terrible feeling

Psychiatric Patrick

I have an awful feeling of dread hanging over me since I woke up half eight.

I felt a bit off since yesterday evening and thought it was just that I was tired or maybe getting ill but now it is like butterflies in my stomach but the butterflies are in an unmerciful panic.

Last time I felt like this was when I knew sibling conflict was on the horizon but this time I have no idea what the cause is.

I know there are serious issues discussed here but I'm hoping "voicing" the feeling makes it go away. I post it another section first but it didn't make me feel better.

Psychiatric Patrick

I was just posting in another thread and it made me realise the source of the feeling of dread.

Siblings. And since there is no specific drama going on at the moment, the dread is obviously just about them in general I don't think the feeling is going away anytime soon.

statto25

Has anything happened recently between you and your siblings? Is the previous issue you mentioned unresolved and something has triggered the thoughts of it again?

Psychiatric Patrick

statto25 wrote: »

Has anything happened recently between you and your siblings? Is the previous issue you mentioned unresolved and something has triggered the thoughts of it again?

No nothing has happened recently involving me.

The drama is regular occurrence and I'm usually well able for the troublesome sisters but get the dread feeling when I'm not and know something is coming.

Hate that they are getting to me.

Airyfairy12

It sounds like anxiety, sometimes after having a bad dream that you might not have even been aware of, can leave you waking up with left over emotions from the dream or it could easily be a case of not getting out of the house enough, not exercising, over thinking, negative thoughts youre not aware youre even having.
Distract yourself, do something you enjoy, feelings pass.

Psychiatric Patrick

statto25 wrote: »

Has anything happened recently between you and your siblings? Is the previous issue you mentioned unresolved and something has triggered the thoughts of it again?

Your post got me thinking and there was something recently but I hadn't taken it into account because I wasn't directly involved and a cousin had sorted it out.

It was bothering me but I didn't realise it was that much but it is just one part of a list.

Me and my father do not get along but he and my mother need me. He is not a competent carer. And he is old. He wants me living elsewhere but freaks to at the thought I might move out. I want to live elsewhere but freak out t the thoughts of how not able he is.

I had a chat with him about the trouble that happens. I said too much like the fact that I want to move away which had him scrambling for reason that there is no reason I can't live nearby and reasons that would delay me moving.

I actually feel bit worse now.

Psychiatric Patrick

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

It sounds like anxiety, sometimes after having a bad dream that you might not have even been aware of, can leave you waking up with left over emotions from the dream or it could easily be a case of not getting out of the house enough, not exercising, over thinking, negative thoughts youre not aware youre even having.
Distract yourself, do something you enjoy, feelings pass.

I believe you are right.

As aware as I am of my mental health I still can be in denial about things.

For the sake of my mother having peace and quiet I take a lot of ****. This happened when I was young in a job I had - everyone was really sour and nasty and bigger - I had had to button my smart arse gob. I didn't know this was bullying until I started getting help,

It is starting again,

cj maxx

Psychiatric Patrick wrote: »

I believe you are right.

As aware as I am of my mental health I still can be in denial about things.

For the sake of my mother having peace and quiet I take a lot of ****. This happened when I was young in a job I had - everyone was really sour and nasty and bigger - I had had to button my smart arse gob. I didn't know this was bullying until I started getting help,

It is starting again,

I’ve had that feeling all week. Every day. I know there’s big **** coming down the line I the next weeks so at least I know what it is, but couldn’t put a name on it till now. Anxiety

Psychiatric Patrick

cj maxx wrote: »

I’ve had that feeling all week. Every day. I know there’s big **** coming down the line I the next weeks so at least I know what it is, but couldn’t put a name on it till now. Anxiety

Just a bit confused.

Do you mean you are expecting trouble and you didn't know the feeling you had about it is anxiety ?

statto25

Do your siblings live with you and your parents?

Psychiatric Patrick

statto25 wrote: »

Do your siblings live with you and your parents?

No. Just me here.

I'd do anything for my mother and never intended on living here but even though most of them were in denial I was railroaded in staying here.

Afraid to leave in case something happens.

Two times when I was away last year my mother fell. I go to Tescos for the groceries and sometimes come back to find she has left the house.

statto25

Psychiatric Patrick wrote: »

No. Just me here.

I'd do anything for my mother and never intended on living here but even though most of them were in denial I was railroaded in staying here.

Afraid to leave in case something happens.

Two times when I was away last year my mother fell. I go to Tescos for the groceries and sometimes come back to find she has left the house.

Do they live close by or do they help with your parents at all. I agree with the guys above that you are anxious. You are trying to cope with looking after your parents and lets face it despite your mother being the one who needs looking after you are doing it for both. You are also worried about your siblings and the drama they bring.

You may be overwhelmed with the responsibility of your parents care so is there a possibility of getting some help from other relations or looking into some home help for your mother?

Judging by your anxiety around your siblings I wouldnt ask them to assist but they are also an option if they can provide the help and go without causing an issue

Psychiatric Patrick

statto25 wrote: »

Do they live close by or do they help with your parents at all. I agree with the guys above that you are anxious. You are trying to cope with looking after your parents and lets face it despite your mother being the one who needs looking after you are doing it for both. You are also worried about your siblings and the drama they bring.

You may be looking overwhelmed with the responsibility of your parents care so is there a possibility of getting some help from other relations or looking into some home help for your mother?

Judging by your anxiety around your siblings I wouldnt ask them to assist but they are also an option if they can provide the help and go without causing an issue

I have one sister who helps because she wants to.

One living close that used to too much who my parents were fit and able but now seems to desperate to avoid facing anything.

The others are just unreal - they have a holier than thou attitude from being "born again" but you wouldn't believed the nasty comments they are capable of.

The "death and inheritance" sibling comes somewhat regularly for helping with showering and she put on a show like we were great friends and I was great for being around while reading the other. I didn't buy it but a few weeks in the lockdown she accidentally sent me the texts meant for another sister -when she found I had seen them she just went savage.

My father's temper is through the roof after she leaves and he attacks me about some nonsense that he doesn't care about. Rest of the week he is fine. Just recently she tried to turn my father against a relative both my parents adore. Fortunately my father only ever argued with offspring (no mainly me) and someone managed to talk sense into him.

He stopped being in denial during the lockdown and has now stepped up, but he has taken on too much and left me nothing around the house to help with. That is also part of the why they are all getting to me.

He finally went to the HSE for help but he made a bags of the nurses visit and now buy mother doesn't like her.

It sounds awful but I'm waiting for something happens to him so that my other isn't alone in the house when it does.

Psychiatric Patrick

I have to get my sister who lives close to wake up but no idea how to get through here.

She knows the others are terrible but won't speak out like she used to.