How did your bully in secondary school turn out?

Charles Babbage

The school bully spent a very long time in a Big House in the Midlands, with one of the longest sentences in the State, although I believe he may have been released lately.
I am not planning a reunion, although I am always happy to meet anyone else from my class.

r93kaey5p2izun

He was shot dead around 10 years ago.

Wanderer2010

I went to secondary school with a guy who was a real bully. Not always in a physical way but he wasn't above this either. Typical GAA guy, loved himself, not bad looking so he knew the girls loved him and again, the teachers gave him a pass because he was good at GAA. He used to make horrible comments about other students and teachers, just generally not a nice person at all.

Didn't think of him at all until recently until I saw he was now the principal of a local secondary school, saw him on LinkedIn. I was thinking how ironic it was that this bully now was in charge of a whole school of children and no doubt dealing with parents regularly. I can only hope he has had a bit of emotional maturing in the last 20 or so years that he can see how damaging bullying is but I doubt this, people rarely change their inner personality. They may mask it for certain situations but they cant change it. How could he possibly deal with kids being bullied when he was one himself. I would never ever put my kids in that school.

Strumms

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I went to secondary school with a guy who was a real bully. Not always in a physical way but he wasn't above this either. Typical GAA guy, loved himself, not bad looking so he knew the girls loved him and again, the teachers gave him a pass because he was good at GAA. He used to make horrible comments about other students and teachers, just generally not a nice person at all.

Didn't think of him at all until recently until I saw he was now the principal of a local secondary school, saw him on LinkedIn. I was thinking how ironic it was that this bully now was in charge of a whole school of children and no doubt dealing with parents regularly. I can only hope he has had a bit of emotional maturing in the last 20 or so years that he can see how damaging bullying is but I doubt this, people rarely change their inner personality. They may mask it for certain situations but they cant change it. How could he possibly deal with kids being bullied when he was one himself. I would never ever put my kids in that school.

What the fûck is it with Irish schools and letting away the most lazy and useless and aggressive bullying twats with anything and everything, because they play and are good at GAA ?

I was friends with a guy right through secondary school who was representing the Irish soccer team at underage level, trials with Manchester United, Arsenal, Wolves, Coventry City and caps including Irish U16s then U18s team... think he may have ended up on Birmingham City’s books for a while after school without ever troubling the first 11 but he was a likable, friendly, easy going, well behaved guy. He was NOT academic but it wasn’t for the want of effort on his part, he was a tryer... if he got a shît mark in an exam the form teacher (a dyed in the wool GAA guy, whose son had made a couple of Dublin league panels) would belittle the fûck out of him in front of everyone, “yes and Sean you’d be better off quitting dreaming of Wembley and focus more on scoring an exam score.”

Same prick would probably be bragging now if had got straight D’s and a couple of fails but won an all Ireland medal... “ we set him up for that success, gave him his grounding “

EmmetSpiceland

kowloon wrote: »

I'm not sure it's a good idea to give out names anyway. ***, for instance, is being accused by someone anonymous and isn't here to defend himself. That's why I'm keeping the name of the stand-up comedian to myself.

Noble, and honourable, sir.

If the, original, “poster” had done the same I wouldn’t have said a word.

Thespoofer

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I was bullied for my autism and had to switch schools. Also ended up bullied there.

The funny thing is that the bullies were smart and posh. They were racist too.

As you can expect, they turned out better than me.

F*&k them. Forget about them and move on. Work on yourself.

Flickerfusion

Weirdly enough I found in my school days the guys in my year took a very hard like on bullying. We didn’t really tolerate it at all and kept it out.

What was disappointing was some of the teachers engaged in it rather heavily. One or two in particular were not beyond name calling and making people the butt of jokes.

I remember one teacher in particular who used to pick on me about by height and also because I couldn’t hear well.

“Ah sure there’s no point in talking to x...!”
“I’ll say it louder for yer man!”
“Can you H E A R me?”

Slamming books into my table and stuff when I didn’t catch what he said.

“You! The lanky fella at the back!”

That sort of thing.

We also had the stereotypical psycho type who used to throw objects at desks and roar her lungs out. She flung a book once and smashed a window which resulted in her “taking some time off”

Also has an Irish primary teacher hold me upside down over a bin as punishment when I was in junior infants.

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS!

Retired on a gold plated, over-paid pension courtesy of me and other workers after being underworked her whole career.

My bully was the teacher.

Mules

She dropped out in 5th year and became a prostitute and a heroin addict.

freshpopcorn

They’ve done good for themselves some are doctors, nurses, good enough jobs and some not so good enough jobs but they all seem fine.
Would I give any of them another chance if I bumped into them of course.
Something I realised when I left school was some guys were just a bit twat and not mature but others had issues at home and were all over the places not that’s not an excuse I know but they were acting out. Well in a a lot of the cases.

The strange thing is the worse bullying I experienced was when I went to college.

ILoveYourVibes

One shot someone when she was 15.


A few years later she threatened me once when i was leaving my place of work on the street. I think she moved out of the area after that.

One committed suicide sadly a few years ago. I was sad about this because i had reached out to her in recent years to patch things so it was ok then. Not that it would have been ok had we not patched things up. It still would have been horrible. I don't want that to happen to anyone.

Weirdly if you had asked me who was most likely to end up in serious crime ..i would have said the first girl ..and if you had asked me who had the lowest self esteem ..i would have said the second girl. I was perceptive even back then.

storker

I haven't kept tabs on mine, because to this day I have only contempt for them, although I know that one spent some time in prison, and another is dead. Pfft.

L1011

Due to reaching my adult height when I was 13 (and being the second tallest person in the building, and then tallest when they left school - taller than all the teachers) I never really had one.

One who tried a lot of psychological stuff is now a college associate professor/doctorate holder and did sort-of apologise when pissed once.

Main primary school one died in prison (well, custody) in Australia as far as I can tell. Was London Irish so wouldn't have got the same media coverage an Irish lad in his 20s dying in the same circumstances would; so I can't be sure.

ILoveYourVibes

freshpopcorn wrote: »

The strange thing is the worse bullying I experienced was when I went to college.

Wow that is unusual. I am sorry.

road_high

Easier said than done but no point wasting headspace or emotional strength on these people. It natural to feel resentful and want to revel in their failures years later but these are still toxic emotions in themselves that can consume you too if unchecked.It’s cliched I know but focus on yourself and improving you- best revenge possible

andekwarhola

Never been systemically bullied by a single person but I'd like to think I'd just get on with it and not dwell on it later but who am I to say.

freshpopcorn

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Wow that is unusual. I am sorry.

I went to an all guys school and it was relaxed enough there was the odd bit off bullying but nothing major. We did mix with the convent at lunch time and during certain classes but I think people were fairly accepting.

At college tough there was a lot of bullying from the women towards other women and the guys as well. A good few people were just made feel like misfits and odd balls by people certain members of the class. It was mainly women who were doing the bullying. It was experienced by a good few members of the class.
Some wee bullied by people and there flat mates had there bullies over a lot.

road_high

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I went to an all guys school and it was relaxed enough there was the odd bit off bullying but nothing major. We did mix with the convent at lunch time and during certain classes but I think people were fairly accepting.

At college tough there was a lot of bullying from the women towards other women and the guys as well. A good few people were just made feel like misfits and odd balls by people certain members of the class. It was mainly women who were doing the bullying. It was experienced by a good few members of the class.
Some wee bullied by people and there flat mates had there bullies over a lot.

Yea was a bit of bullying in university but it never really takes hold like in school. The time and proximity aren’t as intense I suppose and most people tend to care less by that stage. Never went much beyond hostile bitchiness really

freshpopcorn

road_high wrote: »

Yea was a bit of bullying in university but it never really takes hold like in school. The time and proximity aren’t as intense I suppose and most people tend to care less by that stage. Never went much beyond hostile bitchiness really

I think part of the problem was some of us were expecting college to have much bullying on it at all.

My bullies got good leaving certs and having no need to repeat, went to places like Trinity, UCD. They have had some great past pupil reunions. they are in a thriving past pupils union which is online as well.

I am not in this past pupils union.

road_high

Deleted User wrote: »

My bullies got good leaving certs and having no need to repeat, went to places like Trinity, UCD. They have had some great past pupil reunions. they are in a thriving past pupils union which is online as well.

I am not in this past pupils union.

Why even care? Arseholes attract arseholes! No reason why you can’t match or surpass them academically and career wise.

andekwarhola

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I am not in this past pupils union.

Sounds like a win

s7ryf3925pivug

Don't know. Don't care.
I think that's the best result.

Generally better not to think of people as being better or worse than each other anyway.

I mean if you know people you can find that they're pricks or really decent people. But I wouldn't judge personal worth based on a career or Facebook pics.

mojesius

Saw one at a school reunion, she's still an absolute bitch. Still hangs around with the same crowd from school. Most of her friends are really nice people and I could never fathom why they're friends with her. Maybe she was just horrible to me.

The other one is fat and lives in America.

The other one I bump into now and again. Married with kids. Dunno much else about her.

PCeeeee

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

I've told my young lad since the day he was old enough for it to be relevant to never hit anyone first or hit anyone without being provoked but If someone hits him the first thing he's to do is hit them back.

I understand teachers saying to not react and just tell a teacher if something happens and in an ideal world that would be great but this is the real world and that stuff doesn't work. You have to look out for yourself and stand up for yourself.

I agree with the sentiment but usually if you get the first wallop then you're probably going to lose that fight. Especially if the other fella is used to fighting.

I have no idea what to tell a young fella but the old story about bullies being cowards who'll crumble at resistance isn't true in the way you see on telly. It's not that simple.

olestoepoke

Mad_maxx wrote: »

will tell my son to never hit first but if hit , to hit back twice as hard , if the teachers attempt to throw the book at him , il support him even it means changing schools

I tell my boys the very same thing. If they hit first they are the bully and it will not end well for them but if they hit in self defence then I'm 100% behind them.

markfinn

The worst of them is currently in government.

olestoepoke

PCeeeee wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment but usually if you get the first wallop then you're probably going to lose that fight. Especially if the other fella is used to fighting.

I have no idea what to tell a young fella but the old story about bullies being cowards who'll crumble at resistance isn't true in the way you see on telly. It's not that simple.

Sorry but you're way off here. If you get hit first you most certainly are not going to lose the fight. I find that getting kids into sports works well. There's always a bit of agro on a soccer pitch etc and they learn quick to stand up for themselves. My kids are 9 and 11 and both do Jui jitsu 3 evenings a week for the last 2 years. This is a great sport for both boys and girls and if they can stick it out it bully proofs them.

andekwarhola

PCeeeee wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment but usually if you get the first wallop then you're probably going to lose that fight. Especially if the other fella is used to fighting.

I have no idea what to tell a young fella but the old story about bullies being cowards who'll crumble at resistance isn't true in the way you see on telly. It's not that simple.

I agree. Telling kids that hitting a bully once off is going to stop it often won't end well at all. If you're going to tell your kids that, you should say just keep fighting back as long and often as you possibly can which will probably do far more to deter school bullies long term but to be fair, most kids perfectly understandably won't or can't do that.

PCeeeee

olestoepoke wrote: »

Sorry but you're way off here. If you get hit first you most certainly are not going to lose the fight. I find that getting kids into sports works well. There's always a bit of agro on a soccer pitch etc and they learn quick to stand up for themselves. My kids are 9 and 11 and both do Jui jitsu 3 evenings a week for the last 2 years. This is a great sport for both boys and girls and if they can stick it out it bully proofs them.

If they're trained indeed I'm way off. If they're not then it's very different.

Or at least that has been my own experience. If yours has been otherwise then I happily accept that. And honestly that would be much better.

c.p.w.g.w

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

Mod Snip

No way he was a bully, can barely talk but an OK lad.

Mod Snip That'd be going back a bit

Airyfairy12

The odd time I cross her on the street I turn my head the other way, I cant stand her. I know she is an adult now and probably regrets her behaviour but she left me with life long social anxiety that I will never completely get over. She took years of my childhood, when I should have been happy and carefree I was thinking up ways to commit suicide. This went on from 2nd class in primary to 5th year in secondary, I dont know why we kept being put in the same classes together, she made school a nightmare, it resulted in me dropping out.
As far as I know she's a lunchlady in the local hospital. A friend of a friend knows her brother and often calls to the house, without knowing my connection to her he brought her up saying how she gives him the creeps, said she makes sexual remarks to him, tells him he's looking well and is very forward even though he has no attraction to her and has shown no interest.
Who knows were either of us will be in 5 or 10 years, circumstances change constantly so whats the point in comparing lives to eachothers?

Airyfairy12

markfinn wrote: »

The worst of them is currently in government.

Who?

batman1

My nephew was bullied to the brink of taking his own life by one complete ahole at school. Tortured him in and out of school. Small town Ireland.
Luckily he got through it at 18 and began socialising, joining clubs etc, moved on and now has a great job, wife and young family.
The bully moved to the States with his parents shortly after school.
Fast forward 16 or so years and the bully moved home. My brother was putting his baby into the car seat one day on the street and the bully spotted him and unbelievably started on him again, trying to start a fight, half full of drink/drugs.
My brother diffused the situation and drove away.
Later that week he was out running and met the bully again. He knocked 6 shades of ****e out of him at the side of the road.
You see, one of the club's he joined after his illness was Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Trains religiously.

I was absolutely delighted when he told me.

Sometimes, no matter how long, it's good to get some feeling of vengeance.

Ted_YNWA

Guy, no mentioning of individual names or identifiable content. Some posts have been removed mentioning a certain person

J. Marston

Not secondary but my primary school bully recently got put away for drug offences. Laughed when I heard it.

jackboy

mojesius wrote: »

The other one is fat and lives in America.

😂

cj maxx

I was a (and still am ) a skinny 'weakling'. Though I was a defiant prick. The 1st fella who tried to bully me I beat around the classroom till he ran away. That set a precedent that I wasn't a walkover. No one bothered me really in 1st year. 2nd lad, well , though he would have beat me to a pulp , he was too wary to fight me and by this time I had matured enough that fighting in the alleys didn't appeal to. Think the lad went to London as a brickie. Haven't heard of him in years

EmmetSpiceland

andekwarhola wrote: »

Sounds like a win

Not in the slightest, A. I’d be an “active” member of the PPU. It’s great.

Always looking forward to the annual dinner, heading back to the “alma mater” for a night of food, drink and catching up with old school chums.

Throughout the year we have other “events” too. Such as golfing, table quizzes and a variety of “business” lunches. Not to mention the sporting, particularly rugby, events.

I’d honestly say any past pupils who aren’t “members” are really missing out. Big time.

RandomViewer

I was always a bit erratic wouldnt know when to lie down, can be very insulting, wouldnt be correct , nothing would out of line,bullying me would be more bother than it was worth , was shyte at fighting but the first headbutt usually eased the need to find out, had and still have habit of throwing things which works as a deterrent

Danzy

He became a mod on boards.ie

olestoepoke

batman1 wrote: »

My nephew was bullied to the brink of taking his own life by one complete ahole at school. Tortured him in and out of school. Small town Ireland.
Luckily he got through it at 18 and began socialising, joining clubs etc, moved on and now has a great job, wife and young family.
The bully moved to the States with his parents shortly after school.
Fast forward 16 or so years and the bully moved home. My brother was putting his baby into the car seat one day on the street and the bully spotted him and unbelievably started on him again, trying to start a fight, half full of drink/drugs.
My brother diffused the situation and drove away.
Later that week he was out running and met the bully again. He knocked 6 shades of ****e out of him at the side of the road.
You see, one of the club's he joined after his illness was Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Trains religiously.

I was absolutely delighted when he told me.

Sometimes, no matter how long, it's good to get some feeling of vengeance.

This is great

freshpopcorn

I did have a little issue with a guy in secondary school and I did hit him. I was small and it was seen as a bit of joke.
However if my bullies were girls I don’t think a fella hitting one of them would go down well.

corner of hells

One pox who spent a lot of time bullying younger lads in my school went on to the represent Ireland in the Olympics, is now employed by the company who sponsored him when he was younger , the thing is he's a fcukin' bungalow head , nothing upstairs .Couldn't string a sentence together on a piece of paper.
One of his sidekicks with roughly the same IQ but not an Olympic athlete is still working in a petrol , assistant manager after 35 years pumping petrol.

cj maxx

PCeeeee wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment but usually if you get the first wallop then you're probably going to lose that fight. Especially if the other fella is used to fighting.

I have no idea what to tell a young fella but the old story about bullies being cowards who'll crumble at resistance isn't true in the way you see on telly. It's not that simple.

I know that getting hit 1st is justification for retaliating but bullying can be more than physical. If you have no choice but fight, get in early,fast and hard and get out

munster87

markfinn wrote: »

The worst of them is currently in government.

Was he a big lord of the rings fan?

Necro

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

Guy, no mentioning of individual names or identifiable content. Some posts have been removed mentioning a certain person

Mod:

Ted isn't in the habit of repeating himself folks, any more mentions of individual names or identifiable information about individuals and cards will be issued.

Harry Palmr

Became an international level sportsman for a team, but they were pretty crappy in that era. Lost to most opposition. I trust he became a better person.

Dravokivich

PCeeeee wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment but usually if you get the first wallop then you're probably going to lose that fight. Especially if the other fella is used to fighting.

I have no idea what to tell a young fella but the old story about bullies being cowards who'll crumble at resistance isn't true in the way you see on telly. It's not that simple.

Every single person who bullied me, should have seen it coming becuase I never backed down from a fight. I never started them, but always finished them. Once you've the nerve to back yourself, thats most of the fight right there.

mr_fegelien

In American schools, you'd get in trouble for fighting as they have a zero tolerance approach which punishes the bullied kid from retaliating