Maintenance when father has child full time

Kevhog1988

Hi All,


Just a quick question around paying maintenance when having a child full time. Since the start of the pandemic i have been the primary parent of my son(8) as he decided he wanted to be in the country with me rather than a town with his mother so he could play etc. I have continued to pay the weekly maintenance (€80) as normal and to comply with the court order from when we organised everything. I had no issue with paying this as i was happy for him to be out here and having a better quality of life than some of his neighbours with a postage stamp garden. His mother texted today about the items he requires for next year. i agreed to buy his books and asked that she pay the school fees of about €75. She then wanted me to pay for his uniform, shoes etc. I asked if she could use the maintenance i have been paying over the past few weeks and she went off on one. Was i wrong to think that it was a fair request or what would your take be on it?.

Shelli2

I can see both sides. While she could be saving some of the maintenance on food etc it's likely that's she factors it in to her monthly budget for bills and rent/mortgage, all of which still needs to be paid to ensure a secure home for your son to return to.

Did you normally pay for all the school uniforms and fees on top of the maintenance?

mordeith

Shelli2 wrote: »

factors it in to her monthly budget for bills and rent/mortgage, all of which still needs to be paid to ensure a secure home for your son to return to.

Did you normally pay for all the school uniforms and fees on top of the maintenance?

Presumably the op is also paying bills/rent/mortgage. Is the mother working OP?

Kevhog1988

mordeith wrote: »

Presumably the op is also paying bills/rent/mortgage. Is the mother working OP?

No not working. Claims social welfare and lives in a social house.

Meeoow

I think it's reasonable that she uses some of the maintenance money to buy the uniform. She is probably entitled to claim the back to school clothing and footwear allowance. So you shouldn't be stumping up anyway.

Kevhog1988

Kevhog1988 wrote: »

No not working. Claims social welfare and lives in a social house.

Well I'm sure she gets back to school allowance so, pays for uniforms & shoes etc

amadangomor

Surely the maintenance should be reversed in this situation?

As the mother is not working this is not practical so I think it's fair to stop paying it. Add up all the school expenses etc. and split it 50/50.

jlm29

I have an 8 year old. He eats all day long. She’s saving a fortune on food if your 8 yr old is anything like mine

Kevhog1988

amadangomor wrote: »

Surely the maintenance should be reversed in this situation?

As the mother is not working this is not practical so I think it's fair to stop paying it. Add up all the school expenses etc. and split it 50/50.

Thats never going to happen. If i stop paying the maintenance i am in breach of the court order.

Kevhog1988

jlm29 wrote: »

I have an 8 year old. He eats all day long. She’s saving a fortune on food if your 8 yr old is anything like mine

Haha he likes the grub alright.

Milly33

I would think that is totally acceptable and that the mother is out of order...