Back to creche blues

El Gato De Negocios

Our two went back to creche last week on half days til next week. Little one is fine but the 3 year old has been getting very upset the last two mornings with going. Yesterday morning he bawled before leaving the house, when in the car to the creche and when we got out. This morning he didnt want to leave the house and started crying when we pulled up outside it. He is generally fine once he gets in and settled (there were two instances last week where he got upset while in there) but its really hard to see him so upset when dropping him off.

Has anyone got any tips to try and make it a bit easier for him? We have tried changing the subject in the morning eg he would say "we arent going to the creche" so we would basically ignore his question and try to distract him with his breakfast, toys etc. We have been talking about his teachers and class mates and showing him photos of him playing with the other kids reminding him of the fun he had etc and we will keep doing that but any other suggestions would be welcome.

shesty

Actually I wouldn't really distract.I would try saying well we are today, but we will be coming to pick you up after lunch, (or whenever).Maybe say I know you don't really want to, but it won't be so bad or something. And that is it, don't talk about it anymore, do a cheery good bye when you drop him off.I just think it is better to acknowledge that is how he feels, becaus ehe isn't stupid at the end of the day, he knows he is going.

Also what might help is do a little chart of his week, and mark the creche days with a picture of his teacher or something, and the home days with your pictures, or the garden or something -then each night, have a look and chat about what is tomorrow, or if it works better, each morning let him move a peg on to the correct day and chat with what today is.

I feel for you though, it has been so hard on the kids, their worlds are upside down.Ny 2 year old has had a few wobbly moments too the last couple of weeks. And your guy is just at the age where he is realising the days are different and different things happen each day, so the visual might help him to know what is happening each day.

Obviously talk to creche staff about how he is when he is in there too, and anything that might be happening, just to check.

angeldelight

I would agree don’t change the subject or distract - it’s making things easier for you guys but not validating his feelings or making him feel heard. I would give a little run through eg we’re having breakfast then Mammy/Daddy will bring you to creche, Mammy and daddy are going to do some work (or whatever) and then Mammy/Daddy will collect you after you’ve had your lunch or whatever time it is so he knows. When he gets upset I would say I know you’re sad to go to creche today I understand that it’s hard to get used to not being at home again. It works really well as they feel like you understand them, they feel heard and you are giving them the vocabulary they need themselves to explain how they’re feeling. You could find yourselves doing the little run through 10 times but kids love repetition and love understanding what is going to happen when.

Good luck, it’s so hard when they’re upset

Foweva Awone

Yeah I have to say I agree with the above, it's incredibly frustrating for a child to feel they are not being heard or understood.

Instead of dismissing his feelings, engage in conversation about what his concerns are and how you might be able to address them. E.g. would it help if he brought in a favourite toy from home (if creche allows it, some won't at the moment) or even a family photo?

Would it help to plan out the day so he has something in the afternoon to look forward to after creche, e.g. a trip to the playground or a favourite dinner? Some kids just really crave routine and certainty about what to expect, he's gotten used to the home routine and maybe he just needs reassurance about what to expect with the new routine.

Also maybe there is concern about changes in the creche, due to covid, a new layout, or the staff wearing PPE? Or even general anxiety about covid? If this is the case, there are social stories available online to help young children understand.

Hope he settles back soon!

El Gato De Negocios

Thanks guys. He has moved to a new room since he was last in it so thats likely playing into his anxiety alot. When he woke this morning the first thing he said was he didnt want to go but we got dressed, had a chat, had breakfast and when he brought it up I just told him he would go for a little while and that i would be collecting him soon. There were no tears and when we got there, he was a little bit hesitant but the two teachers in his class are lovely and were both waiting at the door to greet him and fuss over him so all was fine today. Could simply be just a case of him needing a bit more adjustment time.

shesty

Ah lovely, maybe that is it then.It's a big change for them all round.Hopefully he will settle a bit better now.