Seperation and court

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I was in a long term relationship, living together (renting) 9 years (cohabitants). Unmarried, no children.

Initially told my partner I wanted to end the relationship about 8 months ago but decided to then do couples counseling, which lasted about 6 weeks before I ended the relationship for good. I went to my brothers house and she stayed in our home until she found a new place.

I recently received a solicitors letter saying that my ex had requested them to make an application for redress under the cohabitation act 2010. It then said that they hope we can come to an agreement on the terms of how we can live separately or go through mediation.
I was surprised that it's got to this point where there's a legal element to my relationship ending. We have no kids, no property ownership and while she definitely earned less than me and I paid more towards living expenses, she wasn't my dependent (?).

We have been living separately for over 3 months now. The day after I ended the relationship she said she needs to sort her things, she also started looking for a place to live (she wouldn't be able to afford the current place we were in on her own)
She worked over the past 9 years, sometimes part-time, sometimes full-time, the odd month not at all, as well as being in full-time education to get a Masters and then a PHD.

She is very hurt and feels like she is left with nothing, she feels hard done by because she would have been paying a lot more towards rent in proportion to our salaries. She has debt from a loan and not much savings, she was working and earning money up until and after the end of the relationship though. She is an incredibly hard worker and can be a lovely person, but she has some issues.
I tried to ignore the influx of contact from her as much as possible, which hurt her more, but which I was advised to do by professionals.

I guess I'm just looking for advice on this situation. Would it be unusual for a case like this to end up in court? I thought it would mainly just be when there are kids/property/dependency? Would she be considered a dependent because there were some months where I paid all or the majority of the rent? I'm still the guarantor on her loan, would that make her my dependent?
Should I just continue to offer a small one off payment and hope that ends it?

I've been really struggling since the end of the relationship, receiving hundreds and hundreds of texts and phonecalls, some at 2AM/3AM/4AM. She called to my front door unannounced during the coronavirus restrictions as well.
A couple of months ago she also started demanding her home back and saying that I bullied her out of it (I did send a few messages asking does she know when she will be moving yet but I wasn't bullying her).

I was planning on gifting her some money because of the coronavirus situation, prior to getting the solicitors letter. I had even said it to her, and then a few days later received the letter.
She didn't even pay rent the last 4 months she was living in our home, I didn't really mind that as I saw it as giving her some money to help her after she moves.

Although I think it's unlikely I'm worried I'll get pulled into court and be made pay some unreasonable amount of money.

MissShihTzu

You're not married, no children and no property. Your ex is entitled to nothing. I wouldn't be worried about court. I would be more worried about the stalking, and texting at all hours.

I would ignore and block. The next time your ex turns up to your door during the restrictions, call the Gards.

TheBoyConor

One of the reasons I will never live with any partner, let alone get married. No way. This is the result.

You need to get a solicitor to advise you on the next steps. Cut all contact and any further contact should be between the solicitors. Whatever you might say to her in texts or in person probably would be taken out of context and they would twist it ti make it look like harrassment or some sort of manipulative control.

LegacyUser

Back again,

Ex. had stopped contact for month of July and most of August. But messages picked back up again the end of August and has been frequent since. Some days receiving 40 texts.

I received a second letter from her solicitor in mid August as well. We went to mediation but it was unsuccessful, the letter stated that since the mediation was unsuccessful they would be making an application for redress now.

So I have that constantly on my mind, checking the post box every day expecting a court date, or an email from my solicitor.

I had offered my ex €10,000 in the mediation but she said she should get €70,000.
I want to help her but what she is looking for just seems crazy to me.

I guess I'm just posting to give an update and hoping that someone who has been in a similar situation (Not married) happens to see this and tells me that they didn't get royal f**cked in court.