

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women. Is this the case? Is there pressure for a man to lose his virginity.

Do you also think you need to lose it to be successful? Most male politicians, athletes, businessman seem to have a wife and kids which means they've had sex.

You should be ashamed of being a virgin if you think you are qualified to talk about sexual experiences with others. Otherwise, your chastity is your own business

skallywag

'Incels'?


What the actual fook like ...... ?

Wibbs

Let's not drag posts from elsewhere into this thread please.

Wibbs

IAMAMORON wrote: »

We do everything that Chimpanzees, Apes and Orangutans do, except we do it like humans, ignore the tree climbing it doesn't really count.

On this point. Actually we don't. Each of the great apes have quite different mating strategies, including humans. Even among the two species of Chimps; the bonobo and the chimpanzee, they're quite different. Chimpanzees are quite different to gorillas again. And Orangs, though they're more like gorillas. The latter two have dominant males with essentially harems of females. Even in this set up it has been found that quite the number of offspring have been fathered by lower rank males. Sneaky buggers. Chimps are in many ways a sexual free for all and while dominant males tend to mate more, lower rank males also get in on the action and it would be near impossible for any male to be sure any offspring were his.

We can even see these differences in evolved physical characteristics. Chimps evolved the largest per body size testes, to produce as much sperm as possible to compete in the free for all. Gorillas have the smallest, as there's less competition. Humans are about in the middle, though more towards the gorilla(humans have the biggest willies, so it seems size does matter...).

Humans diverge even more from other great apes in a number of ways, to the degree they're almost a different group. For a start we don't have a mating season. We're fertile year round. Huge diff. We also don't show external signs of fertility. No ovulating women with big red arses going about. Huge diff. Look at that page on After Hours filled with instagram dolly birds. Generally big, even some massive boobage going on. Dead heat in a Zeppelin race. We're the only great ape to have permanently inflated breasts in women. To any other great ape that would be a turn off. It would tell the male the female is breast feeding and sub fertile. The women tend to be young too. Again other great ape males tend to select for older females. Huge diff again.

Humans have a far wider range of sexual and mating behaviour, from small monogamous family units all the way to male harem setups, even occasions of free for alls. We also have much longer and more vulnerable childhoods so investment in offspring is higher for longer.

TL:DR? No we don't do things like the other great apes. Not even close.

As for all this Alpha/Beta stuff? Most of this was kicked off in early studies on wolves in captivity and was then applied elsewhere(with a large dollop of cultural bias). Problem being, well they were in captivity, they were all of the same age and mostly unrelated, so aggro kicked off and pecking orders were established. Basically in human terms they stuck a load of teenagers in a small areas with no supervision and left them to it and extrapolated that into normal wild behaviour. It was lord of the flies in wolf terms.

In reality, in the wild, wolves are very like humans(which is one reason why we were such a fit for each other). That is a small family units(packs) with a mammy and daddy, with juveniles of different ages. When one reaches a certain age it'll go off and find it's own mate and start their own family unit. Like us. Nobody with half a brain would suggest that in a human family the ma and da are the "alphas" and the kids are "betas". It's a nonsense. And the original research team have completely reversed their position on it.

Adam9213

Apparently it does, I've been called a virgin on here numerous times today, irony is one of them had numerous posts in the Garda recruitment forum.

iptba

skallywag wrote: »

'Incels'?


What the actual fook like ...... ?

It’s unclear to me what your point is? Some people call themselves this* and it is sometimes used by others as an insult.

*They have even created some communities on the internet but I have never seen what they are like

ancapailldorcha

To answer the question, it probably does when you're younger. Once you get older, it weirdly becomes less important and more important if you remain celibate.

iptba wrote: »

It’s unclear to me what your point is? Some people call themselves this* and it is sometimes used by others as an insult.

*They have even created some communities on the internet but I have never seen what they are like

Probably started innocently enough but as with everything on the internet, all it takes a shower of nasty individuals to move in and ruin it for everyone.

freshpopcorn

In secondary school a bit and maybe a little at the start of college but I found people were generally alright to those guys who didn't have much of a chance!

skallywag

iptba wrote: »

It’s unclear to me what your point is?

My point is that it has to be one of the most ridiculous labels I have had the misfortune to come across.

Are some people really at the level that they take this nonsense seriously?

IAMAMORON

skallywag wrote: »

My point is that it has to be one of the most ridiculous labels I have had the misfortune to come across.

Are some people really at the level that they take this nonsense seriously?

Are you red or blue pill skally?

Only joking, I am glad you care.

sheepsh4gger

skallywag wrote: »

My point is that it has to be one of the most ridiculous labels I have had the misfortune to come across.

Are some people really at the level that they take this nonsense seriously?

Look up Egg White (rapper).


Some 'glowies' think 'incels' they are a threat threat after Alek Minassian shot up some people in Canada. There was a guy who made a song called 'Alek Minassian' and that got visited by the FBI about it - a bunch of boomers with no sense of humor. The word 'incel' comes from the 'community' itself, most likely 4chan, Wizardchan, 8kun (it's like a forum but you don't need to register an account to post comments, your threads get deleted after a day or so). Some woman like Maddow told folks who watch CNN about this new 'incel' threat and now all NPCs (both left and right leaning) use 'incel' as an insult. (They did a study and a lot of people have no internal monologue, just repeat what the media tells them to think about subjects therefore the NPC meme).


Some say Alek Minassian and Elliot Rodger were government operatives. The feds often try to infiltrate groups (say the hacker community) and try to entrap them. The feds always try to come up with imagined threats.



If you ask me the whole thing is a meme (lots of this is hilarious) and shallow feminist women brought this on themselves.


There's some crossover with the MGTOW (men going their own way) community but that's usually an older demographic.


I browse imageboards because that's were the memes orignate, mainly for the humor but there are also useful sections like /diy:
https://boards.4channel.org/diy/
avoid the /pol board - it's a containment zone and full of glowies



Terminology:
(note that some people who write these definitions have their own agenda)


https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=incel&page=2
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Roastie


https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=NPC
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Wizard



https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Glowie
(term coined by Terry Davis, a schizophrenic programmer who claimed to have ran over some CIA agents in the 90s [probably imagined])



https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=boomer

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=MGTOW
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=4chan

SharpshooterTom

I'm 33 coming 34. Never been kissed, had a girlfriend, a female friend and not surprisingly still a virgin.

I've never been shamed over it though, don't ever get asked about my relationship or marital status I think a lot of people could guess anyway in a kind of "oh yeah that guy definitely has never had a girlfriend!", I think people would act shocked if I actually had one "who the hell would date you" sort of thing.

ancapailldorcha

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

I'm 33 coming 34. Never been kissed, had a girlfriend, a female friend and not surprisingly still a virgin.

I've never been shamed over it though, don't ever get asked about my relationship or marital status I think a lot of people could guess anyway in a kind of "oh yeah that guy definitely has never had a girlfriend!", I think people would act shocked if I actually had one "who the hell would date you" sort of thing.

Do you mind if I ask if many of the people you know are aware of it?

SharpshooterTom

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Do you mind if I ask if many of the people you know are aware of it?

Mum and brother almost certainly, possibly some other family members. I think one of my neighbours remarked about my lack of love life to my mum once, my mum's the type who doesn't hold water and blurts out too much so obviously had a conversation about it.

I suspect places I've worked at colleagues probably assumed I was a bit of an oddball so never asked about it, although I wouldn't be surprised if there's been remarks behind my back.

ancapailldorcha

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

Mum and brother almost certainly, possibly some other family members. I think one of my neighbours remarked about my lack of love life to my mum once, my mum's the type who doesn't hold water and blurts out too much so obviously had a conversation about it.

I suspect places I've worked at colleagues probably assumed I was a bit of an oddball so never asked about it, although I wouldn't be surprised if there's been remarks behind my back.

Almost certainly? I don't think that they'd know unless you'd explicitly told them. Sex is just something people are assumed to be doing nowadays.

SharpshooterTom

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Almost certainly? I don't think that they'd know unless you'd explicitly told them. Sex is just something people are assumed to be doing nowadays.

Well they know I've never had a girlfriend or even remotely come close to having one. Put it this way I think they'd be very surprised if I wasn't one.

ancapailldorcha

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

Well they know I've never had a girlfriend or even remotely come close to having one. Put it this way I think they'd be very surprised if I wasn't one.

I think you may be overthinking that to be honest.

Ultimately though, unless you confide in people then you won't know how they'll react.

SharpshooterTom

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I think you may be overthinking that to be honest.

Ultimately though, unless you confide in people then you won't know how they'll react.

My point is that most people who get to know me would likely suspect I'm the type who wouldn't be involved in romantic relationships. In places I've worked in when someone ever got engaged or when there was discussions on relationships etc I was often omitted and was never asked largely because they would have suspected given my 'odd' personality that I wasn't the type who would be involved in that sort of stuff.

Pawwed Rig

I have worked with various odd people over the years. Some I have liked and some I haven't liked. What their relationship status or sexual experience (or lack thereof) was not something that ever occurred to me so as ACD says you may be over thinking it.

Out of interest have you ever thought about paying for it just for the experience?

I had an old farmer uncle who would have died a virgin if he had not availed of the services of some nice girls at least 1 time in his life. I only discovered this post mortem.

playonplayette

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women..

I suppose it could exist, innocently enough between friends joking or as part of bullying or harassment. It would depend on someone's own outlook and own views about it whether you let it get to you or just see it for what it is.

Remember your one on loose women I think, said something about getting her son a prostitute or something. Can't remember it exactly but she shouldn't have said that on TV.

Anyway I'm not sure it is as simple as it is praised in women. I know what you mean though but it can often be used against women or conflictingly like being called frigid or something like that.

For example when I was around 13, I was approached by this girl of 16 and she asked me if I would be with her brother jamesy who was 14. She was a Traveller and they were camped up for a week or two in a field near our town so we had seen them around. Not a Traveller bashing post.

Anyway I said 'no'. She asked me why and was a bit intimidating but left it at that. Later that day Jamesy must have got some sort of rejection **** it courage because him and his little twerp friend who was about 12 but only looked 10 approached and stopped me on my bike with my friend wanting an explanation of why I wouldn't 'be with him' : confused: :pac:

He was holding onto the handlebars of the bike. I said because I just don't want too and his little friend piped up 'its because she's a virgin' as though there had to be some reason other than I just didn't want too. Jamesy looked at me and said "Is that it, is that what it is?'

For some reason my instinct said to say no so I defiantly told them no I wasn't a virgin (obviously I was). The little twerp friend said 'ah she is. She is a virgin' and Jamesy laughed and gave me a nod and they both walked on.

I looked at my friend breathing a sigh of relief and we cycled off.

ancapailldorcha

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

My point is that most people who get to know me would likely suspect I'm the type who wouldn't be involved in romantic relationships. In places I've worked in when someone ever got engaged or when there was discussions on relationships etc I was often omitted and was never asked largely because they would have suspected given my 'odd' personality that I wasn't the type who would be involved in that sort of stuff.

Unless they've said something explicitly then, as I said you're overthinking it. If you've not made big contributions to discussions on this topic before with your friends, colleagues and acquaintances then they've probably assumed that you're not really interested in such conversations.

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I have worked with various odd people over the years. Some I have liked and some I haven't liked. What their relationship status or sexual experience (or lack thereof) was not something that ever occurred to me so as ACD says you may be over thinking it.

Out of interest have you ever thought about paying for it just for the experience?

I had an old farmer uncle who would have died a virgin if he had not availed of the services of some nice girls at least 1 time in his life. I only discovered this post mortem.

I don't think paying for it is a good idea. If you have issues with sex or hangups it won't do anything for you and that's before you get to the legal or ethical issues which aren't concerns for everyone of course.

Girly Gal

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I have worked with various odd people over the years. Some I have liked and some I haven't liked. What their relationship status or sexual experience (or lack thereof) was not something that ever occurred to me so as ACD says you may be over thinking it.

Out of interest have you ever thought about paying for it just for the experience?

I had an old farmer uncle who would have died a virgin if he had not availed of the services of some nice girls at least 1 time in his life. I only discovered this post mortem.

I think you're right that work colleagues don't think about what their colleagues sexual experience is, they may question what someone's sexuality is, but, I think once people pass their early twenties everyone just assumes they have had sex.
It's not something to be ashamed of but, in this day and age no one is going to confirm they are a virgin for fear of being humiliated. I also think there are probably more people in their thirties and above who are virgins than people realise as their are alot of socially awkward people that I would imagine would find it difficult to have any sexual experience. I don't see anything wrong with paying for it, if that's the only way they're going to experience it as long as the other person is a willing participant.
I think as society has opened up it's less likely now that younger people (late teens/early twenties)will remain virgins as they are experimenting at an earlier age and don't have the same hang ups about sex as previous generations had.

Pawwed Rig

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I don't think paying for it is a good idea. If you have issues with sex or hangups it won't do anything for you and that's before you get to the legal or ethical issues which aren't concerns for everyone of course.

I did say abroad, so somewhere where it is legal. Plenty of places in close proximity or further afield. Her body her choice and all that - not to drag the conversation off topic.