How did your bully in secondary school turn out?

monkeysnapper

To say I was bullied by him would be a exaggeration but he was the asshole of the year at being just mean to people and hitting lads.....it would be fair to say he did probably bully a few but not me personally....

But anyway I went to our school reunion 4 years ago (we were all 40) and a few lads were telling him how bad he was and you could see it touched him ...

He asked me was he really that bad and I told him he was , he drove me a few nasty slaps...

I informed him after he had a car accident when he was 20 and was in hospital for 4 months I took his mother to visit him on the 2 hour drive a few times. I stayed in car.

Sometimes your past comes back to haunt you .....

Motivator

I was bullied a bit in school, never really physical and it was the odd bit of name calling and ignoring or exclusion from something which hurt worse than anything. The feeling of being left out of something at any time of your life is horrible but in school it’s crushing.

When I was around 15 or 16 I developed terrible anxiety and I was terribly insecure, I still am to this day, as a result of the anxiety and insecurity I tried to cover it over with humour. There were a couple of lads that were prime for a bit of piss taking. Now, I wouldn’t call it bullying because everyone was fair game but the constant need to be funny around people to mask my own issues became an obsession so I was probably a bollocks to be around sometimes. I think I’m a good person and there was never any malice in what i said, it was all in jest and today would be called “banter” among a group of males. But I can see how it could be described as bullying. There was one guy in particular that everyone gave a hard time to. He was a lovely guy but got a good bit of stick off people. Unfortunately he committed suicide a few years back and I always feel guilty about giving him a bit of stick. Even though he was never excluded from anything, never physically hurt it didn’t it’s acceptable.

WoollyRedHat

Necro wrote: »

Mod:

Ted isn't in the habit of repeating himself folks, any more mentions of individual names or identifiable information about individuals and cards will be issued.

Sorry you just identified yoursel there, please card yourself for consistency purposes.

JupiterKid

I was bullied rather badly in 2nd and 3rd year in secondary school. I was excluded, mocked and pretty isolated in the school yard. And then there was the physical side. Rotten, rotten years. One guy and his sneak sidekick in particular tormented me. Anyway it got to the point where one particularly bad incident saw me end up in A&E of hospital.

My parents found out, all hell broke loose and they threatened to take me out of the school and instigate legal action. The bully was suspended for two weeks and made write a letter of apology to me and my parents. Not long afterwards my mum died suddenly and tragically.

Never got bullied or picked on again in school and to be honest the last two years of school were much better for me.

In my second year of college I was out with mates and in the beer garden of a pub. We were passing around a joint with some other people one of my mates knew vaguely. Turns out one of these guys was the guy who bullied me in school. I recognised him, he didn’t recognise me as my appearance had changed a lot (long hair and a goatee beard). I got talking to him and after a few minutes he realised just who I was - I think he was pretty shocked. He was very apologetic to me and told me he was an asshole for bullying me. I told him he was forgiven.

Closure.


There was a kid who lived a few doors up the road from me in my suburb who was also a couple of years younger than me. He was a very timid and shy child and was picked on a lot by other children in the locality. He went to a different school but I can only imagine that he was badly bullied. At 17 years of age, just before he sat his leaving cert he took his own life. The funeral was utterly heartbreaking.

freshpopcorn

mr_fegelien wrote: »

In American schools, you'd get in trouble for fighting as they have a zero tolerance approach which punishes the bullied kid from retaliating

Irish schools are similar but the trick is not to get caught!

Townton

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Irish schools are similar but the trick is not to get caught!

Or find a place where its not only acceptable but applauded to get one back on them physical wise. I was never really bullied though I do remember in my early school year when one guy started to take a weird interest in me, taking the piss bumping the shoulder, even squaring up. I knew what was going on and thought I needed to put a stopper on this. I was luckily in a school where rugby was the main sport we were both on the first team so one day in training I very deliberately lined him up, and in even what even i would admit was an egregiously late challenge close-lined him and followed in with a knee and a few words for good measure. The coach called me out for the tackle being illegal but the the aggression good and no one saw the knee and the guy never took the slightest interest in me after.

TBH it was the only time i have ever deliberately fouled in such a manner, but it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately the easiest way to sort those kind of people out is to physically challenge them.Saw plenty of instances where others weren't able to do that and used official channels but it never really stopped it one guy left the school because it. Sad stuff.

pauliebdub

My chief tormenter collapsed and died while out jogging a couple of years ago only a few weeks after the birth of his first child. I actually felt bad for him and his family even though he made my life misery. Most of his support cast that I know of are fairly successful career wise some are in Dublin.

josip

One of the lads who used to bully me led a group of about 10 lads from 2 years ahead of me, so I didn't have much of a chance whenever it was entertaining for them to go after me.
That was 30 years ago, I found out last month that he became a guard.

Flickerfusion

It’s weird but, other than a our 4 or 5 people I don’t think I could even remember the names of most of those I went to school with.

I was never a fan of school and made most of my long term friends in college.

Airyfairy12

Mules wrote: »

She dropped out in 5th year and became a prostitute and a heroin addict.

Reminds me of a girl from school that tormented me and my friend and others too no doubt, our first run in with her was during the Summer holidays in my grannys housing estate. I remember her coming over to talk to us and instantly feeling very nervous around her and wanting to get away from her, she had a really bad vibe about her. A few years later her and a group of her mates attacked my friend in the middle of the street, my friend ended up in hospital.
Ive seen her a handful of times as an adult, she was always out of her head on drugs and was prostituting. She was in jail a couple of times and I came across an article about her in the local paper after she was in court for attacking someone. The article mentioned how the judge noted she had a very difficult childhood and had been molested from age 4 - 13. Looking back that poor child was going though hell and was acting out accordingly.
We can blame the bullies all we want but where were the adults that allowed the behaviour to carry on? Maybe if someone had stepped in and took her behaviour seriously her life could have taken a different path and she could have been saved from the horrific abuse she was dealing with.

Calhoun

A heroin addict, with a fairly tragic home life. Some of his family died from it but it hasn't gotten him yet it seems.

dresden8

**** was shot. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

With the amount of people whose bullies were involved in a shooting, we must have a gun crime rate comparable to Honduras.

Das Reich

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote: »

With the amount of people whose bullies were involved in a shooting, we must have a gun crime rate comparable to Honduras.

I am from Brazil and when I said most of the bullies got shot, believe its true. The culture there is different from here, people are vindictive and its just matter of time for a bully to be killed, soon or later they will find someone who thinks be humiliated is worse than stay few years on a jail.

storker

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

The article mentioned how the judge noted she had a very difficult childhood and had been molested from age 4 - 13. Looking back that poor child was going though hell and was acting out accordingly.
We can blame the bullies all we want but where were the adults that allowed the behaviour to carry on? Maybe if someone had stepped in and took her behaviour seriously her life could have taken a different path and she could have been saved from the horrific abuse she was dealing with.

Possibly, and in her role as a victim of abuse I would have great sympathy for her, but in her role as bully I would have none.

Chorcai

22yrs ago I left secondry school, I've never heard or seen any of the people I was in class with, I've met 2 people from same year in that time.
Heard one of the bully boys become the town drunk/scumbag ended up a drunk fell in the river drowned, another died in a high speed chase in the UK.
Glad to see the back of that school and not think of the place for another 22 yrs.

Airyfairy12

storker wrote: »

Possibly, and in her role as a victim of abuse I would have great sympathy for her, but in her role as bully I would have none.

Id agree with that in most cases but in her situation, her head was messed up, all she knew was violence and abuse. As an adult, she has responsibility for her own behaviour but as a child, given the way she'd been brought up and her home situation, who could blame her?

Mad_maxx

Das Reich wrote: »

I am from Brazil and when I said most of the bullies got shot, believe its true. The culture there is different from here, people are vindictive and its just matter of time for a bully to be killed, soon or later they will find someone who thinks be humiliated is worse than stay few years on a jail.

humiliation is worse than jail if it effects someone enough

BeerWolf

A lot of successful people are sociopaths.

Church on Tuesday

Was never really bullied, got the odd smart remark but just gave as good back or otherwise ignored.

No idea what the resident bullies are doing and frankly I don't care; I stopped caring about school and social life around it in general when I walked out the gates for the last time in 2005.

368100

Was bullied by a few in secondary school, but one particular guy was one of the ringleaders....really popular guy in school.

I ran into him in pub a while ago and we got talking, told me that he had so much respect for me now as I've turned out quite successful in career etc and he hasn't been.

He apologised profusely to the point there were tears in his eyes, mostly because his own child is being bullied now at school and they are having difficulty stopping it, so he now see the full impact of what bullying does.

For me, it's made me hard as nails. I used to get walked over but I don't let anyone away with that these days....partly why I've been as successful as I have been.....all sort of ironic.

Feisar

Any bullies here?

As an adult did you see the error of your ways?
Was it yer own issues that caused it?
Were/are you just a bad’un?

voldejoie

She had 4 (yes, four) kids before turning 20, and I think now has a total of 7. Gas altogether.

Seamai

Half the guys were afraid of this one in my year, she was a grandmother at 33, saw her a few years back, she looked at least 20 years older than what she was.

Chorcai

voldejoie wrote: »

She had 4 (yes, four) kids before turning 20, and I think now has a total of 7. Gas altogether.

Someone needs to tell her its a vagina not a clown car

PerryB78

Both bullied and bullier in primary school, chief bullier was smart and bigger but is now a hollowed out shell of a guy after years of heroin and alcohol abuse. Guy I and others bullied is now a successful medic but was slow and ponderous back in the day which led to a few of us getting a few laughs at him. To be honest I didn't realise it was bullying at the time and i just needed someone to give me a clip round the ear and make me see what i was doing was wrong, have met him in some social settings since then and apologised for being an a-hole and being the gentleman he is he understood. Worst of all for me was a job I had from the age of 20 to 21, bullier was 4/5 years older and mr popular and funny or so he thought. Slagged everyone but couldn't take anything back in return, heard he beat his lovely wife around a hotel room one night so kinda summed him up for me. It affected me in that the next job I had I was dreading meeting another like him, luckily there was none but it made me look out for similar situations since then. Have had to step in over the years and nip things in the bud as I know how terrible they can be

Steve012

bully the bullies. Take the main on an hope you don't get too much of the **** kicked out of you. it worked when I was a young kido

Antares35

Thoroughly average from what I can tell. Works on some makeup counter somewhere.

FanadMan

Was never really bullied in secondary school. Was one guy that used to take the piss out of me in front of people, just to make himself look good. He's dead now.

Wasn't much bullying in primary......just the usual hard men Only time I had a problem, punched the lad in the gob and he fell over crying and that was the end of that.

The teachers on the other hand - some of them were complete bullies.

coffeepls

The local bully when I was a kid ended up dead in his late teens. Instantly killed by a banned driver behind the wheel of a truck smashed into him on his motorbike.
He was a bully - but nobody deserves to have their life cut short like that. He’s been dead over 30 years now. His family never got over it.

knucklehead6

batman1 wrote: »

My nephew was bullied to the brink of taking his own life by one complete ahole at school. Tortured him in and out of school. Small town Ireland.
Luckily he got through it at 18 and began socialising, joining clubs etc, moved on and now has a great job, wife and young family.
The bully moved to the States with his parents shortly after school.
Fast forward 16 or so years and the bully moved home. My brother was putting his baby into the car seat one day on the street and the bully spotted him and unbelievably started on him again, trying to start a fight, half full of drink/drugs.
My brother diffused the situation and drove away.
Later that week he was out running and met the bully again. He knocked 6 shades of ****e out of him at the side of the road.
You see, one of the club's he joined after his illness was Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Trains religiously.

I was absolutely delighted when he told me.

Sometimes, no matter how long, it's good to get some feeling of vengeance.

So your brother beat up his kids tormentor 16 years after the bullying?

Or is it that your brother beat up his nephews tormentor?
Why would the lad start on your brother again?

I’m confused. Or maybe it’s just a story.

CoBo55

A little skinny druggie weasel living at home with his mammy.

Brock Turnpike

He died in a car crash while racing against his mate.

lapua20grain

In prison for murder

Bobblehats

He always turned out in casual sportswear. Like some perpetual jogger

Lundstram

I was never bullied but there was this bully in primary school, he'd pick on the small lads and the disabled kid in class. A nasty piece of work. Massive druggie now, he had his ear cut off a few years ago due to a drug debt, big news at the time. He's in and out of prison these days for robbing shops to feed his habit.

His Mam died a few years ago at 51, a lovely woman, his Dad is an even nicer man, an army guy all his life. I feel so bad for both of them because it's not like the little scumbag was dragged up, his parents were good hard working people.

Has a kid now too which is even sadder.

bocaman

One is a barman with a massive chip on his shoulder. Another became a junkie.

beerguts

Don't recall any serious bullying during my time at school but there was plenty of fighting going on but it never got too serious.

In my current work I have noticed the first stages of a woman getting bullied. This woman is pretty hopeless at her role and both her supervisor and a co-worker who are very good friends are really belittling her at present. I work in another department but in the same general area of an open plan office and it is getting to the stage of being quite nasty, the two bullies (women) are questioning her work constantly, whispering not so discretely about how poor she is and they both now have some in-jokes that are obviously aimed at her but I am at a loss what they actually mean. The supervisor only seems to interact with her now only when really necessary while I would say that the other co-worker is the real driver of it and gets some sh*t and giggles from it.
They are trying now to draw the rest of us in to it by name dropping her into conversations pointing out her flaws to us constantly so that we would take their side.
I know some here would say that I should pull them up on this but to be honest I don't want to create aggro with myself and the two gob****es who think this is funny. I only want to work and feck of home at the end of the day.

Redneck Reject1971

My high school bully ended up dead from the local cartel he tried to rob.

chrissb8

beerguts wrote: »

Don't recall any serious bullying during my time at school but there was plenty of fighting going on but it never got too serious.

In my current work I have noticed the first stages of a woman getting bullied. This woman is pretty hopeless at her role and both her supervisor and a co-worker who are very good friends are really belittling her at present. I work in another department but in the same general area of an open plan office and it is getting to the stage of being quite nasty, the two bullies (women) are questioning her work constantly, whispering not so discretely about how poor she is and they both now have some in-jokes that are obviously aimed at her but I am at a loss what they actually mean. The supervisor only seems to interact with her now only when really necessary while I would say that the other co-worker is the real driver of it and gets some sh*t and giggles from it.
They are trying now to draw the rest of us in to it by name dropping her into conversations pointing out her flaws to us constantly so that we would take their side.
I know some here would say that I should pull them up on this but to be honest I don't want to create aggro with myself and the two gob****es who think this is funny. I only want to work and feck of home at the end of the day.

Be honest with yourself here. You're venting on here because you feel guilty that you're witness to this and doing nothing about it. You want peace but it's irking you to see someone get treated in the way said person has.

Don't create aggro, just remind them it's a professional environment and if they could refrain from acting the opposite of that.

Or, better yet, tell them to actually act professionally and pull up the girl herself and give some constructive feedback and a review on performance.

Both suggestions can be done if you just look them in the eye and state what your observing and your feelings in relation to it. If anything it will make them more self aware or they take offence.

If it's the latter just remind yourself that they're being sad losers who want to have something to bond over like the assassination of the character of someone in order to feel good.

Rubberchikken

I've never been bullied. Never bullied anyone either.
Maybe I was lucky, maybe I'm just someone that people leave be.

I do know that I don't take crap from anyone.

debok

Under my patio

beerguts

chrissb8 wrote: »

Be honest with yourself here. You're venting on here because you feel guilty that you're witness to this and doing nothing about it. You want peace but it's irking you to see someone get treated in the way said person has.

Don't create aggro, just remind them it's a professional environment and if they could refrain from acting the opposite of that.

Or, better yet, tell them to actually act professionally and pull up the girl herself and give some constructive feedback and a review on performance.

Both suggestions can be done if you just look them in the eye and state what your observing and your feelings in relation to it. If anything it will make them more self aware or they take offence.

If it's the latter just remind yourself that they're being sad losers who want to have something to bond over like the assassination of the character of someone in order to feel good.

Very PC answer there buddy. These two are too far gone down this path for me to stop them like a white knight. This only stops if the woman been bullied stands up for herself and calls them out, there is no point in me getting evolved or giving advice to the woman as I know she will latch on to me for support that I don't have the energy for. The only thing that irritates me is that I can see other clowns around me joining in like sharks

Risingshadoo

voldejoie wrote: »

She had 4 (yes, four) kids before turning 20, and I think now has a total of 7. Gas altogether.

She'd probably have gas after all them children.

PARlance

FanadMan wrote: »

Was never really bullied in secondary school. Was one guy that used to take the piss out of me in front of people, just to make himself look good. He's dead now.

A little OTT but fair enough.

Truthvader

beerguts wrote: »

Very PC answer there buddy. These two are too far gone down this path for me to stop them like a white knight. This only stops if the woman been bullied stands up for herself and calls them out, there is no point in me getting evolved or giving advice to the woman as I know she will latch on to me for support that I don't have the energy for. The only thing that irritates me is that I can see other clowns around me joining in like sharks

Grow a pair FFS. If you tolerate this then you're next. So man up and call them out clearly and in front of as many people as possible. Cowardice is as reprehensible as bullying

lapua20grain

beerguts wrote: »

Very PC answer there buddy. These two are too far gone down this path for me to stop them like a white knight. This only stops if the woman been bullied stands up for herself and calls them out, there is no point in me getting evolved or giving advice to the woman as I know she will latch on to me for support that I don't have the energy for. The only thing that irritates me is that I can see other clowns around me joining in like sharks

In all fairness you are complicit in all of this if you don't inform your HR department about it. Would you like for this to happen to your wife, girlfriend, sister or mother? Surely there is a whistle-blower policy in your company that means that you can report this anonymously. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I knowingly let it continue.

lawred2

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I was bullied for my autism and had to switch schools. Also ended up bullied there.

The funny thing is that the bullies were smart and posh. They were racist too.

As you can expect, they turned out better than me.

homeless heroin addict

that's not a joke

decent family too - sad story as as much as he was a knob in school - don't think he was the worst person ever

chrissb8

beerguts wrote: »

Very PC answer there buddy. These two are too far gone down this path for me to stop them like a white knight. This only stops if the woman been bullied stands up for herself and calls them out, there is no point in me getting evolved or giving advice to the woman as I know she will latch on to me for support that I don't have the energy for. The only thing that irritates me is that I can see other clowns around me joining in like sharks

Generally, offices are supposed to be very PC places so I get where you think I'm going, thinking it all can be solved all nicey nice is delusional.

It's not, eliminate any emotion, collect your thoughts make a cogent argument and say it as it is to perpetrators.

You work there, it is affecting your ability to work as it's turning the office atmosphere into that of a school classroom.

Just do it anonymously even, it's not hard.

funkey_monkey

beerguts wrote: »

Don't recall any serious bullying during my time at school but there was plenty of fighting going on but it never got too serious.

In my current work I have noticed the first stages of a woman getting bullied. This woman is pretty hopeless at her role and both her supervisor and a co-worker who are very good friends are really belittling her at present. I work in another department but in the same general area of an open plan office and it is getting to the stage of being quite nasty, the two bullies (women) are questioning her work constantly, whispering not so discretely about how poor she is and they both now have some in-jokes that are obviously aimed at her but I am at a loss what they actually mean. The supervisor only seems to interact with her now only when really necessary while I would say that the other co-worker is the real driver of it and gets some sh*t and giggles from it.
They are trying now to draw the rest of us in to it by name dropping her into conversations pointing out her flaws to us constantly so that we would take their side.
I know some here would say that I should pull them up on this but to be honest I don't want to create aggro with myself and the two gob****es who think this is funny. I only want to work and feck of home at the end of the day.

Grow a pair. You're not a child any longer.