Things you find in Irish rental properties

the purple tin

Bath, sink and toilet in a lovely shade of avocado, fawn or maybe even dark brown. Sink is always miniscule. Toilet, towel rail and sink are loose and coming away from the wall.

Instead of a real shower, a crappy rubber hose rig that plugs into the taps. Stained, ancient shower curtain.

Manky ring around the bath that can never be cleaned off. Manky stains below the waterline of the toilet that are equally invincible.
A pathetically weak flush that leads to constant blockages.

Cistern takes about half an hour to refill and makes more noise than a jumbo jet at take-off.

Flowery curtains on the bathroom window, last washed during the space race.
One of those silly basket things that sits across the bath and keeps your bathing essentials in easy reach.

CrankyHaus

the purple tin wrote: »

Toilet, towel rail and sink are loose and coming away from the wall.

Because the towel rail, shower rail and bogroll holder were all simply screwed directly into the wall plasterboard by some breakfast roll chewing neanderthal in the 2000s.

Chinasea

Breeze block walls in the garden no paint nor plaster, even 40 years later. No planting whatsoever. Gray grim and baron. Ugly parking space for car/taxi plonked right in front of main front of house facing window. Shudder...

Cheensbo

I live in this whole thread :pac:

whisky_galore

An electric shower noisier than a tractor harvesting silage, with controls that need a degree in thermodynamics to avoid being scalded or frozen.

jill_valentine

Mould mould mould
(how do you like it, how do you like it)

the purple tin

Those crap cds they used to give away free with the newspapers.

2011

1. Very strong musty smell.
   
2. Attic hatch door missing.
   
3. Light bulbs missing or blown in most rooms. String pull type light switches on wrong side of doors.
   
4. Patterned carpets from early sixties with worn patches. Sections cut out to remove cat sh!t stains from a generation ago.
   
5. Numerous faded plastic bottles that contained cleaning products a very long time ago.
   
6. Cracked glass on small rotten windows that have been painted closed.
   
7. Perished rubber shower hose on bath taps. Shower head missing. Tide marks on side of pale blue bath. Bath plug replaced with beer mats. Dirty ashtray in bathroom sink. Cracked tile effect covering on uneven creaking floor. Strange spongy feeling under foot. Dead insects dotted around window ledge. Dusty net curtains provide limited privacy.
   
8. Toilet with missing cistern lid that requires a knack to flush it which wobbles once any weight is applied.
   
9. Lock on bathroom door has been forced so no longer works.
   
10. Occasional electrical shocks from the kitchen taps.
    
11. Pages from the Farmers Journal used as drawer liners.
    
12. Lights dim and flicker when the cooker is switched on
    
13. Mattress has a mysterious large brown stains in a shape that resembles South Africa.
    
14. A strange smell emanates from any electrical heater that is switched on.
    
15. A dead rodent under the fridge that can not be identified due to advanced decomposition.
    
16. Broken intercom that randomly buzzes.
    
17. Dirty cups and glasses that are stuck to the kitchen shelves. Unidentifiable dark colored viscous liquid in some glasses.
    
18. A selection of odd and strangely brittle socks strewn around the landing floor along with rusted mouse traps with long since rejected, hairy, moldy bait.
    
19. Very obvious semi completed attempts at repairs to plaster on various walls that have been half pained in a different color.
    
20. Internal doors can’t close fully, badly warped and are irregular shapes. Footprints from decade old kicks across the middle of some doors.

Risingshadoo

Things you expect to find? B.astards

An alleged "double" bed which, if placed by an upstairs window, will result in the death of one partner should the other roll over during the night.

howamidifferent

Mousetraps under any surface high enough off the floor to hide them.

20 year old leaking electric kettle.

Flatpack wardrobes that break under the weight of any clothes you dare to hang inside.
With obligatory stash of 100 metal hangers.

Clock on the wall with one broken hand.

Pkiernan

Overstaying tenants who haven't paid rent in 6 months

CrankyHaus

Hidden cameras, that the Landlord tells his wife are just there to prevent property damage, which is why he has to check them all the time now that a troupe of 19-year old Brazilian girls have moved in.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Bits_n_Bobs wrote: »

Yet the landlord insists on including them and then itemises each piece of cutlery to deduct against deposit...

Also as it is remarkably easy to remove fluff from extractor fan, why doesn't the landlord do this before tenant moves in? Either way, the fans are a waste of time and electricity, running a good dehumidifier more or les 24/7 is the only way to keep crappy Irish apartments dry.

So add your own bits. You’re not obliged to use what’s provided. If I want a particular type of cookware or cutlery, I’ll buy it. And if you don’t want deductions, don’t take with you anything that was there when you moved in. It’s pretty simple.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

nullzero wrote: »

Mould is the big one.

Broken appliances, usually broken because they're cheap tat.

I saw what turn out to be pancake batter on the ceiling of one kitchen, somebody attempted to flip the pancake immediately after they poured the batter onto the pan it seemed.

And another mention for the "Sure it's grand" black leather couch that is broken in the middle.

That and everything having a distinct whiff of late 80s early 90s about it.

Sometimes this is due to damp but sometimes it’s down to tenants. Clothes horses are a fixture in every house I’ve ever been in in this country. Because of their use, you need to quickly air out the house every day. Yes, even in winter. Ten minutes or so with the windows open to get rid of dampness in the air. People do so in colder countries than Ireland.

Stovepipe

Cistern takes about half an hour to refill and makes more noise than a jumbo jet at take-off.

Change the plastic flap in the siphon in the cistern.It takes about ten minutes and will dramatically improve the performance of the cistern.

Stovepipe

This sounds like the opening lines from that recent programe about cheap Irish houses; ie, tips that should have been bulldozed years ago.

Church on Tuesday

Rusting pots and pans.

Jake1

Jake1 wrote: »

a crying chair..

somewhere to sit and sob your heart out when you look at your crappy surroundings

There used to be a great crying chair thread on here many years ago. Is that still going?

Sgt Hartman

Ancient single glazed windows that are magnets for condensation with a layer of black mould around the window frame.

mojesius

A solitary blue china saucer, an unbranded dirty pint glass and a chipped egg cup in the cupboard, accompanied by a half empty box of shredded wheat best before 2014.

A random plank of wood shoved in the fireplace to stop the draught, covered in cobwebs.

An oversized bargaintown mattress with that infamous gaudy 'rental' pattern shoved on top of a smaller bedframe. Bedside locker with a broken door or drawer.

Lots of pine everywhere in general. Floors covered in badly fitted laminate.

You don't dare venture into the attic.

mojesius

Deleted User wrote: »

There used to be a great crying chair thread on here many years ago. Is that still going?

I believe the crying chair originated in this thread: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=67058189

It was the funniest thread on Boards, i was in tears laughing at the replies, shame a lot of the links/pictures no longer work. The crying chair lived on in later threads such as 'Funny Houses/Flats. to rent' etc.

the purple tin

Tiny windows in the upper floors that don't open. Weirdly small, like 8 x 12 inches.
A box of ratty tinsel, cracked baubles and a tangled ball of Xmas lights under the stairs.
Half a broken broom handle.
A jam jar full of fuses. All blown.
A broken wooden tennis raquet.

2lazytogetup

so depressing reading this, but so true.

dust everywhere, carpet faded in certain areas. holes in doors.

Sgt Hartman

Years of dead skin, pubes and nail clippings from the previous tenants accumulated underneath the beds

worded

A dryer that doesn’t work but LL refuses to remove it or give permission to have it dumped

Cheap fridge freezer with cracked ice box door as it wasn’t defrosted in time

Black mould

Arseh0le letting agents

Mortgaged neighbours feeling superior to you

What a nightmare letting can be

I’m the mortgaged superior feeling neighbour now LOL

Stovepipe

cheap and nasty landlords;the two worst I ever had were both teachers and both attempted DIY rather than replace anything and argued the toss over the bills constantly. One used to hide his Saab around the corner and change into ragged clothing and then come around to collect the rent.

Melanchthon

For bathrooms dripping taps, bath tubs that can never be fully cleaned, lumping silicone sealant around all edges and hideous old linoleum on the floor.

perfectkama

all of the above, the tenant handing back the keys walking away with a smile

BeepBeep67

A Crazy Prices shopping trolley pre coin release

ladystardust

Shocking lack of ventilation

Weird corners and angles in rooms where extra rooms have been added.

Ridiculously large dining table for a bedsit/ 1 bed.

Spiders

Ancient Roman Baths..

So much Trompe L'oile... jaysus..its a bleedin' flat in Drury street.

https://www.daft.ie/for-rent/apartment-apartment-7-drury-hall-dublin-2-co-dublin/2760806

Purple Mountain

Old style non fan oven that takes about an hour to preheat and you could never guarantee the food was cooked properly.
*thinking back to one particular rental from college. Shudder.*

the purple tin

Jake1 wrote: »

Ancient Roman Baths..

So much Trompe L'oile... jaysus..its a bleedin' flat in Drury street.

https://www.daft.ie/for-rent/apartment-apartment-7-drury-hall-dublin-2-co-dublin/2760806

Check the wardrobe, full of togas and laurels I bet