Early 30's - gotten myself into a rut

Segundo Volanante

Hi guys,

Appreciate you taking the time to read.

Long story short, I've been feeling really down lately. I'll rephrase that - not so much down, just rather lonely.

This really only started to hit home the past month or so. I have a great job, pays well, and I moved into a fantastic apartment by myself in a really great location. I get to work from home, am, essentially my own boss, and have complete autonomy. I'm near all the major bars/music venues/places to be and I should really have no excuses. It's when 5pm hits though and all through the weekend that I'm more often than not completely by myself with nothing to do and the nights and weekends drag.

I haven't got a massive social circle (I was in a relationship for 6 years and would have grown apart from my 'friends') - nowadays I'd see a couple of them every 2 months or so to watch a game or the other group every couple of months for a concert or something like that, but they've all got wives/fiances/girlfriends/kids.

I keep myself fit and healthy, and in shape, I like to think I look good, and I've tried the whole online dating thing but it seems rather vacuous. I dunno, maybe subconsciously I never truly got over my ex, or maybe I feel I'm not a kid in my 20's and need to find someone. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm sick of being by myself all the time. At least when I had my daily commute to the office I had some semblance of interaction with people but now, everything is draining at home.

I know there's people far worse off than me and I shouldn't complain but it really gets me down sometimes.

Can anyone relate to this or has anyone any advice?

Thanks in advance

zoobizoo

Totally can relate. When head in my early 30s I found myself on my own at weekends a lot due to friends not being free.

Luckily I discovered a hobby, joined a club to do with my hobby and never looked back.

I discovered a bunch of people just like me who were in a similar boat who wanted to go out, go away on weekends and live a little.

I wasn't waiting around until Saturday evening came to find out if my friends had decided late to come out..... I'd be off west on a Friday and back Sunday night having had a fun weekend.

And because it was 50:50 guys to girls, it opened up a lot of opportunities on the dating front. I'm fact I'm now married to someone I met through the club (there werw a fair few marriages etc)

So in short, get out there.

LilacNails

Just wanna say OP I'm I the same boat. I hate weekends now. It feels like in the only person on my own and doing nothing exciting or fun.

I find it difficult to make friends, but at the same time I'm picky with who I see as a true friend.

Like the previous poster said it's all about getting out, joining groups/clubs and staying busy.

If only I could take my own advice!

But ya it's ****e. It's really tough at times.

Segundo Volanante

Thanks guys, the kind words bring hope and are appreciated.

When you say join clubs/groups, where do I go about this? I suppose it's endemic of my interests growing up all revolved around sport or music, so the pub and live music venue culture was always big for me, and now I want to break the monotony of that but don't know how to?

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

Segundo Volanante thank you for your post. I see you have posted this thread in another forum and as cross posting is not allowed, I'll close the thread here.

Best of luck.

HS