So are you single? Argos style....

Tell me how

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

Possibly... but then the Hugh Jackman types don't wait until they drive away and then text you with a number you didn't give them!

They have the confidence to say what want to say in person!

If the driver had done this, I wouldn't be surprised if it had ended up going the same way with anger being aimed at them for turning a professional interaction in to a personal one. It could be argued that they then felt immediately pressured to respond in a way that wouldn't offend and they are not uncomfortable standing in their own hallway because it reminds them of the experience.

Tell me how

I read the first number of posts on this before reading the article and expected his behaviour to have been much more suspect. I wonder if he had replaced his '?' text a few hours later, with a 'I take it you are not interested. Hope I didn't offend. Take Care'. Or if he had started with 'Hi this is X from Amazon, I dropped off your package around 12:15.....' would it have been treated differently.

The pendulum has swung from where it was pretty much acceptable for a man to say anything in the spirit of 'I'm joking' or 'I was just asking' to now it is unacceptable to say anything unless it is in an environment where it is obvious that both people there are looking to meet someone 'dating app', 'speed dating event' etc.

Maybe it will swing back a bit again to where the question can be asked and answered with both sides not being offended, whatever the outcome but I do understand that in some professional environments, it might always make some one uneasy if the person they are engaging with has admitted to being attracted to them.

Or, maybe AI will move to a point where matches are made with a v high degree of success and real world interactions or explorations no longer are required. Who knows.

Temptamperu

Its literally rape if the guy is ugly.

B.A._Baracus

hynesie08 wrote: »

I was expecting a few people to maybe call it sweet or a misunderstanding (a few did) but the level of vitriol against the girl is insane.

It'd be like you saying you like vanilla ice cream and me calling you a paedophile baby killing protestant......... You're probably not protestant...

... but I am a pedo baby killer. Lol. Nicely played :pac:

kenmm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Well no Ken, it's you that has spun this out by, at the very least, insinuating this incident is comparable to sexual harassment. It is not.

It's not really an oversimplification though. If this lad was objectively good looking, she'd be delighted. Which is fair enough. I don't know what age she is but she kinda needs to grow up a bit. Women in general will be approached by men who they deem are not good looking alot and won't be interested in which is fair enough and also natural enough.

So then, she should actually be a big girl, not let the side down, block this lads number, report him if she feels so aggrieved (which obvs she has already done) and leave it at that. But no, shes looking for a pay out which she may get and a sympathy vote and FB likes.

Question for you, do you think this fella should lose his job over this? Because realistically speaking that is what is going to happen here.

Well church on Tuesday.. all I can say is Jesus Christ that's some mad world you live in. Read all my posts, I never said there was harassment.

It's been fun folks, another boards.ie random ****show of a thread!

hynesie08

kenmm wrote: »

Well church on Tuesday.. all I can say is Jesus Christ that's some mad world you live in. Read all my posts, I never said there was harassment.

It's been fun folks, another boards.ie random ****show of a thread!

I knew where you were coming from, but I do not have the energy or desire to get into a discussion about the build up of sexual micro aggression women experience......
I agree with you though.

noodler

hynesie08 wrote: »

I just saw the girls post on the argos page, she used Facebook because she didn't want to give her phone number which is perfectly reasonable since they'd already crossed that line.....

She went through FB and gave her identity away to the world to avoid giving her phone number?

Would a call or email not have fulfilled the same purpose privately?

Rikand

noodler wrote: »

She went through FB and have her identity away to the world to avoid giving her phone number?

Would a call or email not have fulfilled the same purpose privately?

She clearly didnt think it through. The media saw the post and ran with it and a few days later, the finer side of social media has made her life, and probably the guys life, hell

hynesie08

noodler wrote: »

She went through FB and have her identity away to the world to avoid giving her phone number?

Would a call or email not have fulfilled the same purpose privately?

Maybe I'm older but I don't have anything on social media that I don't want people to see. My phone number though, that's a different scenario altogether......

Church on Tuesday

kenmm wrote: »

Well church on Tuesday.. all I can say is Jesus Christ that's some mad world you live in. Read all my posts, I never said there was harassment.

It's been fun folks, another boards.ie random ****show of a thread!

You didn't answer my question and I'm not surprised.

Church on Tuesday

hynesie08 wrote: »

I knew where you were coming from, but I do not have the energy or desire to get into a discussion about the build up of sexual micro aggression women experience......
I agree with you though.

Happens against men too.

Neither is good obviously.

Inappropriate yes. Creepy yes. Harmless, definitely.

But the response to his behavior has been blown out of proportion. He should be penalised/punished in work for breaking the rules, but nothing beyond that.

The idea that he should be fired or sued for causing some kind of emotional trauma is ridiculous.

MsStote

To be fair I have had this, the guy was a big guy and worked for tesco. I mean he comes into my home and I was afraid of him after he texted me. I did not give him my number and I had to call his work. However he knows where I live, I feared retribution for it. Hell I have cameras up in part due to this. I didn't want money, I just didn't want that happening again.

Like I have the numbers of some of the drivers, few of them on my facebook as we get on. He just went too far.

MsStote

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Happens against men too.

Neither is good obviously.

Too true and I find other women tend to feel that a guy shouldn't say he is uncomfortable or they respond "What are you gay?". It's a horrid situation.

kenmm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

You didn't answer my question and I'm not surprised.

Sigh. Ok.

Yes he will loose his job. Not because of this so called 'sexual harassment' case that you invented but simply because he broke the trust if his employer by taking a customers data (and never mind that he caused public bad press etc)

Do I think he deserves to be fired on the very few facts I'm aware of? Probably not, if I were in charge I'd be looking to deal with this through disciplinary action and training.

But remind me, what's your point?

Church on Tuesday

kenmm wrote: »

Sigh. Ok.

Yes he will loose his job. Not because of this so called 'sexual harassment' case that you invented but simply because he broke the trust if his employer by taking a customers data (and never mind that he caused public bad press etc)

Do I think he deserves to be fired on the very few facts I'm aware of? Probably not, if I were in charge I'd be looking to deal with this through disciplinary action and training.

But remind me, what's your point?

And I wholeheartedly agree with you. He will certainly lose his job though over a dumb incident (not sexual harassment, he did nothing to her and I'm not the one who did imply that) which is a shame.

That's my point. Storm meet teacup. Just two kids as dumb as each other.

kenmm

He came across as a creep. That's all I ever said in relation to the girl.

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm not the one who did imply that)

Cool. That makes two of us then.

Esse85

What ages are those involved?
Sounds like a silly thing to do from the guy. Clearly he has no cop on.
I don't think there was intended malice there.
Probably bored and trying to create excitement for himself, but definitely can't be carrying on like that.

The girls reaction was over the top, we all know the explosion that happens when something is made public on social media. It's bringing attention on yourself.

The right course of action would of been to contact Argos directly in private and express her concerns.

Sam Quentin

hynesie08 wrote: »

I didn't say everyone, I said anyone, at least one person has said she was rude for not texting him back.....

Again, she has been called everything from ugly to a bitch, that is not a normal response......

I'd rather be called ugly and a bollóx than weird and creepy,. for texting a feckin girl...
Girls are so silly 😂

Church on Tuesday

kenmm wrote: »

He came across as a creep. That's all I ever said in relation to the girl.



Cool. That makes two of us then.

Not going in roundabouts over this I've said my piece.

I would ask that people use some common sense and leave agendas to one side; both genders have done ****ty things to each other for centuries and people's personal experience with either gender should not color people's perspective over a fairly, in the grand scale of things, dumb innocuous incident like this blown completely out of proportion, yet when these kinds of threads come up, it always does.

eviltwin

I’d imagine the contract he signed would have a section on customer data and it’s improper use. I know mine does. Stupid thing to do but if you play silly games expect a p45. Hopefully he will be a bit more professional in his next job.

Tell me how

Does this mean that if you meet someone through your professional work, you can never explore a relationship with them?

But, how are you to know? His text wasn't derogatory or gratuitous and it seems he didn't respond with any insulting comments at any point.

Say this guy was smitten, love at first sight, butterflies in stomach and all that. If she had felt the same way, this could be a feel good story. (I do realise that is an 'If' there, and who knows how big that is in any given situation)

Sam Quentin

Esse85 wrote: »

What ages are those involved?
Sounds like a silly thing to do from the guy. Clearly he has no cop on.
I don't think there was intended malice there.
Probably bored and trying to create excitement for himself, but definitely can't be carrying on like that.

The girls reaction was over the top, we all know the explosion that happens when something is made public on social media. It's bringing attention on yourself.

The right course of action would of been to contact Argos directly in private and express her concerns.

Maybe he's older than we think or they both are...and maybe he didn't think she'd act like a complete silly girl by telling everyone on fb!? Would have been such a nice Rom-Com if only she just didn't go all psycho....poor guy. Anyway I still don't understand how she heard the doorbell when she was washing the dishes and why didn't she have a meal ready for him when he called!? Some women just don't know their place these days.. lol

Henry Ford III

[Deleted User] wrote: »

using somebody's contact details you got from working with their info to ask them out after meeting them once is insane behaviour.

insane.

trying to handwave that away as if its normal is ridiculous

What if he'd asked her out in person when he met her? Is that against GDPR or similar?

Sardonicat

Henry Ford III wrote: »

What if he'd asked her out in person when he met her? Is that against GDPR or similar?

No. It's not very professional though. But if they'd been interacting and a bit of rapport built up and he could read social cues then fair enough. But what he did was way off. Either totally socially inept, which is not her job to ameliorate, or a complete and utter creep.

o1s1n

Jaysus, hard to believe anyone wouldn't find this weird and creepy. I've read about takeaway delivery drivers doing it too. Completely unacceptable.

Years ago, a girl I used to live with had a door to door sales man knock. He was pretty pushy and managed to get into the house to check the electric meter.

Started getting very friendly with compliments calling her a 'beautiful girl' and asking for her number/was she single when he was in the bloody house! She was beyond freaked out as you can imagine.

We rang up to complain and insisted he was fired. Apparently that's what happened.

It's a bit freaky having someone fired who then knows where you live..!

noodler

hynesie08 wrote: »

Maybe I'm older but I don't have anything on social media that I don't want people to see. My phone number though, that's a different scenario altogether......

I think you've missed the point here.

Not only could she have phoned or emailed her complaint, and still kept her number private, but she could have avoided the whole world being able to see her complaint.

Tell me how

o1s1n wrote: »

Jaysus, hard to believe anyone wouldn't find this weird and creepy.

Given your post, can you comment on the below. I am genuinely curious.

Tell me how wrote: »

Does this mean that if you meet someone through your professional work, you can never explore a relationship with them?

But, how are you to know? His text wasn't derogatory or gratuitous and it seems he didn't respond with any insulting comments at any point.

Say this guy was smitten, love at first sight, butterflies in stomach and all that. If she had felt the same way, this could be a feel good story. (I do realise that is an 'If' there, and who knows how big that is in any given situation)

kenmm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Not going in roundabouts over this I've said my piece.

I would ask that people use some common sense and leave agendas to one side; both genders have done ****ty things to each other for centuries and people's personal experience with either gender should not color people's perspective over a fairly, in the grand scale of things, dumb innocuous incident like this blown completely out of proportion, yet when these kinds of threads come up, it always does.

Agendas? Like what? You've said your piece, but it's mostly made up (in relation to what you think I said or implied or what agenda I'm pushing).

I only ever said that the guy done a silly thing, probably good intentions but he crossed a line of creepiness. Not wanting him fired, locked up, balls cut off or anything.

I did use a history of harassment* to point out why you cannot oversimplify the argument around 'ah sure imagine it was a guy on the receiving end'. But tbh, that whole proposition is flawed as it's got SFA to do with this specific case.

No agenda, no building this one incident up.

*I also generalised, both sexes have done wrong in the past, irrelevant but true, terms and conditions apply etc etc

hynesie08

Henry Ford III wrote: »

What if he'd asked her out in person when he met her? Is that against GDPR or similar?

No and if he'd have asked for her number and she said yes, that'd be fine......

hynesie08

noodler wrote: »

I think you've missed the point here.

Not only could she have phoned or emailed her complaint, and still kept her number private, but she could have avoided the whole world being able to see her complaint.

Not if she wanted a reply though, kind of have to give them your number in that case.....

SwordofLight

Don't agree with the sentiment there is an intent to sue, that's ridiculous.

The guy completely abused her information and right to privacy.

Pretty insensitive to suggest she should just get over it. Pretty intimidating and takes a lot of guts to say something especially given he knows her address and number.

The real question is - what if it was a girl as the delivery driver ---- would it be any less of a drama? haha I won't be offering an opinion on that one!

o1s1n

Tell me how wrote: »

Given your post, can you comment on the below. I am genuinely curious.

There are definitely limits to it.

Two office workers trading glances and smiles at a cooler is very different to collecting pretty girls phone numbers as a delivery man and using them later.

Stateofyou

Not sure if this has been said the last 13 pages, but something I have learned is not to belittle women's experiences like was done in the OP and I'm sure up and down this thread. If you're male, you have no clue the insane levels of precautions women take in their every day lives to be and stay safe. As a husband and also father to a daughter it's now something I'm aware of and think about from time to time.

Sometimes when women reject a man, he gets his ego hurt and things turn ugly very quickly. Women know this, and in our society are conditioned to try and appear as nice and accommodating as possible so as to not end up stalked, hurt or worse.

How about instead of telling women their ridiculous for speaking up or threatening to sue or whatever you imagine, and focusing on women's reactions - focus on calling out men and their bad behaviour and holding them accountable instead.

BorneTobyWilde

Had he asked in person it would have been a non issue. Texting was crossing a professional line as he used the number on file to help his delivery for a personal reason.

noodler

hynesie08 wrote: »

Not if she wanted a reply though, kind of have to give them your number in that case.....

Eh..are you taking the piss?

She'd rather the whole world see her making the complaint on Facebook then give the company her contact details?

1. The company have her number. Hence the thread.

2. Can Argos act without any further info other than a partially censored screengrab?

How do you expect she will get any official "satisfaction" out of this without contact info?

Do you expect Argos to issue an official apology through her FB DMs? How does she intend to sue?

It seems fairly clear she wanted this public despite.you bending over backwards to try and explain it.

Clare Kat

noodler wrote: »

The takeaway man knows where you live.

The postman.

The couriers.


I think people are making an enormous leap from an inappropriate text to stalking/home invasion or whatever they have in mind when they bring up the address.

Fair point... and I’m a woman.

MsStote

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Had he asked in person it would have been a non issue. Texting was crossing a professional line as he used the number on file to help his delivery for a personal reason.

No this is actually worse. You do not pressure me with a question like that on my doorstep. This is my safe place. Ask me outside my home somewhere, okay but I would be afraid of saying the wrong thing. I do not think that some people get that some (NOT ALL) people can get very angry when rejected.

Tell me how

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Had he asked in person it would have been a non issue. Texting was crossing a professional line as he used the number on file to help his delivery for a personal reason.

How? In person in the moment? Or, in person after calling back later?

I think the former would have also be viewed as being unprofessional and crossing a line, I think the latter would have been viewed as being even creepier than what did happen.

hynesie08

noodler wrote: »

Eh..are you taking the piss?

She'd rather the whole world see her making the complaint on Facebook then give the company her contact details?

1. The company have her number. Hence the thread.

2. Can Argos act without any further info other than a partially censored screengrab?

How do you expect she will get any official "satisfaction" out of this without contact info?

Do you expect Argos to issue an official apology through her FB DMs? How does she intend to sue?

It seems fairly clear she wanted this public despite.you bending over backwards to try and explain it.

1:She says that she doesn't want to give her phone number unless it's to a manager because she doesn't trust them with it. Not an unfair stance to be fair

2:Do we know there wasn't follow up conversations through DM or messenger?

I don't expect argos to do anything, but maybe she got an email or direct contact from them to follow up? Also there's the imaginary lawsuit again.

I never said she didn't want it public, I said I understood why she didn't want them to have her number since they can't be trusted with it. Or maybe she's trying to warn other women??

SineadSpears

Sardonicat wrote: »

Imagine if he was a stalker with sinister intent and she'd just shrugged it off and didn't report him?

Imagine if he was a genuine guy who just liked her, & was working his way towards asking her out.

Stateofyou wrote: »

Not sure if this has been said the last 13 pages, but something I have learned is not to belittle women's experiences like was done in the OP and I'm sure up and down this thread. If you're male, you have no clue the insane levels of precautions women take in their every day lives to be and stay safe. As a husband and also father to a daughter it's now something I'm aware of and think about from time to time.

Sometimes when women reject a man, he gets his ego hurt and things turn ugly very quickly. Women know this, and in our society are conditioned to try and appear as nice and accommodating as possible so as to not end up stalked, hurt or worse.

How about instead of telling women their ridiculous for speaking up or threatening to sue or whatever you imagine, and focusing on women's reactions - focus on calling out men and their bad behaviour and holding them accountable instead.

I understand this, but we can't tarnish all men(in all situations) with that same brush.

The GDPR thing is a separate issue, but him being called 'creepy' for wanting to ask a woman out, is wrong imo. I feel so sorry for the man in this situation .


Similar thing actually happened to me before. Maintenance guy messaged me asking was I going out with anyone. I didn't for a second think it was creepy. I wasnt interested at all, & just told him I was in fact seeing somebody. We both laughed it off, & that was that

Edit: just want to add, in my situation above, I did feel a tad bit uncomfortable simply because of the fact that I wasnt interested. Not, to the point if me thinking the man in question was creepy though

No winners here except social media. The guy made a mistake and the girl doubled down.

Clicks ahoy.

I sometimes think I inhabit a completely different world to some other people. My world has no fear of men or a constant need to protect myself. I go about my business free from harm and threat. Sure I've encouraged the odd over eager lad on a night out. When it comes to paying for a service I've been asked out by taxi drivers and actually briefly dated one years ago because he took a chance.

That's me and my life. I understand others take a different view. Its not fair to pick on this woman for how she feels. Obviously his approach upset her.

Personally though I think we have become more and more afraid of human connection.
Be it the person showing romantic interest or the stranger striking up a conversation at the bus stop. Its sad.

Sam Quentin

I think she should have got him in the sack...but not get him the sack. Yaaaaaa-Love-It lol.
All joking aside, I hope the guy doesn't suffer from this in his work life and I hope the girl calms down a bit and take it for what it was...the guy fancied her and the feeling wasn't mutual. That's it. God bless both of them Amen.

o1s1n

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I sometimes think I inhabit a completely different world to some other people. My world has no fear of men or a constant need to protect myself. I go about my business free from harm and threat. Sure I've encouraged the odd over eager lad on a night out. When it comes to paying for a service I've been asked out by taxi drivers and actually briefly dated one years ago because he took a chance.

That's me and my life. I understand others take a different view. Its not fair to pick on this woman for how she feels. Obviously his approach upset her.

Personally though I think we have become more and more afraid of human connection.
Be it the person showing romantic interest or the stranger striking up a conversation at the bus stop. Its sad.

Maybe she gets this kind of thing all the time?

I've a good friend who constantly gets cat called and harassed by dudes in day to day life on the street. In the middle of the day. Have literally been there on multiple occasions when it's happened. Definitely an eye opener.

The situation really does vary from person to person, some girls and women are more of a target than others.

Church on Tuesday

Deleted User wrote: »

I sometimes think I inhabit a completely different world to some other people. My world has no fear of men or a constant need to protect myself. I go about my business free from harm and threat. Sure I've encouraged the odd over eager lad on a night out. When it comes to paying for a service I've been asked out by taxi drivers and actually briefly dated one years ago because he took a chance.

That's me and my life. I understand others take a different view. Its not fair to pick on this woman for how she feels. Obviously his approach upset her.

Personally though I think we have become more and more afraid of human connection.
Be it the person showing romantic interest or the stranger striking up a conversation at the bus stop. Its sad.

Nail on head. It's breathtakingly sad, some of the responses and virtue signaling on here make me despair for the future of humanity. It's like we have to be automatons now; no spontaneity or excitement, or chancing your arm with that person you fancy everybody is/could be a threat, it's sad.

SineadSpears

Sam Quentin wrote: »

I think she should have got him in the sack...but not get him the sack. Yaaaaaa-Love-It lol.
All joking aside, I hope the guy doesn't suffer from this in his work life and I hope the girl calms down a bit and take it for what it was...the guy fancied her and the feeling wasn't mutual. That's it. God bless both of them Amen.

Unfortunately for him, I imagine he will suffer in his work life because of the GDPR issue.

And also his personal life, after a lot of people are now branding him a creep

Sam Quentin

SineadSpears wrote: »

Unfortunately for him, I imagine he will suffer in his work life because of the GDPR issue.

And also his personal life, after a lot of people are now branding him a creep

Unfortunately I think you are right..
That's life I suppose, wasn't like that when I was a 'younger' man. No wonder there is so many suicides among young men,.not a bit of wonder...
Sad so f#@+&n sad.

Girl from Whitesnake Video

Have only read the op so far, will go back. From that I think she over-reacted however you don't know the body language that he conveyed, the actual interaction they did have when he made the delivery originally so you can't really make a judgement against her on it. Plus she is well within her rights to make a complaint and it is understandable.

Personally if I felt it was harmless chat up and just a genuine guy chancing his arm, I'd have left it at that but we don't know all of their interactions.

SineadSpears

Something is wrong and I can't quote Diamonds post.
Anyway, just on one point, 'its not fair to pick on this woman for how she feels'.

I fully accept that she didn't like his approach. However, I am not a fan of how she herself handled the situation. Shaming him on social media.
I only hope his name wasn't mentioned online by her, or anyone else