Height requirements in dating

lukin

Wibbs wrote: »

The main takeaway I'd have would be; yeah tall helps, as do looks, but overall basic sociability and emotional stability is the thing. Engaging with every person you meet, putting others at ease in your company, being easy going and more ready to crack a smile than a frown.

You are actually completely wrong there; for a lot of women having a good personality simply will not compensate for a lack of height. They take one look at you and see you are below the minimum requirement and they have already made up their mind. They are not even going to give you a chance. It's not a case of them thinking "Well he's a bit on the short side but I will listen to him and if he's good craic I might consider a relationship with him".
It's simply non-negotiable.

Antares35

Alejandro68 wrote: »

I have never used online dating sites, it seems shallow and brutal in the selection. If you are refused by how tall you are then they are not worth your time. You set the standard and don't allow those shallow bitches do it for you. And don't be so desperate about it.Why is there a time limit? Just in my bitchy opinion.

Aw. I met my fiancé online. Only filter that was really important to me at the time was that he didn't have kids or an ex wife, because I was just out of a relationship from hell with someone who had. Fiancé is just over six feet. Ex was around 5 4, a good few inches shorter than me. So, it doesn't matter to all of us what height someone is.

There's no point lying on your profile about your physical traits - they'll find out soon enough you were blagging when they meet you in the flesh!

I never really understood why people are so dismissive of online dating. Women in particular tend to get on their high horse about it, oh I'd be afraid I'd meet an internet weirdo etc. It's ok to fall home with whatever yoke you meet gée-eyed in the local nightclub at 4 in the morning though

Thelonious Monk

Gruffalux wrote: »

I actually don't know how people use a site like Tinder. I would be mortified if the neighbours saw me looking for a ride

Do people think Tinder is some sex hook up app? It's just mostly normal people looking to go on dates.

Antares35

Gruffalux wrote: »

I actually don't know how people use a site like Tinder. I would be mortified if the neighbours saw me looking for a ride

Tinder isn't a dating website really though, it's a hookup one. There's lots of dating sites where people aren't looking for the leg over in the next twelve hours

Antares35

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Do people think Tinder is some sex hook up app? It's just mostly normal people looking to go on dates.

Really? God I always thought it was!

Church on Tuesday

Hyperbollix wrote: »

Zip it, Sugartits

Alejandro68

Antares35 wrote: »

Aw. I met my fiancé online. Only filter that was really important to me at the time was that he didn't have kids or an ex wife, because I was just out of a relationship from hell with someone who had. Fiancé is just over six feet. Ex was around 5 4, a good few inches shorter than me. So, it doesn't matter to all of us what height someone is.

There's no point lying on your profile about your physical traits - they'll find out soon enough you were blagging when they meet you in the flesh!

I never really understood why people are so dismissive of online dating. Women in particular tend to get on their high horse about it, oh I'd be afraid I'd meet an internet weirdo etc. It's ok to fall home with whatever yoke you meet gée-eyed in the local nightclub at 4 in the morning though

But there is so much you can convey on a online profile. And things you cannot like sense of humor, style, even scent. Instead it is about physical traits and more. Maybe I read too much into it because I prefer face to face interaction. Where all those traits are displayed. But judging a future mate based on height alone is just very shallow and immature IMO.

Thelonious Monk

Antares35 wrote: »

Really? God I always thought it was!

No, not at all. I know loads of people who've met their partners on it.
The only app you'd prob be guaranteed to meet people for sex is Grinder.

Church on Tuesday

Wibbs wrote: »

Do such people have any self awareness at all, or do they feel that they're such a catch that basically saying I'm a moody opinionated wagon who will be a complete headmelt is no barrier to attracting someone?

Now men can be **** too of course, but there seems to be a cohort of women out there who think this is good advertising. We all know the types those who quote Marilyn Monroe's I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. WTF like?

That said there also exists a cohort of men who seem to be attracted to this type. Lord alone knows why.

I know. The way I look at it is, you are helpfully signaling how much of a mentaller you are now, so it saves the potential hassle and inevitable drama down the road. I honestly automatically swipe left on tinder or whatever when I see that.

Lads fall for the trap though, just because a women is a knock out looks wise doesn't always equate to being a sound person in general but loads ignore this in any event and it's the same the other way 'round too.

Antares35

Alejandro68 wrote: »

But there is so much you can convey on a online profile. And things you cannot like sense of humor, style, even scent. Instead it is about physical traits and more. Maybe I read too much into it because I prefer face to face interaction. Where all those traits are displayed. But judging a future mate based on height alone is just very shallow and immature IMO.

Yes, which is why once we met up online, we then began actual proper dating. Like it or not, subconsciously everyone is viewing prospective partners in part on the basis of their physical traits and that is as old as evolution itself, and happens whether the setting is a local pub, online, a book club etc.

But whereas looks might be enough to attract someone to a person initially, they will pretty soon lose their appeal if they're an ásshole or a psycho.

completedit

lukin wrote: »

You are actually completely wrong there; for a lot of women having a good personality simply will not compensate for a lack of height. They take one look at you and see you are below the minimum requirement and they have already made up their mind. They are not even going to give you a chance. It's not a case of them thinking "Well he's a bit on the short side but I will listen to him and if he's good craic I might consider a relationship with him".
It's simply non-negotiable.

It's worse than that. It's actually quite unsettling when I think about it so prefer not to but they essentially just filter you out. They don't even know why; they just don't have any sexual attraction to short men. And btw, it's not a case of a short man being 5'4'', they compare you to other guys, not to themselves. Being tall is a personality trait in and of itself; looks are too variable and open to subjective opinion but height isn't. A guy can be ugly but tall. Another guy could be handsome and shorter, but there is no definitive rule on what makes someone handsome. The problem is that's just life; the same way I am attracted to what I'm attracted to, women have their own views on what makes a guy attractive. I'm not being fair to a women when I like her; I like her because of her looks and personality, you can't get one without the other, similarly, I wouldn't even want a women to 'give me a chance'

Gruffalux

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Do people think Tinder is some sex hook up app? It's just mostly normal people looking to go on dates.

Yes I imagined it was.

Cue visions of Mrs McHugh down the road saying to one of the lads Ahhh John Joe, Mrs G up the hill is on here saying she would like a tall fella... will ya go on up there like a good man and help her out..
Nope. Bring back GSOH, PO Box and "Discretion assured".

Feisar

Online dating is just another string to the bow. It’s working for you 24/7, why not utilise it? Plus with tinder anyway it’s only giving matches with people you liked so that’s a start.

Gruffalux

Gruffalux wrote: »

Yes I imagined it was.

Cue visions of Mrs McHugh down the road saying to one of the lads Ahhh John Joe, Mrs G up the hill is on here saying she would like a tall fella... will ya go on up there like a good man and help her out..
Nope. Bring back GSOH, PO Box and "Discretion assured".

I love reading the personals in my mams Irelands Own magazines. There's usually a fella in his 70s looking for a woman between the ages of 20 and 25. Or a woman looking for a man with his own home, own car, own big ol bank balance. Last week when visiting my mam I took a picture of this one...



Not only is he 6ft but he has four showers! FOUR!!! What a catch!

Zirconia

Zip it, Sugartits:

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

CTKm7pYYE-4

Richard Hillman

If your stats and your life situation match up then online dating is a good place to hit. If you don't have the Stats and life but fancy your personality then out in the wild is for you.

If you have neither then there is a ton of porn out there. There isn't one person for everybody.

Alejandro68

Antares35 wrote: »

Yes, which is why once we met up online, we then began actual proper dating. Like it or not, subconsciously everyone is viewing prospective partners in part on the basis of their physical traits and that is as old as evolution itself, and happens whether the setting is a local pub, online, a book club etc.

But whereas looks might be enough to attract someone to a person initially, they will pretty soon lose their appeal if they're an ásshole or a psycho.

I would disagree. I am always wary of what makes them the person they are emotionally and mentally. I could care less of their height. I always give everyone a chance to impress me mentally. To go by height or physical attributes alone is just demeaning and shallow. There is more to them than that.IMO

QuestionTime18

completedit wrote: »

It's worse than that. It's actually quite unsettling when I think about it so prefer not to but they essentially just filter you out. They don't even know why; they just don't have any sexual attraction to short men. And btw, it's not a case of a short man being 5'4'', they compare you to other guys, not to themselves. Being tall is a personality trait in and of itself; looks are too variable and open to subjective opinion but height isn't. A guy can be ugly but tall. Another guy could be handsome and shorter, but there is no definitive rule on what makes someone handsome. The problem is that's just life; the same way I am attracted to what I'm attracted to, women have their own views on what makes a guy attractive. I'm not being fair to a women when I like her; I like her because of her looks and personality, you can't get one without the other, similarly, I wouldn't even want a women to 'give me a chance'

So true, especially on bumble with its height filter. Also true that they don’t care about personality, they don’t want to know a guy most of the time unless he’s tall.

Feisar

QuestionTime18 wrote: »

So true, especially on bumble with its height filter. Also true that they don’t care about personality, they don’t want to know a guy most of the time unless he’s tall.

Height filter, a great idea, just wish there was a tits filter.

Feisar

Feisar wrote: »

Height filter, a great idea, just wish there was a tits filter.

I thought there was?
Tits: yes/no

Antares35

Alejandro68 wrote: »

I would disagree. I am always wary of what makes them the person they are emotionally and mentally. I could care less of their height. I always give everyone a chance to impress me mentally. To go by height or physical attributes alone is just demeaning and shallow. There is more to them than that.IMO

You are free to disagree that's it's a good or bad thing to do, you're not free to disagree that it's a fact that most people do go by looks to some extent, at least initially.

For the avoidance of doubt, I never said that height was a deal breaker for me, not did I imply that it, as a sole feature, should be any kind of determining factor.

fin12

Anyone get very bad anxiety between dates especially when u really like the other person and waiting to meet them again. Over analysing and thinking negatively. I wish there was coping skills available.

Richard Hillman

Not that I use dating apps anymore but I wouldn't mind a height filter. I wouldn't go out with a girl that is towering over me. Same height maybe but nothing higher. And I'm only 5'6 :pac:

Feisar

MikeOxsgreen wrote: »

I thought there was?
Tits: yes/no

More on the lines of:

A B C D E F G H I J K

ohnonotgmail

that video was posted earlier.

lavinia hathaway

Some men also rule women out for being a certain height. I am 5" 10 and the last message I got simply said "Too tall". That's not the only time it's been said to me either. While I still wouldn't rule anyone out based on height, it certainly becomes wearisome when my physical attributes are viewed as a negative from the beginning. I most definitely don't want to deal with an inferiority complex either. Life is hard enough:)

fin12

Anyone consider or have gone to a dating coach, I see there’s a woman called Francis Kelleher in Kerry who’s one. I’m thinking I might go if I have no luck by the end of this year.

Feisar

lavinia hathaway wrote: »

Some men also rule women out for being a certain height. I am 5" 10 and the last message I got simply said "Too tall". That's not the only time it's been said to me either. While I still wouldn't rule anyone out based on height, it certainly becomes wearisome when my physical attributes are viewed as a negative from the beginning. I most definitely don't want to deal with an inferiority complex either. Life is hard enough:)

What sort of a tool puts someone down like that just for the sake of it. And who wouldn’t want a leggy 5’10” woman?

Feisar

fin12 wrote: »

Anyone consider or have gone to a dating coach, I see there’s a woman called Francis Kelleher in Kerry who’s one. I’m thinking I might go if I have no luck by the end of this year.

I was all for it but my wife put a stop to it.

fin12

fin12 wrote: »

Anyone consider or have gone to a dating coach, I see there’s a woman called Francis Kelleher in Kerry who’s one. I’m thinking I might go if I have no luck by the end of this year.

I kinda adopted that mantel for a friend awhile back. I wrote about it on here I think. It went seriously well but man was I stressed out and totally invested. I think if I did it as a career I would break down before the first year ended.

Ultrflat

I think Irish dating has an inherent flaw of this "Instagram life style" being shown apposed the grim realities that peoples expectations are too high I suspect in the future there's going to be eld one an eld fellas everywhere single and not very happy based on the current attitude to dating.

Ekerot

lavinia hathaway wrote: »

Some men also rule women out for being a certain height. I am 5" 10 and the last message I got simply said "Too tall". That's not the only time it's been said to me either. While I still wouldn't rule anyone out based on height, it certainly becomes wearisome when my physical attributes are viewed as a negative from the beginning. I most definitely don't want to deal with an inferiority complex either. Life is hard enough:)

Single?
I'm free

Mister Vain

Ultrflat wrote: »

I think Irish dating has an inherent flaw of this "Instagram life style" being shown apposed the grim realities that peoples expectations are too high I suspect in the future there's going to be eld one an eld fellas everywhere single and not very happy based on the current attitude to dating.

It's not unique to Ireland, but yeah its an interesting point. Years ago a woman would dress up on a Saturday night and get attention for a few hours. Now with social media that attention is 24/7. You'd have to wonder how much that affects expectations. I know a girl who is very attractive but she's addicted to Instagram. She's one of those people that is always "on." It's hard to compete with that.

lavinia hathaway

Feisar wrote: »

What sort of a tool puts someone down like that just for the sake of it. And who wouldn’t want a leggy 5’10” woman?

I can only surmise that it's some sort of neg where I have to justify my very existence to these clowns. I can't imagine sending someone a message saying "too short".

lavinia hathaway

Ekerot wrote: »

Single?
I'm free

I am, but I may be too tall:D

Church on Tuesday

Feisar wrote: »

What sort of a tool puts someone down like that just for the sake of it. And who wouldn’t want a leggy 5’10” woman?

An insecure tool.

Ultrflat

Mister Vain wrote: »

It's not unique to Ireland, but yeah its an interesting point. Years ago a woman would dress up on a Saturday night and get attention for a few hours. Now with social media that attention is 24/7. You'd have to wonder how much that affects expectations. I know a girl who is very attractive but she's addicted to Instagram. She's one of those people that is always "on." It's hard to compete with that.

I've no interest in competing that's the thing, if they feel they need to stroke there egos based on how many likes and matches they get. From the out side looking it look like pretty hollow and surveille existence. There's a dented personality with not much going on...

Antares35

Ultrflat wrote: »

I've no interest in competing that's the thing, if they feel they need to stroke there egos based on how many likes and matches they get. From the out side looking it look like pretty hollow and surveille existence. There's a dented personality with not much going on...

I've a friend like that who lives vicariously through Instagram. I spend less and less time with her as we get older tbh. She's obsessed with who is following who and all that shíte. Any time we are out she has to get a pic of "the gals" having an amazing time so that her ex will see on Instagram that she's having an amazing time. It makes me weary. I just couldn't live like that.

On the topic of dating, she's absolutely brutal in her harshness towards guys. It's fine to have standards for yourself but she will just find random flaws with otherwise perfect and really nice guys, and be like "nope, next". She won't even take the time to have a chat. We were out with her one evening and she was due to meet someone she met online and as the poor guy approached the table she just turned to me and said "no, don't like him".

Then she complains about still being single. She often has a dig at me, saying I'm lucky to have my OH and he's so wonderful etc. He is, but I feel like saying to her "he's the kind of guy you wouldn't give a second date to because you'd say he was too nice or too friendly and might be weird" or whatever.

Antares35

Antares35 wrote: »

I've a friend like that who lives vicariously through Instagram. I spend less and less time with her as we get older tbh. She's obsessed with who is following who and all that shíte. Any time we are out she has to get a pic of "the gals" having an amazing time so that her ex will see on Instagram that she's having an amazing time. It makes me weary. I just couldn't live like that.

On the topic of dating, she's absolutely brutal in her harshness towards guys. It's fine to have standards for yourself but she will just find random flaws with otherwise perfect and really nice guys, and be like "nope, next". She won't even take the time to have a chat. We were out with her one evening and she was due to meet someone she met online and as the poor guy approached the table she just turned to me and said "no, don't like him".

Then she complains about still being single. She often has a dig at me, saying I'm lucky to have my OH and he's so wonderful etc. He is, but I feel like saying to her "he's the kind of guy you wouldn't give a second date to because you'd say he was too nice or too friendly and might be weird" or whatever.

She doesn't deserve an OH.

My OH had a few friends like that, their standards started to really plummet as their 30s progressed.

#Schadenfreude

jmlad2020

Find a girl under 5 foot 4 and you'll be grand op. There's a few about.

Everyone has limitations in attracting the opposite sex just go with it.

RonaVirus

I'm 5'11'' and feel like a midget most of the time.

SusieBlue

Antares35 wrote: »

I've a friend like that who lives vicariously through Instagram. I spend less and less time with her as we get older tbh. She's obsessed with who is following who and all that shíte. Any time we are out she has to get a pic of "the gals" having an amazing time so that her ex will see on Instagram that she's having an amazing time. It makes me weary. I just couldn't live like that.

On the topic of dating, she's absolutely brutal in her harshness towards guys. It's fine to have standards for yourself but she will just find random flaws with otherwise perfect and really nice guys, and be like "nope, next". She won't even take the time to have a chat. We were out with her one evening and she was due to meet someone she met online and as the poor guy approached the table she just turned to me and said "no, don't like him".

Then she complains about still being single. She often has a dig at me, saying I'm lucky to have my OH and he's so wonderful etc. He is, but I feel like saying to her "he's the kind of guy you wouldn't give a second date to because you'd say he was too nice or too friendly and might be weird" or whatever.

I have a friend like this too. She once went on a date with a guy she was getting along pretty well with, but she rejected his offer of a second date because she didn’t like his watch and it was apparently a dealbreaker for her :rolleyes:

Mister Vain

I feel like a big jacked motherfooker until I see my reflection in a shop window and realise I look like a leprechaun.

Galwayguy35

RonaVirus wrote: »

I'm 5'11'' and feel like a midget most of the time.

Are you living in Holland?

5'11 is a decent height.

Ultrflat

SusieBlue wrote: »

I have a friend like this too. She once went on a date with a guy she was getting along pretty well with, but she rejected his offer of a second date because she didn’t like his watch and it was apparently a dealbreaker for her :rolleyes:

She'd love me every watch I own has been a gift from an x gf or wife. :pac:

Ultrflat

Antares35 wrote: »

I've a friend like that who lives vicariously through Instagram. I spend less and less time with her as we get older tbh. She's obsessed with who is following who and all that shíte. Any time we are out she has to get a pic of "the gals" having an amazing time so that her ex will see on Instagram that she's having an amazing time. It makes me weary. I just couldn't live like that.

On the topic of dating, she's absolutely brutal in her harshness towards guys. It's fine to have standards for yourself but she will just find random flaws with otherwise perfect and really nice guys, and be like "nope, next". She won't even take the time to have a chat. We were out with her one evening and she was due to meet someone she met online and as the poor guy approached the table she just turned to me and said "no, don't like him".

Then she complains about still being single. She often has a dig at me, saying I'm lucky to have my OH and he's so wonderful etc. He is, but I feel like saying to her "he's the kind of guy you wouldn't give a second date to because you'd say he was too nice or too friendly and might be weird" or whatever.

she sounds about as pleasant as eating your own vomit from a sick bag!

RonaVirus

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Are you living in Holland?

5'11 is a decent height.

I moved to Galway from a different part of the country. People are taller here.

Wibbs

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Are you living in Holland?

5'11 is a decent height.

That's what I was thinking myself. I'm the same height myself and I'd generally see more guys shorter than me than taller. Not by much in either direction to be fair. Then again as a bloke maybe I'm not noticing it that much because I'm not into men and height would be of no consequence to me with women?

It would also suggest that because I've never even considered my height as a factor that if a guy is 5'11 it generally isn't?

JeffreyEpspeen

FWIW I'm 6'3 and my height just makes me feel more conspicuous and insecure when I tower over everyone else. I'd say it's hindered me if anything during my attempts to engage with the opposite sex, certainly hasn't helped.

Thelonious Monk

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Are you living in Holland?

5'11 is a decent height.

Funny you should say that, I'm bang on 6ft which is usually tall enough here but I was in Holland a couple of years ago visiting my Dutch friend and when I went out with all of his friends I was the shortest there by a few inches at least.
Even the women are really tall, and you don't really see overweight people. Must be all the cycling and salads.