What can I do?

FrankC21

Hi,

My pregnant wife hyper-ventilated during an argument at work with her senior staff nurse, she got really emotional and had to sit down to calm down. She is not the only staff being shouted by this "senior staff".

I understand that this is a very stressful time due to the pandemic but as a future father, I am afraid for my wife and the unborn child. Is there anything I could do to this "senior staff" rather than talking to her which is useless - because she does this shouting to all her staff member.

Can I report this? Like I want this senior staff to get a warning or something?
Is it considered an abuse to the unborn child?

Wuff Wuff

So words are abuse to an unborn child

Jesus wept

Jim Root

Seriously?

Wesser

No it is not an abuse to your unborn child. Your second thread......

History Queen

To answer your question...No.

To offer advice, your wife should follow whatever grievance procedure is available to her at work (through HR). You really shouldn't get involved in her work place dispute beyond obviously supporting her.

TrixIrl

The only proper advice is for your wife to submit a formal grievance in line with the agreed grievance procedure. Recommendation to seek union support re same..

If your wife feels the stress is affecting her or her unborn babies health she needs to contact her GP who may sign her off with stress if clinically warranted

conndeal

Was there any witnesses to the incident? If your wife lodges a complaint the onus will be on her to prove her complaint. The staff nurse will probably deny the incident. If there was no witness it will be hard to prove.

_Brian

FrankC21 wrote: »

Hi,

My pregnant wife hyper-ventilated during an argument at work with her senior staff nurse, she got really emotional and had to sit down to calm down. She is not the only staff being shouted by this "senior staff".

I understand that this is a very stressful time due to the pandemic but as a future father, I am afraid for my wife and the unborn child. Is there anything I could do to this "senior staff" rather than talking to her which is useless - because she does this shouting to all her staff member.

Can I report this? Like I want this senior staff to get a warning or something?
Is it considered an abuse to the unborn child?

Firstly you don’t work there, weren’t shouted at and so have no business talking to the person or any representatives of the hospital about it.

Your wife can if she chooses make a complaint about her treatment. Shouting in the workplace isn’t appropriate on any level and shouldn’t be accepted. It’s a form of bullying when a senior staff member shouts at other staff. That’s where I would go. She could make a bullying complaint. Just remember, once it’s done there is no going back.

1hnr79jr65

Union rep

Victor

This thread came to mind when I saw this tweet.

https://twitter.com/AITA_reddit/status/1263198173939601408

Strumms

Nobody in a job has the right to shout at another member of staff, be it a manager, colleague, customer, contractor, whoever...

If it was me, I’d wait for the situation to calm, over 24 hours. If the person involved wasn’t calmed down and forthcoming with an apology I’d make a formal complaint to their superior, in writing ....complete with...

Where it happened

When it happened

Who may have witnessed this

What situation instigated or may have instigated this behavior

Any previous similar issues with the manager

Have copies of the company employee manual or equivalent document and issue it as an attachment.

Explain you have highlight the section that deals with ‘employee behavior’, communication or the equivalent...

You are awaiting feedback..

Mrs OBumble

Strumms wrote: »

Nobody in a job has the right to shout at another member of staff, be it a manager, colleague, customer, contractor, whoever...

If it was me, I’d wait for the situation to calm, over 24 hours. If the person involved wasn’t calmed down and forthcoming with an apology I’d make a formal complaint to their superior, in writing ....complete with...

Where it happened

When it happened

Who may have witnessed this

What situation instigated or may have instigated this behavior

Any previous similar issues with the manager

Have copies of the company employee manual or equivalent document and issue it as an attachment.

Explain you have highlight the section that deals with ‘employee behavior’, communication or the equivalent...

You are awaiting feedback..

That's fine if your are the employee.

But the employees partner / husband / buddy etc has no place in such in such a discussion. All they can do is support and encourage the employee to take adult actions.


(I don't totally agree re no shouting, there are safety related situations where forceful speaking is necessary. And distance related ones where extra vocal production is necessary.)

Diziet

Your wife's job is her job, contacting her employer is unprofessional and dis-empowering for her. Support your wife at home by all means but please keep out of her job.

Strumms

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

That's fine if your are the employee.

But the employees partner / husband / buddy etc has no place in such in such a discussion. All they can do is support and encourage the employee to take adult actions.


(I don't totally agree re no shouting, there are safety related situations where forceful speaking is necessary. And distance related ones where extra vocal production is necessary.)

I agree about the partner / husband / buddy role, 100%.

It’s NEVER appropriate to shout at a colleague / employee... Never.

No conversation of that nature should ever happen at ‘distance’... it almost sounds like you are excusing or trying to excuse this appallingly unproductive and unprofessional behavior...

The management person needed to email or speak to the Employee through email or face to face and invite them to a discussion in a private office where quiet and private would be the backdrop to a civil and professional interaction where they could speak with each other, voice concerns and attempt a resolution.

It’s not rocket science. Unfortunately this manager would be better off put out to pasture. Unfortunately if they cannot communicate with an employee in a reasoned, professional, courteous and respectful manner they have no business having the job and title. It’s the very basic ability of a manager, communicating and being professional and respectful...if they lack such basic decision making ability of when, where and how to have such a conversation and treat an employee... poor, very poor..

Dav010

Strumms wrote: »

I agree about the partner / husband / buddy role, 100%.

It’s NEVER appropriate to shout at a colleague / employee... Never.

No conversation of that nature should ever happen at ‘distance’... it almost sounds like you are excusing or trying to excuse this appallingly unproductive and unprofessional behavior...

The management person needed to email or speak to the Employee through email or face to face and invite them to a discussion in a private office where quiet and private would be the backdrop to a civil and professional interaction where they could speak with each other, voice concerns and attempt a resolution.

It’s not rocket science. Unfortunately this manager would be better off put out to pasture. Unfortunately if they cannot communicate with an employee in a reasoned, professional, courteous and respectful manner they have no business having the job and title. It’s the very basic ability of a manager, communicating and being professional and respectful...if they lack such basic decision making ability of when, where and how to have such a conversation and treat an employee... poor, very poor..

We don’t know the context of the conversation. Someone who is sensitive to inflection may construe a raising of voice above usual volume as shouting. In reality, when making a point, particularly when a mistake has been made or someone isn’t pulling their weight, it isn’t unusual for voices to be slightly raised. Having worked in a Hospital, ward sisters are Gods, even the Doctors tread carefully, so the op complaining will not go down well, especially if the Sister has the backing of the Doctors on the ward. Many Consultants respect the senior staff nurses more than their Doctors.

Strumms

Dav010 wrote: »

We don’t know the context of the conversation. Someone who is sensitive to inflection may construe a raising of voice above usual volume as shouting. In reality, when making a point, particularly when a mistake has been made or someone isn’t pulling their weight, it isn’t unusual for voices to be slightly raised. Having worked in a Hospital, ward sisters are Gods, even the Doctors tread carefully, so the op complaining will not go down well, especially if the Sister has the backing of the Doctors on the ward. Many Consultants respect the senior staff nurses more than their Doctors.

The OP said shouting.. I’m happy to go with their version of events as opposed to others querying it, especially when they were not there... I can tell the difference between shouting and a raised voiced, I’d presume most people including the complainant can too... let’s quit looking to excuse downright shîttty, aggressive and unprofessional behavior...

Dav010

Strumms wrote: »

The OP said shouting.. I’m happy to go with their version of events as opposed to others querying it, especially when they were not there... I can tell the difference between shouting and a raised voiced, I’d presume most people including the complainant can too... let’s quit looking to excuse downright shîttty, aggressive and unprofessional behavior...

The op wasn’t there either. We are hearing this second hand, as I said, we don’t know the context and the op hasn’t provided it.

The op is asking if this is abuse of his unborn child, so I’d say we are talking about very sensitive people here.

Strumms

Dav010 wrote: »

The op wasn’t there either. We are hearing this second hand, as I said, we don’t know the context and the op hasn’t provided it.

The op is asking if this is abuse of his unborn child, so I’d say we are talking about very sensitive people here.

Just because it’s being related second hand does not give me any reason to question the veracity of the complaint.. or indeed the complainant. Im going to take it at face value, like the majority of what I read on boards.

There is no context that allows a manager / supervisor to shout at an employee, pregnant or otherwise. The professional thing in this situation would be to invite them into the office, sit down with them, relate the concerns to the employee and also listen to their feedback too.. takes 5-10 minutes out of an 8 hour shift, 2.38% of their working day, an important task (we presume).

If it’s me as a manager I want my reputation both with my own management, management team colleagues and employees to be the same. I’m going to give respect and I want to get it too.

Trying to solve issues by shouting at an employee across a crowded and noisy workspace won’t get you respect from any quarter and if I was a senior manager of a line manager who was conducting themselves in such a downright unpleasant and unprofessional manner, they’d be sitting down quick time and talking to me and being reminded both verbally and in writing (LOC) and a copy of the relevant section of the employee manual which relates both to communication and also fair treatment in the workplace, they can sign to say they have received, they understand and will conduct themselves in line with the expectation of said policy going forward.. failure to do so may result in disciplinary action..

Mrs OBumble

Strumms wrote: »

There is no context that allows a manager / supervisor to shout at an employee, pregnant or otherwise. The professional thing in this situation would be to invite them into the office, sit down with them, relate the concerns to the employee and also listen to their feedback too.. takes 5-10 minutes out of an 8 hour shift, 2.38% of their working day, an important task (we presume).

And in the meantime the patient dies of the incorrect whats-it that the nurse just incorrectly applied to them.

Fan-freaking-tastic that all the employees dignity is upheld. Pity about the customers.