How did your bully in secondary school turn out?

c.p.w.g.w

lawred2 wrote: »

homeless heroin addict

that's not a joke

decent family too - sad story as as much as he was a knob in school - don't think he was the worst person ever

Karma's a bitch

JupiterKid

Just thinking back, yes there was the verbal and physical bullying I endured in secondary school (2nd and 3rd year) - which abruptly ended when the chief bully was suspended for a ”prank” which put me in A&E. Picked on at that time too by a few other guys who gravitated towards the main bully, and all because I was very skinny and didn’t take to being slagged.

Any perceived difference and it will be mocked and attacked by a bully. On another web-based forum, there was a thread on bullying in school and so many posters who were bullied - both male and female - seem to have had it worst in the early years of secondary school also.

As I mentioned in my previous post here, I ended up meeting the bully a few years later when I was in college (which were wonderful years ) and he profusely apologised to me.

But there was this one guy who started my secondary school in 5th year, was friendly with a guy I was also friends with, really disliked me (was always telling my friend to drop me) and taunted me - at that point I ignored the idiot as best I could. He was more of annoyance than a bully in any sense of the word. He was also pretty nasty to some other guys verbally. Incredibly full of himself and completely lacking in any sense of humility or empathy. He loved to put other people down. At the 10 year school reunion, he had not changed one iota. Nasty piece of work.

I think he would be the perfect definition of what would be termed these days as a narcissist. Last I heard - and this was a good while back - he had carved out a pretty successful career as a medical consultant.

Stan27

2 come to mind.

Funny thing was there was no home trouble, both came from wealthy and respected families.

I'm a guy who generally forgives people easily enough/ people makes mistakes etc, but those 2 were just pure ar**holes.

Connacht15

In my middle class secondary school in Galway City, i was quite severely bullied for the first 3 years because I was a kid from a working class background in the A class which was almost exclusively middle class!
Oddly the kids who did the bulk of bullying in my class towards me were not those from Taylor's Hill or Knocknacarra or Salthill.
They were the sprogz who were from the next level up from me socially.
In pre leaving cert year I took commerce subjects which the posh kidz didn't do and the bullying stopped.
Mind you there was a very strong ethos at the time in the school (if I can name it - The Bish) of teachers bullying students and then the students bullying each other!

Classist based bullying is very much alive and well in Irish Schools as my niece who was one of a small number of kids from working class backgrounds in another very middle class school in Galway City was bullied to such an extent she was forced out before she could do her LC, a few years ago and nothing was done about it as that school had an incompetent principal obsessed with demanding money for the school building fund which would ultimately benefit the sprogz of millionaires only!

BTW at our 25th year class reunion - none of the bullies turned up and of the kids who were substantially bullied that I know of, only 1 turned up - me!

Connacht15

TBH I don't think bullies ever get their just desserts!
And it's an issue that isn't being tackled in Irish Schools!
There's to mymind only one way to handle - expel and place those AHs in a remedial school together and inculcate into the public consciousness that the greatest social shame is to end up in one of them!

Portlawslim

Two lads used to gang up on me while I was in Primary, I was lucky enough to have 2 big brothers in school who'd keep an eye out for me. They still manged to get in a few every now and again. Both of them are dead now (drink and drugs)

Another lad while in 2nd level got kept back and ended up in my class, immediately started throwing his weight around thinking he was the big fella. I'd had enough of it so called him out on it. I was a fairly skinny 15 year and a couple of my mates were a lot bigger but I'd reached breaking point with him. Met behind the gym and started slugging it out as only 15yr olds can do with an audience of class mate who all wanted to see him get his comeuppance. Fight ended in a draw and he settled into the class with no more bother out of him.

Another lad in primary was a right ars*hole to quite a few of us in the class, fast forward to me working in a local bar and he applied for a job. The manager asked if I knew anything about him, I told him not to hire him as he was only trouble. Fast forward 20 years and I was working with his uncle who told me the lads father was a heavy drinker and would regularly get home from the pub and kick the wife and kids out of the house and they'd have to walk the streets until he was asleep before they could go back in, so he had it tough and took it out on his class mates. Made me feel bad for stopping him getting the job.

wouldnt say this fella bullied me like others, he was just rude and obnoxious to me but he was a pain to others, he was the year above me and mates in secondary school, smallest guy around with a chip on his shoulder, thinking he was funny with smart remarks and insults/banter...he kept hanging around us as most in his year (we knew a few others from his year) said he was a pain to deal with, thinking he was funny by being as obnoxious as possible but he was a rude twat and one friend in our gang liked him for some odd reason....he ended up in same college class as me as he had to repeat a year...he changed and was grand....until the graduation ball where he turned back into the same childish arsehole and trying to insult me like he did in secondary school,,, he's now about hitting 30, still working retail, 2 days a week like he was in college (nothing wrong with that tbf)...

Another lad, he was the quintessential daddy's boy, a rich kid, who daddy couldn't believe his son was was an asshole, he roared bizarre abuse at me (and others) when i/others walked to the shop as he hung out with his gang of 4 outside as i wouldn't hang out with him....my mother caught him doing this & she knew his mother - a friend with her..... she went to father and mother, the father tried to savage my mother about it until she told him to feck off....another parent whose child was in his gang got the same abuse and she tried to talk to the parents/ and the dad savaged her...The bully tried it on with another of his gang who then put him in his place and beat him up...and fell out with the gang who ended up being good mates with me in the end, but i never held it against them as it was just him and they told him to stop most days when i went past them....bully now is on his 5th attempt at college and i used to work retail, when he came in and i get the vibe he has issues with alcohol as he comes in usually worse for wear

division of the world into bullies/bullied is fairly nonsensical and not at all how id observe it

for instance, some people are absolutely allergic to any kind of humour at all. stolid stoic country lads. take very badly to any chat at all and reckon that a chatty fella needs his head knocked off once theyve had a few pints because he mightve been taking the p1ss out of them one time in metalwork.

lots of posts itt and in other such threads have that vibe off them. id be minded to call those lads bullies tbh.

in general, people's own version of when they were bullied is either grossly inflated or very one-eyed. but what can you do, throwing thirty or sixty kids in a room together for several hours a day for twelve years isnt ideal circumstances for anyone to get along.

sustained victimisation is pretty rare, ppl of different personality types bumping up against each other is extremely common.

there's a reason one is treated very differently than the other in all serious contexts.

i had the odd scrap as a youngefella but nothing major and not consistently or anything. moved around a good bit so the odd time got the new boy routine but had a mouth on me too so id never have said i was the innocent victim of too much.

sometimes wonder if that same mouth mightnt have led some kids to think i was their big bully, wouldnt ever have been my intent but as i say different types take different things very differently.

all part of growing up innit

Stateofyou

chrissb8 wrote: »

Be honest with yourself here. You're venting on here because you feel guilty that you're witness to this and doing nothing about it. You want peace but it's irking you to see someone get treated in the way said person has.

Don't create aggro, just remind them it's a professional environment and if they could refrain from acting the opposite of that.

Or, better yet, tell them to actually act professionally and pull up the girl herself and give some constructive feedback and a review on performance.

Both suggestions can be done if you just look them in the eye and state what your observing and your feelings in relation to it. If anything it will make them more self aware or they take offence.

If it's the latter just remind yourself that they're being sad losers who want to have something to bond over like the assassination of the character of someone in order to feel good.

One step further: the employer has a duty under Irish law to reasonably take care/protect their employees and bullying falls under that. That employee has rights here and should address that via complaint with their employer ( is there a Dignity at Work policy you might help point that person towards?) Under Irish law employees actually also have the duty to report things like this (duty of care of yourself and others). If there's a dignity at work policy, this language will probably be in it. Both of you would have rights to not be victimised after reporting, also.

If your employer does not handle this properly, the employee may claim for constructive dismissal and/or occupational stress injury. There are strong employment laws here in Ireland and sh!t like this should not be tolerated.

Stateofyou

Stateofyou wrote: »

One step further: the employer has a duty under Irish law to reasonably take care/protect their employees and bullying falls under that. That employee has rights here and should address that via complaint with their employer ( is there a Dignity at Work policy you might help point that person towards?) Under Irish law employees actually also have the duty to report things like this (duty of care of yourself and others). If there's a dignity at work policy, this language will probably be in it. Both of you would have rights to not be victimised after reporting, also.

If your employer does not handle this properly, the employee may claim for constructive dismissal and/or occupational stress injury. There are strong employment laws here in Ireland and sh!t like this should not be tolerated.

He (or she) could report it anonymously. That's what I would do, and that's all I would do. If you publicly do it, the bullied person could say nothing was happening and turn it on you being paranoid. This happens quite often, especially when one of the bullies is a supervisor.

On the other hand if the bullied woman takes a HR case I would absolutely speak in her favour.

Many companies would rather just pay off the employee and say she "wasn't a team player".

There's an added thing here is that the person being bullied is bad at her job. She probably makes other people's work difficult by her poor performance.

lapua20grain

[Deleted User] wrote: »

He (or she) could report it anonymously. That's what I would do, and that's all I would do. If you publicly do it, the bullied person could say nothing was happening and turn it on you being paranoid. This happens quite often, especially when one of the bullies is a supervisor.

On the other hand if the bullied woman takes a HR case I would absolutely speak in her favour.

Many companies would rather just pay off the employee and say she "wasn't a team player".

There's an added thing here is that the person being bullied is bad at her job. She probably makes other people's work difficult by her poor performance.

If the person is bad at their job they can be performance managed and get feedback to help them not bullied for it, I have known people that have committed suicide because of this type of shyte, this behavior can't be normalised. these bullies need to be managed and dismissed if it can be proven that they are indeed bullying this person.

beerguts

Guys, just to give you more of an insight into the bullying i described unfolding in my workplace. The place does have a HR department but there isn't any procedures and the HR generalist is almost a PA for the site director. There was other cases of bullying before my time there that from what I gather were either ignored or just given lip service to with the same issue happening time and time again. So even if I was inclined to make this formal I don't see what I could achieve rather than waste my time.

Yes the woman is pretty bad at her role and this is where the bullying has its roots in. As you would guess it has escalated over time with the other two taking out their frustration on her and she would have a passive nature that they prey on. She has some quirks that are irritating but to be honest they don't bother me and I can easily ignore them. The problem is that they don't seem able too and are starting to drag others into it around them. Yeah I could pipe up with the moral high-ground but of the 14 people in the open plan 11 are women and I am not which plays into this as no woman will listen to a man on this and I would be basically told to shut the duck up.
Some might consider this cowardly and as some clown told me to grow a pair in an above post, fair enough. But I have to work here and I genuinely don't want the hassle. If I would talk to the woman getting this ****e I would tell her that maybe she should look for another job as I don't think the situation is going to improve for her but I doubt she would take that advice as she is on reasonable money AFAIK and there aren't that many roles in this area that would match what she is on

beerguts

beerguts wrote: »

Guys, just to give you more of an insight into the bullying i described unfolding in my workplace. The place does have a HR department but there isn't any procedures and the HR generalist is almost a PA for the site director. There was other cases of bullying before my time there that from what I gather were either ignored or just given lip service to with the same issue happening time and time again. So even if I was inclined to make this formal I don't see what I could achieve rather than waste my time.

Yes the woman is pretty bad at her role and this is where the bullying has its roots in. As you would guess it has escalated over time with the other two taking out their frustration on her and she would have a passive nature that they prey on. She has some quirks that are irritating but to be honest they don't bother me and I can easily ignore them. The problem is that they don't seem able too and are starting to drag others into it around them. Yeah I could pipe up with the moral high-ground but of the 14 people in the open plan 11 are women and I am not which plays into this as no woman will listen to a man on this and I would be basically told to shut the duck up.
Some might consider this cowardly and as some clown told me to grow a pair in an above post, fair enough. But I have to work here and I genuinely don't want the hassle. If I would talk to the woman getting this ****e I would tell her that maybe she should look for another job as I don't think the situation is going to improve for her but I doubt she would take that advice as she is on reasonable money AFAIK and there aren't that many roles in this area that would match what she is on

Call them out on it?..

josip

beerguts wrote: »

Guys, just to give you more of an insight into the bullying i described unfolding in my workplace. The place does have a HR department but there isn't any procedures and the HR generalist is almost a PA for the site director. There was other cases of bullying before my time there that from what I gather were either ignored or just given lip service to with the same issue happening time and time again. So even if I was inclined to make this formal I don't see what I could achieve rather than waste my time.

Yes the woman is pretty bad at her role and this is where the bullying has its roots in. As you would guess it has escalated over time with the other two taking out their frustration on her and she would have a passive nature that they prey on. She has some quirks that are irritating but to be honest they don't bother me and I can easily ignore them. The problem is that they don't seem able too and are starting to drag others into it around them. Yeah I could pipe up with the moral high-ground but of the 14 people in the open plan 11 are women and I am not which plays into this as no woman will listen to a man on this and I would be basically told to shut the duck up.
Some might consider this cowardly and as some clown told me to grow a pair in an above post, fair enough. But I have to work here and I genuinely don't want the hassle. If I would talk to the woman getting this ****e I would tell her that maybe she should look for another job as I don't think the situation is going to improve for her but I doubt she would take that advice as she is on reasonable money AFAIK and there aren't that many roles in this area that would match what she is on

Well considering all what you've said above, you could tell the woman being bullied that you don't like/agree with what's going on and that if she ever wants to talk to you about it, you'll be happy to listen as a friend.

dresden8

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote: »

With the amount of people whose bullies were involved in a shooting, we must have a gun crime rate comparable to Honduras.

Good sir, are you implying that I am lying?

Yurt2

A guy who gave me a hard time for a while in secondary school pulled up beside me at a urinal in a pub a few years back. Didn't cop who we was until he said 'I'm sorry about what happened in school.' I clicked who he was and I said it's ok, we were just kids.

I respected him a lot for even saying it, and I think he felt better too. All good.

Teenage years are hard, nobody knows quite who they are and a lot of kids are carrying crap from their home lives into school and acting out.

The best thing one can do if you want to end bullying is to raise your kid to be emotionally smart, empathetic; give them confidence and self-esteem. Otherwise they are primed to be a bully or a victim of one.

What's baffling to me is when some bullies never evolve and bring their maladaptive behaviour well into adulthood without giving a thought to other people.

Sam Quentin

Bullys are cool!?
Unless they're bullying you.

Lollipops23

I just looked her up there- I wouldn't say I was 'bullied' in secondary school, more she was a nasty piece of work who knew she was not destined for greatness.

She's doing ok, seems to be operating an instagram hair stylist page and has a bunch of kids.

Hoop66

I met a guy who had bullied me at school, good few years later on a tube train in London. I was no longer the scared little boy just arrived at boarding school, I was a 6'3" crusty. Went up to him and asked if he was who I thought he was, he said yes. Pretended not to remember me, but remembered all the other people I mentioned.

Not ashamed to say I took pleasure in his discomfort.

seamus

Lollipops23 wrote: »

I wouldn't say I was 'bullied' in secondary school, more she was a nasty piece of work who knew she was not destined for greatness.

Same here, there were a few guys who would have taken pleasure in being generally nasty to some others to pretend they're some kind of hard man.

I don't even remember their names, one of them committed suicide 3 months after leaving school, so he no doubt had a lot of **** going on.

The only proper "bully" who had been in our school got expelled in second year for putting another student in hospital.

Looked him up on facebook there, seems to have kept out of prison but hasn't set the world alight either. Someone can do a lot of copping on between 14 and 25 I suppose.

w/s/p/c/

Lad in my year wasn't a bully, but considered to be destined for a career as "full time mad b*stard".

Used to turn up to school with naggins in his bag, he had a kid aged 15/16. Would come into school on Monday with crazy stories from his weekend.

Seen him for the first time in years (about 10 years ago at this stage) and he looked terrible, bloated, glazed look in his eye, he was collecting his other kids from school, was definitely on something.

Found out a couple of years after that, he died suddenly in his sleep, only turned 30. Sad ending!

_Brian

Not my bully as such but one guy that always threw his weight around and couldn’t be fully controlled ended up doing 12 years in the joy for man slaughter. I think he’s some sort of new age hippie councillor now.

A guy who used to sit behind me in a few classes would be showing off allot and constantly kicking my chair and throwing paper at us, I ended up thumping him in the face one day when he went too far. He died in Spain jumping between two six floor balconies full of drink and drugs. Oddly his cousin fell of a balcony in Spain and died too.

the purple tin

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

I know one went to jail as a result of violence and another crossed me in later life.

I would suspect most as adults now look back in shame at that period of time.

You would be suprised, I met a bully of mine from primary school in later life one night and he had twisted it in his head so we were great friends and everything was just a bit of craic.
Another girl from secondary school used to love calling me names in front of people etc, and I met her yeras later she thought we were friends too and we used to hang around together


I'm not sure if that is a common thing with grown up bullies.
Maybe they don't want to admit to themselves what little feckers they were, so they convince themselves that they were just messing and it was all in good fun.

nthclare

Strung out on heroin somewhere in London I'm told, and if I seen him leaning towards the Thames I'd kick the bastard in. I remember he threatened to stab a guard and terrorised people in the town I grew up in.

He was run out of the place in the mid 90's if he comes back he's in big trouble..

mr.anonymous

I think I had two bullies, especially in 2nd and 3rd year.

The lad was obnoxious, a complete wannabe thug, aggressive and delinquent. Even though I think he did substantial damage to my self-esteem, and I regret not just going to the school staff about it, I was also aware that he was adopted; it helps explain why he was like that. He was capable in academic terms but certainly not interested. I wouldn't wish him any misfortune, but neither would I be surprised if he encountered it.

The girl was two faced yet admired, gorgeous and intelligent. Hearing through a friend that she had talked about and ridiculed me behind my back was devastating - not so much what she said but the fact that people would do that to me; a horrible realisation for a sensitive 15 year old. Now she is a PhD candidate, former Rose of Tralee participant and seems to have a big social media presence. Living with her mother, stepdad and their young children, probably made her a high-achieving validation junkie.

As much as I try not to think about them or that time in my life, they certainly made a lonely and difficult period more anxious and isolating. If I'm bitter about anything it's the long shadow that my secondary school experience cast over my college years.

mrslancaster

mr.anonymous wrote: »

.....The lad was obnoxious, a complete wannabe thug, aggressive and delinquent. Even though I think he did substantial damage to my self-esteem, and I regret not just going to the school staff about it, I was also aware that he was adopted; it helps explain why he was like that....

sorry to hear you were bullied but what on earth do you mean by that? The fact that someone was adopted turned him into a bully?

Marty Xavier

I was bullied for a few months in 1st year, harmless enough, lunch money a few belts by a 2nd year and his mate.
Lad went on to win an All Ireland senior hurling medal and would be a very well known figure in the county. We get on grand now, he grew out of it but a bit of a dick all the same.

helimachoptor

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

I was bullied (nothing serious) when I was about 10/11. One day while walking to the school canteen, I punched him in the face. He more or less bullied everyone in the class, so everyone was happy when they heard the news. He didn't bully me again after that. Violence does work sometimes.

Yeah, I had a guy (who'd been kept back a year) steal my drink everyday for weeks. the bottle ended up bag in my bag empty or in lots of cases he'd just loosen it so it leaked all over my bag. I knew it was him cos he kept making smart comments but had no proof.

Ended up catching him mid act one day and he threw the bottle at me.
Picked up my school chair by the legs and smashed him in the face with with the back support.
Never did it again, and i still chuckle about this, the principal said "next time use your fists"

I was probably 9 years old, so this was around 1990. different times.

mr.anonymous

mrslancaster wrote: »

sorry to hear you were bullied but what on earth do you mean by that? The fact that someone was adopted turned him into a bully?

I mean that being a teenager was difficult for him and perhaps made more difficult by learning he was adopted and dealing with that. I always assumed the negative feelings he had about it were partly taken out on me. It helped explain the bullying behaviour in my mind, even though I obviously don't know his situation fully.

Didn’t ‘bully’ me as such, but said vicious things that I still remember.

He went on to be an inter county footballer and is now a prominent tweeter/pundit. So did well for himself, basically.

ChikiChiki

Strumms wrote: »

What the fûck is it with Irish schools and letting away the most lazy and useless and aggressive bullying twats with anything and everything, because they play and are good at GAA ?

I was friends with a guy right through secondary school who was representing the Irish soccer team at underage level, trials with Manchester United, Arsenal, Wolves, Coventry City and caps including Irish U16s then U18s team... think he may have ended up on Birmingham City’s books for a while after school without ever troubling the first 11 but he was a likable, friendly, easy going, well behaved guy. He was NOT academic but it wasn’t for the want of effort on his part, he was a tryer... if he got a shît mark in an exam the form teacher (a dyed in the wool GAA guy, whose son had made a couple of Dublin league panels) would belittle the fûck out of him in front of everyone, “yes and Sean you’d be better off quitting dreaming of Wembley and focus more on scoring an exam score.”

Same prick would probably be bragging now if had got straight D’s and a couple of fails but won an all Ireland medal... “ we set him up for that success, gave him his grounding “

Not just schools it happens before the courts too. Diarmuid Connolly is just one of many examples. "A good GAA family" often quoted.

I am involved in GAA and have had family members play at a high level but always found it bizarre the adoration it brings with it especially when up against authority figures, getting jobs or even seeking finance off the banks.

partyguinness

I was never bullied. Got name called and teased a few times with a word play on my first name but nothing major- TBH I gave it back plenty.

Anyone who ever gave me **** got a swift punch in the nose- that always worked to nip anything in the bud. I saw some loads take dogs abuse but never do anything. It was pathetic.

A good slap in the jaw- even if you lose the fight I guarantee they will stop bullying you.

Sheridan81

Never really bullied but two lads had it in for me a little. One of them I liked a bit and he sort of respected me sometimes too. He killed himself in his teens. The other is a depressed, plain person with few friends and of seemingly no standing or import in his community. I'm certain that I've had a much less miserable life than both of them. Generally, I think bullies are just miserable people lacking in intelligence.

Mad_maxx

partyguinness wrote: »

I was never bullied. Got name called and teased a few times with a word play on my first name but nothing major- TBH I gave it back plenty.

Anyone who ever gave me **** got a swift punch in the nose- that always worked to nip anything in the bud. I saw some loads take dogs abuse but never do anything. It was pathetic.

A good slap in the jaw- even if you lose the fight I guarantee they will stop bullying you.

no shame in loosing a fight , always someone stronger or whatever , the lesson is to stand your ground , that way you maintain dignity

Mad_maxx

Sheridan81 wrote: »

Never really bullied but two lads had it in for me a little. One of them I liked a bit and he sort of respected me sometimes too. He killed himself in his teens. The other is a depressed, plain person with few friends and of seemingly no standing or import in his community. I'm certain that I've had a much less miserable life than both of them. Generally, I think bullies are just miserable people lacking in intelligence.

no , they are just people with a cruel nature , plenty of highly intelligent bullies who arent in the least bit miserable

whisky_galore

Don't know, couldn't care less.

ToxicPaddy

Left there over 20 years ago only go home to visit my family there and rarely socialise out on the town when there. So really have no clue.

Not something I give much thought to either. I've moved on so why bother.

I know one of the guys who attacked me with a bunch of guys when I was in my mid teens is still around and still friendly with my brother but I never see him and know nothing about him.

Higgins5473

ToxicPaddy wrote: »

Left there over 20 years ago only go home to visit my family there and rarely socialise out on the town when there. So really have no clue.

Not something I give much thought to either. I've moved on so why bother.

I know one of the guys who attacked me with a bunch of guys when I was in my mid teens is still around and still friendly with my brother but I never see him and know nothing about him.

did you check the title of the thread and the question?

SharpshooterTom

My Dad (now deceased) grew up on the Louth/South Armagh border.

He was bullied badly at his local primary school in the 60's, tormented by a bigger kid although he didn't go to the same secondary school so thankfully got away from him and made his teenage years a bit easier.

His bully later joined the South Armagh PIRA brigade in the mid 70's.

Was executed by the SAS in 1977 following a tip off.

SlowMotion321

there were a couple, bullied me because i wouldn't fight, eventually i had enough and showed them the martial arts i knew and knocked them on their asses met one awhile ago when i got into his taxi, still a complete a**hole!

Hangdogroad

corsav6 wrote: »

I know 1 lad that used to bully a fair amount of people in school. He was good at GAA so it was never dealt with by the school. Went on to play for his county and now he's a politician. He's still a prick.

Meath?

Hotblack Desiato

One of 'em was never the sharpest pencil in the drawer to say the least.
Became a heroin addict, got caught holding somoene else's rather large stash and got a ten-stretch in the Joy in the 90s. Haven't heard anything since (and he has a name unique on Google, I just can't be arsed) but chances are he's dead now. Good riddance, a waste of sperm and eggs.

There were a few other somewhat more clever cúnts, who I expect have done reasonably well for themselves, the ****. The school positively encouraged what they got up to, it wasn't physical, it was psychological. I've been called a "queer" more times than many gay men. In the end it was water off a duck's back, I knew what I was and didn't let them define me and I regarded it as jealousy. I was the only one in my sixth year class to get a place on a degree course so fúck them.

About five years ago I met one of the low-level primary ones in the shopping centre. I so wanted to punch the prick's lights out, but my wife was with me, so I just nodded and went yeah, ok, yeah. He stole my Fisher-Price park ranger figure, the prick :mad:

Once I had a decent job and a few quid behind me I moved out of that kip and never looked back, I went back for my mother's funeral in Feb and l couldn't wait to get out of there. It's improved a lot but it's still not a place for people like me. People with a brain and a job.

banoffe2

Hi Hotblack Desiato

Well done to you for moving on and what you have accomplished.

Unfortunately its still going on in schools today from what I hear, and despite all the anti bullying policies in place the majority of schools enable bullying behaviour by not dealing with it.

I wonder is ignoring them the best approach when you meet them later inlife or to tell them to their face how you remember them, fisher price park ranger at the time was a treasure, and knowing he got away with it is so frustrating.

A friend of mine had to move her kids from primary school as the Principal's child was bullying her child and despite following all the necessary procedures nothing changed, meeting with the BOM etc, all backed up the Principal, evidence from the school yard CCTV conveniently got damaged. A few other families have since moved their kids from the same school, its a disgrace. Best of luck to you

Dank Janniels

partyguinness wrote: »

I was never bullied. Got name called and teased a few times with a word play on my first name but nothing major- TBH I gave it back plenty.

Farty Guinness?

I was never bullied in school, but the guy whom I suspect was considered a "bully" ended up owning his own business in Athlone. He's one of the wittiest guys I know, and whenever I'm in the area, I seek out his opinion on things.

This probably wasn't the reply you wanted, OP, but the guy who was probably considered our school "bully" is very sound, and has earned the same respect as an adult as he had in our school days. I suspect this is a common experience.

freshpopcorn

banoffe2 wrote: »

I wonder is ignoring them the best approach when you meet them later inlife or to tell them to their face how you remember them, fisher price park ranger at the time was a treasure.

I find it’s best to try and leave the past in the past and move on sometimes.
I had a guy in my class that used steal things off me when we were small. It annoyed me at the time.
However looking back on it he didn’t know his dad, had a few siblings, never had much compared to others growing up and didn’t have the support most of us had.
So if I met him in the morning I’m not going to bark at him for stealing my stickers and stuff.
I know that was a primary school bully.

McGinniesta

He was fine after I hit him with a coal shovel.