Tall tales, urban legends and spoofers

unhappys10

Sardonicat wrote: »

You're right, I wouldn't believe it. If she wasn't long in the country she wouldn't have been entitled to anything other than a small payment from a community welfare officer who, until recently, came under the auspices of the HSE and operate , still, in separate premises from 'Social Welfare Offices' which haven't been called that for well over a decade. 'Likewise, emergency payments are awarded by Community Welfare Officers, in their offices, not in 'Social Welfare Offices" 'Single Mothers' hasn't been called that for over 20 years. So yeah, you're spoofing in the spoofer thread.

I was there and the community welfare officer were the ones who told me. But sure you stay in your little bubble there and believe what you like.
They're getting everything paid for them, I saw it every day of the week while I was there, couldn't give 2 ****es whether a stranger on the internet who hasn't a clue believes it or not.

Cop on, social welfare office is still a common phrase, but sure we'll use Intreo if you like.
You just showed you know fcuk all as the community welfare officers office was down the hallway from main Intreo reception where you'd have people coming in to sign on.
Loan parent, whatever it's called, you know what I mean unless you've fewer brain cells than I already think you do.

EmmetSpiceland

unhappys10 wrote: »

If people actually knew half the crap that is given out there'd be uproar.

If people knew how much political pensions cost they wouldn’t be too concerned about whatever few quid some poor person got for baby food or a pram.

Whatever these people get, it is given to them by the State. They aren’t “scamming the system”, they are asking for, and receiving, what the State decides they are entitled to.

If it’s such a glorious life living on the lowest rung of society, and since you have such first hand experience of the bountiful “luxuries” associated with it, why aren’t you doing what they were doing?

unhappys10

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

If people knew how much political pensions cost they wouldn’t be too concerned about whatever few quid some poor person got for baby food or a pram.

Whatever these people get, it is given to them by the State. They aren’t “scamming the system”, they are asking for, and receiving, what the State decides they are entitled to.

If it’s such a glorious life living on the lowest rung of society, and since you have such first hand experience of the bountiful “luxuries” associated with it, why aren’t you doing what they were doing?

Another one for the bubble.
If you think people aren't scamming the system you are deluded. Keep your head in the sand, good lad.

Parabellum9

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

If people knew how much political pensions cost they wouldn’t be too concerned about whatever few quid some poor person got for baby food or a pram.

Whatever these people get, it is given to them by the State. They aren’t “scamming the system”, they are asking for, and receiving, what the State decides they are entitled to.

If it’s such a glorious life living on the lowest rung of society, and since you have such first hand experience of the bountiful “luxuries” associated with it, why aren’t you doing what they were doing?

Oh the naivety is strong in this one - look at Maggie Cash for an answer to all your questions. Free house, 50k a year in benefits and all for laying on your back and popping kid after kid out. As for your suggestion “why aren’t you doing what they are?” Maybe some people are too honest to be parasitic scum playing a broken system that enables the wasters and punishes the ambitious

Earthhorse

I once heard tale of a boards thread that stayed on topic.

EmmetSpiceland

unhappys10 wrote: »

Another one for the bubble.
If you think people aren't scamming the system you are deluded. Keep your head in the sand, good lad.

Parabellum9 wrote: »

Oh the naivety is strong in this one - look at Maggie Cash for an answer to all your questions. Free house, 50k a year in benefits and all for laying on your back and popping kid after kid out. As for your suggestion “why aren’t you doing what they are?” Maybe some people are too honest to be parasitic scum playing a broken system that enables the wasters and punishes the ambitious

Is what these people are doing “illegal”? Have they broken any laws in seeking what is entitled to them?

Or is the State you feel are in the wrong here?

Parabellum9

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Is what these people are doing “illegal”? Have they broken any laws in seeking what is entitled to them?

Or is the State you feel are in the wrong here?

For me it’s absolutely the state, we should never have allowed welfare support to mutate to an extent that it becomes a valid alternative work - on the flip side of that those abusing it can also go **** themselves.

Anyway back on topic- there was a rumour in limerick years ago that a lad met this Turkish woman in the trinity rooms. They hit it off and she takes him back to her place. **** gets kinky and she ties his arms and legs to the bedposts, says she will be back in a minute when she has something more sexy on. The lad is laying there thinking he’s in paradise when 3 big black fellas jump out of the wardrobe and have their way with him for the next 4 hours.

banie01

Greta_Funberg wrote: »

.

The American tourist commenting on how "lucky" it was that <castle> was built next to a road, when visiting <castle>.

This one is true.
I've been witness to such a conversation whilst in King John's Castle in Limerick.

Sardonicat

unhappys10 wrote: »

I was there and the community welfare officer were the ones who told me. But sure you stay in your little bubble there and believe what you like.
They're getting everything paid for them, I saw it every day of the week while I was there, couldn't give 2 ****es whether a stranger on the internet who hasn't a clue believes it or not.

Cop on, social welfare office is still a common phrase, but sure we'll use Intreo if you like.
You just showed you know fcuk all as the community welfare officers office was down the hallway from main Intreo reception where you'd have people coming in to sign on.
Loan parent, whatever it's called, you know what I mean unless you've fewer brain cells than I already think you do.

Not in a little bubble. It's my educational background. Before it was Intreo it was The HSE that employed Community Welfare Officers, before that it was the Health Boards and they had nothing to do with The Department of Employment Affairs and Social Protection whose titular named offices which had been through various name changes depending on what PR spin the government of the day opt for long before being called Intreo offices. At least 5 changes since 'Social Welfare' had hung over the doors. Community Welfare officers do not operate in these offices still. So yeah, keep bullsh1tting . Some people will believe that you can't actually remember which department you worked for and paid your wages even though you remember the African woman who walked into the country and was handed free everything. It hasn't been called Loan Parents for over a decade either. But carry on. I'm sure a few equally angry and ignorant people as yourself feel validated by your nonsense posts.

unhappys10

Sardonicat wrote: »

Not in a little bubble. It's my educational background. Before it was Intreo it was The HSE that employed Community Welfare Officers, before that it was the Health Boards and they had nothing to do with The Department of Employment Affairs and Social Protection whose titular named offices which had been through various name changes depending on what PR spin the government of the day opt for long before being called Intreo offices. At least 5 changes since 'Social Welfare' had hung over the doors. Community Welfare officers do not operate in these offices still. So yeah, keep bullsh1tting . Some people will believe that you can't actually remember which department you worked for and paid your wages even though you remember the African woman who walked into the country and was handed free everything. It hasn't been called Loan Parents for over a decade either. But carry on. I'm sure a few equally angry and ignorant people as yourself feel validated by your nonsense posts.

The community welfare officers office was down a corridor from main Intreo reception, it's still is so keep your stupid comments to yourself.

People like you are just plain ignorant of what's going on or you know exactly what happens and choose to ignore it.
Not going to have some eejit on an internet forum try to tell me what I saw and heard with my own 2 eyes and ears.
You keep your head in the sand and pay your taxes to support this carry on like a good little boy.

Go visit Intreo in Longford and ask where is the community welfare officers office, I'll give you €1,000 if it's not in the building.

From citizens information website, you might find the last paragraph interesting.

The Department of Employment Affairs and Social Protection's (DEASP) representatives, formerly known as Community Welfare Officers (CWOs), are employed throughout Ireland by the DEASP. CWOs were previously employed by the Health Service Executive (HSE). In legislation they are called designated persons.

They are based in Intreo centres and are responsible for the day-to-day administration of the Supplementary Welfare Allowance Scheme.

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/supplementary_welfare_schemes/community_welfare_officers.html

Mal-Adjusted

I remember hearing one years back about this lad driving home very late at night through woods or some other atmosphericly appropriate landscape and comes across a young woman lying unconscious in the middle of the road. He's about to stop and see what's wrong but gets "a feeling" and instead drives around her and stops about a hundred metres up the road where he gets out and looks back. He sees about a dozen or so figures standing around the spot all looking after him.

There's one that seems to be well known but iv'e only ever heard it on this site about so and so's aunt goes to america and gets into a lift with a black lad who says "hit the floor" and she panicks and cowers on the floor but it turns out to be Will Smith or Denzel Washington.

McGinniesta

I've heard a rumour that 9\11 wasn't an inside job.

fryup

that Lidl & Aldi was started by two German brothers that went their own separate ways

* fact of the matter it was started by two different families from different parts of Germany that have absolutely no connection to each other

brianwalshcork

The lidl/aldi spoof is probably coming from Aldi Nord / Aldi Sud.

The original Aldi company in Germany was split into two - north Germany / South Germany, over a disagreement on the sales of cigarettes.

‘Irish’ Aldi is Aldi Sud

Timberrrrrrrr

Earthhorse wrote: »

I once heard tale of a boards thread that stayed on topic.

Urban myth, never happened.

CantGetNoSleep

Gerbilling

KevRossi

Sardonicat wrote: »

It hasn't been called Loan Parents for over a decade either. But carry on. I'm sure a few equally angry and ignorant people as yourself feel validated by your nonsense posts.

It was never called 'the dole' or 'the scratcher', but everyone i know calls it one or the other, nobody calls it Jobseekers Allowance or Jobseekers Benefit.

I know some people who refer to Intreo as 'Fas' or indeed 'AnCo'. It's colloquialism, nothing wrong with that.

brianwalshcork wrote: »

The lidl/aldi spoof is probably coming from Aldi Nord / Aldi Sud.

The original Aldi company in Germany was split into two - north Germany / South Germany, over a disagreement on the sales of cigarettes.

‘Irish’ Aldi is Aldi Sud

Aldi Nord and Sud was set up and owned by two brothers, Karl and Theo Albrecht. The names stands for Albrecht Discount. They have Germany divided into two parts and they take over different countries on agreement. They do not compete with each other.

Pkiernan

KevRossi wrote: »

It was never called 'the dole' or 'the scratcher', but everyone i know calls it one or the other, nobody calls it Jobseekers Allowance or Jobseekers Benefit.

I know some people who refer to Intreo as 'Fas' or indeed 'AnCo'. It's colloquialism, nothing wrong with that.




Aldi Nord and Sud was set up and owned by two brothers, Karl and Theo Albrecht. The names stands for Albrecht Discount. They have Germany divided into two parts and they take over different countries on agreement. They do not compete with each other.

So relieved you cleared up that controversy for us.

KevRossi

Pkiernan wrote: »

So relieved you cleared up that controversy for us.

You're welcome. Thanks for taking the time out to read it and comment on it. Glad you found it useful.

corner of hells

KevRossi wrote: »

It was never called 'the dole' or 'the scratcher', but everyone i know calls it one or the other, nobody calls it Jobseekers Allowance or Jobseekers Benefit.

I know some people who refer to Intreo as 'Fas' or indeed 'AnCo'. It's colloquialism, nothing wrong with that.




Aldi Nord and Sud was set up and owned by two brothers, Karl and Theo Albrecht. The names stands for Albrecht Discount. They have Germany divided into two parts and they take over different countries on agreement. They do not compete with each other.

Were Aldi Nord and Sud in the same office or just down the corridor from each other?
Asking for a friend.

freshpopcorn

That somebody invited Gay Byrne to their Birthday party and the end of the night he presented them with an envelope containing a bill for his appearance fee.

CrankyHaus

brianwalshcork wrote: »

The lidl/aldi spoof is probably coming from Aldi Nord / Aldi Sud.

The original Aldi company in Germany was split into two - north Germany / South Germany, over a disagreement on the sales of cigarettes.

‘Irish’ Aldi is Aldi Sud

Is this a common thing in Germany or something?

Like with the Dassler brothers splitting their shoe company between Adi Dassler and the guy who formed Puma.

Pkiernan

KevRossi wrote: »

You're welcome. Thanks for taking the time out to read it and comment on it. Glad you found it useful.

Did you know that Aldi backwards is idlA?

Hotblack Desiato

Sardonicat wrote: »

You're right, I wouldn't believe it. If she wasn't long in the country she wouldn't have been entitled to anything other than a small payment from a community welfare officer who, until recently, came under the auspices of the HSE and operate , still, in separate premises from 'Social Welfare Offices' which haven't been called that for well over a decade. 'Likewise, emergency payments are awarded by Community Welfare Officers, in their offices, not in 'Social Welfare Offices" 'Single Mothers' hasn't been called that for over 20 years. So yeah, you're spoofing in the spoofer thread.

There's also the fuel allowance in summer thing...

El_Duderino 09

KevRossi wrote: »

You're welcome. Thanks for taking the time out to read it and comment on it. Glad you found it useful.

The bit about aldi nord and sud, where the name comes from and the practice of not competing is good knowledge (assuming it's true).

Sonic the Shaghog

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

With the whole African buggy thing tho... I've lost count how many times I've heard it. All originating from a friend, or a friend of a friend, or nephew, niece etc. If it was a true story there would had to of been 10 thousand people waiting for a bus at that bus stop :pac:

A favourite one on here especially was people of say a left leaning persuasion whod rage at this story used often repeat the opposite side of the coin story about a Garda boarding a bus and making straight for the only black person on the bus to ask for his ID only to be ****ed out of it As Gaeilge "to the applaud of the passengers" :pac:

Ditto when any anti multiculturalism thread comes up the amount of people on here who have African neighbors they just saw heading off to hurlin training I'd have expected every inter county team to be half African by now

Capt'n Midnight

Treppen wrote: »

Friend in the CIA (or a Muslim) says there is going to be an incident in the city this weekend so avoid going in.

I told a Muslim friend I was heading down to Limerick next week end and he warned me not to go there :eek:

Because "It's a kip"

bear1

In 1951 a man appeared out of nowhere in the middle of New York.
He subsequently gets hit by a car and dies.
When the police get to the body they find that he was wearing clothes from the previous century.
In his pocket was money which was no longer in circulation, beer tokens for a bar that didn't exist and letters dated from the 1800s as if written the same day.
Guy turned out to have been missing since 1877 or something like that.

Jimbob1977

'Paul Pfeiffer' from The Wonder Years grew up to be Marilyn Manson (completely untrue). He's a lawyer or accountant or something.

Haddaway (early 90s Euro Dance) was Tony Yeboah's strike partner at SV Hamburg.

gogo

Urban legend
Everyone has a friend who bought a coffee and a donut in a cafe but as said cafe was packed they had to share a table with some guy, turnS out that guy started to eat the donut in front of her.. and she couldn’t say anything just sat there in shock as he continued to eat it. She eventually started to give out to him and picked up her coffee and stormed out... only to find her own donut in her pocket on the way home...
I’ve heard this story so many times...

Spoffers:
My friend, let’s call her Mary McDonald told me Ronald McDoanld was her uncle all the way through primary school. I 100% believed her... for years, I believed it for years!

Panthro

Mary Lou McDonald is the daughter of Ronald.

I just made it up.

Suckit

I've heard tons of urban legends over the years. I can't remember most of them. These aren't accurately remembered, these are just the jist of the stories.
(All pre Internet)


A party in some bedsit/terrace house in city centre, and everyone wasl taking drugs (acid in one version, Ecstacy in another etc.), electricity went out, One guy stumbled into a room and realised there was two guys having sex with a girl, said she was loving it, all of them out of it invited him to join, gurning etc.. joined in, electricity came back on and it was his sister. :eek::rolleyes:

*****
Another, Farmer catches two lads hunting on his land, calls one of them over, tells him he will let them stay there for the day/week if he puts down one of his cattle that has some disease/condition and doesn't want to pay the vet bills. He agrees, goes back to his friend who asks what he said. "Ah... he's a bollix, he's always giving out, f**k him" - and shoots the said cow. At which point the other guy continues to shoot the other cows until the guy stops him and tells him he was joking.

******
Two lads are driving and see a lad they know, and tell him to get in the car. He gets in the back seat and asks where did they get the car from. They tell him they robbed it from some guy that they all dislike (ex teacher/bouncer/local busybody etc..) and are going to trash it.

They turn around and he is slashing the backseats with a pen knife. It's actually one of their parents cars..


Loads more. I have one friend that can remember everything (he is probably the one that keeps them going). Whereas I literally have huge memory gaps, so I could be told them again and probably wonder if they're true..

sligojoek

The American who asked "Why did they have to build Windsor Castle under the flight-path of one of the busiest airports in the world?"

Hangdogroad

Pre Internet there were always urban legends about famous people who had dropped out of the spotlight. Bobby MacFerrin of "Dont worry be happy" fame had blown his brains out being one example.

AllForIt

Lived near a lake growing up, and we were told to watch out for otters what would bite your ankle and never let go. Never seen an otter in my life despite living near a lake.

beerguts

This one did the rounds while I was in college.

Young lad picks up strange loner girl in a nightclub. Goes back to hers and they start at it. She insists an inserting the end of a towel into his arse as its a kink of hers, Young lad doesn't give a **** and lets her go ahead with it. He starts pumping away into her and as he tells her he is about to cum she grabs the other end of the towel and whips it out of his arse. This causes him to lose control of his bowels and he ****s all over her and the bed.
Embarrassed he runs into the bathroom and gets a bit of courage after a few minutes to come out and apologise to the girl, only when he does come out she is rolling around in the **** frigging herself. Poor lad then runs out the apartment leaving the strange young wan to her scat fetich.

ArnoldJRimmer

The big one during the Celtic Tiger was that a couple had their wedding booked for Castle Leslie/ Ashford Castle. They then received an offer to have their wedding cost fully covered and mortgage paid off if they move the date as Paul McCartney & Heather Mills/Posh and Becks wanted to have their wedding/ renew their vows that very same weekend. Happened with an awful lot of 'friends of friends'

freshpopcorn

They know somebody who's relative was working in the twin towers in 2001 and on the morning of September 11th they were delayed and didn't make it into work.

joeguevara

When I was in second year college, there was 7 lads living in the house. There was no internet apart from in the computer labs in the university so we had never heard of all the urban legends. One of the lads living with us was from Chicago and was doing a masters. I remember him telling us that when he was doing his undergrad in Chicago his girlfriend lived in a sorority house. Her roommate was a goth and always was vocal in her bedroom antics. He said his girlfriend came home late one night and heard the girl screaming so didn’t turned on the light and presumed she was just having her usual rough s3x. Next morning her roommate was found in a pool of blood in her bed and daubed in the wall in blood was ‘bet you’re glad you didn’t turn on the light.’. Stupidly we fell for it hook line and sinker.

joeguevara

Another one that was doing the rounds was a wife saw on tv the plane crashing into the WTC and franticly called her husband who worked there. He answered without a care in the world and said he was bored at his desk, all the while in his mistresses bed. Talk about getting snared if true, heard something similar about a businessman who said he was on the Malaysian airlines flight that went missing but was shacked up in a hotel bedroom with his secretary. Called his wife to say he landed.

Hangdogroad

freshpopcorn wrote: »

They know somebody who's relative was working in the twin towers in 2001 and on the morning of September 11th they were delayed and didn't make it into work.

There was a story which actually ran on some of the media here in the immediate aftermath of 9-11 that five brothers from I think Monaghan had been pulled alive from the rubble. A Sinn Fein councillor claimed to know who they were but no names were forthcoming. The story disappeared from the papers after a couple of days among the wider 9-11 media coverage.

joeguevara

Heard a cracker from a taxi man. He said his mate who was also a taxi man picked up 3 lads who wanted to go to cork from Dublin. Two of the lads got out in the north of the city and said the third guy who was asleep wanted to be dropped off 5 minutes away and he was going to pay. When he arrived at the destination he tried to wake the guy in the back seat only to find out it was a mannequin. He swore blind it was true.

blade1

joeguevara wrote: »

Heard a cracker from a taxi man. He said his mate who was also a taxi man picked up 3 lads who wanted to go to cork from Dublin. Two of the lads got out in the north of the city and said the third guy who was asleep wanted to be dropped off 5 minutes away and he was going to pay. When he arrived at the destination he tried to wake the guy in the back seat only to find out it was a mannequin. He swore blind it was true.

Two dummies in the car.

joeguevara

It’s gas when an urban legen actually happens to you though. I remember walking down the street when a Mercedes A class stopped to ask for directions to Dublin airport. (Was in Carlow). After giving them he said he was in the rag trade and was exhibiting high quality leather jackets. Said he had remaining stock in his boot but couldn’t bring them on the flight due to excess baggage and did I want to take a look. Ended up buying what I thought was 4 Armani jackets for 200. There must be some spray which imitates leather. Thought I made the deal of the century. Only realised I was conned when I got back to the pub and had a closer look. The labels were all Amrani and obviously pleather. Disgusted with myself I tried to make light of it and told all the regulars the story and showed them. Imagine my surprise when one of them asked could he have one for his dads Christmas present for 250. If someone else told me I wouldn’t believe it.

enfant terrible

Mal-Adjusted wrote: »

There's one that seems to be well known but iv'e only ever heard it on this site about so and so's aunt goes to america and gets into a lift with a black lad who says "hit the floor" and she panicks and cowers on the floor but it turns out to be Will Smith or Denzel Washington.

I distinctly remember a woman ringing into Gerry Ryan to tell that story saying it happened to her.

Only then it was Eddie Murphy and he found her reaction so amusing he payed for her stay in the hotel.

People are strange.

Hangdogroad

enfant terrible wrote: »

I distinctly remember a woman ringing into Gerry Ryan to tell that story saying it happened to her.

Only then it was Eddie Murphy and he found her reaction so amusing he payed for her stay in the hotel.

People are strange.

I remember reading that one in a paper (Sindo I think) circa mid 80s where the black man was Stevie Wonder and it turned out he was telling his guide dog to sit. It was actually in a piece about urban myths so it clearly has a long history.

joeguevara

Some great Bill Murray stories. One about him in a life eating a bag of chips and then licked the other occupants face saying ‘no one will ever believe that this happened’. He definitely adds fuel to the fire when he tweets things like ‘did you ever think about sucking a dentists fingers when he is working on your mouth’.

Lost count of the amount of times I’ve heard a friend of a friend being with a traveller woman and during foreplay being told ‘enough of that fancy sh1te, just horse it into me’ or something similar of a friend of a friend pulling a girl and when the taxi drops them off at a halting site, the guy saying ‘I thought you said you were a nurse’ and her replying ‘I never said that, I said I was one of the Ward sisters’.

Just reminded me of a girl I was seeing once who told me that one of her dads friends was named Sue because his dad had to go on the run, and thought it would toughen him up if he had a girly name. I said nothing but put on Johnny Cash’s greatest hits. Look of pure embarrassment was hilarious.

foxy farmer

Back in the 90s they were extending the natural gas network across Ireland. Somewhere along the way they were passing through a piece of land owned by a cute hoor. He got fierce friendly with the contractors letting them park machinery and stuff in his yard.
. He jokingly said that he was thinking of getting a connection when it was so close to the house. One of the crew said that they could give him one that was off the record but he'd have to give the contractor a "contribution". Grand job he said. The crew said they'd have to do the job some night when engineers etc were not around. He paid them in the meantime. After a few weeks the lads brought in a digger and ran a small pipe to the house and made a connection to the pipeline under cover of darkness. Told him that the gas wouldn't be flowing for about 6 weeks and they'd come back to open a valve when it was. They came one evening to show yer man where the valve was and told him that he had gas in the house now.
After about 3 weeks his gas pressure went to shyte. The contractors were long gone. Afraid there was a leak he rang bord gais telling them all about the illegal connection. A crew and digger were sent out immediately. They dug down around the shut off valve to check things there and then back to the main pipeline. About 4ft out they hit sand and in the sand were 2 yellow calor kosangas drums.

mikemac2

In 1912 a great great grandfather had tickets to board Titanic but went on the lash in Cobh / Queenstown and missed it

He was in the GPO in 1916, himself and 500,000 others. A wonder the Brits won at all with the amount of families claiming a patriot was there

For Forks Sake

joeguevara wrote: »

It’s gas when an urban legen actually happens to you though. I remember walking down the street when a Mercedes A class stopped to ask for directions to Dublin airport. (Was in Carlow). After giving them he said he was in the rag trade and was exhibiting high quality leather jackets. Said he had remaining stock in his boot but couldn’t bring them on the flight due to excess baggage and did I want to take a look. Ended up buying what I thought was 4 Armani jackets for 200. There must be some spray which imitates leather. Thought I made the deal of the century. Only realised I was conned when I got back to the pub and had a closer look. The labels were all Amrani and obviously pleather. Disgusted with myself I tried to make light of it and told all the regulars the story and showed them. Imagine my surprise when one of them asked could he have one for his dads Christmas present for 250. If someone else told me I wouldn’t believe it.

+

Those Italian lads have been at that one for decades at this stage. Same story every time. They used to get the hire cars from a place I worked at in the early 2000s and they were a long time at it before that.